Fingers pinched her nipples again, this time sharp and hard and biting. Chase barked at her. “Don’t you go somewhere else. You’re here with us.”
She was here with them. She was safe.
“Tell me.” Ben put a hand on her chin. She could smell her arousal on his fingers. It reminded her of just how intimate she’d gotten with these men.
She thought about lying, but all those hours with Janine really had worked her over. Honesty. It was the only thing that would work. And she was a little worried they would know if she lied. She didn’t want to disappoint them. She wanted to please them. Damn. She wanted them to be proud of her.
“It was just a flash. I get them sometimes. The longer I go, the more I forget the specifics, but sometimes it’s like I’m back there.”
Chase’s nose ran along her neck. He seemed to love to smell her. It was something most normal guys would try to hide or cover up, but Chase just seemed to follow his instincts. “You’re here with us now. You’re safe. What was the flashback about? What brought it about? Touching you? No. You were relaxed. It was me.”
He pulled his hands off her breasts.
“No.” She reached for them, trying to draw them back. She could feel his reluctance, but he cupped her again. She pressed her breasts against his palms, trying to let him know she wanted it. She would have to make them understand. “You pinched my nipples, and I thought about how nice it would be to have rings there that you could play with. That’s what made me think about it.”
“All right.” Chase’s voice was deep and even, as though he was holding off judgment. “I’m actually a bit surprised the VCH and the tongue ring are the only modifications you have.”
Ben picked up his brother’s line of thinking. “It would be a way for the fucker to mark you. I was thinking about nipple rings, too. I was thinking about picking them out and then finding a chain we could run from your nipples down to your clit. I want to mark you, and I’m not a crazed asshole.”
“He is from time to time,” Chase muttered. “Don’t let him fool you. There’s only one reason for Hawk to not place a ‘property of’ sign on you. He tattooed Kitten after all.”
She’d seen it. Both Gretchen and Kitten had been forcibly tattooed with a nasty-looking hawk on their shoulder blades. Chase was right. It was a property sign. She’d been terrified of having to sit still for it. And now she was finally putting together the clues. “He didn’t mean to keep me. Kitten was right.”
It was easier to talk with their hands on her. Chase stroked her breasts while Ben’s fingers dipped back into her pussy, playing lightly. Reward. It felt like a reward for being honest, but she rather thought they would see it differently. Comfort. They were comforting her.
“I don’t know that Kitten is the most reliable witness, but in this, I think she’s right,” Chase said. “Ben, Kitten says she overheard Hawk talking about selling Natalie to another Dom. I’ll admit that this whole incident was over with by the time Ben and I began working with Julian. I know there’s a file at our office and I’ve looked through it, but I didn’t expend an enormous amount of energy thinking about it besides the fact that I knew you’d killed a man before.”
And sometimes Chase’s lack of a filter was annoying. “So you thought I’d done in Stan?”
His fingers bit at her nipples again. It seemed to be his default way of telling her to hush. She might have been offended if it hadn’t felt so damn good. “We’re talking about the other massive criminal operation you were involved in.”
Well, that made it sound bad. “It wasn’t like I was happy about being involved.”
Ben thumped a finger against her piercing, causing her to squeal a little. “No sarcasm right now.” He frowned, obviously thinking. “My initial thoughts were that he was building a harem, but I think you’re right, Chase. Especially if Kitten overheard him.”
There was a little huff on the back of her neck. “I’m always right. It makes a person wonder. They didn’t find anything about other men being involved.”
“Hawk was careful. Always. I think he conducted business over the phone and then in very careful words.” She shivered a little. Someone had wanted to buy her. She could have been shipped off to some foreign country and no one would have seen her again if Kitten hadn’t been brave enough to steal that knife.
“You’re fine, sweetness. No one is going to take you again.” Chase let go of her nipples and hugged her. “What would make you feel better? What used to make you feel secure?”
