Page 16 of Dead Souls

  CHAPTER III

  "If Colonel Koshkarev should turn out to be as mad as the last one itis a bad look-out," said Chichikov to himself on opening his eyes amidfields and open country--everything else having disappeared save thevault of heaven and a couple of low-lying clouds.

  "Selifan," he went on, "did you ask how to get to Colonel Koshkarev's?"

  "Yes, Paul Ivanovitch. At least, there was such a clatter around thekoliaska that I could not; but Petrushka asked the coachman."

  "You fool! How often have I told you not to rely on Petrushka? Petrushkais a blockhead, an idiot. Besides, at the present moment I believe himto be drunk."

  "No, you are wrong, barin," put in the person referred to, turning hishead with a sidelong glance. "After we get down the next hill we shallneed but to keep bending round it. That is all."

  "Yes, and I suppose you'll tell me that sivnkha is the only thing thathas passed your lips? Well, the view at least is beautiful. In fact,when one has seen this place one may say that one has seen one ofthe beauty spots of Europe." This said, Chichikov added to himself,smoothing his chin: "What a difference between the features of acivilised man of the world and those of a common lacquey!"

  Meanwhile the koliaska quickened its pace, and Chichikov once morecaught sight of Tientietnikov's aspen-studded meadows. Undulating gentlyon elastic springs, the vehicle cautiously descended the steep incline,and then proceeded past water-mills, rumbled over a bridge or two, andjolted easily along the rough-set road which traversed the flats. Not amolehill, not a mound jarred the spine. The vehicle was comfort itself.

  Swiftly there flew by clumps of osiers, slender elder trees, andsilver-leaved poplars, their branches brushing against Selifan andPetrushka, and at intervals depriving the valet of his cap. Each timethat this happened, the sullen-faced servitor fell to cursing both thetree responsible for the occurrence and the landowner responsible forthe tree being in existence; yet nothing would induce him thereaftereither to tie on the cap or to steady it with his hand, so complete washis assurance that the accident would never be repeated. Soon to theforegoing trees there became added an occasional birch or spruce fir,while in the dense undergrowth around their roots could be seen the blueiris and the yellow wood-tulip. Gradually the forest grew darker, asthough eventually the obscurity would become complete. Then throughthe trunks and the boughs there began to gleam points of light likeglittering mirrors, and as the number of trees lessened, these pointsgrew larger, until the travellers debouched upon the shore of a lakefour versts or so in circumference, and having on its further marginthe grey, scattered log huts of a peasant village. In the water a greatcommotion was in progress. In the first place, some twenty men, immersedto the knee, to the breast, or to the neck, were dragging a largefishing-net inshore, while, in the second place, there was entangled inthe same, in addition to some fish, a stout man shaped precisely like amelon or a hogshead. Greatly excited, he was shouting at the top of hisvoice: "Let Kosma manage it, you lout of a Denis! Kosma, take the endof the rope from Denis! Don't bear so hard on it, Thoma Bolshoy [41]! Gowhere Thoma Menshov [42] is! Damn it, bring the net to land, will you!"From this it became clear that it was not on his own account that thestout man was worrying. Indeed, he had no need to do so, since his fatwould in any case have prevented him from sinking. Yes, even if hehad turned head over heels in an effort to dive, the water wouldpersistently have borne him up; and the same if, say, a couple of menhad jumped on his back--the only result would have been that he wouldhave become a trifle deeper submerged, and forced to draw breath byspouting bubbles through his nose. No, the cause of his agitation waslest the net should break, and the fish escape: wherefore he was urgingsome additional peasants who were standing on the bank to lay hold ofand to pull at, an extra rope or two.

  "That must be the barin--Colonel Koshkarev," said Selifan.

  "Why?" asked Chichikov.

  "Because, if you please, his skin is whiter than the rest, and he hasthe respectable paunch of a gentleman."

  Meanwhile good progress was being made with the hauling in of the barin;until, feeling the ground with his feet, he rose to an upright position,and at the same moment caught sight of the koliaska, with Chichikovseated therein, descending the declivity.

  "Have you dined yet?" shouted the barin as, still entangled in the net,he approached the shore with a huge fish on his back. With one handshading his eyes from the sun, and the other thrown backwards, helooked, in point of pose, like the Medici Venus emerging from her bath.

  "No," replied Chichikov, raising his cap, and executing a series ofbows.

  "Then thank God for that," rejoined the gentleman.

  "Why?" asked Chichikov with no little curiosity, and still holding hiscap over his head.

  "Because of THIS. Cast off the net, Thoma Menshov, and pick up thatsturgeon for the gentleman to see. Go and help him, Telepen Kuzma."

  With that the peasants indicated picked up by the head what was averitable monster of a fish.

  "Isn't it a beauty--a sturgeon fresh run from the river?" exclaimed thestout barin. "And now let us be off home. Coachman, you can take thelower road through the kitchen garden. Run, you lout of a Thoma Bolshoy,and open the gate for him. He will guide you to the house, and I myselfshall be along presently."

  Thereupon the barelegged Thoma Bolshoy, clad in nothing but a shirt,ran ahead of the koliaska through the village, every hut of which hadhanging in front of it a variety of nets, for the reason that everyinhabitant of the place was a fisherman. Next, he opened a gate into alarge vegetable enclosure, and thence the koliaska emerged into a squarenear a wooden church, with, showing beyond the latter, the roofs of themanorial homestead.

  "A queer fellow, that Koshkarev!" said Chichikov to himself.

  "Well, whatever I may be, at least I'm here," said a voice by his side.Chichikov looked round, and perceived that, in the meanwhile, the barinhad dressed himself and overtaken the carriage. With a pair of yellowtrousers he was wearing a grass-green jacket, and his neck was asguiltless of a collar as Cupid's. Also, as he sat sideways in hisdrozhki, his bulk was such that he completely filled the vehicle.Chichikov was about to make some remark or another when the stoutgentleman disappeared; and presently his drozhki re-emerged into view atthe spot where the fish had been drawn to land, and his voice could beheard reiterating exhortations to his serfs. Yet when Chichikov reachedthe verandah of the house he found, to his intense surprise, the stoutgentleman waiting to welcome the visitor. How he had contrived toconvey himself thither passed Chichikov's comprehension. Host and guestembraced three times, according to a bygone custom of Russia. Evidentlythe barin was one of the old school.

  "I bring you," said Chichikov, "a greeting from his Excellency."

  "From whom?"

  "From your relative General Alexander Dmitrievitch."

  "Who is Alexander Dmitrievitch?"

  "What? You do not know General Alexander Dmitrievitch Betrishev?"exclaimed Chichikov with a touch of surprise.

  "No, I do not," replied the gentleman.

  Chichikov's surprise grew to absolute astonishment.

  "How comes that about?" he ejaculated. "I hope that I have the honour ofaddressing Colonel Koshkarev?"

  "Your hopes are vain. It is to my house, not to his, that you have come;and I am Peter Petrovitch Pietukh--yes, Peter Petrovitch Pietukh."

  Chichikov, dumbfounded, turned to Selifan and Petrushka.

  "What do you mean?" he exclaimed. "I told you to drive to the houseof Colonel Koshkarev, whereas you have brought me to that of PeterPetrovitch Pietukh."

  "All the same, your fellows have done quite right," put in the gentlemanreferred to. "Do you" (this to Selifan and Petrushka) "go to thekitchen, where they will give you a glassful of vodka apiece. Then putup the horses, and be off to the servants' quarters."

  "I regret the mistake extremely," said Chichikov.

  "But it is not a mistake. When you have tried the dinner which I have instore for you, just see whether you think IT a mis
take. Enter, I beg ofyou." And, taking Chichikov by the arm, the host conducted him within,where they were met by a couple of youths.

  "Let me introduce my two sons, home for their holidays from theGymnasium [43]," said Pietukh. "Nikolasha, come and entertain ourgood visitor, while you, Aleksasha, follow me." And with that the hostdisappeared.

  Chichikov turned to Nikolasha, whom he found to be a budding man abouttown, since at first he opened a conversation by stating that, as nogood was to be derived from studying at a provincial institution, he andhis brother desired to remove, rather, to St. Petersburg, the provincesnot being worth living in.

  "I quite understand," Chichikov thought to himself. "The end of thechapter will be confectioners' assistants and the boulevards."

  "Tell me," he added aloud, "how does your father's property at presentstand?"

  "It is all mortgaged," put in the father himself as he re-entered theroom. "Yes, it is all mortgaged, every bit of it."

  "What a pity!" thought Chichikov. "At this rate it will not be longbefore this man has no property at all left. I must hurry my departure."Aloud he said with an air of sympathy: "That you have mortgaged theestate seems to me a matter of regret."

  "No, not at all," replied Pietukh. "In fact, they tell me that it is agood thing to do, and that every one else is doing it. Why should I actdifferently from my neighbours? Moreover, I have had enough of livinghere, and should like to try Moscow--more especially since my sons arealways begging me to give them a metropolitan education."

