“I take it you know now,” she said, not looking at me.
“I found out last night, why didn’t you tell me?” I said, emphasising the word ‘you’.
“Because I’m embarrassed, I’m angry, I’m…” she couldn’t finish, she broke down in tears.
“Hey, don’t cry over him, you’re better than this” I told her.
“Why did he do this to me, to us?” she asked desperately.
I knew the answer, he said it was because he was bored, how the hell could I tell her that? I couldn’t and I wouldn’t, she did not deserve to hear that.
“I don’t know” I lied.
“He stayed at your last night, did he say anything to you about it?”
“He didn’t stay in the end”
“He went to her?” she asked, her voice dripped with acid.
“No…no, mum and Henry took him back to theirs”
“Okay, tell me what’s going on? I saw them leave without you two” she said, her world may have shattered around her, but she was still on the ball.
I couldn’t hide what happened from her, she was bound to hear from someone else, so I told her the truth.
“He done this to you” she asked, pointing to the cuts and bruises.
“Yes, but he looks the same as I”
“I can’t say he doesn’t deserve it, but you shouldn’t be fighting with your brother for me”
“In the beginning it was about you, by the end it was about everything” I said, not knowing what to make of it still.
“He has no right to act like this!” she said, barely containing her anger towards him.
“How is Jack and Jasmine-Lily taking this?” I asked, trying to sway her focus onto them rather than my selfish brother.
“Jack is angry and Jasmine-Lily is pretending nothing has changed. They haven’t seen us argue over the years, this is just as much of a shock to them as it is me. I sent them to school this morning, much to their protests. I don’t want their lives affected too much, I’m going to keep it as normal as possible for them”
“You should get dressed then, I don’t remember a time you slobbed on the sofa and neither will they. I know he has hurt you, but if you want to keep things normal for them then lying about the place drinking wine isn’t going to achieve that is it?”
“I just don’t know what to do, I have been with him for so long, I have forgotten what it’s like to be on my own,” she admitted.
“Just be yourself, and look after my niece and nephew. That is all you have to do”
“I hate him for this”
“I know. Look, I have to go, if you need anything call me. Rose is around right?” I asked, still not having seen her.
“Yeah somewhere. I suppose I should tell you now she has decided to retire next week”
“When did she tell you this?” I stammered in shock.
“She told me last week, I forgot about it when all this crap with Alex came out. She doesn’t want a fuss, so I was thinking I could cook for us all, we could have a nice family meal here?”
“Sounds like something to keep you busy” I smiled lightly.
“Yeah, I don’t know what I am going to do without her” she murmured, looking around her home. It was kept immaculately at all times, I know Nat helps Rose, it won’t be too difficult for her.
“Trust me, you will be fine” I assured her.
“Go on, get to work, I’ll be okay” she assured me this time.
I waited until she got up and started clearing the bedding away before I left. Seeing how hurt she really is, I hoped for my brother’s sake he did not try to come into work this morning.
Chapter Twelve
I ploughed into work and took my own advice I gave Nat and kept myself busy. If I weren’t working or sleeping then I was pleasing Ava with wedding plans, like her mother, she knew exactly what e wanted for the wedding and didn’t waste time about it. I told her I would pay for the whole day, of course they both refused but I didn’t give up. As I’m father of the bride it is my duty.
I still hadn’t spoken or seen Alex, I heard through our mother that he was still staying at hers, and that he felt bad for what happened. I wasn’t going to entertain him until he apologised himself and began trying to make it up to Nat and their children. Nat hadn’t calmed down over the past few days either, if anything she had worked herself up even more, each day I would pop by or call her to make sure her and the kids were okay. Each day, she was busy cleaning, rendering Rose jobless, her words were she had to get used to doing everything so she would start now.
Rose had tried to speak to her and see if she wants her to stay on for a while longer, but she is adamant she will be fine. Rose deserves to retire, enjoy herself for once, not look after other people, but I do worry how Nat will cope on her own.
Work is crazy at the moment, I have been doing twice as much since my fight with Alex as he hasn’t been to work since. So when I saw his car pull up near the office, it didn’t help my already growing bad mood.
“You have got a nerve showing up here,” I said, not bothering to look up when he stood in the doorway.
“We need to sort this out,” he said.
I raised my head to see him for the first time since our fight a week ago. Neither of us have made contact until now, and truth be told, I have missed him.
“You need to sort this out with your wife” I said bluntly.
He pulled his chair across the office and sat in front of me.
“I have tried, she won’t see me or speak to me when I call her. I am doing everything I can do to fix this,” he said.
He sounded a lot more genuine then he did last week.
“It isn’t just about you and Nat, what you said about Jas, that is a lot of built up resentment you have towards me”
The man sitting before me was the brother I recognised, his body language and composure was the Alex I was used to.
“Is that how you really feel?”
“I was so angry that night, I was trying to hurt you because I was hurting. I knew you would react like that, but I still hoped you would say it would all be okay,” he admitted, dejectedly.
