Chuckling, he smiled. “Have no fear. I was a regular MD before I decided to go into therapy. I promise I won’t destroy your digit.”
I snickered at his choice of words. True, I wasn’t eager for him to do this, but I trusted him. There was just something about the silver haired man that made me want to tell all to him. I guess his switch into the therapy field was a good choice.
“Okay, depending on whether or not you are squeamish, you may want to look away.”
I wasn’t squeamish, normally, but since it was my own hand being treated this time, I looked away anyway.
“Take a deep breath and relax,” he coached and I tried to do what he asked. “Here we go.”
I couldn’t help the loud wince that escaped me, which was immediately followed by a sigh of relief. Glancing back at my thumb, I was surprised by how much blood was welling out of the small hole, and dismayed to notice it seemed to have had enough force behind it that it had shot up on the doctor’s sleeve.
“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry about your shirt. I can buy you a new one.”
“Nonsense. It’s fine. I keep an extra set of clothes here in case I ever need to change for any reason. Plus, I can also round up some scrubs. It’s all good.”
“Well, I’m happy to do it. You’ve been such a help to me.”
“Give me a ring when you and Skip have lunch and we’ll call it even.” He winked at me as he finished placing a nice Band-Aid around my finger. “There you go. You’re all set. If you need any more pain medicine just give me a holler.” He slipped a small foil package in my hand with ibuprofen in it. “This should help the inflammation. Let me grab you some water.”
I felt bad, watching as he hurried to the water cooler and filled a small cup, bringing it back to me. “Thank you. You don’t have to wait on me,” I said with a laugh. “I’m sure you have better things to do.”
“What can be better than helping out the sweetest nurse on the planet?” He smiled again as I opened the packet and downed the meds.
“I doubt you’d find me sweet if you’d been with me on the 405 this morning,” I said when I’d finished. “I’m pretty sure my mom would’ve washed my mouth out with soap if she’d heard me.”
Laughing heartily, he nodded. “Anyone who drives that road on a regular basis probably has the same vocabulary you do. It’s a nightmare.”
“I agree.” I glanced at my watch again. “Damn. It’s already time to start my rounds. I better get going.”
“Good luck! I hope you have a better day. Don’t forget to call me for lunch.” He held the door open for me.
“I will. Have a good morning.”
Rushing down the hall, I hurried into the women’s locker room, finding it empty. Quickly, I threw my items into my locker, grabbed my stethoscope, and slipped it around my neck before punching in my time card. Making my way back out, I practically ran to the staffing office, bursting through the doorway.
“I’m so sorry I’m late, Angie. It’s been a killer morning. I slammed my thumb in the car door when I got here and Dr. Wilson had to help me with it.” I held up my injured hand as proof.
“No worries. I just barely passed out charts in the staffing meeting. You aren’t that late. Here’s your charts for the day, and you have a new patient on your list, too.”
Quickly, I scanned the names she’d given me, noting that a John Carpenter had been added at the bottom in room twelve. “I see he’s an inpatient who needs medication doses this morning. I guess I’ll start with him first, since he will be the one who probably needs me the most.”
“You should know that—”
“Aubrey! Oh good, you’re here.” Another nurse, and good friend, Chelle, stuck her head in the door. “I need to ask you a question about your patient that was shifted to my roster last week.”
“Okay,” I said, quickly waving at Angie as I exited the room. “Thanks for you help. See you later!”
“Have a good day,” she called after me as I made my way out into the corridor.
“I’m on my way to the pharmacy,” I told Chelle. “Wanna walk with me?”
“Perfect. That’s where I need to go, as well.”
“What’s your question?”
“Nothing too big. I just noticed you never signed off on the transfer papers for Melinda Barker when I took over her care after you had to leave early last week.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I swear I’ve been so scatterbrained lately. Do you have the paperwork with you right now? I can sign it.”
“Yeah.” She handed me her clipboard and shuffled a few things, pointing to the line I needed to sign. Checking to make sure it was the right document, I quickly penned my name, followed by my RN title and employee ID number, and handed it back. “Thanks a bunch.”
