“Found her. Abandoned,” Axel replied curtly.
“Huh. Well, you sure she’s okay? Doesn’t seem very friendly.”
“Bella. Say hi to Officer Mendez.”
“It’s okay, Bella,” said the man with the outstretched hand. I sniffed his fingers, wagging a little, wary that he might grab for my collar. “My name is Tom.”
“How can we assist you today, officer?” Axel asked.
“Don’t be like that, Axel. You know my name is Tom.”
“Tom.”
It seemed the nice police’s name was Tom. Tom’s friend stood back, writing something down.
“So Axel, winter’s right around the corner. Have you thought about what I said, going back to Denver? We’re still willing to drive you. I think it’s a really good idea.”
“What about my dog?” Axel asked.
“She could go. Of course.” Tom nodded agreeably.
“And then what?”
Tom shrugged. “Well, look. You could go back to the VA—”
“I’m not doing that,” Axel interrupted calmly. “Last time I was there they tried to take my blood.”
“It’s a hospital, Axel.”
“Hospital. Hospitality. Yet there are people in there who have never been tried, never convicted, who can’t get out. They’re hooked up to medical amplifiers that interface with the Internet via TCP/IP protocols. Why do you suppose they do that? An electrophysiological monitor provides two-way transmission to the Web, and that doesn’t seem suspicious to you? The World Wide Web?”
Tom was quiet for a moment. “We just don’t have any way to help you here. No one can live outside in the winter, not here, it’s just too cold. And Gunnison doesn’t have the facilities, and you won’t let any of the charities assist you.”
“They all want the same thing from me,” Axel said flatly.
“Everyone cares about you, Axel. You served our country. You helped us, and now we want to help you.”
Axel pointed at the sky. “Do you know that at any given moment you have three satellites triangulating you? But their algorithms won’t work on me because I live at random. I am off the pattern. I am not on the grid. I won’t eat their genetically modified food.”
“Okay…” Tom started to say.
“When you go to a coffee shop they want your name, did you ever stop to think why? Why do they need your name? For a cup of coffee? And they put it into their computer? That’s just one of a thousand ways you are being tracked.” Axel was speaking rapidly and I could feel him getting anxious and I nosed his hand to let him know I was right there.
“Are you using again, Axel?” Tom asked softly.
Axel looked away. Now he felt furious. I nosed him again. I just wished he would be happy.
“Well.” The nice police stood. I wagged, understanding from his motion that he would not try to take me with him. “Keep in mind what I said, Axel. I can’t make you get help, but I wish you would see how much people care. If you try to live outside all winter, you and your dog will die. Please, please think about it.” He reached in his pocket and put something in the can. “Take it easy, Axel.”
* * *
Without warning, Axel packed up his cart and we trudged across town to a park. We moved into his house, but it was very odd: a place with a roof and no walls, with several tables but no food. The yard was huge and there were several slides, but I did not show Axel I knew how to climb them because I was always on the leash.
Sometimes other dogs came to the park and I whined, longing to run with them. Axel did not mind when they trotted over to me but I was not allowed to follow when they dashed off after balls and children.
“They’re tagged, Bella. They’ve all got chips in them,” he told me. I heard a finality in the way he said my name and knew I would not be allowed to play.
Other people came to see us. They all carried sacks and bags, and often they drank from sharp-smelling Sylvia bottles, passing them around and talking and laughing. The fireplace was a metal box on a pole; it reminded me of the time when I found a big slab of meat set out for me in a park and a baby watched me take it. They burned wood in the box, standing in front of it and holding their hands out to the heat.
“Damn it’s getting cold,” a man named Riley liked to say. I liked Riley, he had very gentle hands and his breath smelled like Mother Cat’s. “Gotta get south before I’m on the wrong side of winter.”
People—there were three men besides Axel—nodded and murmured affirmatively.
“Not leaving,” Axel replied tersely.
They all glanced at each other.