Ropes. She’d enjoyed being tied up in a neat little package, but her muscles ached at the thought. She couldn’t. Not yet. “I liked being flogged.”
She could try that. The spanking had done wonders for her. Maybe the flogger would be the same.
Ben frowned. “Normally I would put you on the cross.”
She shook her head. “No. No. I can’t. Not yet.”
Chase moved away from her. “I can handle it. Lay yourself out on the bed, arms out. I’m going to use a warm-up flogger. Deerskin. Very easy.”
She was brutally self-conscious as he hauled her up. Just seconds before she hadn’t thought about her nudity, but their hands had been on her. Now she could only feel the cool air on her skin.
The bed. She glanced to the corner of the play space. There was a giant bed with a soft, fluffy comforter and lots of pillows. She could see numerous hooks that could be adjusted hanging down from the ceiling. The whole guesthouse was tricked out for D/s play. But Chase was right. She couldn’t handle being tied down. Tying her to one of the overhead hooks would be the best way to use the flogger, but if Chase was careful, she would be fine on the bed. Deerskin was soft, a perfect entryway flogger.
Ben led her to the bed, his hand holding hers. God, this would be so much easier if they were naked, but she understood what they were doing. A longtime sub would be used to nudity. She or he wouldn’t blink if their Masters sat around fully clothed while they were naked.
Still, she wanted to go back to that moment when Ben’s hands were on her pussy and she could feel Chase behind her.
“Natalie, this is what I’m going to use on you. It’s going to give you a thud, not a sting.” Chase pulled a soft pink flogger from his bag. He held it out, offering for her to touch the falls.
Soft. Each one was buttery soft. She’d had much worse used on her, but this would work to see if she could handle it. Unless Chase Dawson simply sucked with a flogger, it should give her nothing but a good thud. She took a long breath and nodded.
She would survive this. She got to her knees and spread out on the bed, her breasts against the silky comforter. How bad could it be? Her heart raced just a little as she put her arms out. She was well aware that every muscle in her body was tight.
He was going to beat her with a flogger. Hawk had a flogger. He’d had several, but his favorite had been cowhide with steel spikes on the ends. Her skin had been flayed when she misbehaved. After that first time, she’d learned to fear the flogger. She was pretty sure she still had scars. The initial time he’d punished her with it, she’d been sure she would die. He’d tied her to the cross on the wall and by the time he was done, she couldn’t hold her own body weight up. She’d needed the straps.
Gretchen and Kitten had doctored her wounds and carried her back to the cage. Hawk had just left her on the floor, bleeding.
Thud.
The flogger hit her back. No pain, just that sound she’d forgotten. Thud. Thud. Thud.
The flogger found her right shoulder. Her left shoulder, and then her back. Chase rapidly found about six spots on her back and formed a nice pattern.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
No pain. Just that buttery soft massage she’d forgotten. Survive? She didn’t have to survive this. This sank into her skin, relaxing her very being.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
Like pounding, silky rain on her skin.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
Like the sound of a train travelling, taking her somepla
ce new, someplace safe.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
Familiar and yet new. That sound, the pleasant slap against her flesh, caused her lungs to fill and release.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
Her vision softened until she closed her eyes because she didn’t need to see. She only needed to feel.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
Natalie gave up her worries and let herself finally float in that place she’d thought she’d lost forever, that place that was her birthright, subspace.
The world fled and she was happy for the first time in years.
Chapter Twelve
“She subs so fast.” Ben watched Nat’s eyes glaze. Twelve strokes of that flogger in and her gaze went soft and unfocused, her lips curling slightly. Her eyes drifted closed. She practically sank into the bed.
The thudding noise of the flogger continued. Chase was working his magic, the flogger swiveling, moving across her skin. His brother’s arms moved in a perfect symphony. “She’s a sub. She needs this.”
Chase had relaxed, too. Big brother had been deeply worried. Ben had felt it. So much was riding on whether or not Natalie could handle D/s play. Ben knew Chase thought he would be perfectly fine living a vanilla life, but he was fucking wrong.
