“I want to say that I’m sorry that all of this happened to you, but I think you’re happy with the new you,” I said to him.
He nodded. “Change is never easy, and big change is really difficult, but it’s usually good…even when the process is painful and frustrating.”
I nodded. “Just wait until you hear what I was busy doing while you were here learning how to be a badass.”
He smiled, his dry skin wrinkling at the corners of his mouth and eyes. “We can talk about that later. How about now we talk battle plans?”
“Absolutely. Lay it on me. Tell me what you think we should do.”
The sound of footsteps interrupted Tony. We both turned and found Jared there.
“Hey you!” I waved, not sure if hugging was the right thing to do. He looked like his normal self, other than the fact that his clothing was in the same state that everyone else’s seemed to be in.
“Good to have you back in one piece,” he said. “We ready to go?”
“We were just talking strategy,” Tony said.
“Good.” Jared gestured at our friend. “Continue.”
Tony nodded and faced both of us. “I believe that now that Jayne is whole, Biad will make it possible for us to enter the cavern that leads to the Overworld.”
I held up a hand to stop him and then faced my dragon partner. “Yo, Biad! We good to enter the Overworld as a group?”
Her giant head slowly dipped in my direction.
I faced the guys. “I’m taking that as a yes.”
“Good,” Tony said. “Once there, we need to spread out in star formation and hit the heart of the battle.” He turned to me. “Jayne, your other half gave us the rundown on what she saw when you were there briefly. She said there were dark angels, orcs, and other Underworld beasts battling the Overworld’s inhabitants, both on the ground and in the air.”
“Yes. That’s what I saw.”
“And there were dragons?”
“Yes.”
“Did you see any dragon riders?” Both Tony and Jared leaned in close to hear my answer.
“Uh. No. I don’t remember seeing any, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t there.”
They exchanged a look before Tony spoke. “We will assume there aren’t any unless we see differently.”
I shrugged, not understanding what the big deal was.
“We stay together. We are more powerful when our dragons can communicate with one another. We fly in five-point lateral star formation, with one below, one above, Biad in the center, and the last two in sweeper position.
I raised my hand.
Tony paused. “Jayne, do you have a question?”
I rolled my eyes. “Duh. That’s why I had my hand up. What’s a star formation? What’s a sweeper? And why am I in the center? Is it because I don’t know what I’m doing?”
Jared and Tony shared a silent look that I was pretty sure meant that I was seriously riding the short bus and was going to be a problem for them.
“Just talk to your dragon,” Jared said. “She will help you understand.”
I nodded, getting from their stances and everything I’d been told up to this point that they didn’t have time to put together a remedial dragon rider course for me; we had battles to fight and a war to win.
“Our goal as we find our way to the axis of the war zone is to identify the instigators and power centers and take them out,” Tony continued. “The sweeper is expected to shore up any holes in our defenses.”
I repeated everything he was saying in my head like three times, hoping it would make sense when I was in the air.
“Jayne, if you can compel anyone into the battle on our behalf who you think might be able to help us, feel free,” Tony said.
“What? Compel who?”
“Like you did with Beau and me and the others,” Tony explained. “You can compel people to you in the Here and Now, so the theory is you can do it in the Overworld, too.”
“But…that only happens when I’m asleep.”
Tony put his hand on my shoulder. “Because that’s when your mind is most open to the concept. But I believe you could do it whenever you wanted.”
“But…how are they getting there? I don’t think it’s their actual body. I think it’s just their conscience or something.”
“Whatever it is…call it to you,” he said, and then he lifted his hand and faced Jared. “Are you prepared to breach the houses?”
Jared nodded. “If we find it necessary.”
“Houses? What houses?” I was imagining us breaking into an angel subdivision like burglars.
“You’ll see when we get there,” Tony said. “It’s time for us to go.” He paused and then turned to fully face me. “Whatever happens, Jayne, know that…well…I love you. You’re my best friend. You always will be.”
His statement sounded so final…so scary…I was temporarily lost for words. But when he hugged me, several flew out of my mouth. “Don’t you dare die! I will bring you back to life, and I don’t care who it puts into a coma, do you hear me?” I was literally trembling over the idea of losing my friend to death’s grip.
He backed away and stared down at me. “I will do whatever is necessary to save my people, and you will not bring me back to life if death is what takes me. Do the right thing, Jayne. Be our Mother. Be strong. And do the right thing. Just…do the right thing.”
I wanted to scream at him that he was going to be an uncle soon and that he couldn’t abandon me like Chase had, but I didn’t bother. He clearly wasn’t in a place mentally to listen to that kind of emotional talk.
I came up with a plan instead. Nobody was going to kill my friends on my watch. No fucking way. We were going into battle on dragons, but I was also going into battle with my elements. Ben was in there somewhere, and he was just going to have to join his elements to mine to make sure that no ugly ass demon could bust through our ranks and cause any damage. The war that was going on in the Overworld was coming to an end, no matter what I had to do to make it happen.
I was all ready to bust some angel ass and get to the winning-of-battles part, but something Dardennes had said started nagging at me. I felt like I had unfinished business, and when I looked up at the dragons nearby, I realized what it was. “Ish!” I shouted.