  "Oh, the fool, the fool!" reflected Chichikov. "He is for throwingup everything and making spendthrifts of his sons. Yet this is a niceproperty, and it is clear that the local peasants are doing well, andthat the family, too, is comfortably off. On the other hand, as soon asever these lads begin their education in restaurants and theatres, thedevil will away with every stick of their substance. For my own part, Icould desire nothing better than this quiet life in the country."

  "Let me guess what is in your mind," said Pietukh.

  "What, then?" asked Chichikov, rather taken aback.

  "You are thinking to yourself: 'That fool of a Pietukh has asked me todinner, yet not a bite of dinner do I see.' But wait a little. It willbe ready presently, for it is being cooked as fast as a maiden who hashad her hair cut off plaits herself a new set of tresses."

  "Here comes Platon Mikhalitch, father!" exclaimed Aleksasha, who hadbeen peeping out of the window.

  "Yes, and on a grey horse," added his brother.

  "Who is Platon Mikhalitch?" inquired Chichikov.

  "A neighbour of ours, and an excellent fellow."

  The next moment Platon Mikhalitch himself entered the room, accompaniedby a sporting dog named Yarb. He was a tall, handsome man, withextremely red hair. As for his companion, it was of the keen-muzzledspecies used for shooting.

  "Have you dined yet?" asked the host.

  "Yes," replied Platon.

  "Indeed! What do you mean by coming here to laugh at us all? Do I evergo to YOUR place after dinner?"

  The newcomer smiled. "Well, if it can bring you any comfort," he said,"let me tell you that I ate nothing at the meal, for I had no appetite."

  "But you should see what I have caught--what sort of a sturgeon fate hasbrought my way! Yes, and what crucians and carp!"

  "Really it tires one to hear you. How come you always to be socheerful?"

  "And how come YOU always to be so gloomy?" retorted the host.

  "How, you ask? Simply because I am so."

  "The truth is you don't eat enough. Try the plan of making a gooddinner. Weariness of everything is a modern invention. Once upon a timeone never heard of it."

  "Well, boast away, but have you yourself never been tired of things?"

  "Never in my life. I do not so much as know whether I should find timeto be tired. In the morning, when one awakes, the cook is waiting, andthe dinner has to be ordered. Then one drinks one's morning tea, andthen the bailiff arrives for HIS orders, and then there is fishing to bedone, and then one's dinner has to be eaten. Next, before one has evenhad a chance to utter a snore, there enters once again the cook, and onehas to order supper; and when she has departed, behold, back she comeswith a request for the following day's dinner! What time does THAT leaveone to be weary of things?"

  Throughout this conversation, Chichikov had been taking stock ofthe newcomer, who astonished him with his good looks, his upright,picturesque figure, his appearance of fresh, unwasted youthfulness,and the boyish purity, innocence, and clarity of his features. Neitherpassion nor care nor aught of the nature of agitation or anxiety of mindhad ventured to touch his unsullied face, or to lay a single wrinklethereon. Yet the touch of life which those emotions might have impartedwas wanting. The face was, as it were, dreaming, even though from timeto time an ironical smile disturbed it.

  "I, too, cannot understand," remarked Chichikov, "how a man of yourappearance can find things wearisome. Of course, if a man is hardpressed for money, or if he has enemies who are lying in wait for hislife (as have certain folk of whom I know), well, then--"

  "Believe me when I say," interrupted the handsome guest, "that, for thesake of a diversion, I should be glad of ANY sort of an anxiety. Wouldthat some enemy would conceive a grudge against me! But no one does so.Everything remains eternally dull."

  "But perhaps you lack a sufficiency of land or souls?"

  "Not at all. I and my brother own ten thousand desiatins [44] of land,and over a thousand souls."

  "Curious! I do not understand it. But perhaps the harvest has failed,or you have sickness about, and many of your male peasants have died ofit?"

  "On the contrary, everything is in splendid order, for my brother is thebest of managers."

  "Then to find things wearisome!" exclaimed Chichikov. "It passes mycomprehension." And he shrugged his shoulders.

  "Well, we will soon put weariness to flight," interrupted the host."Aleksasha, do you run helter-skelter to the kitchen, and there tellthe cook to serve the fish pasties. Yes, and where have that gawk of anEmelian and that thief of an Antoshka got to? Why have they not handedround the zakuski?"

  At this moment the door opened, and the "gawk" and the "thief" inquestion made their appearance with napkins and a tray--the latterbearing six decanters of variously-coloured beverages. These they placedupon the table, and then ringed them about with glasses and platefulsof every conceivable kind of appetiser. That done, the servants appliedthemselves to bringing in various comestibles under covers, throughwhich could be heard the hissing of hot roast viands. In particulardid the "gawk" and the "thief" work hard at their tasks. As a matterof fact, their appellations had been given them merely to spur them togreater activity, for, in general, the barin was no lover of abuse, but,rather, a kind-hearted man who, like most Russians, could not get onwithout a sharp word or two. That is to say, he needed them for histongue as he need a glass of vodka for his digestion. What else couldyou expect? It was his nature to care for nothing mild.

  To the zakuski succeeded the meal itself, and the host became a perfectglutton on his guests' behalf. Should he notice that a guest had takenbut a single piece of a comestible, he added thereto another one,saying: "Without a mate, neither man nor bird can live in this world."Should any one take two pieces, he added thereto a third, saying: "Whatis the good of the number 2? God loves a trinity." Should any onetake three pieces, he would say: "Where do you see a waggon with threewheels? Who builds a three-cornered hut?" Lastly, should any one takefour pieces, he would cap them with a fifth, and add thereto the punningquip, "Na piat opiat [45]". After devouring at least twelve steaksof sturgeon, Chichikov ventured to think to himself, "My host cannotpossibly add to THEM," but found that he was mistaken, for, without aword, Pietukh heaped upon his plate an enormous portion of spit-roastedveal, and also some kidneys. And what veal it was!

  "That calf was fed two years on milk," he explained. "I cared for itlike my own son."

  "Nevertheless I can eat no more," said Chichikov. br />
  "Do you try the veal before you say that you can eat no more."

  "But I could not get it down my throat. There is no room left."

  "If there be no room in a church for a newcomer, the beadle is sent for,and room is very soon made--yes, even though before there was such acrush that an apple couldn't have been dropped between the people. Doyou try the veal, I say. That piece is the titbit of all."

  So Chichikov made the attempt; and in very truth the veal was beyond allpraise, and room was found for it, even though one would have supposedthe feat impossible.

  "Fancy this good fellow removing to St. Petersburg or Moscow!" said theguest to himself. "Why, with a scale of living like this, he would beruined in three years." For that matter, Pietukh might well have beenruined already, for hospitality can dissipate a fortune in three monthsas easily as it can in three years.

  The host also dispensed the wine with a lavish hand, and what the guestsdid not drink he gave to his sons, who thus swallowed glass after glass.Indeed, even before coming to table, it was possible to discern to whatdepartment of human accomplishment their bent was turned. When the mealwas over, however, the guests had no mind for further drinking. Indeed,it was all that they could do to drag themselves on to the balcony,and there to relapse into easy chairs. Indeed, the moment that the hostsubsided into his seat--it was large enough for four--he fell asleep,and his portly presence, converting itself into a sort of blacksmith'sbellows, started to vent, through open mouth and distended nostrils,such sounds as can have greeted the reader's ear but seldom--sounds asof a drum being beaten in combination with the whistling of a flute andthe strident howling of a dog.

  "Listen to him!" said Platon.

  Chichikov smiled.

  "Naturally, on such dinners as that," continued the other, "our hostdoes NOT find the time dull. And as soon as dinner is ended there canensue sleep."

  "Yes, but, pardon me, I still fail to understand why you should findlife wearisome. There are so many resources against ennui!"

  "As for instance?"

  "For a young man, dancing, the playing of one or another musicalinstrument, and--well, yes, marriage."

  "Marriage to whom?"

  "To some maiden who is both charming and rich. Are there none in theseparts?"

  "No."

  "Then, were I you, I should travel, and seek a maiden elsewhere." And abrilliant idea therewith entered Chichikov's head. "This last resource,"he added, "is the best of all resources against ennui."

  "What resource are you speaking of?"

  "Of travel."

  "But whither?"

  "Well, should it so please you, you might join me as my companion." Thissaid, the speaker added to himself as he eyed Platon: "Yes, that wouldsuit me exactly, for then I should have half my expenses paid, and couldcharge him also with the cost of mending the koliaska."

  "And whither should we go?"

  "In that respect I am not wholly my own master, as I have business to dofor others as well as for myself. For instance, General Betristchev--anintimate friend and, I might add, a generous benefactor of mine--hascharged me with commissions to certain of his relatives. However, thoughrelatives are relatives, I am travelling likewise on my own account,since I wish to see the world and the whirligig of humanity--which, inspite of what people may say, is as good as a living book or a secondeducation." As a matter of fact, Chichikov was reflecting, "Yes, theplan is an excellent one. I might even contrive that he should have tobear the whole of our expenses, and that his horses should be used whilemy own should be put out to graze on his farm."

