Page 27
"Tell me about it," he says.
But when Coach Wenner gets up to the podium, the guys on the Paradise wrestling team are never ones to take a back seat. A roar goes up behind me. "Wee-ner! Wee-ner! Wee-ner!"
The guys are pronouncing the coachs name wrong on purpose. I bet Wenner is already planning how many extra push-ups hell make the team do in practice to make up for it.
The rest of the school gets into it, even as the teachers are trying to put a kabash on the latest chant.
"Wee-ner! Wee-ner. "
"Okay, ha ha, very funny. You had your laugh, now lets get to it," Coach says. "Andy Abrams, Caleb Becker, Adrian Cho, David Grant. . . "
Even though our school is small, it takes a while to get through all the names.
Finally, after more than an hour stuck in this hot gym, Meyer gets back on the mic and dismisses us to our sixth period classes. Trying to get out is like a mob scene. Everyone is as restless as I am to escape. But Im hanging back.
I scan the bleachers. My sister is looking down, oblivious to anything except the stairs. Maggie is standing with the rest of the mob pushing through to get out. She looks so fragile standing there, like a bird surrounded by an elephant stampede.
Theres some pushing and shoving. Two junior guys are fighting. And its right where Maggie is. "Maggie, watch out!" I yell, but she cant hear me. She doesnt notice the commotion behind her, but Im too late and its too noisy. The guy is pushed into Maggie, who trips over two steps and lands flat on her knee.
"Maggie!" I yell, pushing people out of the way to get to her. I finally reach her and kneel next to her. "Maggie, you okay?"
She blinks, looks like shes going to be sick, and sits up.
"Mag-ie, Mag-ie, Mag-ie," the crowd starts chanting.
I look up at the crowd and yell, "Shut the fuck up!" but nobody is listening. I grab Maggies elbow. She tries to pull away but I hang on tight. "Are you okay?" I ask once shes standing. Most of the kids have stopped chanting her name, but a few assholes still have nothing better to do.
Drew grabs my shoulder and pulls me back. "Caleb, what are you helping her for? The bitch was responsible for putting you in jail. "
I take my fist and slam it right into Drews face. He charges me and were at each others throats, fists flying, until Wenner and another coach break us up.
"Wheres Maggie?" I ask.
Wenner looks at me like Ive lost it. "At the nurse. "
"Ive got to see her. "
"The only thing youre seeing is the principals office, Becker. Whats wrong with you?"
Im escorted to Meyers office. I have no choice since Wenner has my wrists pinned behind my back. "Wait here for Mr. Meyer," the coach orders.
But as soon as he leaves the office, I hop over the front desk and open the nurses door. Maggies pants are rolled up just above her knees.
My gaze immediately focuses on her scars.
The angry lines from where the doctors must have sewed her up are pink and look like her leg has been clawed by a fierce animal.
By her knee, where the biggest sets of marks are, I think is a skin graft, because its a darker shade and doesnt match the rest of her soft, ivory skin.
Tearing my gaze away from her leg, I look up at her. "Im so sorry, Maggie," I say.
Her expression is hard, her eyes shuttered. "Go away, Caleb. Or do you want to take a picture so you could show Kendra? Then youd both have something else to laugh about. "
FORTY
Maggie
Caleb doesnt even know Mrs. Reynolds died. When I saw him in the hall this morning, I was going to tell him. But then I caught Caleb and Kendra together. Before our relationship started, I could understand. But I thought he liked me enough not to need someone else. I thought what we had was real. Ugh. I dont want to think about Kendra Greene and her perfect blonde hair and her perfect, perky boobs or the perfect way she walks. But I cant help it. Because Im not perfect.
Im sitting in the nurses office to prove it. Ever since Caleb stood there frozen, gawking at the scars on my leg, Ive been dying to get out of here. "Can I go back to class now?"
The school nurse is bent over my leg with rubber gloves, examining it. She looks up. "Does it hurt?"
You mean my heart? "No. Its fine," I say. "Really. "
"Theres a little blood here. Im concerned there might be internal damage. "
"Its just a little scratch," I say as the woman is putting antiseptic on a cotton ball and rubbing blood off my knee. "A big deal was made for nothing. "
I know why Caleb came running over to me and acted all concerned. Its because he feels guilty that I overheard details about his relationship with Kendra. Drew was only telling the truth, that I was responsible for putting him in jail. Caleb and I should never have started talking. We should have kept ignoring each other at Mrs. Reynolds house.
Because if we didnt talk, I wouldnt be so connected to him.
If we didnt talk, I wouldnt have kissed him and wanted more. I wouldnt have let him manipulate me.
Nurse Sandusky doesnt look happy as I get down off of the examining table and carefully lower my pant leg. But Im not going to sit here and sulk all day. Im going to get up and stand tall--to Caleb, to Drew, to Kendra . . . and whoever else decides to get in my way.
When Im dressed, I breathe a sigh of relief. My scars are covered. So why do I feel so exposed? Because Caleb has seen the scars from the injuries he put on my body.
The forever scars that will make me think of him and the accident every day of my life.
Unfortunately I have to pass Meyers office on my way out. Caleb is sitting in front of the secretarys desk, his head slumped in his hands.
