CHAPTER IV.
Mildendo, the metropolis of Lilliput, described, together with theemperor's palace. A conversation between the author and a principalsecretary, concerning the affairs of that empire. The author's offers toserve the emperor in his wars.
The first request I made, after I had obtained my liberty, was, that Imight have license to see Mildendo, the metropolis; which the emperoreasily granted me, but with a special charge to do no hurt either to theinhabitants or their houses. The people had notice, by proclamation, ofmy design to visit the town. The wall which encompassed it is two feetand a half high, and at least eleven inches broad, so that a coach andhorses may be driven very safely round it; and it is flanked with strongtowers at ten feet distance. I stepped over the great western gate, andpassed very gently, and sidling, through the two principal streets, onlyin my short waistcoat, for fear of damaging the roofs and eaves of thehouses with the skirts of my coat. I walked with the utmostcircumspection, to avoid treading on any stragglers who might remain inthe streets, although the orders were very strict, that all people shouldkeep in their houses, at their own peril. The garret windows and tops ofhouses were so crowded with spectators, that I thought in all my travelsI had not seen a more populous place. The city is an exact square, eachside of the wall being five hundred feet long. The two great streets,which run across and divide it into four quarters, are five feet wide.The lanes and alleys, which I could not enter, but only view them as Ipassed, are from twelve to eighteen inches. The town is capable ofholding five hundred thousand souls: the houses are from three to fivestories: the shops and markets well provided.
The emperor's palace is in the centre of the city where the two greatstreets meet. It is enclosed by a wall of two feet high, and twenty feetdistance from the buildings. I had his majesty's permission to step overthis wall; and, the space being so wide between that and the palace, Icould easily view it on every side. The outward court is a square offorty feet, and includes two other courts: in the inmost are the royalapartments, which I was very desirous to see, but found it extremelydifficult; for the great gates, from one square into another, were buteighteen inches high, and seven inches wide. Now the buildings of theouter court were at least five feet high, and it was impossible for me tostride over them without infinite damage to the pile, though the wallswere strongly built of hewn stone, and four inches thick. At the sametime the emperor had a great desire that I should see the magnificence ofhis palace; but this I was not able to do till three days after, which Ispent in cutting down with my knife some of the largest trees in theroyal park, about a hundred yards distant from the city. Of these treesI made two stools, each about three feet high, and strong enough to bearmy weight. The people having received notice a second time, I went againthrough the city to the palace with my two stools in my hands. When Icame to the side of the outer court, I stood upon one stool, and took theother in my hand; this I lifted over the roof, and gently set it down onthe space between the first and second court, which was eight feet wide.I then stept over the building very conveniently from one stool to theother, and drew up the first after me with a hooked stick. By thiscontrivance I got into the inmost court; and, lying down upon my side, Iapplied my face to the windows of the middle stories, which were leftopen on purpose, and discovered the most splendid apartments that can beimagined. There I saw the empress and the young princes, in theirseveral lodgings, with their chief attendants about them. Her imperialmajesty was pleased to smile very graciously upon me, and gave me out ofthe window her hand to kiss.
But I shall not anticipate the reader with further descriptions of thiskind, because I reserve them for a greater work, which is now almostready for the press; containing a general description of this empire,from its first erection, through along series of princes; with aparticular account of their wars and politics, laws, learning, andreligion; their plants and animals; their peculiar manners and customs,with other matters very curious and useful; my chief design at presentbeing only to relate such events and transactions as happened to thepublic or to myself during a residence of about nine months in thatempire.
