“You’re beautiful,” he whispered after his lips touched her cheek. “In every way, Kilikina. You’re beautiful.” Then his lips meet hers in a warm, tender kiss.
20
Never before had Christy felt so overwhelmed emotionally, spiritually, and physically. The intensity startled her and caused her to pull away. With her heart pounding, she looked at Todd, who was now a foot away instead of an inch away. His expression was the most tender, gentle, wholehearted look of love she had ever seen.
“Todd,” Christy said with a thin voice. “I . . . I . . .”
“I know.” Todd rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. “I didn’t mean to . . .”
“I know,” Christy said.
“But I meant what I said.”
Christy smiled. “Thank you.”
Todd rose and moved to the seat across from Christy. He leaned forward and reached for her hand, holding loosely on to only her first three fingers. The words didn’t seem to be coming to him.
Christy had words she wanted to give Todd. Her mind was clear, and her heart was full. “Todd,” she said, leaning forward and speaking softly, “I thought about something while you were on your polar bear journey. I decided I like kissing you just a little too much.”
Todd’s surprised expression made her quickly add, “What I mean is that we’ve never talked about standards or limits or guidelines or anything.”
Todd nodded.
“Well, this may sound idealistic, but I thought about all this a lot, and I came up with some ideas.”
“Go on.”
Christy tried her best to explain to Todd her idea of saving her kisses and spending them sparingly. She told him about her imaginary piggy bank filling up with expressions of affection. “So you see, I wanted to spend one of my really big kisses on you just a minute ago, but I pulled back so I could save that one in my piggy bank. Then when . . .” Christy didn’t want to say, “when we get married.” Instead, she paused. Feeling her cheeks reddening, she finished the thought with, “. . . then it will be saved until the time is right, and I’ll be able to freely spend everything.”
Todd looked at Christy with what appeared to be deep admiration. He seemed to be moved by what she had said. But a minute passed before he finally spoke. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For caring. For thinking through that part of our relationship. I’d thought about it a long time ago and decided I was only going to kiss you on special occasions. One of my guidelines was to keep our kisses short and in public so we would have nothing to hide.”
Christy hadn’t realized Todd had thought through this part of their relationship. But as she contemplated it, she saw that during the past five years his expressions of affection had fallen into those guidelines.
“Things are changing for us, and I’m glad they are.” He gave her fingers a squeeze. “We’re getting closer to each other. I think that means we’re going to have a lot more decisions to make, separately and together. You’ve made a really wise decision ahead of me in this area. But your choice helps me, and I appreciate that. I’ll be saving kisses in my bank, as well.”
Christy glanced over Todd’s head and saw Katie was returning.
Todd read her expression and said, “We can talk about this some more later.”
Christy gave Todd a pesky little grin. In imitation of the teenager Todd used to be, with a chin-up nod, Christy pulled her hand from his and said, “Later.”
Whether Todd caught the connection, Christy didn’t know. Katie plopped down next to Christy, examined the chessboard, and said, “Who’s winning?”
Christy glanced at Todd. He grinned back. In unison they said, “We both are.”
“Whoa!” Katie said. “Did you two practice that while I was gone?”
What we almost practiced while you were gone was our kissing technique! If you hadn’t gotten me thinking about setting my own limits, Katie, I think that’s exactly what you would have found us doing.
“Christy was teaching me how to come out ahead,” Todd said, his eyes fixed on the chessboard.
“Christy was?”
“Yep,” Todd said. “And it’s my turn, right?”
“Not exactly, pal,” Christy teased. “It’s my turn, remember?”
“This I have to see,” Katie said.
All the way to Amsterdam they played a round of “group” chess in which Katie advised each of them on their moves. Once they arrived in Amsterdam, Christy grabbed her pack, and Seth’s postcards spilled out on the floor. Katie accidentally stepped on one of the cards, and Christy picked them up, trying to brush off the dirt.
“I have to mail these before I lose them,” she said, immediately realizing how crazy that sounded. These weren’t even her cards. Yet someone on the other side of the globe in some place called Glenbrooke, Oregon, needed to receive those postcards from Seth. She wondered if she was taking this responsibility too seriously.
The three of them filed their way through the crowded train station, and Christy thought about how she took most of her responsibilities and commitments seriously. In some instances, such as in her relationship with Todd, that was a very good thing. But did she have to be so determined and responsible with everything—like postcards?
Their time to explore Amsterdam was shorter than they thought it would be. Todd’s friend from Spain, Mike, showed up at 6:30 and drove them in his small car across town to the youth hostel he and his wife ran. At first Christy thought she might have met Mike and Megan during the short week she was in Spain more than a year ago. But they had come to Amsterdam and had been running the ministry at The Rock for almost two years now.
Christy liked Megan at once and asked Megan how she could help her get ready for the evening’s event. Slim, energetic, blond Megan told Christy and Katie to relax. Every night they held a casual worship and praise service. She said sometimes half a dozen people came, sometimes it was just the two of them.
