She pulled a little back from him after the kiss ended. “What is it?” she asked, studying his face.
Kegan decided that one aspect of being fashioned for one another was the fact that they could read each other perhaps a little too easily.
“In Oklahoma do they have a thing called soul mates?”
Morrigan looked surprised at the question. “I guess so.” She thought about her grandparents. “Yeah, I suppose they do. I told you my grandparents raised me, right?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I’d say that they’re soul mates. I can’t imagine one without the other, and they’ve been married forever.”
He nodded, but hesitated, not sure how to frame what it was he wished to say to her. “Yes, that is one kind of soul mate. A couple who finds one another and spends their lives together. Often when one dies, the other follows soon after.”
Morrigan’s forehead wrinkled. “Kegan, I don’t like to think about anything happening to either of them.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—” Kegan broke off and sighed deeply. Then he started anew. “I’m going about this badly. I have no experience in this kind of thing.”
Morrigan grinned impishly. “Could have fooled me.”
He gave a playful tug to the lock of her hair he had been twining around his finger. “Not that kind of thing. What I mean is I have little experience trying to describe what it is when two people are literally fashioned for one another by the gods—when it’s preordained at their birth that the two should unite and spend their lives as one. Is that something couples experience in Oklahoma?”
“In books.”
“Books?”
“Yeah, people write about it in books and…” Morrigan paused, seemed uncomfortable suddenly, and then, awkwardly, began busying herself with rewrapping the red material of her gown around her. “Uh, it’s always happily ever after in books. My friend Gena calls it Romancia Landia. You know, star-crossed lovers, soul mates, made for each other, blah, blah, sob, blah.”
“You do not believe it’s possible for one person to be solely fashioned for another?”
She must have noticed the change in his tone, because she looked up from fastening her dress. Morrigan shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it.”
“Think about it.”
“Huh?”
Kegan rubbed his hand through his hair. The conversation was definitely not going the way he’d intended. He hadn’t meant to sound short with her, but the way she was discounting what he was saying made his gut clench. “Morrigan, what I’m trying to tell you is that I think we may have been fashioned for one another.” She just stared at him without saying anything, so he hurried on. “You are a powerful priestess, with perhaps as great a gift as Epona’s own Chosen. The Goddess always fashions a centaur High Shaman to love Epona’s Chosen. I believe Adsagsona may have fashioned me as your mate, as your High Shaman.”
Morrigan blinked a couple of times, like she needed to clear her vision. “But I’m not Epona’s Chosen.”
“I know, but doesn’t it make sense that a High Priestess with the great and unusual gift of being a Light Bringer would need a mate who is more her equal, more than a mere man?”
“I guess it might, but you make it sound awful cold. More like a business arrangement than, well, Romancia Landia.”
That made him smile. “I said I had little experience in speaking of these things, and that I was doing it badly.” He took her hand gently in his, and then pressed it against his bare chest over his heart. “The true reason I believe I was fashioned to love you can be found in here, where my bumbling words cannot make a mess of it.”
“Kegan, I don’t know what to say.” She pulled her hand from his and started going through the basket of food. “I mean, I had a good time tonight and I really do like you, but everything’s so confusing for me right now I just can’t think long-term about a relationship.”
Abruptly he stood and paced several feet away from her. What had just happened? How could she be rejecting him? Had he mistaken what he saw in her eyes? Felt in her touch?
“Kegan? Are you mad at me?”
He spoke over his shoulder to her. “No. I need to call the Change to me, though.”
“Okay, I’ll be quiet,” she said.
He turned his back to her, but he could still feel her eyes on him. Forcing his mind to clear and then focus, he reached into himself and then beyond, to touch and then join that spark of divinity that connects everything in the world—that shifts spirit and matter until one is interchangeable with the other. Kegan breathed in the divine and welcomed the pain as it sliced through him while sinew and bone, muscle, blood and skin shifted and Changed to form centaur.
