CORNAMONTIS: Oh dear, gentlemen, you would have done better to stand up and drink to the health of Mr Callas. After all, he’s a folk hero now.

  SAZ: Pull down the blinds, quickly! The Hatsos are after us!

  PERUINER: Water and bandages!

  Madame Cornamontis brings them water and bandages and they start to bandage themselves.

  SAZ: Once the Sickle is crushed all these louts will hang.

  PERUINER to Madame Cornamontis: My arm is quite limp. But you’d better bandage my head!

  CORNAMONTIS: I don’t see any hurt there, Señor.

  PERUINER: But the point, my dear, the point!

  There is a knock. A man enters.

  THE MAN: You called for a doctor. I’m a doctor.

  PERUINER yells: Off with your hat!

  The man takes off his hat. He has a pointed head.

  PERUINER: What are you? You’re a Zik!

  THE MAN shouts: I’m a doctor!

  SAZ:

  And if they find you here, it’s us they’ll kill.

  The man exits.

  DE HOZ to Peruiner:

  It’s all because of you, ’cause you’re a Zik.

  They’d never have pursued us else.

  PERUINER:

  I wonder.

  I think it’s what we’re wearing. We look rich.

  We’re at the mercy of the mob, I fear!

  And all because of the de Guzman judgement!

  It was folly that we landlords let

  One of our own fall to the angry mob.

  We thought we sacrificed a Zik, but they

  Sated their bloodlust on a landlord!

  DE HOZ:

  What can we do?

  We’ll never make it to the station now.

  There is a knock. Madame Cornamontis opens the door cautiously. Enter Missena.

  MISSENA eagerly:

  Delighted to see you here!

  SAZ:

  Your humble servants.

  No really. Humbled, hounded, beaten up

  In broad daylight, by thugs employed by you!

  DE HOZ:

  What news from the front?

  MISSENA:

  Not good.

  SAZ:

  Just spit it out!

  MISSENA:

  We’re losing! Our troops are scattered and dispersed

  In headlong flight.

  PERUINER:

  And where’s the fighting now?

  MISSENA:

  They’re fighting over Mirasonnore

  And for the power station.

  SAZ:

  By God! That’s close!

  MISSENA:

  So now you see you have to act! We must

  Have money! Money’s what we need now! Money!

  PERUINER:

  Money! Money! Money! Money! Money!

  All well and good. But what can it achieve?

  SAZ:

  It was Iberin’s militia beat us up!

  MISSENA:

  There’s little can be done, my friends, to help

  If he can’t give his men a decent meal.

  Iberin’s plan is this: to hire half

  The country’s poor, and pay them well, that they

  Subdue the other half – with force of arms.

  So please, let’s all, both Zak and Zik, put up

  As big a loan as you can muster. Or else

  We’re done for!

  The lights flicker and go out.

  SAZ:

  Hey, what’s happened to the lights?

  MISSENA solemnly:

  Mirasonnore has fallen, friends!

  CORNAMONTIS brings a candle: For God’s sake, what on earth will become of us now, gentlemen? If it goes on like this the Sickle will be in Luma tomorrow.

  DE HOZ:

  So what’s the answer?

  MISSENA:

  Money.

  SAZ:

  Money, huh!

  There’s only finance where there’s confidence.

  It’s not that I’m complaining of our beating.

  So long as property’s protected, let

  Them thump me on the head from time to time.

  The question is: what happens to our rents?

  MISSENA:

  Rent is property and so it’s sacred.

  PERUINER:

  And what about this Callas and his horses?

  MISSENA:

  What do you want?

  SAZ:

  To see your conquering hero

  Arraigned! At once and publicly! The horses

  Taken from him! At once and publicly!

  MISSENA:

  All right: you pay – we’ll put him back on trial.

  I know that Iberin gets quite upset

  About the petty greed amongst the peasants.

  But stop complaining. Till the Sickle’s smashed

  There’s no way we can stop him taking horses,

  And anyone can grab whate’er they please.