Mike handed Todd his guitar. Christy could hear him plucking out some of his old favorites, like one he wrote, “The Dust of His Feet.” Katie and Christy settled themselves on a beat-up old couch toward the front of the small meeting room. Todd went on to play a song Doug had written, and Katie started to sing. Christy joined her, and a few people, hearing the music, shuffled into the meeting room.
Todd closed his eyes, and tilting his head toward the heavens, he sang out the lyrics, “Sing to the One who rides across the ancient heavens, His mighty voice thundering from the sky. For God is awesome in His sanctuary.’ ”
This is what Todd is gifted to do, Christy thought. He told me God has uniquely gifted each of us. I believe that. And I believe Todd is gifted to lead people in worship. He has a shepherd’s heart.
The hour-long service turned into two hours. At first, only three students who were staying at the hostel entered. More began to come. Christy counted fifteen and then twenty. The worship time was awesome. About ten people stayed around to talk to Mike. Christy, Katie, and Todd had a discussion with a guy from Argentina. At nearly 11:00, Christy noticed that Mike was praying with two of the guys he had been talking with.
After everyone else left, Christy, Todd, and Katie gathered in the small kitchen with Mike and Megan. Megan had just found out that they hadn’t eaten since their frites in Belgium that afternoon and was making grilled cheese sandwiches for them.
“And I’m even using white bread,” Megan said with a smile. “This is my one comfort food around here. It’s not exactly Velveeta and Wonder Bread like my mom used to make, but it’s as close to Americana as you’ll find in this part of the city.”
“God really did something tonight,” Mike said. “Did you see me praying with those two guys? They’re from Scotland, and both of them said they wanted to give their lives to the Lord. It was incredible. God really used you, Todd.”
“It wasn’t me,” Todd said. “It was God’s timing.”
“Yes, it was God’s timing that you were here to p
lay and lead worship on a night when those two guys happened to stay here. But I also think God used you, Todd, because you were available and open to Him.”
Christy devoured two of Megan’s sandwiches and thought about how she wanted her life to be like that—open and available to the Lord so He could use the gifts He had given her to further His kingdom.
Now, if only I could figure out exactly what those gifts are.
The next morning, in the same close kitchen, Christy and Todd sat eating bowls of oatmeal and talking with Megan and Mike. Katie was still asleep. As Christy listened, Mike asked Todd questions she had wanted to ask Todd for a long time.
“What are your plans for the future?” Mike asked.
“I’m working the rest of the summer at home to save some money. In September I’ll start at Rancho Corona. I have about a year left. Maybe less.”
“And then what?” Megan asked.
Todd was looking down into his oatmeal. He turned his head slightly and gave Christy a sideways glance. “Not sure yet,” he said.
“Have you thought about going into missions work full time?” Mike asked. “You know, raise support and make the long-term commitment?”
“I’ve thought about it.”
“What about coming back to Europe?”
“It’s a possibility,” Todd said.
“You probably have figured out what I’m getting at,” Mike said. “We would love to have you here. We need help running The Rock. You are a perfect fit. Meg and I got excited last night talking about what could happen if you came on staff with us.”
Todd quietly ate the last of his oatmeal without responding.
“Think about it,” Mike said, pulling back. “Pray about it.”
Todd nodded.
“So,” Megan said, obviously trying to take the attention off Todd, “tell us about you, Christy. You said last night you’re going to school in Basel. What are your plans after that?”
“Well, I’m not real sure. I’ve been doing some soul-searching on this trip, and I just realized a couple of days ago, as Todd and I were talking, that I’m headed in a direction I don’t want to go.”
“Do you mean with the orphanage and all that?” Megan asked. “You were saying last night that it really took a lot out of you to be with the kids.”
Christy nodded. “I’m discovering that I don’t have the gifts needed for a long-term commitment like that. I need to figure out where I’m gifted and see what I should be doing instead.”
“Christy is exceptionally gifted,” Todd said.
“Really?” Mike looked interested. “Do you sing, Christy?”
“No, not really.”
“Do you like to teach?”
“Sort of. Little kids.”
“What about counseling?” Megan asked.
Christy shook her head. She was beginning to realize that the quest to find out what she was gifted at might be a rather long journey. Nothing popped right out as her specialty. It made her feel insecure.
“Christy has a rare, pure, golden heart,” Todd said. He looked at her with an open, caring expression. “She gives unconditionally and is a constant source of encouragement. She’s gracious and patient and organized. She looks for the best in people and in every situation. She’s willing to go the extra mile, even when it’s inconvenient for her. She’s flexible to change, generous, and wise beyond her years. God is going to use Christy’s life in a powerful way.”
When Todd finished, none of them spoke for a moment. Christy was stunned at his shower of praise.
Megan was the one who finally broke the silence. “Todd, why didn’t you tell us? Christy’s the one you were talking about before, isn’t she?” Turning to Christy she said, “I should have figured it out. When Todd first came to Spain, we kept trying to fix him up with this woman on staff who was from Pennsylvania. Todd was nice to her. He was nice to everybody. But when he turned down all our dating tips, I asked him what the deal was. Do you remember that conversation, Todd?”
