CHAPTER 10
Cassie's feet dragged across the sidewalk as she walked beside Chris. It used to be after a night of training she’d feel invigorated and pumped. Tonight, she felt bone weary and beaten. Though the night off had been helpful, she was still unable to concentrate on any moves, couldn’t throw a stake, or defend the blows Chris and Melissa swung at her. She'd been the best of the three of them in training and fighting, but now she looked like a floundering newbie. She was just grateful it hadn't been a real fight, or she would be dead right now.
Luther was still frustrated with her lack of concentration and ability, but his irritation was nothing compared to hers. Her entire body ached, but not from the beating she had taken tonight. She ached for Devon. It was a physical pain that had gone deeper than her skin; it had imbedded itself into the marrow of her bones and taken hold of her soul.
She was certain she would never be free of him again.
Confusion and fear tore through her at the thought. Since the day she met Luther and her life changed forever, she'd tried to focus on four simple things: family, school, training, and hunting. It was her focus on those things that kept her sane and didn't give her time to dwell on things that would never be. She had no dreams of college, and she had stopped daydreaming years ago of anything remotely resembling marriage or a family.
Now she couldn't stop thinking about the future she would never have. Before Devon, she'd never given much thought to tomorrow. She simply lived day to day, moment to moment; she never knew when any given moment might be her last. He'd made her forget all of that, and it had shaken her entire world. Hope could be dangerous, it only led to disappointment and hurt. She was so tired of being hurt; it was much easier to build walls and mentally hide herself from the rest of the world.
Somehow he’d managed to tear those walls down, and she knew she couldn't keep him out. She couldn't allow herself to look too far into the future, not past tomorrow at least. It would be too painful when she lost him, and she would lose him, just as she had lost so many things that mattered to her.
There were already plans for them to leave after graduation. Though Cape Cod received its fair share of vampires, thanks to the tourist season, there were other places with a much higher concentration. On average they only killed ten vampires a year, mostly in the summer months. Though last year it had been fifteen, and this year they were on track to beat that record.
Luther believed that after graduation they would be trained well enough to go where they were needed more, to offer their help and protection somewhere else. Cassie didn't think much about it, she would like to graduate, but she didn't plan for it. Neither did she panic at the thought of leaving the only town she'd spent most of her time in and had come to think of as home. She would worry about it when the day came, not a minute sooner.
Shuddering deeper into her windbreaker, she wrapped her arms around herself. Though it wasn't a cold night, there was a chill deep in her bones. The clicking of the tree branches and the low rustle of the leaves did nothing to help relieve her melancholy mood. "Are you ok?" Chris asked.
Cassie glanced up at him, surprised by the apprehension she saw in his eyes. "I'm fine, why?"
He shook his hair back. "You've been out of it for awhile Cass, ungraceful, ill coordinated…"
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," she muttered.
"I'm just saying." He shrugged his shoulders and shoved his hands into his pockets. "You've been off, which is very unusual."
"I've got a lot on my mind."
"Hmm." They briefly stepped into the spill of streetlights as they crossed the street. The rustle of a coyote in the woods caught Cassie's attention. It slunk through the shadows, staying low to the ground as it hunted a small rabbit. Cassie shuddered, an ominous feeling descended upon her. She knew how the rabbit felt because she also felt trapped with no way out. "Is this because of Devon?"
Cassie jerked herself out of her own thoughts as she turned her head and met Chris's shrewd gaze. She should have known he would notice her strange reaction to Devon. Even if he wasn't using his ability, he didn't miss much. Guilt tugged at her, she'd never kept anything from Chris before, but she didn't want to talk about this now. These feelings were new to her, private and fragile, and confusing.
Shrugging absently, Cassie brushed back a straggling piece of hair. "I do have other things on my mind, besides a boy."
"Usually yes, lately no. You really like him?"
Cassie was silent, her eyes focused on her sneakers as they moved along. She wasn't sure how to answer that question just yet. Yes, she really liked Devon, but it was more than just like. She had never felt this drawn to someone before. It was something almost instinctive. She couldn't say it was love because she hardly knew him, but he touched something deep within her that she’d never known existed until he came along.
"Yes," she finally admitted. "I suppose you could say I like him."
Chris was thoughtful for a few moments before he heaved a sigh. "I can sense that he likes you too."
Cassie perked up. "Really?"
He nudged her shoulder with his. "Of course, who wouldn't?" he teased.
"Chris," she groaned.
His kidding demeanor vanished. "He definitely feels something for you."
"Do you sense something wrong with him?" she asked tremulously.
He glanced at her in surprise. "Are you actually asking about what I sense from someone, again?"
A dull blush stained her cheeks as she glanced away quickly. She wouldn't want other people knowing about her life if they had access to two such gifted people, she felt they deserved the same right. If Chris sensed any menace in a person he would share it with them.
Her shoulders drooped as she shook her head. She couldn't invade Devon's privacy in such a way. Chris casually draped an arm around her shoulders. "I didn't sense anything bad in him, just something different."
Cassie's curiosity was peaked as she glanced up at him. "Different how?"
"I don't know." He frowned as he thought carefully before answering. "There's a strange sort of darkness inside him."
