I wondered why Anna wasn’t here today. I know she isn’t comfortable with Jase around the ladies, not after their past. He hasn’t given her any reason to doubt him since they became a couple, having Sophia has soothed her insecurities but not completely, hence, she wouldn’t be happy today.
“When does this party finish?” I asked, already regretting coming in the first place.
“What? You’ve only just got here,” he laughed.
“I didn’t realise there would be so many kids about”
“It’s a kid’s party, what did you expect?”
“Not so many of them” I stated, “I’ll catch you later” I told him, grabbing a bottle of beer on the way back out to the garden.
There were just as many kids out here as there were indoors. How can a one-year-old girl know so many people?
Alex was still flipping burgers, Ava was filling plates up of food with Nat, my mum and Henry were sat in the corner of the garden so I went to join them before I got roped into helping in some way.
Another ten footsteps and I would have made it before Megan stepped in front of me.
“You’re really going to ignore me? I thought we left on good terms?” she asked raising an eyebrow.
“We did, I didn’t know you were here,” I said lamely.
“Really? So I didn’t see you look at me when you passed and ignore me?”
“Okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to say” I admitted, “How have you been?” I asked taking a seat at an empty table in the corner of the garden.
“I’ve been well, thanks, you?”
“Busy” I smiled.
I know she has responsibilities, yet she was completely carefree in the way she spoke and with everything about her really.
Before I knew it we had been talking for a while and it was now time to sing happy birthday to Jasmine-Lily. The rest of the afternoon was a success, soon people started to leave, I would quite happily leave, it was nice spending time with Megan but the headache all the children caused was horrid, unfortunately Ava had offered to help clean up so I was stuck here. Before Megan left, I quietly asked if she would like to go for another drink, I liked talking with her.
Jasmine-Lily was asleep in Alex’s arms when I joined him out of the way of being asked to help too.
“She’s worn out bless her” he said.
“I’m not surprised all that running about”
“Aren’t you angry that you missed out on doing all this for Ava?” he asked.
I hadn’t thought about it, there was so much I had missed out on while she was growing up, I didn’t stop and think in detail about each milestone.
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly, “I haven’t given it much thought, I can’t imagine being a dad back then, it still feels weird I am now”
“You’re lucky she had a decent upbringing, and had a good family looking after her”
“I know,” I said, turning to look at him.
I don’t know where all this was coming from today, but seeing the way he looked down at Jasmine-Lily he probably couldn’t understand not being there for her, which I could understand.
Jas doesn’t want me to be angry with her for keeping Ava a secret, to a point I’m not, but when situations like this arise, I do feel angry that I was never given the chance to be a dad from the beginning.
I understand why Jas did what she did, I just wish she would have trusted me to do the right thing.
Chapter Seven
“To be honest I was surprised you wanted to do this again” she said as she got in the car.
I was surprised too, it wasn’t only because Nat and Ava kept on at me to call her, I wanted too.
“I enjoyed myself last time”
It wasn’t much of an explanation but I didn’t know what else to say.
“Me too, so, what are we doing tonight?” she asked.
“I thought we could get something to eat, I know a nice place”
“Great” she smiled.
The night was going smoothly, there weren’t any awkward silences, and the conversation never ran dry. She was funny, I could banter with her and we both seemed to understand each other’s humour.
She had only been in one serious relationship, like me, and like me she had loved intensely and wasn’t the one to end the relationship. She told me how she has been on a few dates but cuts them short if she doesn’t feel they are going anywhere because of her son. She doesn’t want any negative energy around him. Each time I found something out about her, I liked who she was even more.
“So, I have told you a lot about me, how about you?” she said.
“What do you want to know?” I asked.
“Why don’t you tell me about Jasmine?”
I was taken aback, I wasn’t expecting to be asked about my wife whilst on a date.
“You don’t have to hide her, I understand how it is, there is no point in pretending we haven’t been in love and had lives”
“Okay, we knew each other when we were teenagers, when she turned seventeen she disappeared, nobody knew where she went or why she left”
I didn’t mind talking about her to Megan but she didn’t need to know all the details and I wasn’t going to tell her part of the reason she left.
“Then after nearly thirteen years we met again, she didn’t recognise me at first but a couple of days later we saw each other again, after one weekend together she changed my life” I tried to explain in as little detail as possible.
“I must admit, Nat has told me a little about it” she admitted then let me carry on.
“Until she told me the truth about her illness our relationship was very much up and down, she was completely different to how she was when she was younger, it turned out I was working on her house the whole time and I never knew. We got married a month before…she died, that is about it really”
“How long were you together?”
“Only for five months”
“Such a short amount of time, life isn’t fair, is it?”
“It certainly isn’t, but I wouldn’t change anything, well, apart from the ending,” I admitted.
“As you got in contact with me this time, does it mean you are ready to move on?”
