“‘So be careful what you wish for / ’Cause you just might get it …’”
“Oh my God, are you rapping again?”
“Sorry,” Drew said sheepishly. “It’s stuck in my head now.”
Kate slipped under the covers and cradled the phone against her ear. Yes, it was going to be good to be here. But she couldn’t deny the pull she felt back to L.A.
Back to Drew.
27
TALKING POINTS
Carmen leaned over across the banquette table at Walrus, a new, slightly hipsterish bar that had opened earlier that week, and poked Fawn in the ribs. “My dress looks amazing on you.”
Fawn grinned. “Sooo amazing that you might let me keep it?”
“Guys,” Drew said. “We just finished with the is-Balenciaga’s-new-collection-the-greatest-thing-ever conversation. Can we move on to something, I don’t know, a little more gender-neutral?”
Carmen laughed and nodded. “Sorry.” It was time to change the subject anyway; PopTV was filming this night out and no one had hit their talking points yet. Sometimes it took a while to warm up, though. Plus, tonight’s crowd was kind of weird. Carmen, Gaby, and Sophia were the only ones on the shooting schedule, but at the last minute Carmen had begged Drew to come. “For moral support,” she’d said. “I need to be around at least one real friend tonight.”
Trevor was making the most of Carmen’s three-day break from shooting; he’d already had her film a brunch with Gaby and a shopping excursion with Sophia. She’d even gone out with Reeve Wilson and let the cameras come. Trevor obviously hadn’t gotten wind yet of the blowup with her mother (or where she was staying); otherwise he would have tried to make her film some tearful confrontation. Laurel knew about it, though, since they’d planned to have a quick shoot of Carmen and her mom in their breakfast nook, with Cassandra offering sage advice about the new wave of attention Carmen was getting. Carmen had told Laurel they had to scrap the scene … and then she asked if maybe there was an apartment for her, too, at Park Towers.
“I wish Kate could be here,” Carmen said brightly. “She loves this place.”
Sophia took her cue. “Where is she, anyway? I haven’t seen her around.”
“She’s back at home. In Ohio. She was basically suffering from exhaustion, so she decided to take a break. Rest up.”
Sophia nodded. “Totally. Rest is so essential to mental and physical well-being. I’m always telling Madison that, but I don’t think she listens to me.”
“How’s she doing?” Carmen asked.
Clearly they could hit their lines without any help from Gaby, who had disappeared somewhere with Jay. He hadn’t been on their schedule, but his being there was definitely no accident. He was already miked when Sophia, after receiving a text, had pointed him out across the room and said, “Gaby, isn’t that your man? Who’s that chick hanging on him?” Gaby had gone over to investigate (followed by two cameras) and had never returned.
“Oh,” Sophia said in reply to Carmen’s question. “She’s only got a few weeks of community service left, and then maybe she’ll be able to come out and play more.”
They talked about Kate’s upcoming shows and the fact that Carmen had booked her first monthly magazine cover for the following spring, when The End of Love would be coming out.
Drew wasn’t saying much—Trevor never gave him any talking points, even when he was on the schedule—but Carmen was glad to have him there. It had been so long since they’d hung out, and she missed him. He was so solid. So grounding.
That was why, after the cameras left (and Sophia had followed them out), she made him stay a little longer. “I’m your ride, remember,” she’d said teasingly. “You can either sit with me or you can walk.”
The DJ had started spinning bizarre mashups (Adele and the Wu-Tang Clan; LMFAO and the Ramones), and it was hard to hear. She scooted closer to Drew and said, “So—what’s up? Tell me everything.”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Not much is going on, really.” He looked at her carefully. “But you know how I sort of like to keep tabs on you, right? So I know what’s up with you even when we don’t hang? Well, I saw something kind of crazy on the way here, and I’m sure it’s not true, but …”
“What?” Carmen asked. “Was there a picture of me walking in front of the doctor’s office with the caption Carmen Curtis Deathly Ill? or something?” She had stopped looking at anything that was printed about her, so who knew what the gossip sites were saying. She was trying hard not to care anymore.
