'Has your brain gone to chew grass, Jagannath? Arrey, Muslims are 18 per cent of the population. Christians are less than one per cent.'
'But you should see quality, not quantity. I feel happy from inside whenever I meet Christian people. They are so charming.'
'You do what you want. Just don't interfere in party matters. It was the High Command's biggest mistake to put you in charge of local elections.'
'Don't blame me. If voters didn't vote then it is partly because of you. You are the Chief Minister, after all. Moreover, you never gave me a free hand. If your sidekicks were not countermanding half my decisions, I would have worked wonders.'
'No point talking to you, Jagannath.'
(Disconnect.)
*
'Hello. This is Seema Bisht from Mashaal channel. Can I speak to Jagannathji?'
'Let me check.'
Beep. Beep. Beep.
'Hello, Seema. Didn't Alok give you my mobile number?'
'He did, but I thought I shouldn't call you on your mobile before I'd even met you face-to-face.'
'Then let's meet face-to-face.'
'Yes, we will. I also wanted your reaction to the death of MLA Lakhan Thakur.'
'What? Lakhan Thakur is dead?'
'Yes. It is breaking news on our channel. He was shot dead half an hour ago as he was leaving his house.'
'This is most shocking! Have any arrests been made?'
'No, but the Director General of Police B.P. Maurya has made a statement that the timber mafia appears to be behind the murder. So can we meet?'
'Yes, absolutely. I have a very nice guesthouse in Gomti Nagar. Can you come there tonight, let's say at about ten?'
'Won't that be rather late?'
'It will be a dinner meeting. We have much to talk about.'
'OK, I'll see you there.'
'See you. '
*
Beep. Beep. Beep.
'Bhaiyyaji, Prem Kalra wants to speak to you.
'Who?'
'Prem Kalra. The editor of the Daily News.'
'Oh, that swine? OK, put him on.'
Beep. Beep. Beep.
'Hello, Prem. You have remembered me after a long time.'
'I will not take much of your time, Home Minister Sahib. I just wanted to get your comment on the death of Rukhsana Afsar.'
'Yes, it is very sad. She was a loyal party worker.'
'Why do you think she committed suicide?'
'How would I know? You should ask the police.'
'Do you know that she has left behind a suicide note?' (Pause.)
'What does the note say?'
'It says, "Darling Jagannath" and then it has a couplet from Ghalib. A rather good one:
'Hum ne maanaa ke tagaaful na karoge lekin
Khaak ho jaayenge ham tumko khabar hone tak.
I do agree that you won't delay,
But I will die by the time you arrive.'
'A very fine couplet indeed. But what has that got to do with me?'
'It is said that you were having an affair with her and then dumped her.'
'Lies. All lies. I hardly knew her.'
'She has been seen in your company on many occasions.'
'I am a public person. And you know in public life one meets many people, including women. Doesn't mean that I have affairs with all of them. I am a happily married man.'
'There is also a tape.'
(Longer pause.)
'What kind of tape?'
'An audio tape.'
'And what is there on this tape?'
'Plenty. It has you talking to her, quoting some rather nice Ghalib couplets. I especially like the part where you tell her your opinion of the Chief Minister.'
'How did you get this tape?'
'It was mailed to me by Rukhsana just before her death. She must have taped you when you were in her bedroom.'
'Do the police know about this tape?'
'No. It is in my custody. Do you want me to play a few snippets?'
(Pause.)
'Well, Home Minister Sahib?'
'What do you want, Prem?'
'The truth.'
(Laughs.) 'That is the first causality of journalism. Every man has his price. Name yours.'
(Pause.)
'Twenty lakhs in cash and one year of government advertisements for my paper. No bargaining.'
'I can do the first, not the second. You need to talk to the Information Minister for the advertisements.'
'Then it will cost you thirty lakhs.'
'Twenty-five.'
'We have a deal.'
*
'Mukhtar?'
'Yes, Boss?'
