MOTHER SUPERIOR: Indeed, the income doesn’t amount to much. We’d need a fair proportion of that for our beloved convent. We were thinking at least a quarter.
ATTORNEY: Out of the question. The young lady’s brother, Señor de Guzman, has to maintain the family’s position, and he lives exclusively from the rents.
MOTHER SUPERIOR: As far as I am aware, Señor de Guzman is not really in a position to maintain very much at all at the moment.
ATTORNEY: The young lady will live very simply here, as we’ve just heard.
MOTHER SUPERIOR: Simply doesn’t come cheaply.
ATTORNEY: Besides, there’s now the possibility, with this new regime, that the rents will not only be guaranteed, but actually increased.
MOTHER SUPERIOR: Ah yes, but we can’t rely on that. We need to be sure of at least eight thousand a month.
ATTORNEY: I don’t know if we can squeeze that out of the tenants, they’re under considerable pressure as it is. You may have to think twice about all this, Señorita de Guzman.
MOTHER SUPERIOR: Yes, think it over, dear child. That’s how much it costs.
ISABELLA to the attorney: Is it really too expensive?
The attorney takes the girl aside. As he does so, he asks the sisters again.
ATTORNEY: Six thousand? The sisters shake their heads and gaze into the middle distance. The attorney addresses Isabella:
The life on which your heart is set
Will leave your family deep in debt.
ISABELLA crying, because the beautiful life is so hard to attain: But I will have it. There’s nothing wrong in it.
ATTORNEY to the Superior: You might bear in mind, the harvest was abundant this year, so the corn is worth next to nothing, even the landlords are having to cut back.
MOTHER SUPERIOR: We have farmland too. We suffer too. And perhaps you might bear in mind that there’s a very good reason why the young lady wants to come here, the family can expect all kinds of benefits. We’ve already mentioned the little ethnic matter.
ATTORNEY: All right, all right. Just a few more questions. He reads from a sheet: Could the estates pass nominally to the convent? And would the Needy Sisters be prepared, as necessary, to go to court to protect them? Would they sign an undertaking to that effect here and now?
MOTHER SUPERIOR who has nodded to each question: That’s all fine. Your young lady is not the only case we’ve had like this.
ATTORNEY: We’re agreed then. Now we’ve only got to see to it that we can get the money. And that’s not easy in the middle of a civil war. Here are the deeds to the de Guzman estates.
He passes them over. She locks them in the safe.
MOTHER SUPERIOR: So, my dear young lady, we are delighted to welcome you within our quiet walls. You will live peacefully here. The storms of life outside cannot disturb us here. A stone smashes through the window. What’s that? She runs to open the other window. What are those people with armbands doing in our courtyard? She rings, a nun enters.
NUN: Reverend Mother, in the courtyard …
MOTHER SUPERIOR: Not now, dear. Have Señorita de Guzman’s coachman drive up.
NUN: Reverend Mother, there’s been a terrible scene in the courtyard. A man came to the convent with a whole mob of people. There was a young painted woman with them too. When he saw the horses he claimed they were his, he said he was the farmer and he needed them for his plough. He hit the coachman over the head, untied the horses and drove them away. And then he said: Señor de Guzman could go to the gallows on foot.
MOTHER SUPERIOR: This is terrible.
ATTORNEY: Mother Superior, under the circumstances perhaps I might ask you to take the young lady into your care straight away. The streets are evidently no longer entirely safe.
The Mother Superior exchanges glances with the other sisters.
MOTHER SUPERIOR: I rather think the de Guzman estates are in greater danger than the family itself.
ATTORNEY: Are you denying asylum to the young lady?
MOTHER SUPERIOR: Sir, I am responsible for these quiet walls. I hope you understand the situation, don’t make me say what I should prefer to leave unsaid.
ISABELLA: We had better leave.
ATTORNEY: And what is to become of our agreement about the de Guzman estates?
MOTHER SUPERIOR: We shall keep our word, as far as it lies within our power.
The parties bow to each other. The attorney and Isabella exit.
6
What you have you hold.