He smiled wryly. “Basically. It was you, driving and looking sort of pissed, and it was like, Cassandra Kicks Carmen to the Curb. Which is crazy. I mean, you did look upset, but you always look pissed when you’re driving. Where do they come up with these stories?”
Carmen sighed. The secret was out. She had no idea how, but if Drew knew, then Trevor knew, and he was going to try to make something of it. But there was nothing she could do about that now. “Because it’s true,” she said.
Drew’s mouth fell open. “What?”
“We had a fight. She kicked me out.” She said it matter-of-factly, as if it were no big deal.
“What about your dad?”
Carmen shrugged. “He’s away on business. I guess he’ll find out when he comes back in a couple of days.”
Drew frowned. “You don’t seem that upset. Are you?”
Carmen leaned back against the leather booth. Thinking about it made her tired. “I don’t know,” she said. “I mean, maybe it’s time for me to get my own place. I’m an adult, after all.”
“Barely,” Drew said, and Carmen swatted him on the arm. “Ow,” he yelped.
Carmen laughed. “You look so big and tough, but actually you’re a total baby.”
“You look so small and nice, but you’re actually a total brute,” he countered. “But hey—where are you staying then?”
“Luke’s place,” Carmen said, taking a sip of her drink. “It’s nice. It’s this cute little cottage in Venice.”
Drew looked concerned. “Does Kate know?”
“It doesn’t matter—Luke and I are ‘broken up,’ remember? We’re just friends.” But even as she said it, she knew it wasn’t entirely true. There was something different between them lately. Something strange—and almost electric. In the mornings she woke up and walked into the kitchen and he’d already be there, drinking coffee and reading Variety. He’d smile all sweet and sexy and ask if she wanted him to make her toast.
He seemed more than happy to have her staying with him. But he also seemed a bit jealous when he found out that Kate and Drew were hanging out. So what, really, was going on in his head and heart? Well, she didn’t know.
“Have you told her?” Drew asked again.
“Why do you care?” Carmen asked. “It’s not a big deal. If you had picked up your phone the night I called I’d be staying with you.”
“I just don’t want Kate to get hurt,” Drew said.
Something about the way he said it confirmed her suspicion: Drew liked Kate.
She took a moment to let this sink in. It was not a pleasant feeling.
She thought about their high school years, when Drew would drop anything he was doing to be at her beck and call. She suddenly decided she needed a Slushee at midnight? He’d bring it to her. Her car broke down on the side of the 101? He’d be there before any tow truck. He had doted on her utterly and completely. And she’d counted on that.
She gazed off into the dimness of the bar. It was getting louder every second. What was going on with her life? Suddenly everything was different, and not in a good way. Someone close to her was leaking private information to the tabloids. Her mother had kicked her out of the house. And Drew—her best friend, her rock, for a decade—was now focused on someone new. Professionally, Carmen was getting everything she dreamed about, but personally … well, it felt like everything was being taken away.
28
SO MANY SECRETS
Ryan
drove them along PCH as the sun began its descent. It was one of the last perfect fall days of the year, and Madison felt happy, for the first time in a long time. It was all because of that kiss they’d shared—and the lovely things that had come after it. The hike in Topanga. The picnic in Malibu. The night spent watching Judd Apatow movies. The coffee on Ryan’s deck in the morning.
It was too bad that he wouldn’t let any of their time together be filmed, but by now, Madison had come to terms with it. She was working hard to get other screen opportunities, but she was also learning how to relax a little. She was staring at the ocean, feeling almost blissful, when Ryan interrupted her reverie.
“I think you should come clean,” he said.
For a moment she had no idea what he was talking about. “What?”
“Living with a lie is a horrible thing,” he said. “You’ve told me how anxious it made you before your sister outed you on L.A. Candy. Why would you want to do that to yourself again if you don’t have to?”