“Sorry. Next time just smack me upside the head.”
“Whatever. I think with all the crazy going on in your life lately, I can look past you being scatterbrained. It happens to the best of us.”
“Well, I’ve had enough surprises in my life of late. I’m ready to buckle down and get back to normal . . . whatever that is.” I laughed and she joined me.
“How can I help you pretty ladies this morning?” Mitch, the pharmacist, said as we approached his window, and the two of us slid our medication orders to him under the Plexiglas protection.
“Same old stuff, I’m afraid,” Chelle said, tossing her long, blonde ponytail over her shoulder.
“Well, seeing your faces is a pleasure at least.” He gave a quick smile and disappeared into the rows of shelves behind him.
“So how’d your date with Colton go this weekend?” I asked, making small talk while the meds we needed were filled. Basically, my love life and desires were all lived vicariously through Chelle. I lived to hear about the dates she went on because often times her stories were hilarious.
A dreamy look settled across her features, and she sighed. “It was incredible. Want to hear about it over lunch?”
“I’d love to, but I promised to eat with Skip and Dr. Wilson.”
She waved a hand, nonchalantly. “They can hear about it, too. I swear the man is a stallion. I can’t wait to fill you in.”
A stallion. “It must be nice,” I replied, my thoughts absently drifting to my own sex life—or rather lack of one. “I’m officially listed as celibate. I just can’t seem to find the right guy.” That was putting it mildly. My dating life was a mess. Truth be told, I was ready to swear off dating completely. The only good guys out there were already taken and the rest were pure scum.
“Keep the faith, girlfriend. You never know when Mr. Right is going to be standing around the next corner. I know he’s out there. You’re too good to pass up.”
Laughing, I shook my head and peeked around the corner. “Nope, he’s not there.” Sighing, I shrugged.
“Maybe it will be the next one,” she teased.
“I hope so. I need a man in a big way. I have parts that are drying up and shriveling to nothingness.”
She snorted. “Whatever. You’re a catch and if a guy can’t see that, then he’s too dumb to live. You’re smart, and you look like a walking supermodel.”
“Ha, ha, ha!” I enunciated, trying to resist the urge to roll my eyes. “Maybe I should just start dating you,” I joked back.
“We’d be too explosive,” she replied without missing a beat. “Besides, I don’t swing that way. I need certain appendages to be long, hard, and stiff.”
I snorted. Chelle wasn’t ever afraid to say what she was thinking. I found it kind of refreshing. Everyone knew exactly where they stood with her. There was never any second-guessing or weird drama with her. It was nice.
Mitch returned to the window at that moment, sliding my meds along with the orders to me on a tray. “Here you go.”
“Thanks.” I lifted the tray and glanced at Chelle. “Unfortunately, no one seems to swing my way.”
“I do,” Mitch promptly added with a grin.
Smiling back at him, I
shook my head at the short, balding man. “I wouldn’t be able to handle you, Mitch. You’re too much man for me.” I winked and he flushed, clearly pleased with the boost to his ego. “See you both later,” I added and hurried off to start my rounds.
“Missing! Where in the World is Z McCartney?”
~Entertainment Daily~
Chapter Four
Aubrey
Reaching room number twelve, I knocked lightly, glancing at the name on my chart. “I’m here for morning rounds, Mr. Carpenter,” I said through the door.
“Come in,” a slightly gruff voice said.
Turning the knob, I entered, balancing the items I was carrying in my other hand. “Good morning, Mr. Carp—”
A small shriek escaped my lips as I stared at the man in front of me and everything I was holding clattered to the floor. Eyes widening, I covered my mouth, as shock flooded my system and I backed away.
In a flash he moved, zipping behind me and shutting the door. “Aubrey, please let me explain.” His words came out in a rush as he stared at me.