  "Well, why should I not adopt the suggestion?" was Platon's thought."There is nothing for me to do at home, since the management of theestate is in my brother's hands, and my going would cause him noinconvenience. Yes, why should I not do as Chichikov has suggested?"

  Then he added aloud:

  "Would you come and stay with my brother for a couple of days? Otherwisehe might refuse me his consent."

  "With great pleasure," said Chichikov. "Or even for three days."

  "Then here is my hand on it. Let us be off at once." Platon seemedsuddenly to have come to life again.

  "Where are you off to?" put in their host unexpectedly as he rousedhimself and stared in astonishment at the pair. "No, no, my good sirs. Ihave had the wheels removed from your koliaska, Monsieur Chichikov, andhave sent your horse, Platon Mikhalitch, to a grazing ground fifteenversts away. Consequently you must spend the night here, and departto-morrow morning after breakfast."

  What could be done with a man like Pietukh? There was no help for it butto remain. In return, the guests were rewarded with a beautiful springevening, for, to spend the time, the host organised a boating expeditionon the river, and a dozen rowers, with a dozen pairs of oars, conveyedthe party (to the accompaniment of song) across the smooth surface ofthe lake and up a great river with towering banks. From time to time theboat would pass under ropes, stretched across for purposes of fishing,and at each turn of the rippling current new vistas unfolded themselvesas tier upon tier of woodland delighted the eye with a diversity oftimber and foliage. In unison did the rowers ply their sculls, yet itwas though of itself that the skiff shot forward, bird-like, over theglassy surface of the water; while at intervals the broad-shoulderedyoung oarsman who was seated third from the bow would raise, as froma nightingale's throat, the opening staves of a boat song, and then bejoined by five or six more, until the melody had come to pour forth in avolume as free and boundless as Russia herself. And Pietukh, too, wouldgive himself a shake, and help lustily to support the chorus; and evenChichikov felt acutely conscious of the fact that he was a Russian. OnlyPlaton reflected: "What is there so splendid in these melancholy songs?They do but increase one's depression of spirits."

  The journey homeward was made in the gathering dusk. Rhythmically theoars smote a surface which no longer reflected the sky, and darkness hadfallen when they reached the shore, along which lights were twinklingwhere the fisherfolk were boiling live eels for soup. Everything had nowwended its way homeward for the night; the cattle and poultry hadbeen housed, and the herdsmen, standing at the gates of the villagecattle-pens, amid the trailing dust lately raised by their charges,were awaiting the milk-pails and a summons to partake of the eel-broth.Through the dusk came the hum of humankind, and the barking of dogs inother and more distant villages; while, over all, the moon was rising,and the darkened countryside was beginning to glimmer to light againunder her beams. What a glorious picture! Yet no one thought of admiringit. Instead of galloping over the countryside on frisky cobs,Nikolasha and Aleksasha were engaged in dreaming of Moscow, with itsconfectioners' shops and the theatres of which a cadet, newly arrived ona visit from the capital, had just been telling them; while their fatherhad his mind full of how best to stuff his guests with yet more food,and Platon was given up to yawning. Only in Chichikov was a spice ofanimation visible. "Yes," he reflected, "some day I, too, will becomelord of such a country place." And before his mind's eye there arosealso a helpmeet and some little Chichikovs.

  By the time that supper was finished the party had again over-eatenthemselves, and when Chichikov entered the room allotted him for thenight, he lay down upon the bed, and prodded his stomach. "It is astight as a drum," he said to himself. "Not another titbit of veal couldnow get into it." Also, circumstances had so brought it about thatnext door to him there was situated his host's apartment; and since theintervening wall was thin, Chichikov could hear every word that wassaid there. At the present moment the master of the house was engaged ingiving the cook orders for what, under the guise of an early breakfast,promised to constitute a veritable dinner. You should have heardPietukh's behests! They would have excited the appetite of a corpse.

  "Yes," he said, sucking his lips, and drawing a deep breath, "in thefirst place, make a pasty in four divisions. Into one of the divisionsput the sturgeon's cheeks and some viaziga [46], and into anotherdivision some buckwheat porridge, young mushrooms and onions,sweet milk, ca
lves' brains, and anything else that you may findsuitable--anything else that you may have got handy. Also, bake thepastry to a nice brown on one side, and but lightly on the other. Yes,and, as to the under side, bake it so that it will be all juicy andflaky, so that it shall not crumble into bits, but melt in the mouthlike the softest snow that ever you heard of." And as he said thisPietukh fairly smacked his lips.

  "The devil take him!" muttered Chichikov, thrusting his head beneath thebedclothes to avoid hearing more. "The fellow won't give one a chance tosleep."

  Nevertheless he heard through the blankets:

  "And garnish the sturgeon with beetroot, smelts, peppered mushrooms,young radishes, carrots, beans, and anything else you like, so as tohave plenty of trimmings. Yes, and put a lump of ice into the pig'sbladder, so as to swell it up."

  Many other dishes did Pietukh order, and nothing was to be heard buthis talk of boiling, roasting, and stewing. Finally, just as mention wasbeing made of a turkey cock, Chichikov fell asleep.

  Next morning the guest's state of repletion had reached the pointof Platon being unable to mount his horse; wherefore the latter wasdispatched homeward with one of Pietukh's grooms, and the two guestsentered Chichikov's koliaska. Even the dog trotted lazily in the rear;for he, too, had over-eaten himself.

  "It has been rather too much of a good thing," remarked Chichikov as thevehicle issued from the courtyard.

  "Yes, and it vexes me to see the fellow never tire of it," repliedPlaton.

  "Ah," thought Chichikov to himself, "if _I_ had an income of seventythousand roubles, as you have, I'd very soon give tiredness one inthe eye! Take Murazov, the tax-farmer--he, again, must be worth tenmillions. What a fortune!"

  "Do you mind where we drive?" asked Platon. "I should like first to goand take leave of my sister and my brother-in-law."

  "With pleasure," said Chichikov.

  "My brother-in-law is the leading landowner hereabouts. At the presentmoment he is drawing an income of two hundred thousand roubles from aproperty which, eight years ago, was producing a bare twenty thousand."

  "Truly a man worthy of the utmost respect! I shall be most interested tomake his acquaintance. To think of it! And what may his family name be?"

  "Kostanzhoglo."

  "And his Christian name and patronymic?"

  "Constantine Thedorovitch."

  "Constantine Thedorovitch Kostanzhoglo. Yes, it will be a mostinteresting event to make his acquaintance. To know such a man must be awhole education."

  Here Platon set himself to give Selifan some directions as to the way,a necessary proceeding in view of the fact that Selifan could hardlymaintain his seat on the box. Twice Petrushka, too, had fallen headlong,and this necessitated being tied to his perch with a piece of rope."What a clown!" had been Chichikov's only comment.

  "This is where my brother-in-law's land begins," said Platon.

  "They give one a change of view."

  And, indeed, from this point the countryside became planted with timber;the rows of trees running as straight as pistol-shots, and having beyondthem, and on higher ground, a second expanse of forest, newly plantedlike the first; while beyond it, again, loomed a third plantation ofolder trees. Next there succeeded a flat piece of the same nature.

  "All this timber," said Platon, "has grown up within eight or ten yearsat the most; whereas on another man's land it would have taken twenty toattain the same growth."

  "And how has your brother-in-law effected this?"

  "You must ask him yourself. He is so excellent a husbandman that nothingever fails with him. You see, he knows the soil, and also knows whatought to be planted beside what, and what kinds of timber are the bestneighbourhood for grain. Again, everything on his estate is made toperform at least three or four different functions. For instance, hemakes his timber not only serve as timber, but also serve as a providerof moisture and shade to a given stretch of land, and then as afertiliser with its fallen leaves. Consequently, when everywhere elsethere is drought, he still has water, and when everywhere else therehas been a failure of the harvest, on his lands it will have proved asuccess. But it is a pity that I know so little about it all as to beunable to explain to you his many expedients. Folk call him a wizard,for he produces so much. Nevertheless, personally I find what he doesuninteresting."

  "Truly an astonishing fellow!" reflected Chichikov with a glance at hiscompanion. "It is sad indeed to see a man so superficial as to be unableto explain matters of this kind."

