He nods. “I figured as much. I need to know asap.”
“I’ll make the calls after breakfast,” Lucy agrees.
“Perfect.” Cage turns his attention to me. “How would you feel about going with us, Tera?”
I look at Xander who’s watching me. “This is what I’m afraid of most. I’m afraid if I get there, to the venue, and you’re out there performing, and the crowd backstage gets rowdy, or even the audience, that I’ll have an anxiety attack. I need to be extra careful since I’m pregnant and unable to take any of the medications.”
“We always have security. I mean, Damian’s there. I’m sure he’d be happy to escort you and ensure your safety,” Xander answers.
I nod. “I’m just afraid, and I don’t want you to worry about me while you’re up there playing for the crowd.”
“We’ll work this out,” Cage assures me. “I can have as many men protecting you as you need to feel safe. No number is too big.”
“Anything you need, Tera,” Sera begins, “it’s yours.”
I bite my lip. I feel stupid. I want at least four, but is that overkill? Will they think I’m a silly and crazy chick?
“Stop,” Lucy commands. “No one judges anyone in this family. No one.”
“Was it that obvious?” I ask.
She nods. “It was. When Sera says ‘anything you need’, that’s precisely what we all mean. I can’t even imagine how difficult this is for you without your medications.”
She looks down at my wrist where I’m snapping my anxiety wristband. I stop and cover the band with my other hand.
“Please, don’t, Tera. Don’t be embarrassed. Don’t feel ashamed. Not with us. You don’t with the guys, right?” Lucy asks.
“Right,” I reply.
“We’re just an extension of them. We genuinely care about you. You are our family.” Lucy grasps my hand and squeezes gently. “I promise you. No one will ever judge you.”
“Never,” Sera assures me. “That’s not how this family works.”
Tears fill my eyes. They’ve accepted me as family. “Just like that?”
Jesse nods. “Just like that.”
I sniffle and nod. My gaze slides back to Lucy. “Thank you.” I look over to Sera and Cage. “All of you.”
Xander wipes his eyes. “Best family ever.”
I nod and kiss him softly. “Thank you for letting me be a part of it.”
He pulls me to him and hugs me fiercely. “You will always be my family, Tera. You always have been. Since day one.”
I nod. “I know. I know.”
Lucy lets out a sob. “This… oh, my heart is so happy right now.”
“Cupcake,” Jesse murmurs, then kisses her cheek. “Such a good heart.”
I lean out of Xander’s embrace and slap his hand as he tries to steal a piece of bacon.
“Don’t even. I will stab your hand with my fork,” I warn.
“Dude,” Jesse mutters. “Don’t mess with a pregnant woman’s food.”
“But it’s bacon, and bacon is meat candy. I want some,” Xander tells me.
I point my fork to the buffet. “Go get some then. I meant it when I said I’d stab you with this fork.”
“Pregnancy has made you violent,” Xander teases.
“And it only gets worse from here,” Ben replies.
When did he get here? And Coley.
Dad and Sandy come walking up.
“Dad?” I question, standing up to give him a hug, then Sandy. “What are you doing here?” I look between him and Sandy, and they’re both smiling.
“We got married,” Sandy blurts out, and Dad laughs.
“That was not part of the plan.”
She snickers. “Who needs a plan?”
He kisses her forehead.
“Well, it’s about damn time,” Lincoln bellows. “Hey, everyone! Our dad and Sandy got married… finally… after twenty-plus years!”
The entire restaurant erupts into cheers and applause.
“Dad, you stud,” Xander calls out, hugging him and slapping him on the back in the way guys do. Then he looks to Sandy. “Mom, gimme some sugar.”
I start laughing. I can’t stop either. The look on Sandy’s face is priceless. One of resignation and mirth. She hugs Xander back and kisses his cheek.
“This is just too good,” Jesse exclaims, laughing with me.
“He’s going to start calling her mommy and shit,” Linc declares.