THE COFFEEHOUSE OF MADAME CORNAMONTIS
Afternoon. The three wealthy landowners, Saz, de Hoz and Peruiner, are seated at a small table surrounded by large suitcases. In the background behind a newspaper, Landlord Callamassi. Behind the bar, Madame Cornamontis knitting and smoking a cigar.
SAZ:
A good idea, let’s just wait here until
Our train goes.
PERUINER:
If one ever goes at all.
DE HOZ:
At least we’re unobtrusive here. And these days
That’s what matters. How are the mighty fallen!
SAZ:
What news from the front? That’s what really matters.
PERUINER:
The news is bad. Is this a time to travel?
DE HOZ:
The Viceroy’s to blame for all this mess.
And Don Duarte, who sent for Iberin.
This talk of round and pointed heads will lure
The peasants from the Sickle, but at a price:
The cloggies threaten us in our backyard.
Noises off.
PERUINER:
What’s all that noise?
SAZ sarcastically:
Behold, the people’s hero!
Since yesterday the whole of Luma’s full
Of Farmer Callas and his horses.
PERUINER:
Frightful.
SAZ:
It could be catching too.
PERUINER:
It could be, very!
Farmer Callas and his daughter come down the street. He is leading two horses on a rope. With him are Farmer Parr, the three Hatsos and people from the street. He leads the horses into the coffeehouse and ties them up at the bar. The people shout, ‘Hooray for Iberin!’ and ‘Hooray for Callas!’.
HATSO: March on, Callas! Get in there, you old sinner!
ANOTHER HATSO: Ladies, gentlemen, you see before you ‘Callas of the horses’, a triumph of Zakkish justice.
MADAME CORNAMONTIS: Good day to you, Nanna. Let me welcome you as a customer in the coffeehouse where you used to work as a waitress.
CALLAS introducing Parr: This is my friend Parr, like me a farmer. – And yes, the horses! There I was, see, just two days ago, walking down the street with my daughter. The case was won, the landlord will hang. But, you see, I’d had no personal advantage from the affair. I was just as needy, so to speak, as ever, except for the honour, that is. They gave me my daughter back, that’s all, and that’s another mouth to feed. Then I see these horses, standing outside the gate of the good-for-nothing Sisters of San Barabas. Ahah, say I to my daughter, our horses! Didn’t he promise you the horses, say I, when he seduced you? In actual fact he did, says my daughter. She was just a bit frightened no one would believe us. And why shouldn’t they, say I, and untie the horses. I’ve had enough injustice.
PARR admiring: He didn’t wait to see if the Governor would give him the horses or not.
CALLAS: No, I thought: what you have, you hold.
He sings the ‘What-You-Have-You-Hold Song’.
THE WHAT-YOU-HAVE-YOU-HOLD SONG
1
There was a man of old
His life was hard and cold.
They said: Just keep on waiting!
He did as he was told.
It was debilitating.
Hail Iberin! You say
But
What you have you hold!
2
The man had had enough
&nb
sp; He started acting tough.
Before long they were quaking:
They promised loads of stuff
Like measures they’d be taking.
Hail Iberin! You say
But
What you have you hold!
3
There was a man of old
He reckoned he’d been sold.
He grabbed what took his fancy.
He’s getting bloody bold
He’s got the upper hand, see.
Hail Iberin! You say
But
What you have you hold!
SAZ: That’s open rebellion!
HATSO: From a Zakkish standpoint it’s one of the great heroic deeds. To be emulated.
Madame Cornamontis is concerned to avoid a scene. She brings Nanna a cup of coffee.
CORNAMONTIS: Perhaps you’d like a cup of coffee, Nanna?
NANNA: No thanks.
CORNAMONTIS: Go on, drink it.
NANNA: I didn’t order it.
CORNAMONTIS: No no, it’s on the house. As she passes Saz, in a whisper: Be careful!
SAZ shrugs her off, to the Hatsos: Do you really think that’s in the spirit of Iberin?