“You’re here. How are you here? How is this possible?” Tears came, unbidden, as I took in the extremely handsome man in front of me. He’d been a boy the last time I’d seen him in person, but there was no doubt he was a man now.
My traitorous body instantly reacted to being in the same room with him, just like it had in high school. Everything felt heightened and on the verge of exploding. I’d never expected to see him again—ever. I’d made my peace with it. Yet, here he was.
Unspeaking, he simply continued to stare at me, a thirsty look filling his incredible blue eyes, the same blue eyes that had hypnotized me every second I’d ever spent with him.
Stop! I yelled, mentally. You can’t let him affect you like this again! Pull yourself together! Steeling myself I dropped my hands. “What are you doing here?” I said, more forcefully.
A soft chuckle escaped him, and the action drew my attention to his very well formed chest that was aptly highlighted in the V-neck t-shirt he was wearing. From there I drifted to his large biceps, noting he had tattoos that didn’t used to be there. “Isn’t it obvious,” he said, redirecting my focus back to his gorgeous face and his full lips—lips that used to kiss me for hours at a time. I wondered how many other women besides me had had the pleasure of his kiss now. “I seem to have discovered I have a little drug problem.”
It wasn’t until then that I actually noticed how much he was shaking. Seeing that shocked me back into my routine. “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry. You need your meds!”
Glancing at the floor, I saw the pills scattered across the papers from his file.
“Let me go get you some fresh ones real quick,” I added, bending to pick up what I’d dropped and trying to scoop up the papers.
“Aubrey.” My name was soft on his lips as he crouched beside me, reaching out and stilling my hands with his own. Heat streaked through me instantly at the contact. “These pills are fine.” Carefully, he pried my fingers open and took the medication, popping it quickly into his mouth. Eyes never leaving me, it was as if a thousand questions were in his eyes. “I’m sorry I shocked you, but damn girl, it’s great to see you again.”
I couldn’t stand sitting here pretending we both weren’t ignoring the giant elephant in the room. Unable to hold it back anymore, I burst into tears. “You left me.” The nagging residual pain I felt every time I thought of him was back in full strength. Everything felt fresh, as if simply seeing him in this moment had torn my heart completely open again.
Regret filled his features. “I know. I’m so sorry. Come on. Leave this stuff and come sit on the bed.” Offering his hand, he helped me up and I let him guide me to the bed, my mind a swirling mess of confusion. I didn’t know how to process this, and while I’d imagined him reappearing in my life on many occasions, this was certainly one scenario that had never crossed my mind.
Sitting, I placed my hands in my lap and stared at the wall, unable to look at him for too long. It brought up too many emotions for me. “I never thought I'd see you again.”
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “I don’t know what to say.”
“You hurt me, Zane.” I glanced at him, wanting him to see the pain in my eyes. “I’ve never been so hurt in my life.” I used to dream of having the opportunity to tell him exactly how bad he’d hurt me. Now he was here, and I wasn’t going to miss my chance while I had it.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were here?” he asked, and I was surprised to see the emotion in his eyes mirroring my own.
I snorted, feeling ill. “I tried. You were too preoccupied to notice.”
“What do you mean?” He sounded confused.
Standing, I had to move away from him. I needed space. When he was so close it made it hard to think. “I came to see you, Zane. I missed you terribly and wanted to be with you, so I packed up all my bags, my tiny bit of savings, and came to Los Angeles.”
Memories and images I’d tried to bury for years were burned into my mind, but instead of shoving them away like usual, I embraced them, ready to wield them like the true weapons they were. “Imagine my surprise when I went to my boyfriend’s apartment building and found him having a private little pool party with not one girl but three. You seemed to be having a pretty great time, if all the grunting and moaning you were doing was any indication.”
“Fuck,” he muttered, dragging his hand through his messy light brown hair and even that simple gesture looked sexier than anything I’d seen in the last ten years. I hated how my body reacted to him, as if no time had passed at all. It would be so easy to just fall back into those arms and join the rest of the world in worshipping at the altar that was Zane McCartney. Glancing back at me, his eyes penetrated mine, seeming as if he could see right inside me. “You should’ve told me you came.”