“You can’t stay here, Axel. Starting December it never gets above freezing. Lotta days it’s below zero,” Riley said.
“Not leaving. Not again. I’m safe here.”
“No, you’re not,” another man stated definitively. He had just arrived and I did not know his name but people had been calling him Don’t Drink All of It Dammit. “Your dog and you are gonna freeze to death.”
Often the people passed around something small and thin like a pencil. They would point the tip of the pencil at their arms and then everyone would laugh and then they’d nap. I felt a deep peace come over Axel at such times, but for some reason was very anxious at how solidly he would sleep regardless of the temperature. I would arrange myself to keep him warm, waiting for him to wake up.
Lucas had pencils, too, but I did not remember him ever poking his arm with one.
When the people left it was as a group, carrying their bags the way Taylor did when he would depart for several days.
“You’re not going to make it, man. Please come with us,” Riley said urgently.
Axel petted me. “Staying.”
“You’re a stupid bastard and you deserve to die,” laughed Don’t Drink All of It Dammit. Axel made a quick gesture with his hand and the man laughed again, an ugly sound that caused the hair to rise on the back of my neck.
The house with no walls felt lonely with just the two of us. I was glad whenever we went to the town and sat on our blankets on the sidewalk. Many people would stop to speak to us. Some gave me treats and sometimes they would give Axel bags of dog food.
One man sat on the blankets and spoke to Axel for a long time. “It’s going to go into the single digits tonight, Axel. Won’t you come to the church? You could shower. For the dog, if nothing else.”
“It is not a true church. The word does not travel beyond its doors,” Axel replied.
“What can I do for you then?”
“I do not need the help of someone like you,” Axel told him coldly. He stood and began shoving things into his cart and I knew we were going back to the park.
When we arrived, four cars were in the parking lot and there were people in the house with no walls, but I could smell none of them were Riley. One of them broke away from the group and walked over to us. It was the friendly police, Tom. “Hi, Axel. Hello, Bella.” He rubbed my chest and I wagged.
“I’ve done nothing wrong,” Axel replied.
“I know. It’s okay. Can you come here to the pavilion a minute? It’s okay. Axel, come on, I promise. Nothing bad’s going to happen.”
Stiffly, Axel followed Tom over to where the people stood. There was a little cloth house lying on some pads under the roof of the home with no walls, some plastic chests, and a flat metal box. Tom waved at the people and they backed away, so it was just Axel and the police standing with me. “Okay, look here, Axel.” Tom held the flap door open on the cloth house. “See? The tent’s designed for the arctic. That’s a propane stove in there. You’ve got a mountaineering sleeping bag. Coolers got food, and the cookstove has an electric lighter.”
I sniffed curiously at the interior of the cloth house.
“What’s this all about?” Axel demanded harshly.
Tom pressed his lips together. “Look, when you left for Afghanistan, your father spoke to us and—”
“Us?” Axel interrupted. “Who is us?”
&
nbsp; Tom blinked. “Just people, Axel. Your family’s been in Gunnison for a long time. He just wanted to make sure that when he died you would have folks to look after you.”
“I have no family.”
“I understand why you say that, but you’re wrong. We are your family. All of us, Axel.”
I did not know why Axel was so upset, but I felt the people standing and watching him talk to Tom must be part of the reason. I stared at them, but they made no move to do anything threatening or hostile. Eventually, everyone left, and we were alone.
“Let’s check out this tent, Bella,” Axel said.
We had the warmest night in a long time, sleeping inside what I came to learn was the tent. Axel twitched and cried out, his dreams swirling, reminding me of Mack. I licked his face and he awoke and calmed, his hand on my fur.
“They want something from me, Bella,” he murmured. I wagged at my name.
* * *
Every few days, Tom came to visit and brought food he put into the plastic boxes. Sometimes Axel would feel happy and the two men would talk a little, and sometimes he would feel hostile and angry and Tom would just give me a small treat and leave.