Madison shook her head. “Ryan, what’s done is done. I lied under oath. I don’t really have a choice. I made my bed, and now I’m lying in it.”
“I have to admit something,” Ryan said suddenly.
Well, that’s a sentence that never leads to anywhere pleasant, Madison thought. She watched his profile as he grimaced slightly. “What?” she asked. She felt a sudden chill from the open window.
“I told your sister.”
“You—what?” Madison didn’t understand. She’d never even told Sophie about Ryan—what in the world was he doing talking to her?
Ryan looked sheepish. “She called the other day while you were in the shower and I picked up. Maybe it was overstepping my bounds, and I’m sorry. But she’s your sister! You should see her more often. She should be more of a support. I mean, that’s what families are for.”
“Yeah, nice families, maybe,” Madison muttered. She felt a surge of annoyance. What business was it of his? Her relationship with Sophie was between her and Sophie.
“Well, she sounded concerned about you. I was only trying to get you guys together, but then it just came out,” Ryan said. “I told her that it was your dad who took the necklace.”
Madison burst out laughing.
Ryan frowned. “What?”
“Oh, Ryan, you think she doesn’t know that?”
He turned to her, a look of astonishment on his face. “She knows? And she’s letting you take the fall for a guy who abandoned you, a guy she doesn’t even really remember?”
Madison shrugged. “She respects my decision.”
Ryan laughed. “I’m sure she does. And I’m sure you realize that your selflessness in taking the fall for your dad has helped her career. She’s all over The Fame Game these days.”
“What, you still watch?” Madison asked teasingly. “I thought you had no respect for my little corner of the entertainment industry.”
“Your sister is taking your place,” Ryan said. “Don’t you care?”
“Of course I care. But I can’t exactly do anything about it, can I? The most important thing is that no one goes after my dad. And if everyone keeps thinking I’m the thief, then he’s safe.”
She hadn’t heard from Charlie since that single postcard (I will make it right, okay? Just give me a little time). She tried not to think of him anymore, because when she did, she felt wild with anger. Didn’t he know what she was going through to keep his sorry ass out of jail? In a way, it was almost stupid that she didn’t turn him in. But at this point it was a matter less of love than it was of principle. She hadn’t been aware that she had principles, but apparently she did.
“I don’t want you to think you can’t change your mind,” Ryan said. He reached across the seat and put his hand over hers. “You could show a lot of people a different side of you that way.”
“I made a career out of being a bitch. Why would I want to stop now?”
Ryan didn’t answer. He turned off the highway and followed a road that wound through the canyon. In the trees, the air was cooler and smelled like eucalyptus and wild dill.
“By the way, you didn’t tell her about us, did you?” Madison asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Does she know we’re dating?”
Ryan shook his head. “I’m not the kiss-and-tell type,” he said. “I told her I was your boss.”
Good, Madison thought. Because if there was one thing she knew about Sophie, it was that you couldn’t trust her to keep anything a secret. Unless, of course, doing so served her purposes, such as letting Madison suffer alone for their father’s crimes.
“I’m starving,” Madison said, wanting to change the subject. “Are we there yet?”
“As a matter of fact, we are.” He pulled into the parking lot of a small café nestled in a grove of madrona trees. “This is one of my favorite places. They make the best meatballs and their orecchiette with broccoli rabe is off the hook.”
“Off the hook?” Madison repeated. “You sound like some twelve-year-old Venice Beach rat.”
Ryan opened the door for her and ushered her into the cozy room, which was lit by dozens of candles. “More like my sisters. They just discovered Snoop Dogg.”
“They’re so cute,” Madison said fondly. They’d talked her into staging a fashion show in the Tucker living room the morning after Ryan’s birthday, and they’d been adorable in their boas and leg warmers and long, beaded necklaces. They were so sweet—no wonder Ryan had no idea how crazy sisters could be.