“I can already see it,” I agree. “Are you staying here a while for a honeymoon?”
Dad shakes his head. “Nope. I’ve got two weeks of work, then Sandy and I are going to Paris for ten days.”
“Oh, Paris is so lovely,” Lucy replies.
One day I’ll get there. One day I’ll go to all the places I’ve dreamed of going. But for now, I’m enjoying this dream that’s come true. A big family, the man of my dreams as my husband, and our baby growing inside me. It’s a dream I hope never ends.
28
TERA
Three days later…
* * *
“I didn’t know you had nannies,” I tell Lucy.
“We had to. We’re working on new albums, both bands, so that means long hours and someone needs to help out with the babies,” she explains.
“I see. How did you find them?”
“My agent asked around to some very good friends of hers. I could’ve asked Cage, but he’d have likely given us one of the Russo enforcers,” she jokes.
“About that.”
She raises her brows.
“Is your family really the Italian mafia?”
She nods. “Yep. I’ve accepted it for what it is.”
“Which is?”
Lucy pours some milk into a sippy cup. “They buy and sell goods—illegal, of course. Weapons mostly. I’m not involved at all. It’s just not something I can stomach. Sera on the other hand, she’s got a taste for blood.”
“Really,” I probe.
“Oh, yes.” Lucy explains about the death of Sera’s parents which Xander gave me the cliff notes of.
“Holy shit. I think I’d have a taste for it too, if I were her. She’s good with a gun, you said?”
Lucy laughs. “She could hit a bullseye blindfolded. I’m not kidding. And with her mixed martial arts training, she’s a lethal weapon.”
I whistle. “Remind me never to piss her off.”
“No worries there. She doesn’t hurt family unless they become traitors. Then all bets are off.”
I nod. “That won’t be a problem. How does Cage feel about her being so active in the family?”
Lucy shrugs as she fills another cup. “He doesn’t like it, but Sera’s her own person and he knows that. He’d never tell her what she could and couldn’t do. Our grandpa, Giovanni, he’s in charge of what we call La Famiglia or Russo Famiglia. He doesn’t like women being involved in the business, but the times they are a’changing, and he’s found out there is no sexism in business anymore.”
“Wait. I thought women weren’t allowed?” I am so ignorant when it comes to this stuff.
“Not anymore. There are some women in charge of ‘families’. While the old-school families still hold true to the no-women rule, many now allow anyone who wants to and can pass all the necessary challenges, to participate in the family,” Lucy explains.
“So, people like Sera who are trained, who can shoot and defend themselves.”
“Exactly. Not everyone in the family has what it takes to be part of the business. I don’t have the blood thirst for it. Don’t get me wrong, I could kill someone if I needed to. I’ve been trained in hand-to-hand combat as well as knives and guns. But I choose not to. I don’t think I could live with myself if I killed someone just because I was ordered to, just because they had the wrong last name, you know?”
“That happens?”
“More than I care to admit knowing about.”
“Wow. Xander mentioned things, but I had no idea.” I’m not sure how I f
eel about that.
“This can’t be repeated.”
I nod my agreement.
“Cage is my grandfather’s second.”
I can’t hide my surprise. I knew he had involvement, I just didn’t know…
“I didn’t expect that.”
Lucy nods. “No one does. He’s a gentle man to those he loves. To his enemies he’s ruthless.”
“That’s a little unnerving,” I admit.
“I wouldn’t let it get to you. Cage is a good man. He’d do anything for family—and you’re family now,” she reminds me.
So. I’m part of the “family”. I never even thought about that. That means my baby is too.
“Are we safe?” I ask.
“Oh, yes. Safer than any average Joe on the street. Our security is top notch and, mostly, no one messes with us,” she tells me with a wink.
“I’m guessing they know better.”
“You got it. Now, go finish packing. This is going to be a fun weekend. Chicago! Our home town!”
I nod. I’m not so excited about Chicago. There’s nothing left for me there. All of my family and friends have moved on.