“Nat is like a sister to me, of course I wasn’t going to be okay about it,” I told him.
“How is she?”
I shouldn’t get involved, but at the end of the day he is my brother.
“She is cleaning like a mad woman, she says she is fine, but she looks tired, and she hasn’t been to work all week” I told him truthfully.
I wasn’t going to hide her pain just so he could feel better about himself. As I thought, he had no words.
“So, what is going on between you and Jane?”
“Nothing, after it was all out in the open and our fight I felt sick. I want Nat, I know that much. I need to see her, Jane is in the past,” he said full of pain, begging almost. From the tone of his voice I knew where he was going with this, and I didn’t like it. If he wanted to speak to her, he would have to wait until she was ready, I will not be his go between.
“No” I said firmly, “Just give her some time, you guys have been together a long time, you have hurt her in the worst way possible, just let her come to terms with what you have done” I said, trying to evade doing his dirty work.
“Your right, I miss her, it’s took me this to see just how much” he said solemnly, “And I want you to know how sorry I am for what I said to you, hope I didn’t do too much damage” he tried to joke.
And just like that, I knew we would eventually be okay again.
“You never have before, this time is no different,” I laughed.
“Piss off, I’m still feeling your right hook,” he moaned, touching his eye tenderly.
Neither of our injuries had healed completely, I too was still feeling the effects a week later.
“That brother is because we are getting too old to be fighting” I said.
“I definitely agree, so, were all good?” he asked.
“We will b
e” I said, “Just keep your dick in your pants if you want your wife to take you back” I finished.
“I’ll get her back, which means I’m not going to rush into buying a new house just yet, I don’t suppose I can stay at your place, mum and Henry are becoming unbearable.”
“Sure, just watch out for Ava, for obvious reasons your on her shit list” I warned him.
He blanched, I didn’t expect him to stay and work, so I wasn’t surprised when he left.
With Alex not here, work kept me busy late into the early evening. I didn’t like the reason behind Alex staying at mine, but I was glad of the company. My mum had called just before I left the office to make sure we were okay, apparently Alex hadn’t wasted a moment getting his things and taking them to mine after our conversation. Staying late to finish paperwork meant the drive home was a clear run, free from traffic. The sky was a blaze of red and oranges like it was on fire, mixed with a big black cloud in the distance. I made it home as big droplets of rain began to fall. Alex was watching the telly, already making himself at home with a beer in his hand. He had a few bottles on the coffee table, saving time walking to from the fridge I presume.
“Made yourself at home already” I said, taking a beer and falling into the chair. The more I worked, the more tired I felt yet when I wanted to sleep, it was a mission.
“I spoke to Nat after I saw you” he said, choosing to ignore my jibe.
“By your presence here I assume it wasn’t to ask you to go home?”
“No” he sighed, “She invited me to Rose’s farewell meal. It’s a start though, right?”
“Could be, but it could be that she is being nice for Rose’s sake”
I wasn’t going to sugar coat it for him, he deserved her silence.
“I think it is a start,” he said more to himself, “You look tired,” he stated looking at me.
“That’s because I have been doing both our jobs for over a week” I laughed.
“I wasn’t sure you wanted me back”
“You done well to stay away the day after our fight but you’re my brother, I need you back, plus I hate the paperwork”
“I’ll be back tomorrow,” he said, reaching for another beer.
“Good”
I sat watching the football with him for a while before I admitted defeat and went to bed.
The more I thought about it, the more I began to dread tomorrow night. Alex and Nat in the same room was bound to be awkward, mixed with having to say good-bye to Rose, definitely nothing to look forward to.
I had enough of everyone else’s problems for one day, for the first time in a long time I played my wedding DVD and got into bed.
Facing away from the screen deliberately, I lay there listening to her voice, I blocked out the memories of her loss of hearing at that point of the day and fell asleep to the sound of her laugh, the most beautiful sound in the world.
Tonight we are all going for dinner at Nat’s for Rose’s farewell meal. She hasn’t had any contact with Alex apart from to invite him tonight, he is only allowed in the house for one night only, to say good-bye to Rose.
Rose is more than ready to retire, her plan is to move closer to her sister in Australia. She is going to be missed by all of us.
I arrived at the same time as Alex, and by the looks of the cars already here, we are the last ones to arrive.
“When did you buy that?” I asked, noting he had a new car.
“Today, Nat took a bat to the Merc” he said, shaking the memory away.
“A bat? It couldn’t be restored?”
Surely she couldn’t have done that much damage, she wasn’t that big or strong.
“It could have been, but the paint stripper she found in one of the garages made it impossible” he added.
“Ouch”
“Indeed, I’m glad I’m walking in with you”
“Come on chicken, I’ll look after you” I teased, pushing him through the door.
“Dad” Jasmine-Lily smiled and ran the rest of the stairs to him.
“Hey darling, how are you?”
I left them to it, I know how much he has missed his children.