  At length the manor appeared in sight--an establishment looking almostlike a town, so numerous were the huts where they stood arranged inthree tiers, crowned with three churches, and surrounded with huge ricksand barns. "Yes," thought Chichikov to himself, "one can see what ajewel of a landowner lives here." The huts in question were stoutlybuilt and the intervening alleys well laid-out; while, wherever a waggonwas visible, it looked serviceable and more or less new. Also, the localpeasants bore an intelligent look on their faces, the cattle were of thebest possible breed, and even the peasants' pigs belonged to the porcinearistocracy. Clearly there dwelt here peasants who, to quote thesong, were accustomed to "pick up silver by the shovelful." Nor wereEnglishified gardens and parterres and other conceits in evidence, but,on the contrary, there ran an open view from the manor house to thefarm buildings and the workmen's cots, so that, after the old Russianfashion, the barin should be able to keep an eye upon all that was goingon around him. For the same purpose, the mansion was topped with a talllantern and a superstructure--a device designed, not for ornament,nor for a vantage-spot for the contemplation of the view, but forsupervision of the labourers engaged in distant fields. Lastly, thebrisk, active servants who received the visitors on the verandah werevery different menials from the drunken Petrushka, even though they didnot wear swallow-tailed coats, but only Cossack tchekmenu [47] of bluehomespun cloth.

  The lady of the house also issued on to the verandah. With her face ofthe freshness of "blood and milk" and the brightness of God's daylight,she as nearly resembled Platon as one pea resembles another, save that,whereas he was languid, she was cheerful and full of talk.

  "Good day, brother!" she cried. "How glad I am to see you! Constantineis not at home, but will be back presently."

  "Where is he?"

  "Doing business in the village with a party of factors," replied thelady as she conducted her guests to the drawing-room.

  With no little curiosity did Chichikov gaze at the interior of themansion inhabited by the man who received an annual income of twohundred thousand roubles; for he thought to discern therefrom the natureof its proprietor, even as from a shell one may deduce the species ofoyster or snail which has been its tenant, and has left therein itsimpression. But no such conclusions were to be drawn. The rooms weresimple, and even bare. Not a fresco nor a picture nor a bronze nor aflower nor a china what-not nor a book was there to be seen. In short,everything appeared to show that the proprietor of this abode spent thegreater part of his time, not between four walls, but in the field, andthat he thought out his plans, not in sybaritic fashion by the fireside,nor in an easy chair beside the stove, but on the spot where work wasactually in progress--that, in a word, where those plans were conceived,there they were put into execution. Nor in these rooms could Chichikovdetect the least trace of a feminine hand, beyond the fact thatcertain tables and chairs bore drying-boards whereon were arranged somesprinklings of flower petals.

  "What is all this rubbish for?" asked Platon.

  "It is not rubbish," replied the lady of the house. "On the contrary, itis the best possible remedy for fever. Last year we cured every one ofour sick peasants with it. Some of the petals I am going to make into anointment, and some into an infusion. You may laugh as much as you likeat my potting and preserving, yet you yourself will be glad of things ofthe kind when you set out on your travels."

  Platon moved to the piano, and began to pick out a note or two.

  "Good Lord, what an ancient instrument!" he exclaimed. "Are you notas
hamed of it, sister?"

  "Well, the truth is that I get no time to practice my music. You see,"she added to Chichikov, "I have an eight-year-old daughter to educate;and to hand her over to a foreign governess in order that I may haveleisure for my own piano-playing--well, that is a thing which I couldnever bring myself to do."

  "You have become a wearisome sort of person," commented Platon, andwalked away to the window. "Ah, here comes Constantine," presently headded.

  Chichikov also glanced out of the window, and saw approaching theverandah a brisk, swarthy-complexioned man of about forty, a man clad ina rough cloth jacket and a velveteen cap. Evidently he was one of thosewho care little for the niceties of dress. With him, bareheaded, therecame a couple of men of a somewhat lower station in life, and allthree were engaged in an animated discussion. One of the barin's twocompanions was a plain peasant, and the other (clad in a blue Siberiansmock) a travelling factor. The fact that the party halted awhile bythe entrance steps made it possible to overhear a portion of theirconversation from within.

  "This is what you peasants had better do," the barin was saying."Purchase your release from your present master. I will lend you thenecessary money, and afterwards you can work for me."

  "No, Constantine Thedorovitch," replied the peasant. "Why should we dothat? Remove us just as we are. You will know how to arrange it, for acleverer gentleman than you is nowhere to be found. The misfortune of usmuzhiks is that we cannot protect ourselves properly. The tavern-keeperssell us such liquor that, before a man knows where he is, a glassful ofit has eaten a hole through his stomach, and made him feel as thoughhe could drink a pail of water. Yes, it knocks a man over before he canlook around. Everywhere temptation lies in wait for the peasant, and heneeds to be cunning if he is to get through the world at all. In fact,things seem to be contrived for nothing but to make us peasants loseour wits, even to the tobacco which they sell us. What are folk likeourselves to do, Constantine Thedorovitch? I tell you it is terriblydifficult for a muzhik to look after himself."

  "Listen to me. This is how things are done here. When I take on a serf,I fit him out with a cow and a horse. On the other hand, I demand of himthereafter more than is demanded of a peasant anywhere else. That is tosay, first and foremost I make him work. Whether a peasant be workingfor himself or for me, never do I let him waste time. I myself toil likea bullock, and I force my peasants to do the same, for experiencehas taught me that that is the only way to get through life. All themischief in the world comes through lack of employment. Now, do you goand consider the matter, and talk it over with your mir [48]."

  "We have done that already, Constantine Thedorovitch, and our elders'opinion is: 'There is no need for further talk. Every peasant belongingto Constantine Thedorovitch is well off, and hasn't to work for nothing.The priests of his village, too, are men of good heart, whereas ourshave been taken away, and there is no one to bury us.'"

  "Nevertheless, do you go and talk the matter over again."

  "We will, barin."

  Here the factor who had been walking on the barin's other side put in aword.

  "Constantine Thedorovitch," he said, "I beg of you to do as I haverequested."

  "I have told you before," replied the barin, "that I do not care to playthe huckster. I am not one of those landowners whom fellows of your sortvisit on the very day that the interest on a mortgage is due. Ah, I knowyour fraternity thoroughly, and know that you keep lists of all who havemortgages to repay. But what is there so clever about that? Any man,if you pinch him sufficiently, will surrender you a mortgage athalf-price,--any man, that is to say, except myself, who care nothingfor your money. Were a loan of mine to remain out three years, I shouldnever demand a kopeck of interest on it."

  "Quite so, Constantine Thedorovitch," replied the factor. "But I amasking this of you more for the purpose of establishing us on a businessfooting than because I desire to win your favour. Prey, therefore,accept this earnest money of three thousand roubles." And the man drewfrom his breast pocket a dirty roll of bank-notes, which, carelesslyreceiving, Kostanzhoglo thrust, uncounted, into the back pocket of hisovercoat.

  "Hm!" thought Chichikov. "For all he cares, the notes might have been ahandkerchief."

  When Kostanzhoglo appeared at closer quarters--that is to say, in thedoorway of the drawing-room--he struck Chichikov more than ever with theswarthiness of his complexion, the dishevelment of his black, slightlygrizzled locks, the alertness of his eye, and the impression of fierysouthern origin which his whole personality diffused. For he was notwholly a Russian, nor could he himself say precisely who his forefathershad been. Yet, inasmuch as he accounted genealogical research no part ofthe science of estate-management, but a mere superfluity, he looked uponhimself as, to all intents and purposes, a native of Russia, and themore so since the Russian language was the only tongue he knew.

  Platon presented Chichikov, and the pair exchanged greetings.

  "To get rid of my depression, Constantine," continued Platon, "I amthinking of accompanying our guest on a tour through a few of theprovinces."

  "An excellent idea," said Kostanzhoglo. "But precisely whither?" headded, turning hospitably to Chichikov.

  "To tell you the truth," replied that personage with an affableinclination of the head as he smoothed the arm of his chair with hishand, "I am travelling less on my own affairs than on the affairs ofothers. That is to say, General Betristchev, an intimate friend, and,I might add, a generous benefactor, of mine, has charged me withcommissions to some of his relatives. Nevertheless, though relatives arerelatives, I may say that I am travelling on my own account as well, inthat, in addition to possible benefit to my health, I desire to see theworld and the whirligig of humanity, which constitute, so to speak, aliving book, a second course of education."

  "Yes, there is no harm in looking at other corners of the world besidesone's own."

  "You speak truly. There IS no harm in such a proceeding. Thereby one maysee things which one has not before encountered, one may meet men withwhom one has not before come in contact. And with some men of that kinda conversation is as precious a benefit as has been conferred upon meby the present occasion. I come to you, most worthy ConstantineThedorovitch, for instruction, and again for instruction, and beg of youto assuage my thirst with an exposition of the truth as it is. I hungerfor the favour of your words as for manna."

  "But how so? What can _I_ teach you?" exclaimed Kostanzhoglo inconfusion. "I myself was given but the plainest of educations."

  "Nay, most worthy sir, you possess wisdom, and again wisdom. Wisdom onlycan direct the management of a great estate, that can derive asound income from the same, that can acquire wealth of a real, not afictitious, order while also fulfilling the duties of a citizen andthereby earning the respect of the Russian public. All this I pray youto teach me."