As if he knows Im watching him, he lifts his head up. His eyes bore into me as if theyre seeking warmth or connection. Does he think Im a fool who wants to be humiliated? I look away, wait for the nurse to write me a pass, and leave the office as fast as I can.
As if the day couldnt get worse, Kendra and Hannah are walking down the hall. They havent seen me yet. I duck into the girls bathroom . . . Ive had enough for one day.
I look at myself in the bathroom mirror. Dull hazel eyes, hair that hasnt decided if it wants to be dark or light, and a nose thats too big for my face. On top of all those flaws, I have a limp.
How could I ever have thought I could compete with perfect Kendra Greene?
The bathroom door creaks open. I hide in one of the stalls and soon enough I hear Kendra say, "I cant imagine the two of them kissing. Can you?"
"Puh-leaze, Kend, dont gross me out. Caleb is, like, Hollywood tough guy and Maggie is, like, a total dork. She probably kisses with her lips all pursed and her hands at her sides. "
"Exactly. You should have seen her this morning. I thought she was going to cry right in the middle of the hall. "
The two of them laugh.
I want to die. Forget standing tall, deep down I really am a dork and a coward.
I peek through the door opening. Hannah is putting on her lipstick while Kendra is playing with her big, blonde hair.
"Hes always going to love you. You two have a bond that cant be broken," Hannah says.
Kendra stops playing with her hair and leans against one of the sinks. "Caleb told Brian he was interested in Maggie to throw him off. "
"Why Maggie? Isnt she the least likely person to snag him? He did hit her with his car, you know. And she milks it for all its worth. "
Kendra hesitates.
"What?" Hannah asks.
"Did you check under the stalls?"
Oops. Im dead meat. Balancing on top of the toilet seat with a bum leg is not an option.
The door to one of the stalls creaks open. Oh, no. Im trying to peek through the door, but I dont want to stumble or make any sounds to alert them Im spying.
"You two are so pathetic. You should have looked before you started babbling about your pathetic lives. "
Its Sabrina, my cousin.
"What did you hear?" Kendra says.
"What do you think? I heard all of it. "
"And youll keep it to yourself, wont you Sabrina?"
Sabrina puts her hands on her hips. "I dont know. Why dont you stop spreading rumors about my cousin? She may limp, but shes got more to admire than both of you put together. "
The other girls stare at Sabrina as if she sprouted wings, totally shocked that the follower finally proved she has a mind of her own.
"Get a grip, Sabrina. Dont forget, you were a loser and Maggie was in your spot a year ago. Just because youre friends with Brianne and Danielle now doesnt mean youre suddenly hot shit. "
Shes right. I wasnt nice to Sabrina when I was on top and she was struggling to keep friends that didnt hide in the library during lunch. I think Kendras words are going to bring Sabrina down a notch, but my cousin doesnt miss a beat.
"Kendra, I used to worship the ground you walked on because you were pretty and popular and had a boyfriend the rest of the girls only dreamed they could get. I wanted to be popular, to be like you. Now I just think youre pathetic. "
"Youd better watch yourself, Sabrina, or you might just find yourself a loser again so quick your head will spin. " Kendras eyes are wide and wild, and I think if she had superpowers theyd melt Sabrina with that one stare. But she doesnt have superpowers. Hannah is standing behind Kendra with her thumb and forefinger in an "L" on her forehead, directing it toward Sabrina.
While Sabrina is sticking up for me and being threatened, Im hiding out like a coward. My palms are sweaty. I realize its my own fear holding me back. I watch my cousin sticking up for me knowing the end result is not going to be pretty. I feel Mrs. Reynolds spirit giving me courage.
I push the stall door open wide, the loud creak alerting all three to my presence.
Sabrinas face is as shocked as Kendras and Hannahs.
Kendra gives a nervous laugh, but recovers quickly. "Is this, like, the designated loser bathroom and I never got the memo?"
"Youre just like your cousin," Hannah says to me. "One wholl always follow in the footsteps of girls like me and Kendra. "
I hobble next to my cousin. "Hannah, you and Kendra have it all. And yet. . . youre both empty shells, nothing worthwhile on the inside. I wouldnt follow you even if it meant healing my legs. "
"I think the accident damaged your brain. " Kendra spits out the words like a dragon would spit fire at its enemy.
Sabrina is watching me in shock. I know I havent been strong since the accident. I never stick up for myself and I focus on my flaws instead of my assets. Spending time with a strong woman like Mrs. Reynolds must have rubbed off on me. And spending time with Caleb the past few months has made me feel attractive and beautiful. I just . . . deep down I cant believe he was lying to me. Admiration shined through the depths of his eyes. His fingers trembled when he traced my lips or touched my face. A guy like Caleb, who hides his emotions, couldnt fake those intense reactions even if he wanted to.
Kendra shakes her head and sneers at me. "If Caleb gave you any attention, he just felt sorry for you. "
Im sure he did . . . but what we shared went way beyond that. "I wouldnt sneer if I were you," I say to Kendra. "It doesnt suit your face. "
My cousin turns to me. "Caleb? No, it cant be true. Can it?"