“Before she died she told me she wanted me to be happy, I’m ready to move on, starting with getting to know you, if you don’t mind?” I said hoping my words were true.
“I would like that very much, your kind of the first guy I have wanted to see again,” she admitted with a slight blush.
“Why don’t we agree to take things slow and see where it goes?” I suggested.
Megan hadn’t suffered the heartbreak I had but she had suffered in her own way, from what I understood about her is that she doesn’t want to rush anything, which is good for the both us.
“Sounds good,” she agreed.
We finished our drinks and walked back to the car, I jumped when she held my hand. When she went to pull her hand away in embarrassment I held onto it harder. From the apologising look I gave her I knew she understood. As I was driving her home, the atmosphere felt different, I felt different. I pulled up out front of her house and cut the engine.
She took hold of my hand again, her hands were soft and delicate. For once I wanted another woman’s touch, I wanted Megan’s touch. She knew about my past and understood my need for patience. For once, I didn’t compare her to Jas, I was in the moment with no guilt, only need.
My natural instinct was to take her here in the car, instead, I leaned in towards her, supporting her head with my free hand and pulled her into me. Her lips were just as soft as her hands and she was kissing me back. The way she flicked her tongue against mine was killing me, the more we kissed, the more I had to have her. From the way she was trying to get closer to me, I knew she felt the same.
“Would you like to stay?” she asked breathlessly.
“Yes”
Before either of us could say another word, we were both out of the car and
she was unlocking the front door.
Her home was in complete darkness and I didn’t see the toy truck that was left lying on the floor, luckily I had my boots on otherwise it would have been painful. It did remind me she had a son.
“Where is your son?” I asked, as she turned and wrapped her arms around my neck.
“At his dads”
She took the lead and led me up to her room, I didn’t only have the lust and the normal horny emotions, it was strange, I realised I genuinely liked Megan.
I woke suddenly, I could smell women’s perfume, I knew I wasn’t dreaming and there was certainly a woman lying beside me, and from the skin on skin contact I felt, she wasn’t wearing a lot. Within seconds last night came back to me, I had stayed at Megan’s.
I didn’t move a muscle, fearing I would wake her, I wasn’t ready for the next morning chatter just yet.
I couldn’t stop myself, my first thought was of Jasmine. It was stupid, I had every right to move on, to find happiness where I can. But, like always, she was always close by in my head.
It wasn’t fair to Megan to see me like this, I gently rolled out of her bed and crept from her bedroom, careful not to wake her as I retrieved my clothes. I could breathe a lot easier once I was out on the landing. I felt terrible for leaving before she woke up but I had to get out of here. I found some paper and a pen and left her a note saying I had to get back for Ava and that I would call her later. I meant it too, maybe I should text her in a couple of hours just to show her I am not like the other men she has dated, like the man I used to be.
Ava was staying at Nat’s last night so I was positive she wouldn’t be here. I wasn’t worried about the early hour, my mum has always been an early riser. I walked around to the back of the house to the kitchen where I knew she spent most of her time, especially in the mornings. I prayed Henry wasn’t around, he keeps telling me to move on, but it would still be awkward, and I can’t be dealing with any awkwardness this morning.
My preys were not answered, both Henry and my mum were sitting at the table drinking coffee. My mum jumped up when she saw me and immediately looked worried. Surely I don’t give her that much grief she has to worry when I show up unannounced.
“What are you doing here so early?” she asked, checking me over for any signs of physical harm.
“I’m fine mum, I need to talk to you, can you give us a few minutes please Henry?”
He frowned when I asked but he left taking his coffee with him.
“What’s going on Chris?” she asked, as I pulled out a chair and slumped down.
“Something happened last night that has changed everything,” I murmured.
I didn’t want to specifically speak with my mother about this, but she is the only one I can talk to comfortably.
“With Megan?” she asked.
I should have known Natalie or Ava would have told her about my second date.
“Yes, we had a good time, we get along really well and neither of us want to rush into anything”
“That sounds like a good thing” she commented.
“It is”
“So, what is the problem?” she asked confused.
I couldn’t help confusing her, I was confused myself.
“I…like her, really, like her” I admitted for the first time out loud.
“I see, and you automatically feel guilty because you feel like you are betraying Jas?”
“Not exactly”
“Then you are scared. This Megan is the first woman you have took a liking to since Jasmine, it was never going to be easy but you must really like her enough to get you acting like this” she said.
I didn’t know what to say, I do like Megan and I do want to see her again.
“Stop over thinking it, you can’t compare this woman to Jas. Nothing can take away what you shared but if you can’t get over this then you will be alone for all days, and I don’t want that for you” she said, squeezing my hand.
“I do know this, I guess I just wanted to hear it from you” I said.
“Aw, it doesn’t matter how old you get, you will always need me boy” she laughed.