  "I tell you what," said Kostanzhoglo, looking meditatively at his guest."You had better stay with me for a few days, and during that time I canshow you how things are managed here, and explain to you everything.Then you will see for yourself that no great wisdom is required for thepurpose."

  "Yes, certainly you must stay here," put in the lady of the house. Then,turning to her brother, she added: "And you too must stay. Why shouldyou be in such a hurry?"

  "Very well," he replied. "But what say YOU, Paul Ivanovitch?"

  "I say the same as you, and with much pleasure," replied Chichikov."But also I ought to tell you this: that there is a relative of GeneralBetristchev's, a certain Colonel Koshkarev--"

  "Yes, we know him; but he is quite mad."

  "As you say, he is mad, and I should not have been intending to visithim, were it not that General Betristchev is an intimate friend of mine,as well as, I might add, my most generous benefactor."

  "Then," said Kostanzhoglo, "do you go and see Colonel Koshkarev NOW.He lives less than ten versts from here, and I have a gig alreadyharnessed. Go to him at once, and return here for tea."

  "An excellent idea!" cried Chichikov,
and with that he seized his cap.

  Half an hour's drive sufficed to bring him to the Colonel'sestablishment. The village attached to the manor was in a state of utterconfusion, since in every direction building and repairing operationswere in progress, and the alleys were choked with heaps of lime, bricks,and beams of wood. Also, some of the huts were arranged to resembleoffices, and superscribed in gilt letters "Depot for AgriculturalImplements," "Chief Office of Accounts," "Estate Works Committee,""Normal School for the Education of Colonists," and so forth.

  Chichikov found the Colonel posted behind a desk and holding a penbetween his teeth. Without an instant's delay the master of theestablishment--who seemed a kindly, approachable man, and accorded tohis visitor a very civil welcome--plunged into a recital of the labourwhich it had cost him to bring the property to its present condition ofaffluence. Then he went on to lament the fact that he could not makehis peasantry understand the incentives to labour which the richesof science and art provide; for instance, he had failed to induce hisfemale serfs to wear corsets, whereas in Germany, where he had residedfor fourteen years, every humble miller's daughter could play the piano.None the less, he said, he meant to peg away until every peasant onthe estate should, as he walked behind the plough, indulge in a regularcourse of reading Franklin's Notes on Electricity, Virgil's Georgics, orsome work on the chemical properties of soil.

  "Good gracious!" mentally exclaimed Chichikov. "Why, I myself have nothad time to finish that book by the Duchesse de la Valliere!"

  Much else the Colonel said. In particular did he aver that, providedthe Russian peasant could be induced to array himself in German costume,science would progress, trade increase, and the Golden Age dawn inRussia.

  For a while Chichikov listened with distended eyes. Then he feltconstrained to intimate that with all that he had nothing to do, seeingthat his business was merely to acquire a few souls, and thereafter tohave their purchase confirmed.

  "If I understand you aright," said the Colonel, "you wish to present aStatement of Plea?"

  "Yes, that is so."

  "Then kindly put it into writing, and it shall be forwarded to theOffice for the Reception of Reports and Returns. Thereafter that Officewill consider it, and return it to me, who will, in turn, dispatch it tothe Estate Works Committee, who will, in turn, revise it, and present itto the Administrator, who, jointly with the Secretary, will--"

  "Pardon me," expostulated Chichikov, "but that procedure will take up agreat deal of time. Why need I put the matter into writing at all? It issimply this. I want a few souls which are--well, which are, so to speak,dead."

  "Very good," commented the Colonel. "Do you write down in your Statementof Plea that the souls which you desire are, 'so to speak, dead.'"

  "But what would be the use of my doing so? Though the souls are dead, mypurpose requires that they should be represented as alive."

  "Very good," again commented the Colonel. "Do you write down in yourStatement that 'it is necessary' (or, should you prefer an alternativephrase, 'it is requested,' or 'it is desiderated,' or 'it is prayed,')'that the souls be represented as alive.' At all events, WITHOUTdocumentary process of that kind, the matter cannot possibly be carriedthrough. Also, I will appoint a Commissioner to guide you round thevarious Offices."

  And he sounded a bell; whereupon there presented himself a man whom,addressing as "Secretary," the Colonel instructed to summon the"Commissioner." The latter, on appearing, was seen to have the air, halfof a peasant, half of an official.

  "This man," the Colonel said to Chichikov, "will act as your escort."

  What could be done with a lunatic like Koshkarev? In the end, curiositymoved Chichikov to accompany the Commissioner. The Committee for theReception of Reports and Returns was discovered to have put up itsshutters, and to have locked its doors, for the reason that the Directorof the Committee had been transferred to the newly-formed Committeeof Estate Management, and his successor had been annexed by the sameCommittee. Next, Chichikov and his escort rapped at the doors of theDepartment of Estate Affairs; but that Department's quarters happened tobe in a state of repair, and no one could be made to answer thesummons save a drunken peasant from whom not a word of sense was to beextracted. At length the escort felt himself moved to remark:

  "There is a deal of foolishness going on here. Fellows like thatdrunkard lead the barin by the nose, and everything is ruled by theCommittee of Management, which takes men from their proper work, andsets them to do any other it likes. Indeed, only through the Committeedoes ANYTHING get done."

  By this time Chichikov felt that he had seen enough; wherefore hereturned to the Colonel, and informed him that the Office for theReception of Reports and Returns had ceased to exist. At once theColonel flamed to noble rage. Pressing Chichikov's hand in token ofgratitude for the information which the guest had furnished, he tookpaper and pen, and noted eight searching questions under three separateheadings: (1) "Why has the Committee of Management presumed to issueorders to officials not under its jurisdiction?" (2) "Why has the ChiefManager permitted his predecessor, though still in retention of hispost, to follow him to another Department?" and (3) "Why has theCommittee of Estate Affairs suffered the Office for the Reception ofReports and Returns to lapse?"

  "Now for a row!" thought Chichikov to himself, and turned to depart; buthis host stopped him, saying:

  "I cannot let you go, for, in addition to my honour having becomeinvolved, it behoves me to show my people how the regular, theorganised, administration of an estate may be conducted. Herewith I willhand over the conduct of your affair to a man who is worth all the restof the staff put together, and has had a university education. Also, thebetter to lose no time, may I humbly beg you to step into my library,where you will find notebooks, paper, pens, and everything else thatyou may require. Of these articles pray make full use, for you area gentleman of letters, and it is your and my joint duty to bringenlightenment to all."

  So saying, he ushered his guest into a large room lined from floor toceiling with books and stuffed specimens. The books in questionwere divided into sections--a section on forestry, a section oncattle-breeding, a section on the raising of swine, and a section onhorticulture, together with special journals of the type circulatedmerely for the purposes of reference, and not for general reading.Perceiving that these works were scarcely of a kind calculated to whileaway an idle hour, Chichikov turned to a second bookcase. But to do sowas to fall out of the frying-pan into the fire, for the contents of thesecond bookcase proved to be works on philosophy, while, in particular,six huge volumes confronted him under a label inscribed "A PreparatoryCourse to the Province of Thought, with the Theory of Community ofEffort, Co-operation, and Subsistence, in its Application to a RightUnderstanding of the Organic Principles of a Mutual Division ofSocial Productivity." Indeed, wheresoever Chichikov looked, every pagepresented to his vision some such words as "phenomenon," "development,""abstract," "contents," and "synopsis." "This is not the sort of thingfor me," he murmured, and turned his attention to a third bookcase,which contained books on the Arts. Extracting a huge tome in which someby no means reticent mythological illustrations were contained, he sethimself to examine these pictures. They were of the kind which pleasesmostly middle-aged bachelors and old men who are accustomed to seekin the ballet and similar frivolities a further spur to their waningpassions. Having concluded his examination, Chichikov had just extractedanother volume of the same species when Colonel Koshkarev returned witha document of some sort and a radiant countenance.

  "Everything has been carried through in due form!" he cried. "The manwhom I mentioned is a genius indeed, and I intend not only to promotehim over the rest, but also to create for him a special Department.Herewith shall you hear what a splendid intellect is his, and how in afew minutes he has put the whole affair in order."

  "May the Lord be thanked for that!" thought Chichikov. Then he settledhimself while the Colonel read aloud:

  "'After giving full consideration to the Referenc
e which your Excellencyhas entrusted to me, I have the honour to report as follows:

  "'(1) In the Statement of Plea presented by one Paul IvanovitchChichikov, Gentleman, Chevalier, and Collegiate Councillor, therelurks an error, in that an oversight has led the Petitioner to apply toRevisional Souls the term "Dead." Now, from the context it would appearthat by this term the Petitioner desires to signify Souls ApproachingDeath rather than Souls Actually Deceased: wherefore the term employedbetrays such an empirical instruction in letters as must, beyond doubt,have been confined to the Village School, seeing that in truth the Soulis Deathless.'

  "The rascal!" Koshkarev broke off to exclaim delightedly. "He hasgot you there, Monsieur Chichikov. And you will admit that he has asufficiently incisive pen?