She sat down on the chair Ryan had pulled out for her and opened her menu. “Do you want to split a salad?”
“I want my own damn salad,” Ryan said, grinning and grabbing her hands. “And the biggest plate of pasta the world has ever seen.”
“Sounds good to me,” Madison laughed.
Then Ryan leaned across the table, still holding her hands, and she tipped toward him, heart fluttering in anticipation. When had a simple kiss ever felt so perfect? Right as their lips met, there was a flash in the corner of Madison’s eyes. When she broke away and turned toward it, she saw the middle-aged woman who’d walked in after them hurrying back out of the restaurant.
“Hey,” Ryan called after her. “Hey!” He pounded his fist on the table. He seemed on the verge of getting up and going after her, but Madison put out her hand to stop him.
“It’s no big deal,” she said soothingly. “She was probably just getting a souvenir picture of me for her daughter.”
Ryan did not look comforted. “Of two people who are trying to have a nice, private dinner? I came here because no one knows about Rosa’s. That’s why I like it. You could be Elvis risen from the dead and no one would snap your picture.”
“Seriously, it’s harmless.”
Ryan shook his head. “How do you know that picture was just for her? As if the paparazzi aren’t bad enough, now everyone with a smartphone and a Twitter account thinks they’re a reporter.”
Madison gave him an odd look. What was he talking about? The chances of that picture showing up anywhere public were slim, because sadly, she wasn’t the tabloid fodder she used to be. Carmen had definitely replaced her on that front. But what did he care, anyway? She knew he didn’t want to be filmed, but what was so horrible about a little snapshot? She was going to ask him, but he looked so peeved that she decided to change the subject. “Wine,” she said brightly. “Red or white?”
In the morning, her phone woke her with its endless buzzing. (She’d put it on Vibrate, and now it was humming and dancing across the bedside table.) She rolled over and saw Ryan, still sleeping, his lashes dark against his tan cheek. She watched his chest rise and fall, and she wanted to nuzzle into his shoulder and fall back asleep. For a moment, she almost did. But then another text came in. It was so rare that her phone rang anymore; of course she was curious.
Yawning, she entered her password and checked her text messages. The first one she saw was from Gaby. It was a single word: “D-Lish.”
/> Madison gazed at the screen, still feeling sleepy. What could Gaby be talking about? Was her roommate featured in a Caption This post? Had Carmen started fake-dating someone new? Or was there a picture of Kate getting a key to the city in central Ohio? Whatever the story was, Madison was quite sure it had nothing to do with her.
Sleepily she clicked over to D-Lish, the website run by Jane Roberts’s old pal Diego. Her first thought, when she saw the photograph, was: Playboy bunny Holly Madison has a dress just like mine!
But then she realized that the picture was of her. And of Ryan. And they were kissing.
“Oh,” she cried suddenly, and Ryan rolled over, only half-awake, and planted a kiss on her arm. Samson jumped on the bed and wedged himself between them, his favorite place to be.
“Morning,” he said, his voice still thick with sleep. “What are you doing?”
“Looking online,” Madison said.
“Why? It’s not even nine a.m.”
She bit her lip. “Well, it seems like you were right about that woman from the restaurant.”
“What?” Ryan sat up and grabbed the phone from her hands. All of his warm grogginess vanished.
“She gave our picture to D-Lish,” Madison said, in case that wasn’t perfectly clear to him by now.
“Oh no,” he said.
The look on his face frightened her. But then she bristled: Was it really so bad that they were caught kissing? She scooted away from him. “What, are you that embarrassed to be seen with me?” she asked.
“No,” Ryan said, still staring at the screen. “That’s not it at all.”
“Then why are you freaking out?”
Ryan sighed and gave her back her phone. “Here. You can read all about it if you want.”
Confused, she scrolled down to the story below the picture. EX-PARTY BOY BACK ON THE SCENE WITH CONVICT PARTY GIRL, said the headline.