'An arms consignment has to be picked up from Nepal.'
'Might be tricky, Boss. The border is very heavily policed these days. We don't want the consignment to be intercepted, do we?'
'No problem. Use one of my official cars. The one with the blue beacon. Bring the consignment over the border and take it straight to our godown.'
'That will be perfect, Boss. No one will dare intercept the Home Minister's car.'
*
'Hello. This is Seema.'
'Hello, jaaneman. Where have you been? I haven't seen you for a week.'
'I was busy. Had to cover the Awadh Festival. And also the stage show, the biggest ever in Lucknow. The reigning queen of Bollywood was there.'
'Arrey, why do you run after these film stars? They have no respect. They are ready to dance like hired eunuchs at a wedding for money.'
'But still half of Lucknow was there to see the performance. I think Shabnam really stole the show.'
'Who is this Shabnam?'
'Shabnam Saxena. She is the hottest actress in India at present.'
'I don't know these new heroines at all. The last film I saw was Mother India. What acting Nargis did!'
'You don't know the names of the heroines, but your son is now a big producer.'
'Yes, Vicky fancies that line. I keep miles away from it. And for me, you are better than any film star.'
'Now don't butter me up. Tell me, have you done my work?'
'What work?'
'The liquor contract for my uncle in Phaphamau?'
'Yes, yes, consider it done. But you know it has cost me a packet.'
'How?'
'The liquor tender for Phaphamau is traditionally taken by my man Shakeel. I had to tell him not to bid this time to accommodate your uncle. I will now have to compensate him in other ways.'
'And I will compensate you in bed.'
'Yes, you'd better.'
(Laughter.)
*
'Can I speak to Home Minister Jagannath Rai?'
'Speaking. Who is this?'
'This is Superintendent of Police Navneet Brar, Sir. I am calling from Bahraich.'
'Oh, Navneet. How are you? I hope this stint in Bahraich has drilled some sense into your head. So are you calling to apologize for your past mistake?'
'No, Sir. I am calling to inform you that I have just seized your official vehicle. It was returning from Nepal when it was stopped at a checkpoint in my area and discovered to contain a cache of AK-47 rifles. Your driver somehow managed to escape, but I have confiscated the entire consignment and I am in the process of having an arrest warrant issued against you for aiding and abetting a criminal activity.'
'What? You are daring to arrest the Home Minister?'
'I will be arresting a known criminal who has blatantly misused his official position.'
'Navneet, do you know the consequences of tangling with someone like me? Do not be under the illusion that just because you wear a uniform, you are protected. I can have you squished like a fly within minutes.'
'What will you do? Tell that spineless Director General of Police Maurya to transfer me again? Well, that won't work this time because I have spoken directly to the Chief Minister and he has personally given me authorization to proceed against you. Fortunately, there are still a few principled politicians in our State.'
'Then you do what you want to do. And I will do what I have to do.'
(Disconnect.)
*
'Dad?'
'Yes, Vicky?'
'There is just one week left until 15 February. D-Day.'
'Why are you getting so worked up? I got the verdict fixed back in November.'
'I heard that some additional demands have been made.'
'That is part of the game. A lion has to feed the vultures.'
'So I can sleep easy?'
'You can. I wish I could say the same for me.'
'Why? What's been bugging you?'
'A crazy police officer has spoiled my sleep. He had the temerity to issue an arrest warrant against me. It took me two days to convince the Chief Minister that having the Home Minister of the State arrested would not be good for the party's image.'
'You need to do something about this Chief Minister, Dad.'
'I will. But first I have to do something about that police officer. I have put Mukhtar on the job.'
*
'Jagannath?'
'Yes, Chief Minister Sahib.'
'The death of Navneet Brar in the landmine blast has come as a great shock to me.'
'To me as well, Chief Minister Sahib. He was one of our most capable police officers. All his life Brar bravely fought the terrorists, but they ambushed him in the end.'
'Tell me, Jagannath, did you have anything to do with his death?'