  But if you help us smash the Sickle, then

  De Guzman’s might will be restored, along with his horses.

  We won’t even need to execute poor Callas!

  His horses are at issue, not his life.

  His life depends on them, not they on him!

  Let’s go to Iberin! Just one more thing though:

  Tread softly when the subject turns to money!

  Iberin’s lofty soul can scarce endure

  To lower itself to base material things.

  The Zakkish spirit on its own should vanquish

  Any foe. Just offer him your finance

  Which, as we know, is sorely needed – gently,

  Unselfishly, enthusiastically …

  And he’ll accept a gift that’s freely made!

  PERUINER:

  I guess a head like mine …

  He taps his pointed head.

  … will not be welcome.

  MISSENA:

  Oh, in his hour of need he’ll learn to like it.

  PERUINER:

  He’ll take no finance from a Zik.

  MISSENA:

  He will,

  I’ll wager that he will. But let’s make haste!

  7

  THE VICEROY’S PALACE

  Again there is a trial in progress. But the court is much changed. A large chandelier, a carpet, new uniforms for the officials, all indicate a new wealth. The old judge is wearing a new robe and smoking a fat cigar. The inspector is no longer barefoot. While the officials, under Missena’s supervision, are constructing the courtroom, the judge sings the ‘Song of the Stimulating Impact of Cash’ to a quiet musical accompaniment.

  SONG OF THE STIMULATING EFFECT OF CASH

  1

  People keep on saying cash is sordid

  Yet this world’s a cold place if you’re short.

  Not so once you can afford it

  And have ample cash support.

  No need then to feel you’ve been defrauded

  Everything is bathed in rosy light

  Warming all you set your eyes on

  Giving each what’s his by right.

  Sunshine spreads to the horizon.

  Just watch the smoke; the fire’s alight.

  Then things soon become as different as they can.

  Longer views are taken. Hearts beat harder.

  Proper food to eat. Looking much smarter.

  And your man is quite a different man.

  2

  O you’re all so hopelessly mistaken

  If you think cash flow has no effect.

  Fertile farms produce no bacon

  When the water-pump’s been wrecked.

  Now men grab as much as they can collect.

  Once they’d standards they used not to flout.

  If your belly’s full you don’t start shooting.

  Now there’s so much violence about.

  Father, mother, brothers put the boot in.

  Look, no more smoke now: the fire’s gone out.

&nbs
p; Everything explodes, incendiaries are hurled

  Smash-and-grab’s the rule; it’s a disaster.

  Every little servant thinks he’s master

  And the world’s a very bitter world.

  3

  That’s the fate of all that’s noble and splendid

  People quickly write it off as trash

  Since with empty stomach and unmended

  Footwear nobody’s equipped to cut a dash.

  They don’t want what’s good, they want the cash

  And their instinct’s to be mean and tight.

  But when Right has got the cash to back it

  It’s got what it takes to see it right.

  Never mind your dirty little racket

  Just watch the smoke now: the fire’s alight.

  Then you start believing in humanity once more:

  Everyone’s a saint, as white as plaster.

  Principles grow stronger. Just like before.

  Wider views are taken. Hearts beat faster.

  You can tell the servant from the master.

  So the law is once again the law.

  The inspector writes up on a blackboard in large letters: ‘The Convent of San Barabas versus Farmer Callas. At issue: 2 horses.’ Projection: ‘Government troops send reinforcements in counter-attack against the Sickle.’ Iberin comes out of the palace.

  IBERIN:

  What news from the front?

  MISSENA:

  A mighty change of fortune.

  The advancing Sickle troops were held last night

  And in the early dawn our troops, refreshed

  With all their reinforcements, countered boldly:

  Now Mirasonnore will be decisive.

  Around the power station at this moment,

  Which fell in Sickle hands three days ago,

  The present battle rages. – Will you, Señor,

  Conduct this trial?

  IBERIN:

  Nothing is decided.

