Asher Sutton
I WASN’T SURE if, in the light of day, I’d end up regretting last night with Dixie. I knew Steel would be hurt if he found out. After yesterday and the way he’d yelled at me, I knew he’d be furious. It would most probably go to fists, with me just blocking his punches. I couldn’t hit Steel, I wouldn’t hurt him that way, too. Too much pain had been shared between the three of us already.
It was different yet the same with Bray, Brent and Scarlet. They had all hurt each other because what one of them had with her was stronger than what the other could ever have. They’d lied. They’d cheated. We hadn’t done that to one another, only our hearts had.
I’d been selfless for years, ever since I found those damn letters. I’d made sure to protect everyone while I broke into a million pieces. That was over. The truth was out. Dixie had ended it with Steel. Why did I have to keep pushing her away? How was that fair to anybody? I hadn’t dropped her and then decided I wanted her back just because my brother was with her. Hell, Steel hadn’t even asked me how I felt about him dating Dixie. He kept it from me for a year. He’d not once considered how I felt. And when the truth finally came out, he didn’t even care about how it affected me. He was only worried about himself and his relationship with Dixie. I would’ve never fucking done the same to him. We were brothers, but we were all so different.
Since dad had died, I’d been the one to make sure the others were okay. They relied on me, expected me to be there for them, but now, we were all fucking grown men. It was my turn to make a decision that would put my happiness first. I couldn’t imagine my life without Dixie in it. Even when I’d tried, her face had always been there, following me into my dreams. We’d lost three years, both been hurt and scarred, but maybe we could find a way to heal together.
Dixie deserved more from me. She wanted me to fight for her, to choose her over others, something I didn’t understand at first, but now I did more than ever before. I loved my brothers, but they weren’t little boys anymore. I didn’t always have to put their needs and wants first—we were all adults now, or almost.
Steel was hurting and I had to give him time. Once his anger had run its course and he was ready to listen, I’d talk to him about Dixie, which was more than he’d done for me. If he’d asked me beforehand, I’d have never allowed him to start a relationship with her only because of the letters, not because I did not want them to be happy. But now, things had changed and the happiness of the only woman I’d ever loved was at stake. It was time for me to put Dixie first.
As I exited the attic and walked down the hall, I heard Bray and Dallas laughing in the kitchen. I hadn’t expected Bray to be up, much less laughing. He’d stayed away for days, kept his distance, but now he seemed to be acting normal again. He hadn’t faced Brent yet, though. We all knew that was coming. We’d all been waiting. I doubted Brent or Steel had made it home already. If they had, they’d still be hungover in bed until Momma banged a pot with a spoon in their room to wake them up. Or a glass of ice water would be thrown in their faces like she’d done so many times before.
“Y’all sure are in good moods this early,” I said, heading straight for the coffee on the counter. I didn’t want to make a big deal of Bray’s being out of his room.
“Norton adopted a wild mustang. You should see that thing twist and buck. It’s feral. Crazy as hell.” Dallas replied, as if this was a good reason to be so happy in the morning.
Bray spoke then. “They’re gonna break him. Attempt to break him. But I’ll believe it when I see it. I already told Norton I ain’t getting on the thing. That bastard will put your dick in the dirt.”
I figured that was a sound decision. “Reckon it’d be dumb to try. Never seen a wild mustang, but I hear they can be dangerous. Not meant for joy riding.”
Dallas leaned back in his chair. Tucking a strand of dark hair behind his left ear, he said, “I ain’t scared of no bronco.”
“That’s ‘cause you’re still a stupid little shit,” Bray replied with a smirk.
“I’m bigger than you,” he shot back.
“You’re bigger than all of us,” I added. “But that bronco is larger than you, though apparently not your ego.”
His grin grew, ignoring the second part of what I said. “Yeah. Ain’t that a bitch. Momma also loves me best.”
Bray rolled his eyes, replying, “You’re the baby. Poor woman ain’t got no choice.”