I head toward our suite when the doorbell rings. I don’t see anyone around, so I detour and yell out, “I got it!”
I open the door and there stands Carter Winters!
“Yeah, you sure do got it, baby!” he bellows, then lifts me into a hug, spinning me around. I squeal in surprise.
“Oh my God! What are you doing here?” I ask.
“You invited me. That open invitation, remember?” he asks wiggling his eyebrows.
I hear footsteps behind me and I laugh while Carter spins me again.
“What the hell is going on here?” Xander yells as he sprints down the stairs. “Jesus, is that Carter fucking Winters in my house? What the hell are you doing in my house, Winters?”
I laugh into Carter’s neck. “He’s going to feel like an asshole in about two minutes.”
Carter nods.
“I came to see Tera.”
“Oh really. That’s interesting,” Xander says, giving me the squinty eye. I laugh and he squints his eyes even more. “Is something funny, wife?”
I laugh again. “Yes, as a matter of fact.”
“What’s funny?” he bites out.
I see Linc grinning, Ethan smirking, Kennedy just waiting, Jesse and Lucy eating popcorn. Ben and Nicole are standing there, each holding an adorable little dog. I want one!
“You’re going to feel really silly in about ten seconds,” I tell him.
“Why’s that?”
I can hear her heels on the steps.
“Five, four, three, two, one…”
“What’s shakin’ fellas and ladies!” Shea yells out.
Xander looks confused and I snicker. It’s mean, but he did this to himself.
“I repeat, what the hell is going on here?” Xan yells again.
“Jesus, we heard you the first time,” Carter answers.
“Watch yourself, Winters,” Xander tells him as he points.
Shea laughs. “This is so amusing. I’d let it go on, but he looks so sad standing there. Poor lost, Xander—who brought this on himself. This will teach you to be nice to house guests.”
“Um, Xan,” I begin, walking over to where he’s standing, legs apart, arms folded across his chest—it’s an aggressive stance and it’s so un-Xander-like.
“Woman, what the fuck?”
“Don’t you swear at me and calm down. You’re going to feel like an idiot in a minute.”
He tilts his head.
“You remember agreeing it was okay for Shea to come for a visit?” I prod.
He nods. “Yeah.”
“Well, she’s here with her husband. Carter.”
Xander blinks. Looks at Shea and Carter where they’re standing arm-in-arm.
“Well, why didn’t you say so? Carter fucking Winters! How the hell are ya? That was one hell of a season you had,” Xander shouts, walking right up to Carter and hugging him.
I roll my eyes while the rest of the family laughs.
“Now that is the Xander I remember,” Shea blurts out while she runs up and gives me a hug. “It’s so good to see you.”
“You too. I’ve missed you.”
And I have. So much. Shea and Carter came to visit at least twice a week. Then when I was at a good point in therapy and I was able, we went out to dinner, too. They’re still my best friends.
“Nice digs, Falling Down rockstars,” Shea whistles.
“Come here, brat,” Linc calls out. She runs up and hugs him.
“How are you liking California?” she asks him.
He shrugs. “It’s good. I’m content. Family’s here.”
Shea nods. “We may be moving this way soon. Carter doesn’t want to re-up his contract with New York. Word is a couple teams out here want him.”
“As well they should. MVP of the league,” Xander boasts.
“You’re an idiot,” Carter tells Xan. “You’ve always been an idiot when it came to Tera. It’s good to see none of that has changed.”
Xander laughs. “Well, old habits die hard.”
Carter playfully slaps Xander on the back. “Get over it, man. I never stood a chance, and we’ve all moved on.”
“Jealousy isn’t attractive,” Lucy tells Xander.
Xander opens his mouth as if to say something and Lucy gives him a look. With that, he closes his mouth, points to her, and nods as if to say, “You’re a fine one to be talking.”
“You’ve got a baby bump!” Shea yells.