  When we’re victorious, then I’ll give my verdict,

  And not before.

  MISSENA:

  Well let the trial begin.

  IBERIN:

  As you think best.

  He goes back inside the palace.

  MISSENA:

  As ever undecided!

  But let’s begin.

  Your Honour, a word in your ear if I may!

  He takes the judge aside and talks quietly to him until the parties enter. Then he exits.

  INSPECTOR: The Convent of San Barabas versus Farmer

  Callas. At issue: two horses.

  Farmer Callas and his daughter, Isabella de Guzman, the Mother Superior of San Barabas and the attorneys are admitted to the courtroom.

  CALLAS: I’ll show him how his great ideas get put into practice. He’ll soon say whether a Zik has the right to take away the horses a Zak needs to plough his fields.

  NANNA: But that way you could just take any horse that happened to be standing around.

  CALLAS: Any Zikkish horse.

  ZAKKISH ATTORNEY loudly:

  What news from the front?

  MOTHER SUPERIOR:

  This morning’s news is good.

  ATTORNEY:

  That’s excellent. It all depends on that.

  ISABELLA:

  Oh Reverend Mother, how I wish this row

  About mere worldly goods might soon be over!

  NANNA: Pointy head, better off dead. Pause. Pious cow! Mind you, she’s got a backside like a princess. She’s well-fed, she could handle the trade. But of course her sort don’t need to work. To Callas: And you’re the one who pays for it.

  CALLAS: Me? I don’t pay for anything. To the women: You’ll get nothing more out of me.

  MOTHER SUPERIOR: Dear child, it will be a good thing when you can come and live within our quiet walls.

  NANNA: Yes, that’ll do her good. The silly cow needs a rest from doing nothing.

  CALLAS: Zikkish scum!

  NANNA: It’s the old judge again. That’s bad.

  CALLAS: The only bad thing is that there’s no one here this time. But we’ll soon see who gets justice today.

  MOTHER SUPERIOR: Yes indeed, my good man, we shall soon see.

  NANNA: At least darling brother will swing for it.

  Isabella comes over faint.

  NANNA shouting: She’ll need the two horses, to shlep all her fancy stuff into the nunnery.

  MOTHER SUPERIOR: You be quiet. She goes over to Callas. You think you’re something special, I suppose, because you have a round head? You think that means you won’t have to pay? Well, today you’ll learn who it is you’ll have to pay.

  CALLAS: Not a Zik, whatever happens.

  The Mother Superior takes his hand and lays it on her own head.

  NANNA: What’s that supposed to mean?

  MOTHER SUPERIOR: You’ll see. In any case, our heads are as round as yours.

  NANNA to her father: It’s looking bad for the Sickle. And here things look very different from last week. They’ve got new money. That’s not good.

  CALLAS: I put my trust in Iberin.

  Projection: ‘Recent death sentence for wealthy landowner impresses the farmers. Many abandon the Sickle and return to their farms.’

  JUDGE: Señor Iberin is very busy, nevertheless he insists on passing judgement himself in this case – which is the talk of the capital, and which raises the fundamental issue of property.

  CALLAS: I’d like to make it clear, my case rests on a statement by our Governor himself, that the rent in future is a paltry matter. Then there’s his other statement: ‘What are horses!’ And anyway, I’ve been dealt an injustice.

  JUDGE: All in good time, my friend. First we shall hear the attorney of the de Guzman family.

  ZAKKISH ATTORNEY: The man has not the slightest claim to the horses.

  NANNA: Whereas the young lady does have a claim: she prays on horseback, I suppose.

  JUDGE: Silence! – Now, explain why you took the horses.

  CALLAS: When my daughter was abused by the landlord it was agreed that I should get the horses.

  ZAKKISH ATTORNEY:

  It was a deal then, I suppose?

  Callas is silent.

  A deal:

  We said: Give us your daughter, farmer,

  And we will give you horses. Laughable!

  You’d never sell your daughter’s honour, would you

  For just two horses. Or perhaps you would?

