“I think you can trust Gryph to get it back for you.”
“I hope so.” Lady Avylyn cocked a gilded brow in a sly expression. “Do you know, I believe the Shield is quite fascinated by you, Sariana.”
Sariana felt oddly flustered. “Not at all, Lady Avylyn. I’m sure you’re wrong.”
“Trust me. I am more familiar with the many interesting manifestations of romantic attraction than you are, Sariana. I hate to say this, but in some areas your education has been lamentably weak.”
Sariana grinned. “You needn’t name the areas of concern, my lady.”
“Very well, I won’t. But I still think you should be made aware of the fact that the Shield is attracted to you.” The older woman’s dark eyes grew momentarily more serious. “If all he wants is an affair, that is one thing. It would probably be good for you to engage in a wild, passionate fling with a man, any man. We have all been hoping that you and Etion might—”
“Lady Avylyn!”
“Never mind,” Lady Avylyn said hastily. “I just wanted to warn you that if you should decide to become involved with the Shield, you ought to know that they are—well, different. I think I said something to that effect once before. They have their own rules and customs, as I’ve tried to explain.”
“They conduct their love affairs differently than other men?” Sariana asked dryly.
“Well, no, not their love affairs. In that regard, they are quite, uh, normal, I imagine. That is, I have never heard anything to the contrary.”
“Lady Avylyn,” Sariana finally said, amused and exasperated, “what exactly are you trying to warn me about?”
The older woman drew herself up to her most noble height. “Marriage,” she said darkly.
“Marriage!” Sariana felt herself flushing furiously. The knowledge was maddening. “I assure you, marriage is the very last thing on my mind at the moment. And I would certainly have little interest in forming an alliance with a Shield, of all people. Why, Gryph isn’t even of the same social class as myself. We have absolutely nothing in common. The whole notion is quite out of the question.” Sariana knew her own clan would be shocked at the idea.
Lady Avylyn brightened, obviously relieved. “Just as well. Just as well. Shield marriages are, well, never mind. It’s difficult to explain and I’m not sure anybody except a Shield and his mate really understand the relationship, anyway. It’s just that since you weren’t raised here, you don’t know much about Shields and I felt it my duty to warn you that…Never mind. No warnings are necessary as long as you are quite certain that both of you are only interested in having a fling.”
“I’ll tell you a secret, madam. I don’t know what I want.”
“Then my advice is to throw yourself into an affair.” Lady Avylyn tapped Sariana’s wrist with her folded fan. “Indulge yourself in some fun, my dear. It would do you a great deal of good, I’m sure. See you at the buffet.”
Lady Avylyn swung around in a whirl of golden skirts and sailed out of the alcove.
Sariana stared after her. Lady Avylyn was right. The only sort of relationship Sariana could possibly have with Gryph was an affair, and she had been toying with the mildly scandalous, wholly fascinating idea since the night he had found her in the conservatory.
Things were different in the western provinces. One could be a bit reckless and daring and no one would think twice about it. One could even have an affair that crossed class lines and the most anyone would do was smile.
For the past three days Sariana had been mulling the matter over. She had deliberately evaded Gryph while she tried to sort out her own confused feelings on the subject. In the end, she had sat down at her desk and resorted to the management tool of composing a neat little matrix of positives and negatives.
On the positive side, she was unmarried and she was old enough to conduct an affair. She was wise enough to handle it discreetly, which would have been the main requirement back home. She wasn’t sure discretion was terribly important here in the western provinces unless one or both members of the couple were married.
The truth was, she probably wouldn’t have to worry all that much about discretion. She had written that fact into the decision matrix, too. It seemed important. She was an ocean away from her homeland where such things were valued and she was unlikely to ever see anyone here again if she managed to return east next year.
Also on the positive side had been a reluctant admission that she was attracted to Gryph Chassyn in a way she had never known with any other man. She was uncertain about the wisdom of satisfying the compelling curiosity that was growing within her. Yet she thought that, on the while, it might be better to test its depths. It was always better to confront the unknown and deal with it.
She had added that sensible note to the positive side of the matrix, too. The longer she sat at her desk, the longer the list of positives got.
In the end, the negative side of the matrix had contained only one entry; a worrisome note reminding herself that she really had nothing in common with a Shield. The only thing he could possibly want from her was a sexual liaison.
Of course, she told herself now as she watched the couples circle the glittering ballroom, a sexual liaison was all she was looking for too.
Something seemed to be missing in the equation, however. She was afraid to ask what that something might be.
Sariana sipped her punch and wished desperately she knew more about sex and men in general. She had the vague but disturbing sensation that she was standing on the brink of a very sheer cliff.
A faint tapping on the window made Sariana spin around. The diaphanous skirts of her gown swirled weightlessly. She barely stifled a scream when she saw the dark figure on the opposite side of the glass. Then his eyes met hers.
“Gryph!” She saw the way he was clutching one shoulder and a frantic sense of panic set in. He was hurt.