Ben needed this, too. He needed the deep connection between a Dom and a sub. He needed that trust. Natalie wasn’t thinking about her past. She wasn’t thinking about horrible things. She wasn’t worried. She was…asleep.
“Bro, she’s out.”
Chase laid one last perfectly thudded slap to her shoulders and pulled what Ben liked to think of as the pussy-assed starter flogger back. He sighed with a deep contentment. “I don’t think she goes to sleep easily. I bet this is the first time she’s simply fallen asleep when she didn’t mean to in a long time. It’s a breakthrough.”
“I’m not so sure. Let’s get her to let us tie her up and we’ll see, but it’s obvious she trusts us.”
Nat’s back rose and fell with her breath. Her arms were wide spread, as though embracing the bed. Her round ass was still a delightful pink.
And he was still scared she wouldn’t be able to pull this off.
“How is this going to work if she can’t stand to be tied down? We can’t take a submissive in who balks when we bring out the rope.” He didn’t want to take her in at all. He wanted to take her straight back to Dallas. He and Chase had a large suite in Julian Lodge’s supersecure building. She wouldn’t ever have to leave. They could take years to work on her issues. She would be safe and they would find a way to keep her happy. They would find a way to be happy.
He was rapidly becoming sure she was the key to their happiness.
Chase walked around the edge of the bed and pulled the covers down. “Lower the lights. She doesn’t get much sleep as it is. I heard her pacing last night. I think the whole ‘not sleeping with her’ thing isn’t working. I get why Janine wants us to take it slow, but she hasn’t slept really well since that first night when we were with her. I don’t want to wake her.”
Ben crossed the room and turned the little round button that lowered the lights. Late-afternoon sun streamed through the windows, caressing Natalie’s skin, lighting up that perfectly colored hair of hers. With more tenderness than Ben had ever seen him use, Chase lifted her up and put her under the covers.
Her eyes opened briefly. “What happened?”
“Nothing at all, sweetness.” He kissed her forehead and her eyes closed again. She snuggled down.
Chase stood up, his face turning toward Ben. That face Ben knew so well was completely open for the first time, his brother’s eyes filled with a heartbreaking need. “I don’t want her hurt.”
Ben motioned his brother over. For the first time in forever, Chase needed him for more than a way to smooth over his rougher parts. He felt the good parts of the connection for the first time in years. He let his voice go soft as Chase got close. “We can protect her.”
Chase didn’t shrug him off when he put a hand on his shoulder. “Why don’t we protect her by taking her back to Dallas and locking her up?”
Ben sighed. When it was said out loud, it was damn easy to see why it wouldn’t work. “She’s already been locked up, Chase.”
“Damn it, we’re doing it for the best of reasons. She doesn’t belong out in the field. We can take her out of here and no one will give a damn about who killed fat, obnoxious Stan in a few years.”
Ben laughed, but there was no humor in it. “Have you watched cable TV lately? There are whole channels dedicated to unsolved murders. It would never end. We have to clear her. In order to clear her, we need her to come with us. We need her to back us up. We need her to figure this out so we can all move forward.”
Chase stared back at her. “I don’t know if I can leave her.”
“I hope we won’t have to.” The flogging gave him some hope. And that little diamond on her clit. She’d marked herself. It was a way of taking back her power. She’d started taking steps before she even realized it.
She was more ready than she thought.
But they had to get through the dangerous shit and clear her name before they could even think about starting anything serious with Natalie.
And the first thing to do was figure out how to get into that damn club. The drugs were tied to the club. Every instinct in his body told him it was true. According to all the rumors, the real drugs hadn’t shown up until six months ago. Before it had been all pot and a little low-grade meth. Now there was heroin in the area. And it all happened as this club showed up.
“You have your thinking face on,” Chase said with a frown.
“I have a thinking face?”