He turned. “Yes?”
“Come down here for a minute.”
Othello twisted his neck and lowered his head until his nostrils were just a few feet away. I gave him a little wave. “Hey there…matey.”
A puff of black smoke came out of his face and surrounded me. I choked as I waved it away. “Yeah. Thanks. Glad we got that straightened out.” I waited for Ish to alight from his dragon’s head and join me on the ground before I said my piece.
“Dude, I have a message for you from the future.”
He blinked but said nothing.
“You are not just a regular human. You are fae. Like us.”
“I…am?” He didn’t look unhappy about the idea, so I continued, the stress of the moment making me sound desperate.
“Yeah. And I don’t know how your fae blood gets awakened, but when it does, you will find out that you’re a wind elemental.”
His eyes widened in amazement. “Does that mean…?”
“Yep. It means you will command the wind. Which might come in really handy for a dragon rider, but it has its risks too.”
The joy receded from his tone. “What type of risks?”
“I’m not exactly sure how to describe it, because it’s never happened to me and anyone who knew about it in the future didn’t actually see it go down, but the theory is that an elemental can get lost in his element. He can…I don’t know…get too close or go in too deep…and then he just doesn’t ever come out again.”
He looked frightened. “I do not want to be lost in an element.”
I reached out and took his hand. “And no one else wants you to be lost in it either. Apparently, you end up being some kind of superhero in the fut
ure who everyone loves. So I just wanted to warn you not to get caught up in the wind too much. Use it and command it, but don’t get too attached, okay?”
He nodded once. “I will do my best.”
“And that’s all anyone can ask of you, right?” I grinned big, even though I wasn’t really feeling it. I was probably trying convince myself that my fuck ups weren’t all that bad, but I knew better. Some of them had been pretty horrendous. But at least I hadn’t gotten lost in an element, so I had that going for me.
“Is that all?” he asked, looking over his shoulder at his dragon who was making goo-goo eyes at Biad.
“Yeah. We’d better get going before someone starts laying some eggs.” I snorted at my sexy dragon joke.
“What?” Ish turned back to me.
I waved him away. “Never mind. Mount up. Time’s a wastin’. Those demons aren’t going to slay themselves, right?”
He left me without another word, and I climbed up onto Biad’s head, although not nearly as gracefully as my friends had.
Are you ready? she asked.
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
I HELD ONTO Biad’s left horn for balance as I found a flat spot in the middle of her head to stand on. I placed my feet carefully in tiny divots that seemed to be there especially for my feet. “I haven’t done this very much, so please don’t…whooa, ooohhhh, wwwaaaaahhhh!!!”
I had no time to prepare myself. One second she was slowly lifting her head, and the next we were launched straight up into the sky and flying through the air at five hundred miles an hour. Wind whipped past me and drew my satchel away from my body to stream out behind me. My stomach felt like it went from my abdomen to my chest and then down to my toes in about three seconds. I screamed bloody murder as she did several barrel rolls and flips in midair.
When she finally came to the point of level flight, I was gripping that left horn with my entire body. I wondered for a brief moment if I looked like Baby Bee did when he was holding onto my nose.
You will not fall.
“No thanks to you doing your best to get rid of me!” I yelled, most of the volume in my words snatched by the wind and thrown out behind us.
You needed to be shown. To trust.
“Trust? You want me to trust you?” Great. I ended up with the insane dragon. Just my luck.
Are you hurt?
I took a while to answer. “No.” I loosened my hold on her horn just a little.
Nor will you be. Not by my actions.
“Nice loophole,” I said, disengaging myself entirely and taking up a spot between her horns where I could sit down and wrangle my bag back into position. She wasn’t going to kill me but that didn’t mean someone else wouldn’t—some demon angel with a sword probably. Biad’s scales were warm, and the closer I was to her, the less the wind bothered my skin.
We must go into the Overworld now.
“Yes. Agreed. But can you fit in that cave? Not that I’m calling you fat or anything, but…I think you might be too big.”
Size is immaterial.
“Cool. Dragon magic.” I held onto my stomach as she banked left. I looked up and saw my friends on their dragons nearby. They made riding these beasts look effortless. They were totally focused, staring toward our destination, their expressions filled with intense pride and fierceness. Tim was keeping pace with Tony, nearly at his shoulder. Everyone was flying together in some sort of spiral formation, with Biad at the bottom end of it and the others spaced out around it on levels above, all of us headed toward the ground. We seemed to be going a little too fast, though. I was never good in physics class, but she was a big beast and it wasn’t a very large entrance ahead.
“Um…Biad…you might want to slow down!” I cringed and slammed my eyes shut as we entered the dark space that I knew from my previous trips inside became narrower as it got closer to the end. I waited for a jarring that would be the result of her wings scraping the sides of the cavern and the subsequent inevitable ejection from my seat.
Cool wind blew over my bald head, but there was no crashing or screams of pain necessary. Our flight was as smooth as silk, almost as comfy as the couple trips I’d taken on the Light Faes’ private jet. I opened my eyes to find blasts of Biad’s fire lighting up the cavern as we sailed through it on some sort of current. Her wings were spread and hardly moving, with plenty of room on either side. It was almost peaceful. If I hadn’t known that my potential death by demon sword was waiting for me at the end of the tunnel, I might have been able to relax a little.