Having got her attention, Gryph stepped back into the shadows of the garden. Sariana didn’t hesitate. She caught up her skirts in one hand and slipped quickly out of the alcove. She passed unnoticed through a tangle of laughing guests and a moment later she was safely out of the ballroom. Once she was clear of the hall, Sariana broke into a run.
A short time later she was on the path that would bring her to the gardens directly outside the alcove. The glow of light through the windows guided her. She was almost on top of Gryph when he materialized out of the shadows. His eyes were silvery pools shimmering with an emotion that might have been pain or lust. Sariana assumed it was pain.
“About time you got here,” he muttered. He was still clutching his shoulder and swaying slightly on his feet. He looked somewhat the way he had the night he’d been drugged with Aunt Perla’s hypnotic potion. “I’m going to need a little help and I didn’t want to startle any of the household attendants.”
“You’re bleeding. There’s blood all over you.”
“Not all of it’s mine. Help me get to my chambers, Sariana.”
Sariana carefully took his uninjured arm and started down the garden path toward the wing of the house that contained their suites. “I’ll send one of the attendants for a medic.”
“No.” Gryph drew a deep breath. “I’ve already been to one. He closed the shoulder and put something on the wound for the pain before I could stop him.”
“Why would you want to stop him from giving you a painkiller?” Sariana demanded.
“I’m a Shield.”
Sariana was incensed. “What difference does that make? Do Shields have to go around proving their bravery by refusing painkillers when they’ve been hurt?”
“Has anyone ever told you that you have all the makings of a scold?” Gryph retorted. “With very little effort you could turn into a complete nag.”
“With you for inspiration, I’m willing to make the effort,” she snapped. “Now tell me what’s going on here. Why
didn’t you want a painkiller?”
“Some kinds of drugs don’t work on a Shield the same way they do on other people. Remember the night you knocked me unconscious with that mild hypnotic you had Mara slip into my ale?” His words sounded increasingly slurred.
Sariana was stricken with guilt. “I didn’t realize it would affect you that way. I was assured it wouldn’t combine with the alcohol into anything more potent than what it already was.”
“It wouldn’t in most people. It does in a Shield. The painkiller the medic used tonight is having a similar effect.”
“You mean you’re about to faint?”
“Not if I can help it,” he told her grimly.
“Gryph, tell me what happened.”
“I got hurt.”
“I can see that! How?”
“Sheer stupidity. Stupidity will do it every time.”
“Does this have anything to do with that missing prisma cutter?” Sariana demanded with sudden intuition.
“It does.”
“I was afraid of that! I had no idea this business was going to become dangerous. We’ll have to go to the town guards after all.”
“No, we will not go to the guards.” The words were carefully and deliberately spaced, each one an immovable block of stone.
“We most certainly will,” Sariana declared. “I don’t want anyone else hurt just to protect the Avylyns’ reputation. I’m in charge of this matter and I will make the decisions.”
“You,” Gryph informed her, voice blurred but no less resolute for that, “are no longer in charge. I am.”
Sariana stared up at him. “Never. Why would you want to be in charge, anyway? You’ve never been particularly enthused about the task of getting back the cutter.”
“Things have changed.”
“What’s changed?” She pushed open a side door and guided Gryph into the hall that led to his suite.
“I’ll explain it all later. Right now I just want some sleep. Do me a favor, Sariana, stop snapping at me and put me to bed. Please.”
She gave up and did exactly that.
Three hours later when Gryph awoke from a restless sleep he was immediately aware of three things. The first was that his shoulder ached. The second was that the chamber seemed much too warm.
The third was that he was not alone in the darkened room. Sariana was curled up in the depths of an armchair beside the bed, sound asleep. It was the first time he had ever seen her in repose. There was a gentle vulnerability about her that made him want to reach out and gather her into the protection of his arms. It had stopped raining and a watery golden moonlight revealed the green satin slippers on the floor beneath the suspended chair. The frothy skirts of her gown formed a pool of gilded green on the cushions. The toes of her stockinged feet poked out from beneath a fold.
An overwhelming wave of desire and longing swept through Gryph. He was in no condition tonight to control it.
Sariana’s lashes stirred and lifted as she sensed his awakening. Her eyes met his and Gryph’s body sang an ancient song as he saw the shy, tremulous, sleepy desire in her gaze. She wanted him.
Without a word he held out his hand. If she came to him now she would be his. He knew that with a triumphant certainty.
Sariana’s gaze drifted down to the hand he had extended across the quilt and then lifted again to his face. He saw the questions and the uncertainty and the feminine caution in her. All his instincts urged him not to hesitate. He should reach out and take hold of her before she lost her nerve and turned to flee.
But another part of him said that all he had to do was wait. It was like catching a scarlet-toe. The victim was her own worst enemy. Sariana was not going to run from him tonight.
Sariana uncurled herself slowly and it was easy to see that she was poised between the urge to flee and the need to stay and learn the secrets of the attraction she was experiencing. Then she got to her feet and walked slowly over to the bed. She reached down and touched Gryph’s fingers wonderingly.