'What are you saying? Everyone knows he was killed by the Naxalites operating on the India–Nepal border.'
'But you had a run-in with Brar recently. He impounded your car and was planning to have you arrested.'
'I never took it personally, Chief Minister Sahib. Don't forget, it was I who got Brar posted to Bahraich in the first place. And it wasn't really my car. The arms-smugglers were using fake number plates and an unauthorized beacon. Brar simply did his duty in intercepting the car. That is why I think it would be a very good gesture if we were to give him some posthumous honours.'
'What did you have in mind?'
'Recommendation for the President's Police Medal for Gallantry. An ex-gratia payment of twenty lakhs to the family and a Class One job for his widow.'
'I agree. By the way, are you going to Delhi tomorrow to be present at the verdict in your son's case?'
'No, I will be attending Brar's funeral in Lucknow. That is the least I can do as Home Minister.'
'I must say, that's very decent of you, Jagannath. Best of luck.'
'Thank you, Chief Minister Sahib.'
*
'Dad?'
'Yes, Vicky?'
'Just wanted to say thank you. The acquittal has lifted a massive weight off my mind. There was a time when I actually feared I might be going to jail.'
'Don't thank me, thank Guruji. All this is the result of his blessings. Ever since he asked me to wear blue sapphire, one miracle after another has happened. All my rivals have bitten the dust. He has recently returned from his world tour. I am going to thank him personally.'
'And I am going to party! The acquittal has to be celebrated. It will be the biggest bash of my life. I have consulted an astrologer and he says the most auspicious date will be 23 March. I will do it at Number Six. You have to come, promise?'
'It is not a good idea, Vicky. There is still too much heat on the case. Let the public outcry die down, then we will see.'
'I am not worried. The judge has given me a clean chit and no amount of chest-beating is going to change that. So put the day in your diary: 23 March. And I promise you, Dad, no one will get shot at this party. (Laughs.) OK, I gotta run now. Bye.'
'Bye.'
*
'I am calling from the Chief Minister's office. Chief Minister Sahib needs to speak to the Home Minister.'
'So is your boss also calling to congratulate Bhaiyyaji? He is three days late.'
'How would I know? Just put him on.'
'Why are you always in such a sour mood? I am putting you through to Bhaiyyaji.'
Beep. Beep. Beep.
'Namaskar, Chief Minister Sahib.'
'Have you seen the reaction to Vicky's acquittal, Jagannath?'
'Yes. But you know these media people, they are never happy. They only want to present the negative picture. Anyway, they may write whatever they want, it is not going to reverse the verdict. Vicky has been acquitted of the murder charge and that is what counts.'
'But what about public opinion, Jagannath?'
'I don't care about public opinion. I never have.'
'But I do. The party does. The whole country is in uproar, Jagannath. Candlelight vigils are being held from Amritsar to Alleppey in protest at Vicky's acquittal. Protest marches are being organized in eighteen States by NGOs. Lucknow University students are threatening to immolate themselves. Trade unions have called for an indefinite strike. The TV channels have only one story. Magazines are organizing text-messaging campaigns. Even the Daily News has established a Ruby Gill Fund to raise money for the victim's family. No case in India's history has attracted the kind of attention this one has. The judgment has been condemned by one and all. There is even talk of a re-trial. All this has placed us in an untenable position.'
'So what can I do? Should a father disown his own son?'
'Well, when the son is a black sheep, the father has to make some hard choices.'
'I cannot believe that we are having this conversation. My son has been acquitted, not convicted.'
'Doesn't matter. He has lost the battle of public opinion. And for a politician, eventually what matters is public opinion.'
'But Chief Minister Sahib, the media is mad. You know how they trivialize things. They don't show fifty miners trapped inside a coal mine, but all channels will immediately start covering some cat trapped in a well.'
'Yes, I know. But this only goes to show the power of the media. They dictate what we watch, when we watch. They are the ones who make and break public opinion. We will not be able to withstand the public outcry on this issue. It will sweep us out of power unless we do something now.'