“How is this happening?” I whispered. “How can you fly in this space? I know it’s too small.”
Magic.
“Duh. Of course it’s magic,” I said mostly to myself. “When will I learn?”
Magic is everywhere. It is here, it is inside me, it is inside you. All you must do to connect is believe and open your mind and heart.
“Well, I hope that’s true because I have a feeling we’re going to need some of that magic when we get to the other side of this thing.” The sounds of the battle were growing louder.
Hoping it is true means that you doubt it is. Remove your doubt or all will be lost. Do not hope. Know.
“Geez, dramatic much?” I sighed. This beast, who was admittedly a really great example of magic in motion, just didn’t get it. In all the time I’d been fae, I’d seen many unexplainable, mystical, amazing things…but in the moments when I’d needed magic to be on my side and do what I wanted it to do, it seemed to delight in messing with me—either by not showing up at all, or by answering my prayers in some twisted way. Case in point: I tried to protect myself against a Fate’s magic not that far from this spot, only to be fractured into two pieces, with one of those pieces ending up in a nuthouse feeling hopeless and the other left behind with friends who she basically turned into killing machines. Yeah. Magic is on my side.
Magic does not choose sides. Magic just Is.
“I’m not sure reading my mind is cool with me right now.”
We are companions. We are One.
“Yeah, okay. I heard about that one-ness stuff. But I’m not exactly sure how it plays out in the real world. Does it mean I have to stay at the portal all the time now?”
Not unless you choose to.
“I figured you’d get mad when I didn’t show up on time. I tried, you know. I really did.”
I understood what had happened. There are many who wish to interfere in your destiny.
“And why is that, do you think?”
Power. Greed. Fear. A sense of misplaced loyalties. Even fae are vulnerable to the sins of man.
I snorted. “You’re telling me. There’s like ten times more drama in my fae life than there ever was in my human one.” It made me think of my human drama which caused a vision of my mother’s face to flash before my eyes. “Biad…I need to save my mom. A wrathe is going to beat her bad enough to kill her, just to try and get me to have a baby with a demon.”
It is not your place to save your mother from her death.
Her words made me sick to my stomach. “Of course it is. She’s my mother. She brought me into the world, and I love her, even though she can be a real bi…uh…bad person sometimes.”
Everything happens for a reason. Changing the future will not change the past.
“I don’t get it.”
We are all on a journey, both humans and fae. Our journeys are fraught with strife and evil, good and love, obstacles and alternate paths. Death and a connection to Spirit is the destination, but the journey is ever important. Death at the hands of evil is your mother’s journey. It is not yours.
Tears pricked my eyes. “So you’re saying I just have to let her die? I’m not sure I can do that.”
There is no letting destiny happen. It just happens. You must release the idea that you should have control over another’s destiny. Down that path lies darkness only. Allow her to take her journey how she has chosen to, and take your own as y
ou have chosen.
“So, basically you’re telling me to live and let live…but that’s not really my style.”
You do not have a choice. She paused. We have arrived.
I looked up to see the opening of the Overworld in front of us. It was full of light and sound and odors…the sickly sweet perfume of flowers laced with blood. “I really wish I had Blackie and my demon sword,” I said.
Look in your bag.
I scrambled to open it, finding not only those items but my changeling ring also. I couldn’t even remember when I’d lost it, but I was sure glad to see it again. I put them all on my body as we soared out into the open space. A sense of confidence came over me once I was properly armed. If I fell off this beast and survived it, I still had a chance of chopping off some demon heads with my sword and burning them with the fire of my dragon fang, and that made me happy.
Biad paused her forward movement and waited for our friends to catch up. They took up positions around us, and I could finally see what they’d meant about a five-pointed star formation; Tony was in front, Jared and Scrum were to either side of me in the ten- and two-o’clock positions, Felicia and Becky were in the five-and seven o-clock positions, Spike was directly above me, Finn was directly below me, and Ishmail and Sam were buzzing around us. They must be the sweepers.
It was almost as if time stood still for a few seconds while we hung there in the air. The beauty of the Overworld was undeniable, despite the horror that awaited. The sun was shining above us, the flowers, trees, and grasses bent in the breeze below, and the clouds were fluffy and slowly cruising across the sky. Biad’s wings moved up and down in powerful strokes, and the sound of it reminded me of a great ship’s sails.
I felt empowered and righteous, there to save the world along with everything and everyone in it. I was the Mother of the fae, a creature like no other, extraordinary in every way. And I had the best friends a girl could ever ask for right at my sides and head and feet, ready to put their lives on the line for everything we believed in. It was invigorating and exhilarating and as scary as anything I’d ever experienced. I had never felt the weight of responsibility on me like I did in that moment. I didn’t have the luxury of screwing things up and fixing them later. Whatever happened in this place would be permanent. Life-changing. World-changing, even. I had to be my best self and make the rightest, most well-reasoned decisions I’d ever made.