“Yeah, I can see that conversation now. 'Hey Zane, I dropped by earlier but you were busy fucking the neighborhood, so I figured I’d just let you know I was in town.'” Sarcasm dripped heavily from my voice, but I didn’t care. I was bitter. “I’m sorry, but I deserved better from you. As of that moment I realized whatever we had together ceased to exist.”
“I don’t know what to say.” He seemed lost, forlorn, and I hated it. I didn’t want to comfort him or ease anything for him. I wanted him to feel every second of pain and sorrow he’d caused me. I wanted him to feel terrible.
“You don’t need to say anything. You made your choice loud and clear. I never heard from you again after that either, so I guess everything you told me before that was just a lie to get me to sleep with you before you left. You got what you wanted. That’s all that matters. I hope it made you happy.”
“Hey, now. I wasn’t that big of a jerk. I didn’t tell you anything to get you into bed. You know as well as me that I was in love with you. What happened between us . . . well, it was magical.”
“So magical that you immediately left me to come be a star in Hollywood and promptly forgot all about me?” Bitterness laced my words, ten years of suffering boiling to the surface. I sank into one of the chairs at the table.
“You’re wrong. I’ve never forgotten about you, Aubrey. I couldn’t even if I wanted to.” Standing, he walked over toward the window, staring at the closed blinds with his arms folded. “Trust me, I tried.”
“You sure have a funny way of showing it.”
Absently, he rubbed at his chest, his expression pained. “Things were crazy back then. I was thrown into the middle of this insane lifestyle and all these things were coming at me full speed. It was so different from growing up in Montana. I loved it, though. I wanted to do everything, be a part of all of it.”
Head drooping, he stared at his feet. “My modeling agent took me to a big party one night, not long after I got here. There was all this alcohol, and the drugs . . . I couldn’t believe how open and free everyone was with them. I didn’t use anything back then, substance wise, except for alcohol and the occasional joint.” Pausing, he sta
red at me for a moment before lifting his hands and letting them fall again, helplessly. Sighing heavily, he continued on, and as much as I didn’t want to hear it, I couldn’t bring myself to walk away.
“I got pretty plastered that night. When I woke up in the morning, I was in bed with some girl who slightly resembled you. I’m sure that was how I ended up hooking up with her in the first place. I’d been missing you so badly.”
I hated that girl, whoever she was. She’d stolen my future from me, and I’d hate her for the rest of my life.
He stared at me apologetically. “After that, I was too damn chicken to face you again. I figured you were lost to me forever, and you’d never forgive me. Judging from your reaction to what you saw, I think I pinned my guess correctly.”
“You didn’t even try, Zane!” I snapped, all my anger coming to the surface. “You never even gave me the opportunity to see if we could work it out!”
“Neither did you,” he responded, and the realization struck me hard. Had I been standing, I would’ve staggered with the blow.
I needed to get out of here before I lost it right in front of him. “You’re right. I guess it wasn’t meant to be then, was it?” Woodenly, I moved to the scattered papers on the floor and began gathering them. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure to have Angie in staffing assign you a new nurse. You won’t have to deal with me again and you can get back to your life as soon as you leave here. I won’t give you any interference.”
“No!” The word was spoken so forcefully that it caused me to pause and look up at him. He was crazy if he thought I was sticking around. “You don’t understand. I came here because you were here. You were assigned to me because I asked for you.”
How had he even known I worked here? Had he been keeping tabs on me, and if he had, why not come forward sooner? “Why? Why would you do something like that? It’s totally against the rules for me to treat you. It’s unethical.” I stood, determined to leave.
Moving swiftly, he grabbed me by the shoulders tightly, his eyes blazing. “I need you, Aubrey. I’m messed up. I know you probably hate me and I’ve fucked up in the worst way possible when it comes to you, but I’m just asking you to give me the benefit of the doubt. Can you just hear me out?”