“Yes, but don’t get excited. It’s also your ‘I need to take a piss’ face.”
His brother was such an asshole. He wanted to share Nat with him, why? He shoved his middle finger his brother’s way. “I was thinking that we need to find out where the drugs are coming from.”
He didn’t mention that he was also thinking about using the bathroom. He was going to hold it, damn it. Stupid coffee.
Chase grinned just a little, as though he could read his brother’s mind. “Well, we know that one of the Barnes-Fleetwood ranch hands was a customer. Barnes didn’t investigate likely because he didn’t want to fire anyone else. Good hands are hard to find, but they also tend to stick together. If one was involved, someone knew the details, even if they weren’t using themselves.”
“And the drugs could lead us to the club.”
Chase nodded. “We’ve been in almost every bar in a fifty-mile radius. So I’m up for trying anything. It’s a reasonable assumption that someone here knows something. So we should try talking to the ranch hands.”
Yes, those salt-of-the-earth men would immediately open up for his erudite prick of a brother. No. “Uhm, I think we need someone else to get them talking. They won’t talk to us. They wouldn’t talk to Barnes. They’re going to be worried about their jobs. Whether or not they took the drugs, they’re going to cover their own asses.”
A truly dumb plan was forming in the back of his head. Yes, it might be the stupidest idea he’d ever had, and that was what made it just the tiniest bit brilliant.
Chase sighed, conceding the point. “What do you suggest?”
Ben felt a smile cross his face. “Well, first we call Kitten to come in here and stay with Natalie. I know this is a safe location, but I don’t want her left alone even for a minute.”
Chase shrugged. “Natalie will wake up cuddled up to a naked Kitten. She’ll be thrilled.” He frowned. “Could we take pictures?”
“Use your imagination.” Though he understood his brother’s inclinations, he didn’t think Natalie would pose for some lesbian fantasy pictures anytime soon.
“Fine. So we leave Kitten behind as an alarm and then do what? I don’t seriously think either one of us could pass for a new hand. I don’t do cattle.”
Chase wasn’t the outdoorsy type. None of the Dawsons were
really, but there was one Dawson who might have a chance to get a lonely cowboy talking.
“No.” Chase went a little pale. “Brother, you’re insane if you think Georgia can pull this off.”
Insanity did run in the family. And it was time to put it to good use.
Twenty minutes later, he sat huddled with Chase and Logan as Georgia twirled her blonde hair and did a giggle thing that kind of made him want to vomit. The bile was there because his baby sister had managed to thrust her boobs out and they jiggled with each laugh.
He turned from the monitor they had set up in the kitchen. Luckily Chase always carried around some surveillance equipment, this one a very small camera they had placed in the living area of the dormitory.
Georgia had been terrifically excited at the idea of going undercover, and so far she’d done her job. She caught a couple of cowboys with her “woe is me, I need a drink of water” routine and she’d perfectly set them up to get caught on tape.
“OMG, this place is so cool,” Georgia said, leaning over and touching one of the cowboys on the arm. “Did y’all decorate it yourself?”
The cowboy, who couldn’t be much past twenty-one, swallowed visibly. “No, ma’am. That was Mrs. Barnes. She did a great job making sure we’re all comfortable. We’re very grateful to have her take such good care of us.”
“Mrs. Barnes is a wonderful lady,” Cowboy Number Two said, his shoulders up near his ears. It was brutally obvious neither of the young men were used to female visitors.
Georgia giggled, and Ben wondered why she’d bothered with that tank top. It barely covered anything at all. He turned and noticed Chase had a look of revulsion on his face, too.
Logan, however, was practically drooling.
Ben quietly slapped Logan upside the head. “Dude, sister.”
Logan shrugged. “It’s not like I want to look, man. My eyes just go there.” He frowned as he looked back down. “And if you want to slap somebody, slap that motherfucker. The cowboy hasn’t stopped staring since they let her in the dorm. I don’t know that they’re supposed to have females in there, anyway.”