I did like Tom, but understood Axel wasn’t always glad to see him.
We still went to town. Sometimes we would sit on the blanket for a while, people pausing to put things in a can, and then Axel would cross the street and bring back a bottle that smelled like Sylvia. And sometimes he would leave me tied to the fence for what seemed forever, finally returning and taking us immediately back to the tent. He would hold a plastic pencil over his arm and then he would climb into the tent and we would sleep for a long, long time.
Winter was harsh on the air, burning my throat and stinging the pads of my feet. I craved the warmth of the tent and would gladly snuggle with Axel in there. Someday, I knew, the summer days would return, and perhaps then I could return to doing Go Home, but nothing compelled me to leave the safety of the heat Axel could provide simply by playing with the knobs on the metal box inside the tent.
We were on our way back to the park from town, the sun easing down in a gray sky, when I smelled smoke, burning wood, and people near our house with no walls. It was not Riley, but three strangers, males, their shadows dancing in the large fire they had built in the metal box on the pole. We were just entering the park, trudging along in heavy snow, and when one of them laughed loudly Axel lifted his head, suddenly aware of their presence. He stiffened, and I felt a flash of fear and anger course through him as I lifted my snout to his hand.
The men were young and were throwing Axel’s things, banging them around loudly. Axel was breathing heavily, but he was not moving as he watched them stomp on his belongings.
Oddly, my thoughts flashed back to when the coyotes had pursued Big Kitten and me as we fled to the rocky ridge. There was some way in which this felt like the same thing. These weren’t bad dogs, they were bad men. Bad men like the one Mom made crawl out the door. Bad like the man who came to hurt Sylvia.
Dutch had wanted to bite that man, and the two of us growled and snarled and the man left.
I knew what to do.
Twenty-four
An angry growl rose in my throat. Axel glanced at me in surprise. Then he drew himself up, his fear melting as his fury took hold. I felt it pouring off of him like heat. “Yes, Bella, you are right. This cannot stand.” He broke into a run and I dashed along at his side, our footfalls silent in the muffling snow. It was as if I was facing down the coyotes—a ferocious wrath seized me. I had never bitten a human before, but it seemed that this was what Axel wanted me to do now—I was responding as if he had shouted a command.
The three young males whirled when Axel and I burst into the circle of light from the fire. I barked out a full snarling scream of rage and lunged for the closest man, who fell back onto the ground. My teeth clicked just a tiny distance from his face and Axel stopped me with my leash.
“Jesus!” one of them cried. The two still standing fled out into the night but as the one on the ground shuffled backward Axel advanced, so I was always right on top of him.
“Why did you do this? Who are you working for?” Axel demanded.
“Please. Don’t let your dog hurt me.”
We remained like that for a long moment, and then Axel pulled me back. “It’s okay, Bella. It’s okay,” he said gently.
The third man scrambled to his feet and fled out into the night after his two companions. Moments later, headlights flickered on in the parking lot, and a car roared away.
Axel and I turned to the wreckage of our home. The tent was flattened, the plastic boxes broken, our food scattered. The sadness coming off him in that moment was so profound I actually whined a little, wanting to do anything to provide him comfort, but not knowing what to do.
Axel was able to coax flames from the metal box on the cement. He hauled his blankets and the remnants of the tent over next to it, and we settled in for a miserable night. At first it felt warm, pressed up against him, but gradually my body chilled and my nose and tongue began to ache. I curled up as tightly as I could, my muzzle under my tail. Axel wrapped his arms around me and squeezed, tremors moving through his body. I did not remember ever being this cold. I could not sleep, and neither did Axel. He just clung to me, and I breathed in his scent and wished we would go someplace warm.
At dawn we were up. Axel dug in the snow and found a piece of chicken that sizzled when he put it on the metal box. We shared the paltry meal, and then I glanced up as a familiar car came into the parking lot, its tires hushed on the snow. Tom got out and crunched over to where we were huddled near our meager fire.