I found everyone in the main dining room. Although Rose technically works or rather worked for my brother and Nat, she has never been treated as an employee, more like a surrogate grandmother who lived in and helped out, yet it was still strange to see her sitting at the table with us and not running around making sure we were all okay for drinks and food.
“Hey Rose” I greeted her first, walking over to sit next to her.
“Hello Chris, it is so nice of you to come tonight,” she said fondly.
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world” I told her, “Um…Nat, Alex is here too” I said, giving her a heads up.
It was plain to see she was nervous, it was good Alex was able to come tonight, he can see for himself the pain he has caused. She smiled weakly and finished her drink, then just as quick refilled her glass of wine.
After saying hello to everyone, I took my seat and noticed Henry wasn’t looking on top form tonight.
“Are you okay Henry?” I asked.
“I’m fine, a bit tired but okay. How is work?” he replied, changing the conversation away from himself.
“Yeah, it’s going good, keeping me busy” I said, “Where is Ava and Layton?” I asked, noting they weren’t here like I thought.
“They went to pick Jack up from training, they should be back soon”
They must have arrived in separate cars, as Ava’s is parked out front. Everyone suddenly went silent, and then quickly resumed their conversations.
Alex had walked in with Jasmine-Lily.
“Hey babe” he said, looking like he was in two minds about bending down to give her a kiss. Wisely he took the chair out next to her and sat down.
She wasn’t technically scowling at him but she wasn’t welcoming either. Luckily Ava, Layton and Jack arrived. Ava looked happy walking hand in hand with Layton, her smiled faultered when she saw Alex sitting there, but immediately carried on and joined us all. Jack lost all composure though.
“What is he doing here?” he shouted at his mother.
At nearly fifteen years old, he was already a force to be reckoned with, he was on par with Alex and I for height and much more fit.
“Sit down Jack. Tonight is for Rose, so just sit down,” she ordered sternly.
The glare Alex received from him was as cold as ice. Before the tension could escalate any further, Rose stood and called for everyone’s attention.
“I would like to thank everyone for being here tonight. When I first started working for Jasmine, I never anticipated a future with people I would come to call my family. It has been a pleasure to be a part of seeing the children grow,” she said dabbing her eyes with a tissue that appeared from nowhere, “I’m going to miss you all tremendously. I could have been sunning myself on a beach somewhere for the past fifteen years curtsey of Jasmine, but I would have drove myself crazy on my own, there isn’t anywhere else I would have wanted to be” she smiled, “To my family, thank you” she concluded, unable to stop the tears.
“To family” we cheered.
“To Rose” Henry added.
“Rose”
Nat had prepared a superb meal, conversation was flowing nicely apart from Nat flat out refusing to answer Alex’s foolish attempts to talk to her. She pointedly glared at him before ignoring him.
“Ava honey, how are the wedding plans coming along?”
“Well, you should all be receiving your invitations in the next couple of days”
I choked on my drink, I wasn’t aware a date had been set!
“Oh don’t be so dramatic dad, and keep the twenty-fifth of August free”
“But…that is only a month away” I stammered out.
“Don’t be nervous Chris, you know better than anyone a wedding can be put together in a short amount of time” Rose said.
It wasn’t the planning that caught me
off guard, why the rush?
“Your right” I agreed to keep the peace.
The wedding was going ahead whether I thought it was too quick or not, plus I didn’t want to be the one who made Ava’s smile disappear.
“You won’t have time to miss us Rose, you will be back soon enough” I laughed.
“I’ll still visit, you won’t be getting rid of me that easily”
The women spoke amorously about the wedding, while we disappeared into the living room. The atmosphere was disturbing, Henry sitting silently in the armchair while Alex was failing to talk to Jack.
I told myself I would stay a while longer then I would make an excuse and leave.
I wondered if Rose would have retired now if Jas was still alive and we had our own children. She had quietly asked to speak to me in private before I left. Apart from good-bye I couldn’t guess what else she had to say that couldn’t be said in front of everyone else.
“No way dad, you didn’t want us, this is your mess” Jack shouted before leaving the room.
“That doesn’t sound like giving them time” I said to Alex as he was leaving to catch Jack up.
“I have to try,” he said, before he was gone.
“They will work it out,” Henry said adamantly.
I wasn’t so sure.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I asked again while we were alone.
He looked like he should be home resting.
“I’m just old, can’t say I like it that much” he laughed, he sounded weak, “Rose was right, who would have thought we would still all be together? One woman bought us together yet we lost her a long time ago,” he murmured sadly.
I could be myself around him, even if I tried to hide how I was really feeling, he always saw through the façade.
“If it weren’t for Ava, it would feel like she never existed at all sometimes”
“She will always exist because you can’t let her go”
It wasn’t that I couldn’t let Jasmine go, it was more like I wouldn’t let her go. Since she died, I couldn’t understand why it was so important to let her go, nothing has changed in the way I feel about her, I still miss her the same as I did when she first died, the only difference now is that I can get through day to day without wanting to drink myself into oblivion to forget the pain.