Christy glanced at Todd. He seemed to be trying to signal Megan that their conversation had been private.
Megan pulled back and said, “So he . . . I mean, you were . . .”
“I wasn’t interested in Tina. That’s what you’re trying to say, isn’t it?”
Megan grinned sheepishly at Christy. “We thought it was so cute. You know, we were Mike and Megan, and we figured Todd and Tina should be together. But Todd said he was interested in someone else, and he was waiting on God’s timing. Now I guess we know who that someone was. It was you.”
“It was,” Todd said, giving Christy his full attention.
“Morning all,” Katie said, making a grand entrance into the kitchen. “What did I miss?”
Only one of the most tender expressions of Todd’s forever kind of friendship that he’s given me since the day he first put this bracelet on my wrist. I’m his girlfriend, Katie! I really am. He loves me. He’s loved me for a long time.
“Nothing,” Christy said.
It wasn’t that she didn’t want Katie involved in this conversation, but the revelation had been perfect just the way it was. She didn’t want anyone to repeat the details when it wouldn’t have the same effect it already had had on her.
“I suppose you three are ready to see Amsterdam,” Mike said, changing the subject for Christy. “Do you want to borrow a car, Todd?”
“No, we can use our train passes. You might want to give us a few tips. And if it’s okay with Katie and Christy, I think we’ll stay here tonight, too.”
“Definitely,” Katie said. “Only one small request. Do you have a washing machine, Megan?”
“Sure. It’s small. Euro-size. You guys are welcome to use it. Or better yet, give me your clothes when you head out for the day, and I’ll run them through for you.”
“That would be great,” Christy said. “Thank you.”
Mike suggested several places to visit, including some art museums, the Hiding Place, where Corrie Ten Boom had lived, and the Anne Frank museum.
“Any preferences?” Todd asked.
“I’d love to see the Hiding Place,” Christy said. “And at least one art museum. We sort of ran through the Louvre a little too fast. I’m feeling like we could use one more brush with culture before we go for our yodeling lessons in the Alps.”
“Is that where you’re going next?” Megan asked.
“Looks like it,” Todd said. “But we’re flexible.”
Todd displayed his flexibility that day by doing whatever Christy wanted. Katie noticed it after they bought their admission for the Van Gogh museum. “I thought you said you weren’t interested in any more art, either, Todd.”
“Christy wanted to see this. I think it’s a good idea.”
In Christy’s opinion, it was a good idea. Katie got more into the exhibit when she recognized some of Vincent Van Gogh’s art and realized he was the tormented artist who cut off his ear.
For a long while, Christy stood in front of Van Gogh’s famous painting of sunflowers. In some places, the paint was plopped onto the canvas so thick it stood up like freshly whipped cream stiffened into peaks. Only instead of white whipped cream, the colors were bright yellow. In other places, Christy could see the original canvas where no splotches of paint had landed. Such creative expression fascinated her.
When they went on to the Hiding Place, Katie complained again that she had voted for the Anne Frank museum, but Todd had decided on Christy’s choice even though it was farther out of the city. To make matters worse, the Ten Boom clock shop, where the Hiding Place was located, was closed when they arrived so they weren’t able to go on a tour.
The threesome returned to The Rock at 6:00, just in time for the homemade dinner Megan had promised them. Christy told Megan that was the best meat loaf, mashed potatoes, and green beans she had eaten since coming to Europe.
“Does it make you a little homesick?” Megan asked.
“A little.”
“Are you going
home with Todd and Katie, or are you going to stay and finish the course even though you’re changing your major?” Megan asked.
“I haven’t decided yet.” As soon as Christy said it, Todd gave her a surprised look. “I need to decide pretty quickly. You know what? If I could borrow your phone tonight to make a collect call to my parents, that would really help me out.”
“Oh, they’re going to love that,” Katie said. “If I called my parents collect from Holland, they would hang up on me.”
“No, they wouldn’t,” Christy said.
“I’m not going to call them to find out,” Katie said.
Christy phoned her parents after another incredible worship service. Even though it was late at night in Holland, it was still in the afternoon in California. Christy’s mom answered and immediately asked Christy if she was all right.
“Yes, we’re all fine. Everything is going great, Mom. But I’m going to change my major. I don’t know what I’m going to change it to yet, but I know I can’t do this kind of work with little kids for the rest of my life.”
“Are you sure?” her mom asked.
“Yes, very sure. The question now is whether I should stay at school for the next term or come home. What do you think?”
Christy’s mom paused before saying, “I think you have to decide that for yourself. Dad and I told you we would support your decisions from here on out. But they are your decisions, Christy.”
21
The next morning, as Christy and Katie ate breakfast in Mike and Megan’s kitchen, Christy said, “Sometimes I don’t like being an adult.”
“Really hard for you to make a decision about this next term at Basel, isn’t it?” Katie said.
Christy nodded. “Last night I hardly slept. I kept thinking about what Todd and I decided when I was leaving England a year and a half ago and he was trying to figure out how much longer he should stay in Spain.”
“Was that the conversation you two had at that little tea shop?” Katie asked.