He closed his hand around hers and tugged her down onto the gently swinging bed.
Chapter
6
SARIANA had made her decision as she sat watching him sleep. Gryph was sprawled on top of the rheenfeather quilt, his smoothly muscled body bare from the waist up. Earlier, when she had helped him into bed, Sariana had tried to persuade him to slide beneath the covers but he had refused. He had stripped off his jacket and shirt and dropped, clearly exhausted, on top of the bed.
She had sat watching him until she, too, had fallen asleep. She wasn’t sure what had awakened her a moment ago, but she had been vibrantly aware that she had reached her decision.
Now Sariana allowed herself to be pulled down onto the gently swinging bed without a murmur of protest. This was what she wanted. She knew it in the depths of her being. She was going to take Lady Avylyn’s advice and fling herself headlong into an experience that would be unlike anything she had ever known. Sariana was excited and shocked at her own recklessness, but the reaction only served to heighten her awareness.
Gryph’s eyes were holding hers with unrelenting intensity as he pulled her down to lie beside him. The gleam of moonlight was reflected in his blue-green gaze, creating a thousand tiny shards of light between his black lashes. There was a compelling promise in that gaze, one Sariana could no longer ignore.
This was the man with whom she would explore the boundaries of her own sexuality. She wanted to learn what it would be like to please him and to be pleased in return. She had waited long enough. It was time.
Her senses were filled with wonder and excitement and delight as he settled her beside him on top of the quilt. She was lightheaded with the thrill of it all. Only one thing worried her now.
“Gryph, your shoulder. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”
“Forget my shoulder. I can barely feel it. All I want to feel now is you. By the Ship’s Fire, Sariana, I’ve waited too long for this night. Too long for you.”
“It’s only been a few days, Gryph. We still hardly even know each other.” Her fingers drifted curiously across his chest, stirring the crisp hair that angled down to a point that disappeared beneath the waistband of his trousers. He shuddered and she was enthralled. There was a heady sense of purely female power in knowing she could make him respond like this. She touched him again, this time gently grazing his flat nipple with the tip of her silvered nail. Gryph drew in his breath and his hand tightened on her wrist.
“You don’t understand and I can’t explain it to you now,” he said roughly. “In the morning you will know what tonight means. Come closer, Sariana.”
She obeyed with a shy eagerness, the skirts of her gown flowing across the bed as she nestled against his side and put her head tentatively on his uninjured shoulder. His hand twisted urgently into her hair, loosening the brown-gold mass until it was free of the sleek style in which it had been bound.
“So warm and soft and mysterious.” Gryph lifted a handful of her hair and inhaled deeply. “I want to know all your secrets, Sariana.”
Sariana felt his hard, muscled tension, felt the heat of his body reaching out to envelop her. “You’re the one who is mysterious, Gryph. I don’t know you very well and I’m not at all certain I understand you.”
“But you want me,” he stated.
“I…I think this is what I want. Gryph, this is all so new to me.” She felt a faint twinge of uncertainty that momentarily interfered with the wonderful sense of discovery and excitement.
“We have much to learn about each other, lady, but the learning starts with this.”
He caught her mouth with his own and Sariana gasped at the urgency of his kiss. Behind it lay an unfathomable pool of dark isolation and aloneness, a bottomless spring of masculine need. It blotted out everything, including the flash of uncertainty she had felt moments earlier. N
ow all that mattered was bringing light into that darkness. The only light she had to give him was herself. Sariana trembled but she didn’t pull away as Gryph deepened the kiss.
She was still adjusting physically and emotionally to the compelling feel of his mouth when she felt his hands on the fastenings of her gown. She flinched when he began to undo them impatiently. Some of Sariana’s growing desire was again halted by a tingle of confused uncertainty. Somehow, in the fantasies she had been indulging of late, she had imagined a slower, more sensual prelude.
“Be careful,” she whispered softly. “You’ll ruin the dress.” She didn’t care about the dress, but his implacable intensity was a bit unnerving. She wanted to slow him down.
“To the Lightstorm with the dress. Do you think it matters?” He tugged at the bodice and it came free to her waist. The finely woven chemise she was wearing beneath the gown was revealed. Her flowering nipples pushed upward against the thin fabric.
Gryph groaned and rolled onto his side. He eased Sariana onto her back and stripped the gown completely off her in one swift movement. Then he pushed up the hem of her chemise and peeled off her stockings. His calloused hands were rough on the soft skin of her thighs.
A moment later Gryph yanked the chemise up over her head and Sariana was suddenly nude. He stared down at her, drinking in the sight of her small, full breasts as he ran his hand along the curve of her thigh.
It was all happening too quickly. A belated sense of caution was mingling with her growing confusion and Sariana began to doubt the wisdom of her earlier decision.
“Gryph, wait. You go too fast for me. I need time. Please.”
His eyes were wild, tormented seas in the shadows of the room. “I wanted to give you time but I can’t. Don’t you understand, Sariana?”