  CALLAS:

  It wasn’t a deal.

  ZAKKISH ATTORNEY:

  What then?

  CALLAS to Nanna:

  Now what’s he want?

  NANNA: Say you received the horses as a gift.

  ZAKKISH ATTORNEY:

  Then when?

  CALLAS:

  What is this, when?

  ZAKKISH ATTORNEY:

  Before or after?

  CALLAS: I don’t see why I should answer to Ziks. He looks around expecting applause, but sees only stony faces. M’lord, this is a trick, I’m sure. These pointed questions could only come from a pointed head.

  JUDGE:

  If you received a prior promise, then –

  I could insist you answer this – that means

  That you’re your daughter’s pimp. The court presumes

  It took place afterwards: your landlord gave

  You horses, in exchange you promised silence.

  The horses were a sop, because he’d wronged you.

  CALLAS: Yes, it was afterwards. Yes, they were a sop. Because the landlord wronged me he gave me the horses as a sop.

  Projection: ‘Advances on the Southern front. The Sickle on the defensive.’

  ZIKKISH ATTORNEY aside to his colleague:

  No talk of Zak and Zik from the bench today!

  ZAKKISH ATTORNEY replies: I’ve noticed. He turns to the court: Your Honour, ladies and gentlemen, we too are of the opinion that this case is of vital interest to the whole nation. One might think: why sho
uld two horses more or less matter to one of the largest landowners on the island? But that is not the issue.

  If we give these two horses to that farmer

  Then every farmer will take every horse.

  NANNA: And the silly cow won’t be able to go to the nunnery to take a rest from doing nothing.

  MOTHER SUPERIOR loudly:

  The peasants in the Southern shires drive

  Our horses from our stables, steal our ploughs,

  And scream that they’ve been dealt injustice, then

  They squat on our land and dare to argue that

  Their outraged land and livestock were not theirs already!

  ZAKKISH ATTORNEY: Your Honour, there’s a man who’s been in prison since yesterday, he’s also a farmer. I should like to call him.

  The judge nods.

  INSPECTOR calls: Call Farmer Parr!

  NANNA: What do they want with Parr?

  CALLAS: It doesn’t mean a thing, these are just tricks.

  Parr is led in in heavy chains.

  ZAKKISH ATTORNEY: I believe you were with Mr Callas when he arrived with the horses at the coffeehouse of Madame Cornamontis?

  PARR: Yes sir.

  ZAKKISH ATTORNEY: And you are also a tenant farmer of the de Guzman family?

  PARR: Yes sir.

  ZIKKISH ATTORNEY: When you left the coffeehouse you walked the five hours back to your homestead, and drove away two horses from the de Guzman family estate?

  PARR: Yes sir.

  ZIKKISH ATTORNEY: What was your reason?

  Farmer Parr is silent.

  ZAKKISH ATTORNEY: You have no daughter, Mr Parr?

  PARR: No sir.

  ZAKKISH ATTORNEY: So this was not a gift from the de Guzman family?

  Farmer Parr is silent.

  ZAKKISH ATTORNEY: Why did you expropriate the horses?

  PARR: Because I needed them.

  The attorneys smile at one another.

  JUDGE: But God in heaven, man, that’s no reason!

  PARR: Perhaps not for you, but it is for me! My field is just a bog, and I’ve got to have horses to plough it, anyone can see that.

  ZIKKISH ATTORNEY: Mr Callas, is your field also a bog?

  Farmer Callas is silent.

  PARR: It’s just the same.

  ZAKKISH ATTORNEY: Mr Callas, did you also need the horses?

  CALLAS: Yes sir, I mean no. I mean, I didn’t take them because I needed them, but because they were given to me.

  ZAKKISH ATTORNEY: So you don’t approve of your friend’s action?

  CALLAS: No, I don’t. To Parr: How can you just help yourself to horses? You didn’t have the slightest claim to them.

  PARR: You don’t have a claim either.