  "'(2) On this Estate there exist no Unmortgaged Souls whatsoever,whether Approaching Death or Otherwise; for the reason that all Soulsthereon have been pledged not only under a First Deed of Mortgage, butalso (for the sum of One Hundred and Fifty Roubles per Soul) undera Second,--the village of Gurmailovka alone excepted, in that,in consequence of a Suit having been brought against LandownerPriadistchev, and of a caveat having been pronounced by the Land Court,and of such caveat having been published in No. 42 of the Gazette ofMoscow, the said Village has come within the Jurisdiction of the CourtAbove-Mentioned."

  "Why did you not tell me all this before?" cried Chichikov furiously."Why you have kept me dancing about for nothing?"

  "Because it was absolutely necessary that you should view the matterthrough forms of documentary process. This is no jest on my part. Theinexperienced may see things subconsciously, yet it is imperative thathe should also see them CONSCIOUSLY."

  But to Chichikov's patience an end had come. Seizing his cap, andcasting all ceremony to the winds, he fled from the house, and rushedthrough the courtyard. As it happened, the man who had driven himthither had, warned by experience, not troubled even to take out thehorses, since he knew that such a proceeding would have entailed notonly the presentation of a Statement of Plea for fodder, but also adelay of twenty-four hours until the Resolution granting the same shouldhave been passed. Nevertheless the Colonel pursued his guest to thegates, and pressed his hand warmly as he thanked him for having enabledhim (the Colonel) thus to exhibit in operation the proper management ofan estate. Also, he begged to state that, under the circumstances, itwas absolutely necessary to keep things moving and circulating, since,otherwise, slackness was apt to supervene, and the working of themachine to grow rusty and feeble; but that, in spite of all, thepresent occasion had inspired him with a happy idea--namely, the ideaof instituting a Committee which should be entitled "The Committee ofSupervision of the Committee of Management," and which should havefor its function the detection of backsliders among the body firstmentioned.

  It was late when, tired and dissatisfied, Chichikov regainedKostanzhoglo's mansion. Indeed, the candles had long been lit.

  "What has delayed you?" asked the master of the house as Chichikoventered the drawing-room.

  "Yes, what has kept you and the Colonel so long in conversationtogether?" added Platon.

  "This--the fact that never in my life have I come across such animbecile," was Chichikov's reply.

  "Never mind," said Kostanzhoglo. "Koshkarev is a most reassuringphenomenon. He is necessary in that in him we see expressed incaricature all the more crying follies of our intellectuals--of theintellectuals who, without first troubling to make themselves acquaintedwith their own country, borrow silliness from abroad. Yet that ishow certain of our landowners are now carrying on. They have set up'offices' and factories and schools and 'commissions,' and the devilknows what else besides. A fine lot of wiseacres! After the French Warin 1812 they had to reconstruct their affairs: and see how they havedone it! Yet so much worse have they done it than a Frenchman would havedone that any fool of a Peter Petrovitch Pietukh now ranks as a goodlandowner!"

  "But he has mortgaged the whole of his estate?" remarked Chichikov.

  "Yes, nowadays everything is being mortgaged, or is going to be." Thissaid, Kostanzhoglo's temper rose still further. "Out upon your factoriesof hats and candles!" he cried. "Out upon procuring candle-makersfrom London, and then turning landowners into hucksters! To think ofa Russian pomiestchik [49], a member of the noblest of callings,conducting workshops and cotton mills! Why, it is for the wenches oftowns to handle looms for muslin and lace."

  "But you yourself maintain workshops?" remarked Platon.

  "I do; but who established them? They established themselves. Forinstance, wool had accumulated, and since I had nowhere to store it, Ibegan to weave it into cloth--but, mark you, only into good, plain clothof which I can dispose at a cheap rate in the local markets, and whichis needed by peasants, including my own. Again, for six years on enddid the fish factories keep dumping their offal on my bank of the river;wherefore, at last, as there was nothing to be done with it, I tookto boiling it into glue, and cleared forty thousand roubles by theprocess."

  "The devil!" thought Chichikov to himself as he stared at his host."What a fist this man has for making money!"

  "Another reason why I started those factories," continued Kostanzhoglo,"is that they might give employment to many peasants who would otherwisehave starved. You see, the year happened to have been a lean one--thanksto those same industry-mongering landowners, in that they had neglectedto sow their crops; and now my factories keep growing at the rate ofa factory a year, owing to the circumstance that such quantitiesof remnants and cuttings become so accumulated that, if a man lookscarefully to his management, he will find every sort of rubbish to becapable of bringing in a return--yes, to the point of his having toreject money on the plea that he has no need of it. Yet I do not findthat to do all this I require to build a mansion with facades andpillars!"

  "Marvellous!" exclaimed Chichikov. "Beyond all things does it surpriseme that refuse can be so utilised."

  "Yes, and that is what can be done by SIMPLE methods. But nowadays everyone is a mechanic, and wants to open that money chest with an instrumentinstead of simply. For that purpose he hies him to England. Yes, THAT isthe thing to do. What folly!" Kostanzhoglo spat and added: "Yet whenhe returns from abroad he is a hundred times more ignorant than when hewent."

  "Ah, Constantine," put in his wife anxiously, "you know how bad for youit is to talk like this."

  "Yes, but how am I to help losing my temper? The thing touches me tooclosely, it vexes me too deeply to think that the Russian charactershould be degenerating. For in that character there has dawned a sort ofQuixotism which never used to be there. Yes, no sooner does a man geta little education into his head than he becomes a Don Quixote, andestablishes schools on his estate such as even a madman would never havedreamed of. And from that school there issues a workman who is good fornothing, whether in the country or in the town--a fellow who drinksand is for ever standing on his dignity. Yet still our landowners keeptaking to philanthropy, to converting themselves into philanthropicknights-errant, and spending millions upon senseless hospitals andinstitutions, and so ruining themselves and turning their familiesadrift. Yes, that is all that comes of philanthropy."

  Chichikov's business had nothing to do with the spread of enlightenment,he was but seeking an opportunity to inquire further concerning theputting of refuse to lucrative uses; but Kostanzhoglo would not lethim get a word in edgeways, so irresistibly did the flow of sarcasticcomment pour from the speaker's lips.

  "Yes," went on Kostanzhoglo, "folk are always scheming to educate thepeasant. But first make him well-off and a good farmer. THEN he willeducate himself fast enough. As things are now, the world has grownstupid to a degree that passes belief. Look at the stuff our present-dayscribblers write! Let any sort of a book be published, and at once youwill see every one making a rush for it. Similarly will you findfolk saying: 'The peasant leads an over-simple life. He ought to befamiliarised with luxuries, and so led to yearn for things above hisstation.' And the result of such luxuries will be that the peasant wi
llbecome a rag rather than a man, and suffer from the devil only knowswhat diseases, until there will remain in the land not a boy of eighteenwho will not have experienced the whole gamut of them, and found himselfleft with not a tooth in his jaws or a hair on his pate. Yes, that iswhat will come of infecting the peasant with such rubbish. But, thankGod, there is still one healthy class left to us--a class which hasnever taken up with the 'advantages' of which I speak. For that we oughtto be grateful. And since, even yet, the Russian agriculturist remainsthe most respect-worthy man in the land, why should he be touched? Wouldto God every one were an agriculturist!"

  "Then you believe agriculture to be the most profitable of occupations?"said Chichikov.

  "The best, at all events--if not the most profitable. 'In the sweatof thy brow shalt thou till the land.' To quote that requires nogreat wisdom, for the experience of ages has shown us that, in theagricultural calling, man has ever remained more moral, more pure, morenoble than in any other. Of course I do not mean to imply that no othercalling ought to be practised: simply that the calling in question liesat the root of all the rest. However much factories may be establishedprivately or by the law, there will still lie ready to man's hand allthat he needs--he will still require none of those amenities whichare sapping the vitality of our present-day folk, nor any of thoseindustrial establishments which make their profit, and keep themselvesgoing, by causing foolish measures to be adopted which, in the end,are bound to deprave and corrupt our unfortunate masses. I myself amdetermined never to establish any manufacture, however profitable,which will give rise to a demand for 'higher things,' such as sugarand tobacco--no not if I lose a million by my refusing to do so. Ifcorruption MUST overtake the MIR, it shall not be through my hands.And I think that God will justify me in my resolve. Twenty years haveI lived among the common folk, and I know what will inevitably come ofsuch things."

  "But what surprises me most," persisted Chichikov, "is that from refuseit should be possible, with good management, to make such an immensityof profit."

  "And as for political economy," continued Kostanzhoglo, without noticinghim, and with his face charged with bilious sarcasm, "--as for politicaleconomy, it is a fine thing indeed. Just one fool sitting on anotherfool's back, and flogging him along, even though the rider can seeno further than his own nose! Yet into the saddle will that foolclimb--spectacles and all! Oh, the folly, the folly of such things!" Andthe speaker spat derisively.