'So what do you want me to do?'
'The High Command has taken its decision. You have to choose between Vicky and your Home Ministership. I want your resignation on my desk by tomorrow afternoon. If you prefer, we can say that you resigned on health grounds.'
'Your health may be bad, not mine. I am a fighter. And I will not take this lying down. Let me spell it out for you clearly: if you dismiss me, by tomorrow afternoon your coalition government will be gone.'
(Laughs.) 'You may be a mafia don, Jagannath, but in politics you are a novice. Give in gracefully and you might live to fight another day. In politics, everyone makes a comeback. But if you go against the High Command's dictate, not only will it end your political career, it might force us to end your criminal career as well.'
'Use these threats on the eunuchs in your Cabinet, Chief Minister Sahib. There is no one man enough in the State to challenge me.'
'You are compelling me to dismiss you.'
'And you are compelling me to become a rebel.'
'Fine. Then the battle lines are drawn. Let us see who prevails.'
'Yes, let us see.'
(Disconnect.)
*
'Hello?'
'Pranam, Guruji.'
'Jai Shambhu.'
'When are you returning from Allahabad to Mathura?'
'As soon as the Magh Mela ends. Why?'
'Guruji, I need your blessings.'
'What for?'
'For the greatest battle of my life.'
'I thought you had already won that. Vicky has been acquitted. My coral ring proved to be very potent.'
'Despite that, the Chief Minister is intent on dismissing me. So I have decided to enter the arena. It will be a fight to the finish. Either he will remain standing or I will.'
'You have my blessings, Jagannath. I have recently seen the Chief Minister's horoscope. His stars are in decline and yours a
re on the way up.'
'Thank you, Guruji. With you on my side, I can take on anyone, even the Chief Minister.'
'Jai Shambhu, Jagannath. May victory be yours!'
'Jai Shambhu, Guruji.'
*
'Hello, Tripurari. Are you still in Hardoi?'
'Yes, but this is called telepathy, Bhaiyyaji. I was just about to call you to congratulate you on your performance in the Assembly today. The attack on the Chief Minister was marvellous. So subtle. This is called killing with kindness.'
'Now the gloves are off, Tripurari. He wants to dismiss me as Home Minister. Says the High Command is worried about the negative publicity regarding Vicky's acquittal.'
'How dare he? We will dismantle his government brick by brick if he so much as thinks about dismissing you.'
'That is what I need your help for. If by tomorrow I am no longer Home Minister, then by the end of the week the Chief Minister should also lose his chair. We need to plot his downfall. How many MLAs do you think will be willing to come with me?'
'Let's do the arithmetic, Bhaiyyaji. To bring down the government, we need to engineer the defection of only fifteen legislators. We already have a solid bloc of twenty MLAs, all of whom are your followers. We can cut off the Chief Minister's power faster than the State Electricity Corporation's next blackout.'
'It is not that simple, Tripurari. I am playing for very high stakes. It is no longer a question of simply bringing down the Chief Minister. I want to really rub his nose in the dust now. So I have decided to stake my own claim for the post.'
'You mean Chief Minister?'
'Why do you think I have spent fifty-five years of my life in this hell hole? With the money I have I could have gone to Delhi or Mumbai or even America. I stayed behind because I have always wanted the ultimate prize – the Chief Ministership.'
(Pause.)
'Then you are playing for very high stakes indeed, Bhaiyyaji.'
'Yes. I have been thinking, who remembers the bloody Home Minister of a State? Ten years from now people will not even know that I was once part of this government. But even in twenty years people will remember who the Chief Minister was. It is like becoming a part of history. And history is never forgotten. Look at Jagdambika Pal. In 1998, he became Chief Minister only for a day, but his name has been entered in the history books for all time to come. I too want that glory. Imagine, a hundred years from now, the history books of the State will still record my name as Chief Minister. Isn't that something worth fighting for?'