“Alright, I’m leaving.” I said standing up, “I’ll pick Ava up on the way home”
“Chris, don’t think too much, life has a way of choosing for you sometimes, relax and enjoy your-self,” she said before I closed the door.
“Thanks mum”
Chapter Eight
Ava
“Hang on a minute” my dad said in shock.
I had just informed him I have invited Lizzie to his birthday meal. He said he didn’t want any fuss this year but he relented when Fiona kindly reminded him it was his first birthday with me in his life. He did not look happy now.
“Please, she is lonely, that is why she spends so much time in the pubs” I pleaded.
“I’m not sure Ava”
“Just this once, she has promised she won’t drink and she was sober when I met up with her the other day.”
“Fine”
He said it was fine but he still wasn’t happy about it, I was learning quickly that he could never refuse me what I wanted.
My grandmother wasn’t the only one I planned on inviting, if my father wanted me to stay here, I wanted to make friends. Each day that passed I was more comfortable with my biological family. Everyone has been so kind, I couldn’t have imagined a better welcoming.
I got the impression the other day that my dad didn’t like Jack talking to me. I plan on changing that too, I don’t want him telling me whom I can and can’t see. I have looked out for myself for too long, and I haven’t done too badly.
I was sitting on the decking in the back garden waiting for Jack to pass. I began running different scenarios through my mind of how I was going to ask him. I was pretty sure he would accept, he was very keen to show me around the city the other week.
It wasn’t long before he passed. He was very good looking, his dark hair was cut short which left his facial features wide open. He had deep dark eyes surrounded by his tanned skin. I was partly put off asking him when he walked straight past me, I know he saw me. How can he go from showing an interest in me to ignoring me?
“Hi”
“Hey Ava” he replied, still not meeting my eyes.
He carried on walking, he was doing his best to not stop and talk to me.
“Have I done something I’m not aware of?”
“Of course not, I’m just busy”
“Well, this will only take a minute, if you just stop” I said, moving in front of him, blocking his way. When I had his attention I spoke again.
“You seemed interested the other week so I wondered if you would like to do something one night?”
As soon as I asked I regretted it. My offer obviously disgusted him by the pained expression on his face.
I turned to walk away, the humiliation was unbelievably unbearable. I have never felt anything like it. I took no more than five footsteps before he caught me up and blocked my way.
“I would like nothing more than to see you away from this place, I thought you were busy. I have heard what has been going on,” he explained.
“It’s my fathers’ birthday meal tonight, how about you come as my guest, he won’t mind?” I asked accepting his explanation.
“I think he will,” he muttered so quietly I barely heard him.
“Let’s find out, unless he scares you?” I challenged.
“Okay, should be fun” he said, although he didn’t believe his words.
I walked away thinking it could have gone smoother but a victory regardless.
I thought I wouldn’t know what to get for a present for my dad, wow, it felt surreal calling him that. I had yet to say it to his face but to other people and in my thoughts it felt natural. In the end I had some of my baby photographs and some of when I was a toddler sent to me from my aunt in London. I bought a new photo album and filled it with photographs of me, I thought it would be nice for him so he had
a broad range of photographs showing everything he missed out on. I could see where some of my habits came from within him, like his ears turn red when he is tired, like mine. I also noticed he had a birthmark just below his elbow in the exact same place as mine. I did notice he had a protective side to him, which could get very annoying, especially if he feels the need to act his father role to the extreme like the other day with Jack.
I’m excited about tonight, the family is coming and Jase and his girlfriend Anna who I have yet to meet. I have enjoyed myself each time we have all been together. I spent the rest of the day choosing what to wear and wrapping his gift. He already left when I woke this morning but he left me a note saying he would be back this evening and that everyone was arriving at six pm.
I opted for a soft yellow summer dress paired with my wedges and tied my hair into a simple ponytail.
Fiona showed up around five pm carrying shopping bags, I helped her and took a couple of bags from her, receiving a thank you smile.
“You look lovely Ava” She complimented me.
“Thank you, I thought I should make an effort”
“He is looking forward to tonight with you here. This is the first birthday since your mother passed he has let us celebrate,” she told me.
“I figured that was the case, he hasn’t really done much for himself since she died has he?”
“Not really, he built up Collins Construction and never stopped working, something your mother did well before she met your dad again”
“Did he tell you I invited Lizzie?” I asked.
“Yes, I got to admit, I didn’t think he would agree to it. He was repulsed by the way she treated Jasmine, be warned he won’t tolerate her behaviour like that towards you”
“I know she will be on her best behaviour. I also invited Jack” she looked confused, “He works here, I haven’t told dad yet, I hope it won’t spoil things”
Hopefully I can get her on side in case he isn’t happy about my guest choice.
“I’m sure it won’t”
I couldn’t see her face so I couldn’t judge if she meant it or not. I wasn’t going to let it ruin my night. I had been out with a couple of boys when I was at school but there was something different about Jack. I wanted to get to know him.