“That is so amazing.”
Still breathing hard, he turned around to find Morrigan watching him.
“You are so amazing,” Morrigan continued.
Then she dropped the wineskin she had been holding and walked over to him. Kegan felt the tightness in his chest begin to relax as she touched his face and then stepped into his arms.
“You’re going to have to give me some time,” she said. “So much has changed for me so quickly. I just don’t know if I can handle anything else.”
Kegan heard himself saying words that just days before would have made him disdain the speaker. “I could help you. You don’t have to be alone. You don’t have to depend only upon yourself.”
Morrigan raised that slim brow at him. “Shouldn’t I be depending on my goddess?”
“Perhaps you should consider the possibility that it was your goddess who brought me to you, and that it is her will that we be together.” Kegan bent and kissed her, claiming not simply her mouth as his own, but her soul. As Morrigan responded he felt the fierce joy of it beat strong within his chest. She would be his. She must be his.
When the kiss ended he was relieved to see that she was breathless. Then he really looked at her and realized that her eyes held an odd expression, almost as if she was trying not to weep.
“Kegan, I have to tell you something.”
Worry squeezed his chest as he tried to smile. “What is it, my flame?”
“You know how much I look like Myrna?”
Confused, he nodded. “Yes, but I explained that I didn’t actually care for her.”
“I know. It’s not that.” She drew a deep breath and Kegan thought she looked like she was readying herself to plunge into cold water. “There was someone in Oklahoma who looked as much like you as I look like Myrna.”
Kegan felt as if she had punched him in the stomach. “I don’t understand.”
“I don’t either, not really.”
“But you said there were no centaurs in your land.”
“There aren’t. Kyle looks like you when you’re in human form. Exactly like you.”
The truth hit him. “You loved this man.”
She flushed, which Kegan found more telling than her spoken answer. “No, I didn’t love him. I didn’t know him that well.”
“But you were connected to him.”
“Probably about as much as you were connected to Myrna.”
Kegan snorted.
Morrigan’s brow went back up. “Oh, so there was more between you and Myrna than you’ve admitted.”
“We are not talking about Myrna. We are talking about Kyle.”
Her gaze was steady. It felt as if she was trying to see within him, and probably being entirely too successful—which should be further proof that the two of them had been divinely fashioned to be together.
“Look, I think we’re both more than a little jealous.”
Kegan grunted, willing to accede that much.
“But the relationships with Kyle and Myrna are not really bothering me—the fact that they both died the same day is what’s freaking me out.”
Kegan felt his blood turn cold. “Kyle is dead?”
“The same day Myrna died.” Kegan could feel her body trembling. “Wh
ich was the same day Adsagsona pulled me from Oklahoma to the Sidetha.”
Kegan felt dazed and numb all at once. What was happening here? Then, as if he truly was stuck in the middle of a dream, a desperate voice came to him, carried on the soft evening wind.
“Morrigan! Kegan!”
Morrigan pulled out of his arms. “Birkita?”
The old priestess rushed up over the rise in the knoll. Running, she stumbled up to them, breathing so heavily that Morrigan had to support her as she collapsed.
“Birkita, what’s wrong?” Morrigan said as she held the priestess in her arms. Her color was terrible and her body was trembling.
“It is Kai,” Birkita gasped as she gulped air.
“Kai! What has happened?” Kegan moved to the priestess to help Morrigan support her.
“An accident.” Birkita looked up at him and he could see fear and sadness in her eyes. “Come quickly, Kegan. I believe he is dying.”
CHAPTER 19
“Are you sure you can carry both of us?” Morrigan said as she slid forward so that Kegan could lift Birkita to his back behind her.