“What the hell happened?” he demanded. “Axel, my God.”
“Kids,” Axel said curtly. “Just kids.”
“Jesus.” Tom poked sadly at the mess on the ground. “Did you recognize them?”
Axel looked up at Tom. “Oh yes. I know exactly who they are.”
* * *
Toward the evening of that same day, a procession of cars flowed into the parking lot. Axel stood and I turned to face the possible threat, though I quickly established that one of the people was Tom.
I picked up a few other scents I recognized as well: the three young men from the night before. They came forward with reluctance. Three older men I had never met marched with grim determination behind them.
Tom led the group. They all came in under the roof of the house with no walls, the three younger men holding their eyes stonily to the ground.
“Hey, Axel,” Tom greeted.
“Hi, Tom.” Axel was as calm as I’d seen him in a long time.
“You probably recognize these three,” Tom said.
“They were just visiting last night,” Axel observed wryly.
One of the young men snorted, looking away, and the man behind him stepped forward and poked him roughly between the shoulder blades. “Pay attention!” the man barked.
All three young men snapped their heads up.
“We are really sorry for what our sons did, Axel,” another of the men spoke up from behind.
“No,” Axel said sternly. “I want to hear them speak.”
Tom was regarding Axel with something like surprise.
“We was drunk,” one of the young men said lamely.
“That is not an excuse,” Axel snapped.
The three young men shifted uncomfortably.
“What do you say to Sergeant Rothman?” demanded one of the older men.
“We’re sorry,” the young men mumbled, one after another.
“They’re going to clean things up here while their fathers and I go into town and pick up replacement equipment,” Tom told Axel. “The boys are paying for everything—we made an arrangement. Let’s just say they’re going to have a very busy summer, working for the city, picking up trash.”
“I’ll stay and make sure they get everything done,” one of the older men declared.
“Oh, don’t worry about that,” Axel r
esponded. “I can take care of that.”
The three younger men looked uneasily at each other. Tom grinned.
Some things a dog will never understand. I was confused when Tom and his friends left and the younger men remained behind and picked up things and stacked them while Axel watched with his arms crossed, and I was baffled when the older men returned and set up a different tent and gave us different plastic boxes.
All of the men soon left, except Tom. “I guess I just met the soldier who won the Silver Star,” he said softly.
Axel regarded him coolly. “It’s not something you win, Tom.”
“Sorry, Sergeant.” Tom grinned, but his smile eventually faded. “I just wish you would let people help you, Axel.”
“It’s people who did this to me, Tom,” Axel responded.
* * *
There were many nights when Axel squirmed and muttered and shouted in his sleep, and days when we were both astoundingly cold, clinging to each other for warmth. There were also times, seeming to grow more frequent in occurrence, when Axel would collapse and lie unresponsive, drooling, only to awaken and be sluggish and slow. He seemed sick and I nuzzled him anxiously. I wished Lucas would come. Lucas would know what to do.
Gradually the sun grew warmer and bugs and birds filled the air with their songs. There were squirrels at the park! I wanted to chase them but Axel always held fast to my leash. Dogs came, children played on the slides, and grasses waved moist and healthy in the breeze.
Tom came to feed me a treat. “With the weather, families are coming to the park. You’ll have to move on, technically no one is allowed here after dark,” he told Axel. “And people want to use the shelter but they’re … intimidated.” He sounded mournful.
“Not hurting anybody,” Axel said.
“Well … we’ve had complaints. I’ll hang on to your heater, you like.”
“I’ll leave. Hell with you all,” Axel snarled.
“Now, don’t be that way,” Tom said sadly.
I did not understand any of the words and my name was not mentioned, but Axel put all of his things in the cart and pushed it out of the park. We walked a long way along the road by the river and then turned down a path to where the banks were flat and sandy. Axel rebuilt his tent here and then he settled down in such a way that suggested to me we would not be leaving.