  "That may be true," said his wife. "Yet you must not get angry about it.Surely one can speak on such subjects without losing one's temper?"

  "As I listen to you, most worthy Constantine Thedorovitch," Chichikovhastened to remark, "it becomes plain to me that you have penetratedinto the meaning of life, and laid your finger upon the essential rootof the matter. Yet supposing, for a moment, we leave the affairs ofhumanity in general, and turn our attention to a purely individualaffair, might I ask you how, in the case of a man becoming a landowner,and having a mind to grow wealthy as quickly as possible (in order thathe may fulfil his bounden obligations as a citizen), he can best setabout it?"

  "How he can best set about growing wealthy?" repeated Kostanzhoglo."Why,--"

  "Let us go to supper," interrupted the lady of the house, rising fromher chair, and moving towards the centre of the room, where she wrappedher shivering young form in a shawl. Chichikov sprang up with thealacrity of a military man, offered her his arm, and escorted her, ason parade, to the dining-room, where awaiting them there was thesoup-toureen. From it the lid had just been removed, and the room wasredolent of the fragrant odour of early spring roots and herbs. Thecompany took their seats, and at once the servants placed theremainder of the dishes (under covers) upon the table and withdrew,for Kostanzhoglo hated to have servants listening to their employers'conversation, and objected still more to their staring at him all thewhile that he was eating.

  When the soup had been consumed, and glasses of an excellent vintageresembling Hungarian wine had been poured out, Chichikov said to hishost:

  "Most worthy sir, allow me once more to direct your attention to thesubject of which we were speaking at the point when the conversationbecame interrupted. You will remember that I was asking you how best aman can set about, proceed in, the matter of growing..."

  [Here from the original two pages are missing.]

  ... "A property for which, had he asked forty thousand, I should stillhave demanded a reduction."

  "Hm!" thought Chichikov; then added aloud: "But why do you not purchaseit yourself?"

  "Because to everything there must be assigned a limit. Already myproperty keeps me sufficiently employed. Moreover, I should cause ourlocal dvoriane to begin crying out in chorus that I am exploiting theirextremities, their ruined position, for the purpose of acquiring landfor under its value. Of that I am weary."

  "How readily folk speak evil!" exclaimed Chichikov.

  "Yes, and the amount of evil-speaking in our province surpasses belief.Never will you hear my name mentioned without my being called alsoa miser and a usurer of the worst possible sort; whereas my accusersjustify themselves in everything, and say that, 'though we have wastedour money, we have started a demand for the higher amenities of life,and therefore encouraged industry with our wastefulness, a far betterway of doing things than that practised by Kostanzhoglo, who lives likea pig.'"

  "Would _I_ could live in your 'piggish' fashion!" ejaculated Chichikov.

  "And so forth, and so forth. Yet what are the 'higher amenities oflife'? What good can they do to any one? Even if a landowner of theday sets up a library, he never looks at a single book in it, but soonrelapses into card-playing--the usual pursuit. Yet folk call me namessimply because I do not waste my means upon the giving of dinners! Onereason why I do not give such dinners is that they weary me; and anotherreason is that I am not used to them. But come you to my house for thepurpose of taking pot luck, and I shall be delighted to see you. Also,folk foolishly say that I lend money on interest; whereas the truth isthat if you should come to me when you are really in need, and shouldexplain to me openly how you propose to employ my money, and I shouldperceive that you are purposing to use that money wisely, and that youare really likely to profit thereby--well, in that case you would findme ready to lend you all that you might ask without interest at all."

  "That is a thing which it is well to know," reflected Chichikov.

  "Yes," repeated Kostanzhoglo, "under those circumstances I should neverrefuse you my assistance. But I do object to throwing my money to thewinds. Pardon me for expressing myself so plainly. To think of lendingmoney to a man who is merely devising a dinner for his mistress, orplanning to furnish his house like a lunatic, or thinking of taking hisparamour to a masked ball or a jubilee in honour of some one who hadbetter never have been born!"

  And, spitting, he came near to venting some expression which wouldscarcely have been becoming in the presence of his wife. Over his facethe dark shadow of hypochondria had cast a cloud, and furrows had formedon his brow and temples, and his every gesture bespoke the influence ofa hot, nervous rancour.

  "But allow me once more to direct your attention to the subject of ourrecently interrupted conversation," persisted Chichikov as he sipped aglass of excellent raspberry wine. "That is to say, supposing I wereto acquire the property which you have been good enough to bring to mynotice, how long would it take me to grow rich?"

  "That would depend on yourself," replied Kostanzhoglo with grimabruptness and evident ill-humour. "You might either grow rich quicklyor you might never grow rich at all. If you made up your mind to growrich, sooner or later you would find yourself a wealthy man."

  "Indeed!" ejaculated Chichikov.

  "Yes," replied Kostanzhoglo, as sharply as though he were angry withChichikov. "You would merely need to be fond of work: otherwise youwould effect nothing. The main thing is to like looking after yourproperty. Believe me, you would never grow weary of doing so. Peoplewould have it that life in the country is dull; whereas, if
I were tospend a single day as it is spent by some folk, with their stupid clubsand their restaurants and their theatres, I should die of ennui. Thefools, the idiots, the generations of blind dullards! But a landownernever finds the days wearisome--he has not the time. In his life not amoment remains unoccupied; it is full to the brim. And with it all goesan endless variety of occupations. And what occupations! Occupationswhich genuinely uplift the soul, seeing that the landowner walks withnature and the seasons of the year, and takes part in, and is intimatewith, everything which is evolved by creation. For let us look at theround of the year's labours. Even before spring has arrived there willhave begun a general watching and a waiting for it, and a preparing forsowing, and an apportioning of crops, and a measuring of seed grain bybyres, and drying of seed, and a dividing of the workers into teams.For everything needs to be examined beforehand, and calculations must bemade at the very start. And as soon as ever the ice shall have melted,and the rivers be flowing, and the land have dried sufficiently to beworkable, the spade will begin its task in kitchen and flower garden,and the plough and the harrow their tasks in the field; until everywherethere will be tilling and sowing and planting. And do you understandwhat the sum of that labour will mean? It will mean that the harvest isbeing sown, that the welfare of the world is being sown, that thefood of millions is being put into the earth. And thereafter will comesummer, the season of reaping, endless reaping; for suddenly the cropswill have ripened, and rye-sheaf will be lying heaped upon rye-sheaf,with, elsewhere, stocks of barley, and of oats, and of wheat. Andeverything will be teeming with life, and not a moment will there needto be lost, seeing that, had you even twenty eyes, you would have needfor them all. And after the harvest festivities there will be grain tobe carted to byre or stacked in ricks, and stores to be prepared for thewinter, and storehouses and kilns and cattle-sheds to be cleaned for thesame purpose, and the women to be assigned their tasks, and the totalsof everything to be calculated, so that one may see the value ofwhat has been done. And lastly will come winter, when in everythreshing-floor the flail will be working, and the grain, when threshed,will need to be carried from barn to binn, and the mills require to beseen to, and the estate factories to be inspected, and the workmen'shuts to be visited for the purpose of ascertaining how the muzhik isfaring (for, given a carpenter who is clever with his tools, I, for one,am only too glad to spend an hour or two in his company, so cheeringto me is labour). And if, in addition, one discerns the end to whicheverything is moving, and the manner in which the things of earth areeverywhere multiplying and multiplying, and bringing forth more and morefruit to one's profiting, I cannot adequately express what takesplace in a man's soul. And that, not because of the growth in hiswealth--money is money and no more--but because he will feel thateverything is the work of his own hands, and that he has been the causeof everything, and its creator, and that from him, as from a magician,there has flowed bounty and goodness for all. In what other calling willyou find such delights in prospect?" As he spoke, Kostanzhoglo raisedhis face, and it became clear that the wrinkles had fled from it, andthat, like the Tsar on the solemn day of his crowning, Kostanzhoglo'swhole form was diffusing light, and his features had in them a gentleradiance. "In all the world," he repeated, "you will find no joys likethese, for herein man imitates the God who projected creation as thesupreme happiness, and now demands of man that he, too, should act asthe creator of prosperity. Yet there are folk who call such functionstedious!"

  Kostanzhoglo's mellifluous periods fell upon Chichikov's ear likethe notes of a bird of paradise. From time to time he gulped, and hissoftened eyes expressed the pleasure which it gave him to listen.

  "Constantine, it is time to leave the table," said the lady of thehouse, rising from her seat. Every one followed her example, andChichikov once again acted as his hostess's escort--although with lessdexterity of deportment than before, owing to the fact that this timehis thoughts were occupied with more essential matters of procedure.

  "In spite of what you say," remarked Platon as he walked behind thepair, "I, for my part, find these things wearisome."

  But the master of the house paid no attention to his remark, for he wasreflecting that his guest was no fool, but a man of serious thoughtand speech who did not take things lightly. And, with the thought,Kostanzhoglo grew lighter in soul, as though he had warmed himself withhis own words, and were exulting in the fact that he had found some onecapable of listening to good advice.