Dallas wasn’t upset about that at all. Shrugging, he unfolded his frame to stand, reaching for the cowboy hat on the chair beside him. “And I’m the handsomest.”
“Then why do they all want to suck my dick?” Bray added.
Dallas barked with laughter. “Damn, it’s good to have you back.”
I had to agree with him. The darkness in his eyes told me he wasn’t completely back. But I’d watch him closely until he was.
“You working today?” Bray asked me.
“Yeah, I am,” I replied.
“When are you heading back to Florida? Don’t y’all have to start workouts and practice soon?”
I wasn’t sure I was going back. I didn’t want to say that yet. Momma would be disappointed if I didn’t go back, get my diploma, so I said, “Next month we’ll begin.”
Dallas took a long swig from the gallon of milk, then looked at me. “You really gonna stay that long?”
“I need to make sure Momma is taking her medicine regularly.”
Bray snorted. “And that Dixie is okay. Don’t deny it. You’re afraid to leave until you’re sure she’s fine.”
I wasn’t going to deny it. “That’s true,” I replied honestly.
Dallas was staring at me. I could see the surprise in his expression, but I didn’t comment any further. Momma came walking in the door with a basket of eggs on her arm. “If you just drank directly from that gallon of milk, I’m gonna tan your hide.”
Dallas shook his head, looking all innocent. “No, Momma, I was just getting it out to pour me a glass.”
“After he took a long swig, that is,” Bray offered, taking the eggs from momma.
Dallas glared at Bray who couldn’t care less.
“Don’t none of us want your backwash, boy,” Momma scolded, her frown remaining in place as she went to the stove to get the lard and flour, getting everything ready to start preparing breakfast.
“That heifer’s gonna have her baby this week. She’s got the look. It’s about time. I was sure she’d have that calf in May. Need to move her to the small ring,” she said. That was meant for all, but Bray nodded.
“Yeah, I noticed. I’ll get Dallas out there with me and we’ll take care of it.”
Momma stopped and put her hand on Bray’s cheek. “You good? Worried me sick. Ain’t no girl worth that.”
He nodded but his eyes betrayed him. She seemed appeased so she dropped her hand to get back to cooking.
“Neither of them other two came home last night. This ain’t a boarding house. If they aren’t here in the next hour, they’ll be sleeping with that heifer for a week.”
Dallas looked at me apologetically. “Dixie broke up with Steel. He’s struggling. Brent stayed with him.”
Momma stopped and turned to me. She didn’t say anything at first. I was ready to defend myself. It wasn’t fair that everyone blamed me for what Steel was going through.
She just said, “Guess that was coming. Good thing. She didn’t love him right.”
That’s all she said. We went on to discuss what needed to be done on the farm until we ate and then left for work.
Just as I was walking out the door, she called my name. She’d waited until the other two were gone. “Keep an eye on him. He ain’t right just yet.”
I knew who she meant, so I nodded. “Yes, ma’am. I will.”
Dixie Monroe
THE CLOCK ON the wall finally said it was lunch time. At noon, the salon closed for an hour. Everyone was free to spend their break as they pleased. The other employees usually used the tannin
g beds during this time or styled each other’s hair. I occasionally got a wash and cut, but most of the time, I just read a book and ate a sandwich.
Today, however, I had other plans. I had decided the front desk needed a little sprucing up. A nice pot of flowers would do and I knew just where to get them. This was not what Asher and I had agreed on last night, but I wanted to see him. Maybe say hello. It wasn’t like I was taking him lunch and making a scene for the town to talk about.
I called out to let them know I was leaving for my break and then headed out the door, making sure I flipped the sign on the door before I locked it up. This was the only salon in Malroy and it always closed for lunch. Customers expected it. But we still turned that sign around in case anyone forgot.