“Of course. Even your combined weight is nothing to me. Just hold tight. I’m going to be moving swiftly.” He squeezed her hand before surging off the knoll. At the speed Kegan was going it was impossible for Morrigan to ask Birkita any more questions. She knew she shouldn’t let her imagination run wild, but it was hard not to. Birkita had said very little. She hadn’t actually had time to fill them in, even if she’d recovered from her rush to them so that she didn’t have to gasp words between breaths. Kegan had started hurling them up on his back as soon as he’d realized the gravity of the situation. Morrigan held tight to his newly familiar torso and tried, unsuccessfully, not to feel like a dark cloud of death was following her.
Kegan slid to a halt inside the cave entrance, where Perth was waiting for them, which to Morrigan wasn’t a particularly good sign.
“Explain what happened,” Kegan snapped as he lifted Birkita and her from his back. When Perth opened his mouth to being the explanation, Kegan said, “Talk while you take us to him.”
Morrigan watched the centaur closely as she wrapped her arm around Birkita’s waist to help support the old woman while they followed Perth. She’d seen Kegan be playful and flirtatious, romantic and sexy. This was the first glimpse she’d had of another side of him—one that seemed to take on command easily and react with calm leadership in times of crisis.
Perth launched into an explanation of Kai’s accident, speaking in short, fast bursts while they rushed after him through the tunnels.
“The Stonemaster was found in the onyx room. He must have climbed up to harvest a piece of the stone. He fell.” Perth didn’t say anything for several minutes, and Morrigan could see that Kegan was preparing to prod him further, when he went on with his recitation. “He is barely conscious, but he would not allow anyone to move him until he spoke to you.”
“The onyx room—that’s close to where I saw him earlier today,” Morrigan said to fill the tension in the dead air after it was obvious that Perth didn’t want to say anything else.
“You saw Kai today?” Kegan asked.
Morrigan could feel the sharp look Birkita shot her. Did Birkita think she had something to do with Kai’s accident? Morrigan swallowed back a terrible sickness that threatened to clog her throat and made herself answer Kegan. “Yes, I was exploring the caves. He was in the butter-colored marble room with the stone you’re going to carve into Myrna’s tomb.”
“So he did find the stone.”
Morrigan nodded. “Yes, and he was fine when I left him.”
Kegan gave her an odd look. “Of course he was.” He turned to address Perth. “What are his wounds?”
“He struck his head. His leg is broken.” Perth drew a deep breath before he added, “And one of the shards of onyx disemboweled him.”
“Will he live?” Kegan said.
“I believe his insistence that we not move him until you are there answers that question.”
Morrigan saw Kegan’s jaw tense. “Faster!” he commanded Perth, who broke into a run.
There was no way Birkita could keep up with them, so Morrigan stayed behind to follow more slowly with the priestess. Her stomach clenched into a rigid ball as she tried to put words to the nameless fear that was clinging to her. “Birkita, what did Perth mean when he said that Kai calling for Kegan answered the question of whether he would live or not?”
Birkita spoke through panting breaths. “Kegan can aid Kai’s passing into the next world.”
She wanted to question Birkita further, but they’d come to the entrance to the onyx room. Birkita drew herself up and entered the room before Morrigan, murmuring to her that she should take a moment to steady herself.
Later, Morrigan realized a lifetime wouldn’t have been enough time to steady herself for what waited for her in that room.
The chamber was big, but the glossy black rock that filled it made it seem small, enclosed, almost claustrophobic, even though she’d never been claustrophobic in her life. There was a press of people within. They were clustered in a semicircle around the wall that had the most massive, jagged teeth of stones jutting out of it. Telling herself over and over again I can do this…I can do this…Morrigan grabbed Birkita’s hand and together they walked forward.
She was taking deep breaths to try to help her stay calm, but when the smell hit her—thick, metallic fresh blood mixed with something foul like diarrhea—Morrigan gagged and shifted to shallow, openmouthed breathing that made her feel light-headed. She’d been keeping her gaze up, trying to ready herself for her first view of Kai, when she noticed that the jagged peaks of onyx she had been staring at weren’t just glossy. They were wet. Morrigan tasted bile. Had she not been clinging to Birkita’s hand she knew she would have run from the room.