HATSO: Yes indeed sir, it’s exactly in the spirit of Iberin. I suppose you think someone who wears clogs isn’t as good as you? Permit us to clarify matters by singing you our new Iberin song.
The Hatsos sing ‘The New Iberin Song’.
THE NEW IBERIN SONG
1
The master muses day and night
Of things to tickle his whim
And when he’s dreamt up a new delight
His peasants bring it him.
They fetch to his table
As much as they’re able
Wine by the litre
And wurst by the metre.
Even in bed
He still gets fed
On fresh cream buns
While the bathwater runs.
If he’d like a puff
There’s Virginia’s best.
There’s more than enough
At his behest.
And the rich man said: it’s just our way
And that, God willing, is how it’ll stay.
Finding themselves in this situation, dear friends, the peasants went to their lord and master, Iberin, and Iberin went to the landowner and took him down a peg or two. And the landlord was suddenly so small that from that day on he treated his tenants like brothers.
2
He fetches to their table
As much as he’s able
Wine by the litre
And wurst by the metre.
Even in bed
They still get fed
On fresh cream buns
While the bathwater runs.
If they want a puff
There’s Virginia’s best.
There’s more than enough
At their behest.
And the poor folk said: it’s just our song
But that’s how it should have been all along.
The peasants muse now day and night
Of things to tickle their whim
And when they’ve dreamt up a new delight
Their landlords bring it them.
The Hatsos have been demonstrating the song with Farmer Parr. In the first verse they made him bow down to the landlords, but in the second they lift him up onto the table and deck him out with Señor Saz’s hat and the cigars and glasses of de Hoz and Peruiner. Farmer Parr accompanies the whole thing with a little clog dance.
HATSO: Gentlemen, the redistribution of horses and farm machinery to the tenant farmers will soon be implemented. And the farmland too. What Callas has done with the horses has just anticipated what’s going to happen soon anyway.
PARR to Callas: It’s just the same as what the Sickle wants.
CALLAS: It’s more. With the Sickle it’s the village that gets the horses! But you listen: that’s good, anticipate! You’ve heard what I did, my friend. And, all due respect to Señor Iberin – and I’ve got boundless respect for him you know – but if you can happen somehow in the next few days to get a hold of some horses, by chance you know, like me, it wouldn’t be a bad thing. That way you can be certain.
PARR: I understand. Hail Iberin! But what you have, you hold! Callas, you’ve opened my eyes. Now I know what I’ve got to do. He hurries off.
HATSO: Anyway, I’d like to ask you all to lift your glasses and drink to the health of Mr Callas and his horses.
The Hatsos stand up. The wealthy landowners, except for Señor Peruiner, stay seated.
DE HOZ: under his breath: I’m not drinking to the health of a horse thief!
SAZ: Then we’d better leave right away.
They pay, get up and leave.
HATSO: I don’t believe it! They didn’t drink to your health Callas, I don’t like that one bit. From the look of their clothes I’ll bet they’re Ziks.
CALLAS: I know them from somewhere. That’s it, they’re the ones who testified at the trial that my daughter had accosted a Zik. Those are de Guzman’s friends, and his sort too!
HATSOS: Don’t trouble yourself, Callas! We’ll have a little talk about your affairs with these gentlemen.
The Hatsos go after the landowners.
CORNAMONTIS running after the Hatsos: For God’s sake, don’t go molesting the country’s wealthiest landed gentlemen!
CALLAS to Nanna: You haven’t got a bit of cash on you, have you? I’m ravenous.
NANNA: There’s nothing I can do. For three days now Luma has been treating me like a bloody princess, the famous Zakkish maiden. People drink to my health and say how I’ve gone up in the world. For three days nobody’s come near me. I can’t earn a thing. Instead of lust, men look at me with respect. It’s a disaster.
CALLAS: At least you don’t have to go to the whorehouse now. And I’ve got my draught horses. Without lifting a finger!
NANNA: If you ask me, you haven’t got them yet.
The two attorneys of the de Guzman family enter and approach Callas with open arms.