For the first time in three years, I had opened my eyes that morning and a smile had spread across my face. A real one. It was so big, it had hurt my cheeks and I’d loved every second of it. That feeling of joy, excitement, hope were all new to me now. It was a wonder I’d even gone to sleep last night. I couldn’t have dreamed up a better night if I’d tried. When I’d been younger, I had imagined something like that daily. But over time it began to hurt too much to even think about it, so I’d forced myself to think of other things just to stop the pain and tears as I closed my eyes at night.
Those tears were a part of the person I’d become now, but I wouldn’t miss them or the hollowness inside my chest. Asher hadn’t promised me anything, but what he’d said was all I needed to hear for now. He loved me. He wanted to meet me there again tonight. And then again the next night.
I hurried down the street. Denver’s Feed and Seed was only half a mile from the salon and walking there was faster than driving because there were three stop lights between the two stores.
The wooden furniture that I was sure everyone in this town owned in some shape or form in their backyard and on their porches, was displayed out front. Bright yellow sunflowers decorated the space and I had to admit even I wanted to go sit down and enjoy some lemonade. It was very welcoming. I wondered if Asher had unloaded all that. Probably had. That just made me smile even more. I didn’t care at all about how goofy I must’ve looked grinning all alone while walking down the sidewalk.
Turning onto the gravel parking lot, I scanned the flowers on display for something affordable since I was buying these out of my own pocket. As I looked, my eyes also searched around for any signs of Asher. I didn’t want to be obvious, but I knew he’d know immediately why I was here.
I made my way to the side of the building where the store’s entrance was. Just as I stepped into the shade of the overhang, I heard a female voice that made me stop in my tracks.
“Time to eat, Asher. I got you the roast beef with that dark sauce you like to dip it in. I ate a few of your fries, though.” The voice belonged to Hannah and it was flirty. It also appeared to be very familiar with what Asher liked. I didn’t know if I should continue walking in their direction.
“Did you get me a sweet tea?” he asked and I saw him then walking in from the back. His sleeveless undershirt was dirty and clung to his sweaty skin. He was wearing his cowboy hat and it shaded his eyes. I couldn’t see his face, but his tone was friendly. And he seemed pleased.
“Of course. Oh, hi, Dixie, can I help you with something?” Hannah asked and I shifted my focus to her. She was giving me a fake smile. It was too bright and it didn’t meet her eyes.
“I, uh, no, I’m just, I,” I stopped stuttering and pointed to a wall of hoes and shovels, then hurried toward them.
“Dixie,” Asher’s voice called after me. I was not turning around. She’d caught me off guard. I hadn’t been prepared to speak yet. Not as I was still processing what I had witnessed.
Maybe they were just friends. He said before they were friends and I believed him. But the way she had talked to him, the tone in her voice . . . it said something else.
“Dixie, wait,” he was closing in on me. I could start running, but then I’d look ridiculous and draw even more attention to myself. That would, of course, make Asher and I the topic of everyone’s dinner conversation tonight. Including my own family’s. Wincing, I stopped walking and just waited on him to reach me.
His fingers wrapped around my upper arm and I let him turn me around. “Why did you walk off?” He looked completely confused.
“I don’t know,” I lied. I knew I was overreacting.
He frowned and looked around. “Come out back to my truck.”
I felt eyes on me. I was almost positive they belonged to Hannah, but I didn’t check. I didn’t care. I only cared about being alone with Asher.
“Okay,” I acquiesced and let him lead me to the back. Once we were around the storage bins, his truck came into view. When we were on the far side of the truck, hidden from view, he backed me up against it and placed his hands on either side of me. His palms sat flat on the door behind me. “Tell me what just happened.”
Sighing, I closed my eyes because this was embarrassing. “I came to get flowers for the salon in hopes of seeing you. Then I heard you and Hannah talking. Y’all were friendly. She was being flirty with you.”
Asher put a finger under my chin and tilted my head back. “Open your eyes, Dix,” he sounded amused. I slowly opened them and then blinked against the sun.
“Hannah is my friend. We work together.”
I nodded.
He just smirked and pressed a kiss to my lips. “I like you jealous. I have to admit it.”