Cassie's hands clenched on her arms, she pondered Chris's odd choice of words. "What kind of darkness?"
"I don't know, not an evil one, maybe its loneliness or grief. There's no ill will in him toward you."
Cassie bit nervously on her bottom lip. "But toward others?"
"No, I don't think so. Why don't you ask Melissa if she has seen anything?" Cassie shook her head. Inquiring into what Melissa may know was a perilous path to tread. "You never ask her about anything she sees. Why is that?" She shrugged, unwilling to get into it with him. "Is it because you don't believe you have a future?"
Cassie shot him a sharp glance. "Did you read me?" she demanded.
Chris recoiled as he shook his head. "Of course not Cass, I wouldn't do that to you. Besides, you know it doesn't work like that. I can't tell what people are thinking, just what they feel, and who they are. I don't have to read you to know you've shut down since we found out what we are."
"I have not, I…"
Chris held up a silencing hand. "You go through the motions of living, but you don't truly live anymore. We've always been together Cass, I know the girl you used to be, and you locked that girl away the day Luther and Melissa walked into our lives."
Cassie looked over the shadowed streets. She saw nothing out there; no distraction from Chris's probing questions and keen insight. She thought she'd hidden herself well behind her wall. Apparently she hadn't. "Do you think you have a future?" she inquired.
He looked sad and lost as he studied her face. "It may not be as long as I'd once hoped, but yes, I think I have a future. I often think about marriage and kids, and maybe one day I might retire and spend my days fishing."
Cassie huffed as she smiled at him. "You hate fishing."
"Not the point."
"I know," she relented.
"But you don't think of those things, do you?"
"No,"
she admitted reluctantly. "I don't."
"You should. Look at your grandmother, she's a Hunter and she's still alive."
"She's the only one who has lived past fifty. Most of us don't make it to twenty, and those who do usually die before they're thirty. I know some of our history too Chris, my grandmother is an oddity."
"There's the optimistic Cassie I love," he teased. She was a little wounded by his comment, but she knew he was right. She was far too pessimistic most of the time. "But seriously, Luther thinks you're one of the best Hunters ever. I'm sure that will extend your lifespan."
"Yeah, you're probably right," she agreed just to get him to stop talking about it, but she was not fooled into thinking he believed her.
His arm remained around her shoulders as they walked on. "Just be careful ok." At her questioning glance he expanded further. "I don't want you to get hurt by him."
She bristled over his words. "I won't get hurt."
Chris shook back his shaggy hair. "You don't have much experience with guys so just take it slow."
She shot him a haughty look. "I have dated before Chris."
He annoyingly grinned down at her, his arm slid forward to drop around her neck as he hugged her against his chest for a brief moment. "Yeah, but you've never really noticed guys before…"
"Of course I have," she interrupted.
"Not like this. You've paid attention to them before, the same attention you would give a puppy, but you've never really noticed them."
Cassie's nose wrinkled at his analogy. She didn't treat boys like puppies, and of course she had noticed them before, she just hadn't felt anything for them. Not like she felt for Devon, nothing even close to that.
"Not like you notice him," Chris continued.
Cassie was pulled back as Chris stopped walking. His arm fell from around her as his intense sapphire eyes burned into hers. Cassie shifted uncomfortably, she and Chris shared everything, but this was a topic that had never come up before, and she'd never seen him this concerned. "Chris…"
He held up a hand to fend off her words. "I have to pull the older brother caring bit, even if I'm not your brother." Though he smiled, it didn't reach his eyes. "I would expect you to do the same."
She playfully punched him in the shoulder. "But you notice all the girls," she reminded him.
Chuckling softly, he draped his arm back around her shoulders and pulled her forward. "That I do, that I do. You are going to have to pay more attention in training, and especially in the field."
"I will. I won't ever let anything happen to you or Melissa."
He grinned at her. "Of course you won't, but you better not let anything happen to you either."
"I won't," she told him, knowing it was a promise she couldn't keep. Anything could happen to them.
They walked the rest of the way without speaking. Music drifted from Chris's house, the sound was muffled by the loud laughter coming from inside. Chris groaned in disgust as his arm fell away from her shoulders. "I'll have grandma make you a plate," Cassie told him.
He gave her a tired nod before making his way toward his front door. Cassie was dismayed by the sad, weary slump of his shoulders. No matter what life threw at him, Chris retained hope. She wished she could be the same way, and had the inner strength Chris and Melissa possessed. She may be the strongest fighter, but she was by far the emotionally weakest of the three of them.
Shrill yells rang from Chris's house as his mother started screaming at him for some unknown offense. Cassie winced as the shouts propelled her faster toward her house. She wanted to get his plate ready, the mattress out, and the baseball game on before he arrived. It would be another wordless night, but she felt they both needed one after today.
Running up her steps, she froze at the edge of the stoop as the hairs on the nape of her neck stood up. Her hand on the knob, Cassie turned to survey the darkened night. She could see a hawk in its nest, and a fox at the edge of the woods, but she saw nothing abnormal amongst the tree cover. Yet she couldn't shake the unsettling feeling that something or someone was watching her. It was the exact same feeling she had the other night.
Though she sensed no hostility from the presence out there, she still hurried into the house. She was eager to escape the eyes she couldn't see, but knew were there.