ATTORNEYS: Ah here you are, my dear Mr Callas! We have a wonderful proposition for you. Everything is falling into place. They sit down next to him.
CALLAS: Uhuh.
ATTORNEYS: We are authorised to tell you that a certain family would be prepared, under certain circumstances, to come to an agreement about the two horses.
NANNA: What’s the deal?
CALLAS: You’re talking about a certain Zikkish family?
ATTORNEYS: You must be aware that the case we’re talking about is to be reopened.
CALLAS: No, I didn’t know that.
ATTORNEYS: Well … you can imagine that, in certain quarters, everything possible will be set in motion to see that the judgement is overturned.
CALLAS: You mean, in Zikkish quarters.
ATTORNEYS laughing: In Zikkish quarters. We’ve come into possession of a sworn testimony, according to which your daughter – and we mean her no offence by this – had already had a relationship with a young man before she became acquainted with this particular – Zikkish – gentleman, so that the charge of corrupting a minor ceases to apply.
NANNA: That’s not true.
ATTORNEYS: If you were to admit it, we could start talking about making a gift.
CALLAS: I’ve only one answer to that …
NANNA: Hold on! To the attorneys: Let me talk to my father alone for a minute.
ATTORNEYS: To cut a long story short: you can get yourself two horses for free, if you’re prepared to be sensible.
The attorneys stroll over to the bar.
CALLAS: We’ve got Iberin on our side, that’s why they’re being so nice. We don’t have to throw away the family’s good name for a crust of bread. What do you think?
NANNA: I think we should take the horses. It’s not a question of what Iberin wants. It all depends on the news from the front.
CALLAS: And what is the news from the front?
N
ANNA leafing urgently through the newspaper: This is all lies, but it’s clear the Sickle forces keep advancing. Even here it says they’ve reached the gates of Mirasonnore. That’s where the power station for the capital is. If they take that, they can turn off the lights.
CALLAS: Ah daughter dear, I drain my glass to the health of our good friend Lopez. He must be fighting like a lion. And the landowners are giving away horses. He should be here really: only what you have, you hold.
NANNA: The fortunes of war can change any minute. There are too few of them fighting for the Sickle, and too many like you, who’ve run away.
CALLAS: That’s not how I see it. He beckons the attorneys. Gentlemen, here’s my answer to the de Guzman family: No way! I don’t need to make any accommodations. Read the newspapers. I don’t have to lick your boots any longer!
ATTORNEYS: And the two horses?
CALLAS: I’ve got my horses. They’re outside. And I wouldn’t dream of throwing away the honour of my daughter.
ATTORNEYS: As you wish! They exit.
CALLAMASSI who is sitting at the next table: Trouble, Mr Callas?
CALLAS: Not a bit of it. These Ziks are a load of thickheads. Now they’re trying to bribe me. But I’ve got the measure of them. They wanted to make me a gift of the horses. That’s what it’s come to. But they wanted me to dishonour myself too. Typical Ziks. They think you can deal with everything in base material terms. Oh yes, the Governor knew what he was talking about all right! Gentlemen, the days when I had to sell my honour are long gone. I can’t think of these things in such base terms now. They’d better mark my words! See how stupid the Ziks are: now I’ve got my horses just for letting a Zik get his grubby hands on my daughter. Not many people could pull off a trick like that. My daughter’s no better looking than any girl her age, but just take a look at the horses! I’ve got them outside. And – between you and me – there was never really any talk of giving me the horses in exchange for the girl.
NANNA sees that he’s drunk: We should be getting on our way now, Father.
CALLAS: It’s a joke! Señor de Guzman just turned a blind eye when I used them. Who’d trade two horses like that for a girl? You should take a look at the horses, really!
CALLAMASSI: Mr Callas, it will be an honour to take a look at your horses.
Nanna drags her father out by the coat-tails. Callamassi follows them. There is a radio announcement: ‘The power station at Mirasonnore is under threat from the Sickle. Will the capital be without power tonight?’ The wealthy landowners Saz, de Hoz and Peruiner burst in through the back door. They are hurt. Madame Cornamontis enters after them.