One morning, about a fortnight after I had obtained my liberty,Reldresal, principal secretary (as they style him) for private affairs,came to my house attended only by one servant. He ordered his coach towait at a distance, and desired I would give him an hours audience; whichI readily consented to, on account of his quality and personal merits, aswell as of the many good offices he had done me during my solicitationsat court. I offered to lie down that he might the more convenientlyreach my ear, but he chose rather to let me hold him in my hand duringour conversation. He began with compliments on my liberty; said hemight pretend to some merit in it; but, however, added, that if it hadnot been for the present situation of things at court, perhaps I mightnot have obtained it so soon. For, said he, as flourishing a conditionas we may appear to be in to foreigners, we labour under two mightyevils: a violent faction at home, and the danger of an invasion, by amost potent enemy, from abroad. As to the first, you are to understand,that for about seventy moons past there have been two struggling partiesin this empire, under the names of _Tramecksan_ and _Slamecksan_, fromthe high and low heels of their shoes, by which they distinguishthemselves. It is alleged, indeed, that the high heels are mostagreeable to our ancient constitution; but, however this be, his majestyhas determined to make use only of low heels in the administration of thegovernment, and all offices in the gift of the crown, as you cannot butobserve; and particularly that his majesty's imperial heels are lower atleast by a _drurr_ than any of his court (_drurr_ is a measure about thefourteenth part of an inch). The animosities between these two partiesrun so high, that they will neither eat, nor drink, nor talk with eachother. We compute the _Tramecksan_, or high heels, to exceed us innumber; but the power is wholly on our side. We apprehend his imperialhighness, the heir to the crown, to have some tendency towards the highheels; at least we can plainly discover that one of his heels is higherthan the other, which gives him a hobble in his gait. Now, in the midstof these intestine disquiets, we are threatened with an invasion from theisland of Blefuscu, which is the other great empire of the universe,almost as large and powerful as this of his majesty. For as to what wehave heard you affirm, that there are other kingdoms and states in theworld inhabited by human creatures as large as yourself, our philosophersare in much doubt, and would rather conjecture that you dropped from themoon, or one of the stars; because it is certain, that a hundred mortalsof your bulk would in a short time destroy all the fruits and cattle ofhis majesty's dominions: besides, our histories of six thousand moonsmake no mention of any other regions than the two great empires ofLilliput and Blefuscu. Which two mighty powers have, as I was going totell you, been engaged in a most obstinate war for six-and-thirty moonspast. It began upon the following occasion. It is allowed on all hands,that the primitive way of breaking eggs, before we eat them, was upon thelarger end; but his present majesty's grandfather, while he was a boy,going to eat an egg, and breaking it according to the ancient practice,happened to cut one of his fingers. Whereupon the emperor his fatherpublished an edict, commanding all his subjects, upon great penalties, tobreak the smaller end of their eggs. The people so highly resented thislaw, that our histories tell us, there have been six rebellions raised onthat account; wherein one emperor lost his life, and another his crown.These civil commotions were constantly fomented by the monarchs ofBlefuscu; and when they were quelled, the exiles always fled for refugeto that empire. It is computed that eleven thousand persons have atseveral times suffered death, rather than submit to break their eggs atthe smaller end. Many hundred large volumes have been published uponthis controversy: but the books of the Big-endians have been longforbidden, and the whole party rendered incapable by law of holdingemployments. During the course of these troubles, the emperors ofBlefusca did frequently expostulate by their ambassadors, accusing us ofmaking a schism in religion, by offending against a fundamental doctrineof our great prophet Lustrog, in the fifty-fourth chapter of theBlundecral (which is their Alcoran). This, however, is thought to be amere strain upon the text; for the words are these: 'that all truebelievers break their eggs at the convenient end.' And which is theconvenient end, seems, in my humble opinion to be left to every man'sconscience, or at least in the power of the chief magistrate todetermine. Now, the Big-endian exiles have found so much credit in theemperor of Blefuscu's court, and so much private assistance andencouragement from their party here at home, that a bloody war has beencarried on between the two empires for six-and-thirty moons, with varioussuccess; during which time we have lost forty capital ships, and a much agreater number of smaller vessels, together with thirty thousand of ourbest seamen and soldiers; and the damage received by the enemy isreckoned to be somewhat greater than ours. However, they have nowequipped a numerous fleet, and are just preparing to make a descent uponus; and his imperial majesty, placing great confidence in your valour andstrength, has commanded me to lay this account of his affairs beforeyou.
I desired the secretary to present my humble duty to the emperor; and tolet him know, that I thought it would not become me, who was aforeigner, to interfere with parties; but I was ready, with the hazard ofmy life, to defend his person and state against all invaders.