“I don’t,” I pouted.
He laughed, but then dropped his hands from the truck behind me and stood back up straight. “I’ve got to eat lunch, you’ve got to get flowers, and if I stay back here with you any longer, I’ll start kissing you the way I want to. We can’t do that just yet. Not in public.”
Because of Steel.
“Okay,” I replied, wishing things were different. But I understood.
“Come on,” he said with a gentle tug of my hand, walking us back around the truck. I wasn’t embarrassed anymore, so when my eyes found Hannah looking at us, I smiled. I didn’t care what she thought of me. I had acted silly and if she wanted to think I was nuts, I couldn’t blame her.
“I’d share half my sandwich with you if it wouldn’t make people talk,” he said.
“I’ll eat back at the salon.”
“I won’t enjoy my lunch company. I promise.”
I laughed at that. He quickly squeezed my hand, then moved away.
It wasn’t until I lifted my eyes to start looking for flowers that I saw him. Steel. He was standing just outside his truck watching us. His angry glare caused my breath to hitch, making Asher follow my gaze. He tensed and immediately put distance between us.
“Come on, you. Time to eat. Thanks for helping Dixie with that. I had no idea where to find it,” Hannah said brightly as she walked in between us and wrapped her arms around Asher’s arm.
“Wha—” Asher started to say, but then nodded. “Yeah. No problem.”
Hannah was saving him from Steel. I understood that, but it still didn’t feel good to see her cuddling up against him. “Oh, hey, Steel!” she called out waving and walking Asher away from me. She glanced back at me. “Just take what you need to the front. Nora will check you out. We’re taking our lunch now.” There was a challenge in her gaze as she looked at me. Then she gave me a slow smile, went up on her toes and pressed a kiss to Asher’s face. “He’s just the sweetest.”
I waited to see him push her away. To tell her to stop. To question why she thought she could do that. But he did none of those things. He let her continue to cling to him. I didn’t want to watch anymore. My stomach felt sick as I walked away, back toward the street. Away from Steel, away from Asher, and away from Hannah. I didn’t want to pretend anymore. I had pretended for years. Pretended that I was okay. That I wasn’t hurting every single day. That I wasn’t lost. I was done with it all.
Last night, I’d allowed myself to hope that maybe sometime soon, Asher would wan
t to fight for me, too. That after the sex, he’d want more. He’d want back what we had taken from us. But what I’d just witnessed hadn’t been fighting. That had been acting. That had been just one more lie to add to the growing pile between us all.
Asher Sutton
“THAT FUCKING QUICK?” Steel asked as he continued glaring at me like he hated the sight of me. I wanted to see if Dixie was gone, but I knew not to look in her direction. Steel would go crazy and I didn’t want him doing that here.
“Not what you think it is,” I told him.
“She just came by needing help with some flowers for the salon. I had Asher show her the newest stock out back that we haven’t displayed yet. That’s all, Steel,” Hannah offered cheerfully. She was a good actress, her easy-going tone convincing and confident, and the way she stayed attached to my arm suggested that something was happening between us.
Steel looked at Hannah, then back to me. “You fucking her?” he asked. I wasn’t sure if he meant Hannah or Dixie.
“Steel,” I started to correct him, because Mr. Horn, the nearly eighty-years-old pastor at the Baptist church, had just heard him cuss while he shopped for gardening gloves for his wife. But Hannah interrupted me.
“Our sex life isn’t your business, Steel. Never will be, either.”
Hannah and I would never have a sex life. I didn’t correct her, though. I’d do that later after Steel had left. If this was just a grand act to appease him, then I was thankful for it. Bit if she thought it was the beginning of anything more between us, I needed to clarify to her that it wasn’t.
He continued to study us.
“You been home? Momma is worried.”
He shrugged “She’s pissed as hell. Not worried.”
“That, too,” I agreed.
More silence filled the space between us.
“She only loved you. Never loved me,” he said before walking away. He sounded defeated. I wanted to tell him that he meant something to her.