Courage…the Stonemaster has simply met his destiny…The words echoed softly through her mind at almost the same instant Birkita squeezed her hand and whispered, “Courage, child.”
Morrigan pulled her gaze away from the blood-coated rocks. The first person she noticed was Shayla. The Sidetha’s Mistress was standing completely still. Her back was pressed against the jagged onyx rock and tears were running down her cheeks as she stared down at the man who lay at her feet. Morrigan felt pity for her. Shayla looked completely devastated. Maybe she really did love Kai. Then her eyes found Kegan. He was on his knees. She was looking at him from the side as he bent over a fallen figure. Her eyes shifted to the woman who knelt opposite Kegan. She looked vaguely familiar, and Morrigan realized she must be the Sidetha’s doctor. Two younger women stood attentively on either side of her, handing her instruments and strips of linen as the doctor shot commands to them. Finally, Morrigan allowed her gaze to go lower.
Kai was lying on his back. His head was bandaged though red seeped through the white linen. His body was partially covered with blankets, but his right leg stuck out at an odd angle from the knee and, feeling even sicker, Morrigan saw that the white thing she had at first thought was a piece of a bandage or splint was really the broken shard of his tibia. But even as horrible as those wounds were, Morrigan knew that what the doctor was bending over, pressing her hands into and trying to stitch up, was even worse. She looked at Kai’s midsection and was relieved that the doctor’s hands and implements obscured her view of the wound. She glanced back at Kai’s face. He was worse than pale. His skin had an awful grayish tint. His lips were open and he was breathing in shallow pants. His eyes were closed.
Morrigan watched as Kegan gently took Kai’s limp hand. The centaur bowed his head over the Stonemaster and began rhythmically speaking words that sounded like they were from the same language he had used to call the Change to him. And then Morrigan jerked with shock when Kai’s eyes came abruptly open. She was amazed that his voice sounded so normal and that it carried so easily to her.
“Not yet. Not yet, my friend.”
Kegan’s chanting stopped
immediately and he bent closer to Kai. “You asked for me to come. When you are ready to begin your journey to Epona’s meadows simply nod. I will guide you, my old friend.”
“You must listen to me, Kegan.”
“I am here, Kai.”
“She is tainted by darkness.”
Morrigan felt Kai’s words as if he had slashed a knife into her chest. She let loose Birkita’s hand and, as if on its own, her body propelled itself woodenly forward.
“Kai, I don’t understand. Who is tainted by darkness?” Kegan was saying.
Kai’s eyes, wide and unnaturally bright, searched the circle of people surrounding him until he found Morrigan. “It is she!” The dying man’s words were weirdly loud, causing Morrigan to flinch. “The Light Bringer carries darkness within her.”
Morrigan’s head began shaking back and forth, back and forth. She knew Kegan was staring in shock at her, just as she knew the murmuring crowd was whispering about her. But she had eyes only for Kai.
“No,” she said, still shaking her head. “Not me. I’m not like her. Grandpa said I wasn’t like her. I am not filled with darkness.”
“You are so young.” Compassion softened the Stonemaster’s pain-racked face. “Your ego blinds you. But darkness is here. And darkness is there.” With a shaking, blood-speckled hand Kai raised a finger and pointed at Morrigan. “You should return to the place from which you came and take the darkness with you.”
Pain deludes him. Do not allow him to steal your birthright.
“No!” Panic beat furiously inside her, deafening her with the white roar of its wings as she shouted at Kai and the voice in her head. “I am the Light Bringer. I belong here.” Morrigan began stumbling back, moving away from Kai.
Birkita was at her side again, grasping her hand and stopping her exit. “You must stay, Priestess.” She spoke softly but firmly. “It is your task, along with the High Shaman’s, to aid the Stonemaster’s spirit journey to Epona.”