I laugh. “My belly seems to have exploded overnight.”
“That’s just how it happens,” Lucy tells me.
Meggie and Trace come walking in and Meggie stands stock still.
“What is it?” Trace asks. He looks around then rolls his eyes and keeps walking.
“Is that…” Meggie begins, “Carter Winters?”
I nod.
“The Carter Winters?”
I nod again.
“I need to sit down. Then I need to touch his biceps. Then I need an autograph. In that order. Help me,” she pleads, and Trace takes pity on her. He hoists her over his shoulder and leads her to the patio where everyone is headed.
We hang out all afternoon with the Winters’. It’s so amazing that my two best friends got married. I knew they’d had random hookups in college, but I didn’t know it ended up being so much more than that. I think they were afraid to tell me. I reassured them there was no need for that.
Tomorrow we fly to Chicago, but before that I have something I need to do and I want to do it before it gets dark.
“Xander?”
“Yeah, babe.”
“Can we go somewhere? Do we have to let someone know or can we just go? There’s something I want to do,” I tell him. Shea and Carter look at me just as funny as Xander does. They’re all confused. But it’ll become clear before long.
“I’ll just let security know. They’ll drive us. We always have at least two with us everywhere we go,” Xan tells me.
I nod. “Okay. Good.”
“Where are we going?” Shea asks.
I just look at her. Understanding dawns and she hugs me.
“Will Carter be okay?” I ask.
She nods. “I think so, but I’ll give him a head’s up in case he’d rather not go.”
“Okay.”
“Um, is there something someone wants to tell us?” Meggie asks, holding up a positive pregnancy test.
Lucy gasps. “It’s not mine!”
Jesse lets out a breath of relief. “Thank fuck for that.”
“So, whose is it?” Trace asks.
Lucy looks around the room, eyeing Sera, Summer, and Meggie closely. “That’s a really good question.”
“It’d be best if whoever it is just confesses. That way Lucy will stop giving everyone those looks like you stole the last cookie from the cookie jar,” Jesse informs us.
?
??Well, it’s not mine. You already know I’m pregnant,” I confess.
Trace looks at Meggie. “It’s not yours, is it?”
She blanches. “No.” Then she shudders.
“Visibly repulsed by the thought of having children. Good to know,” Trace mutters.
I’m not sure if he’s disappointed or relieved. It’s hard to tell with those two.
“It’s not mine,” Nicole announces.
Lucy hugs her close. “You have your two children coming soon.”
I think it’s wonderful what they’re doing for Luis and Maria. Adopting two wonderful children whose father was an abusive fuckface.
Sera laughs and hugs Cage. “It’s not mine. Cage would be right there when I peed on a stick if I even thought I was PG.”
Everyone looks at Summer and Jace laughs. “Busted!”
Summer blushes. “I buried that beneath a bunch of Kleenex. Meggie, you’re nasty.”
“Don’t even try to change the subject, woman,” Meggie replies. “That’s where you to took off to? Tsk tsk.”
“You should really know better, Summer,” Trace tells her. “Meggie has no boundaries.”
“I know, but we were too excited to think about it. We didn’t want to tell anyone yet. I’m only about eight weeks or so, I think,” Summer tells us. “We’ll know more when we go see Dr. Mac.”
“Wow, my dad’s got a lot of business coming his way,” Xander declares as he walks back into the room. “Everything’s ready if you are?”
I nod and look at Carter who nods back.
“Where are you going?” Linc asks.
“To lay the past to rest,” I answer.
29
TERA
“Are you okay?” Xander asks for the fifth time.
I nod, just looking out the window, taking in the sights. “I like to look out the window whenever I go somewhere now. I get to see everything I haven’t for over a decade.”
“Even if LA is mostly traffic?” he teases.
“Even if. It’s soothing and calms my mind.” I turn to look at him. “When we get back, I’ll need to paint. I know we don’t leave until late tonight, so that’s okay, right?”