  When they had settled themselves in the cosy, candle-lighteddrawing-room, with its balcony and the glass door opening out into thegarden--a door through which the stars could be seen glittering amid theslumbering tops of the trees--Chichikov felt more comfortable than hehad done for many a day past. It was as though, after long journeying,his own roof-tree had received him once more--had received him whenhis quest had been accomplished, when all that he wished for had beengained, when his travelling-staff had been laid aside with the words "Itis finished." And of this seductive frame of mind the true source hadbeen the eloquent discourse of his hospitable host. Yes, for every manthere exist certain things which, instantly that they are said, seem totouch him more closely, more intimately, than anything has done before.Nor is it an uncommon occurrence that in the most unexpected fashion,and in the most retired of retreats, one will suddenly come face to facewith a man whose burning periods will lead one to forget oneself andthe tracklessness of the route and the discomfort of one's nightlyhalting-places, and the futility of crazes and the falseness of tricksby which one human being deceives another. And at once there will becomeengraven upon one's memory--vividly, and for all time--the evening thusspent. And of that evening one's remembrance will hold true, both as towho was present, and where each such person sat, and what he or she waswearing, and what the walls and the stove and other trifling features ofthe room looked like.

  In the same way did Chichikov note each detail that evening--both theappointments of the agreeable, but not luxuriously furnished, room, andthe good-humoured expression which reigned on the face of the thoughtfulhost, and the design of the curtains, and the amber-mounted pipe smokedby Platon, and the way in which he kept puffing smoke into the fatjowl of the dog Yarb, and the sneeze which, on each such occasion, Yarbvented, and the laughter of the pleasant-faced hostess (though alwaysfollowed by the words "Pray do not tease him any more") and the cheerfulcandle-light, and the cricket chirping in a corner, and the glass door,and the spring night which, laying its elbows upon the tree-tops, andspangled with stars, and vocal with the nightingales which were pouringforth warbled ditties from the recesses of the foliage, kept glancingthrough the door, and regarding the company within.

  "How it delights me to hear your words, good Constantine Thedorovitch!"said Chichikov. "Indeed, nowhere in Russia have I met with a man ofequal intellect."

  Kostanzhoglo smiled, while realising that the compliment was scarcelydeserved.

  "If you want a man of GENUINE intellect," he said, "I can tell you ofone. He is a man whose boot soles are worth more than my whole body."

  "Who may he be?" asked Chichikov in astonishment.

  "Murazov, our local Commissioner of Taxes."

  "Ah! I have heard of him before," remarked Chichikov.

  "He is a man who, were he not the director of an estate, might well be adirector of the Empire. And were the Empire under my direction, I shouldat once appoint him my Minister of Finance."

  "I have heard tales beyond belief concerning him--for instance, that hehas acquired ten million roubles."

  "Ten? More than forty. Soon half Russia will be in his hands."

  "You don't say so?" cried Chichikov in amazement.

  "Yes, certainly. The man who has only a hundred thousand roubles to workwith grows rich but slowly, whereas he who has millions at his disposalcan operate over a greater radius, and so back whatsoever he undertakeswith twice or thrice the money which can be brought against him.Consequently his field becomes so spacious that he ends by having norivals. Yes, no one can
compete with him, and, whatsoever price he mayfix for a given commodity, at that price it will have to remain, norwill any man be able to outbid it."

  "My God!" muttered Chichikov, crossing himself, and staring atKostanzhoglo with his breath catching in his throat. "The mind cannotgrasp it--it petrifies one's thoughts with awe. You see folk marvellingat what Science has achieved in the matter of investigating the habitsof cowbugs, but to me it is a far more marvellous thing that in thehands of a single mortal there can become accumulated such gigantic sumsof money. But may I ask whether the great fortune of which you speak hasbeen acquired through honest means?"

  "Yes; through means of the most irreproachable kind--through the mosthonourable of methods."

  "Yet so improbable does it seem that I can scarcely believe it.Thousands I could understand, but millions--!"

  "On the contrary, to make thousands honestly is a far more difficultmatter than to make millions. Millions are easily come by, for amillionaire has no need to resort to crooked ways; the way lies straightbefore him, and he needs but to annex whatsoever he comes across. Norival will spring up to oppose him, for no rival will be sufficientlystrong, and since the millionaire can operate over an extensive radius,he can bring (as I have said) two or three roubles to bear upon any oneelse's one. Consequently, what interest will he derive from a thousandroubles? Why, ten or twenty per cent. at the least."

  "And it is beyond measure marvellous that the whole should have startedfrom a single kopeck."

  "Had it started otherwise, the thing could never have been done at all.Such is the normal course. He who is born with thousands, and is broughtup to thousands, will never acquire a single kopeck more, for he willhave been set up with the amenities of life in advance, and so nevercome to stand in need of anything. It is necessary to begin from thebeginning rather than from the middle; from a kopeck rather than from arouble; from the bottom rather than from the top. For only thus will aman get to know the men and conditions among which his career will haveto be carved. That is to say, through encountering the rough and thetumble of life, and through learning that every kopeck has to be beatenout with a three-kopeck nail, and through worsting knave after knave, hewill acquire such a degree of perspicuity and wariness that he will errin nothing which he may tackle, and never come to ruin. Believe me, itis so. The beginning, and not the middle, is the right starting point.No one who comes to me and says, 'Give me a hundred thousand roubles,and I will grow rich in no time,' do I believe, for he is likely to meetwith failure rather than with the success of which he is so assured.'Tis with a kopeck, and with a kopeck only, that a man must begin."

  "If that is so, _I_ shall grow rich," said Chichikov, involuntarilyremembering the dead souls. "For of a surety _I_ began with nothing."

  "Constantine, pray allow Paul Ivanovitch to retire to rest," put inthe lady of the house. "It is high time, and I am sure you have talkedenough."

  "Yes, beyond a doubt you will grow rich," continued Kostanzhoglo,without heeding his wife. "For towards you there will run rivers andrivers of gold, until you will not know what to do with all your gains."

  As though spellbound, Chichikov sat in an aureate world of ever-growingdreams and fantasies. All his thoughts were in a whirl, and on a carpetof future wealth his tumultuous imagination was weaving golden patterns,while ever in his ears were ringing the words, "towards you there willrun rivers and rivers of gold."

  "Really, Constantine, DO allow Paul Ivanovitch to go to bed."

  "What on earth is the matter?" retorted the master of the householdtestily. "Pray go yourself if you wish to." Then he stopped short, forthe snoring of Platon was filling the whole room, and also--outrivallingit--that of the dog Yarb. This caused Kostanzhoglo to realise thatbedtime really had arrived; wherefore, after he had shaken Platon outof his slumbers, and bidden Chichikov good night, all dispersed to theirseveral chambers, and became plunged in sleep.

  All, that is to say, except Chichikov, whose thoughts remained wakeful,and who kept wondering and wondering how best he could become the owner,not of a fictitious, but of a real, estate. The conversation withhis host had made everything clear, had made the possibility ofhis acquiring riches manifest, had made the difficult art of estatemanagement at once easy and understandable; until it would seem asthough particularly was his nature adapted for mastering the art inquestion. All that he would need to do would be to mortgage the deadsouls, and then to set up a genuine establishment. Already hesaw himself acting and administering as Kostanzhoglo had advisedhim--energetically, and through personal oversight, and undertakingnothing new until the old had been thoroughly learned, and viewingeverything with his own eyes, and making himself familiar with eachmember of his peasantry, and abjuring all superfluities, and givinghimself up to hard work and husbandry. Yes, already could he taste thepleasure which would be his when he had built up a complete industrialorganisation, and the springs of the industrial machine were in vigorousworking order, and each had become able to reinforce the other. Labourshould be kept in active operation, and, even as, in a mill, flour comesflowing from grain, so should cash, and yet more cash, come flowing fromevery atom of refuse and remnant. And all the while he could see beforehim the landowner who was one of the leading men in Russia, and for whomhe had conceived such an unbounded respect. Hitherto only for rank orfor opulence had Chichikov respected a man--never for mere intellectualpower; but now he made a first exception in favour of Kostanzhoglo,seeing that he felt that nothing undertaken by his host could possiblycome to naught. And another project which was occupying Chichikov's mindwas the project of purchasing the estate of a certain landowner namedKhlobuev. Already Chichikov had at his disposal ten thousand roubles,and a further fifteen thousand he would try and borrow of Kostanzhoglo(seeing that the latter had himself said that he was prepared to helpany one who really desired to grow rich); while, as for the remainder,he would either raise the sum by mortgaging the estate or force Khlobuevto wait for it--just to tell him to resort to the courts if such mightbe his pleasure.

  Long did our hero ponder the scheme; until at length the slumber whichhad, these four hours past, been holding the rest of the household inits embraces enfolded also Chichikov, and he sank into oblivion.