* * *
"I'm sorry about the beach," Kayin said as soon as class ended.
What was he talking about? "What about it, you didn't do anything wrong."
"I wasn't sure if you were upset that I told Gavin about your powers." Kayin shrugged, worry etched into his dark face.
Smiling, I scooted closer and bumped his arm until he moved it around my shoulder. "I'm not used to having privacy. I'm not upset and honestly I didn't expect anything different to happen."
Kayin held me close. "I was worried Little Sister, I don't like the idea of you being upset with me."
I wrapped my arms around Kayin's waist and relaxed, feeling safe for the first time in days. "Don't worry, Big Brother, you're stuck with me now."
Kayin held me tightly. "I'm very glad. I need to go warm-up for my class now, will you be all right?"
"I'm fine. I'm going to do homework while I wait."
I managed to get my homework done and all my stuff packed up before Gavin and Anali were ready to go. So I watched while they got their things together. Gavin tried to gather his stuff with one hand, and use his phone with the other. He always checked his messages right after class ended. I knew the minute Gavin got the message from Five. He froze, his whole body went rigid, even his eyes stopped moving. Then he began to smile. I'd never seen a smile start slowly and grow before, but there it was growing so big and bright Gavin's cheeks must ache. Turning, Gavin found Anali, laughing as he picked her up and swung her around.
When Gavin set her down, Anali's smile shone as bright as his. They both looked lighter, like a great worry or stress was suddenly gone.
Gavin looked around the school, his red hair whipping around his face. Once he saw me, he bounded over, and before I knew it I was scooped up into a crushing hug.
"You're coming home this Friday! David called and everything is all set, and this Friday you're coming home!"
Gavin set me down. I could see tears gathering in his peridot green eyes. Guilt began to sweep through me, chilling me to the bone. This meant so much to Gavin, being able to bring me home. I wish I felt as excited.
Quickly, I plastered a smile on my face letting Gavin's overflowing happiness fuel it.
"Come on, let's go to dinner and celebrate," he said.
I laughed softly. We planned on going to dinner anyway. "I'm ready."
Gavin danced all the way to the car. I felt a little nervous about him driving while so excited, but it wound up being fine.
Over a meal of tempura vegetables and yakisoba noodles, Gavin began making plans for Friday. It didn't seem to me that we needed big plans. All I needed to know was what time to have everything packed.
"Should we rent a moving truck?" Gavin asked.
"No, all I have are my clothes, and a box of stuff under my bed," I answered, picturing all of my things in my mind. “Oh, and some summer clothes in storage.”
Gavin cocked his head to the side. "That's all? You've been gone nine years."
"There isn't a lot of space in group homes. We only keep what we need," I said.
"Well, we’ll have to change that. Once you're unpacked we'll see what you need and go shopping."
Anali patted her husband on the arm. "Gavin, dear, we will be traveling with the circus soon, and we won't have a lot of space to store things."
"Well I suppose that is true," Gavin admitted, after pouting for a moment. "Okay we'll figure out what you need while we travel. But I will get you a few small things just for fun."
Gavin's happiness felt warm and soft against my skin, and in complete contrast to the cold sick guilt I felt. I wish I was happy about moving in with them. I wish I felt something other than fear about what was to come. I did my best to nod, hum, and smile in the right places as Gavin chatted away, changing topics quickly in his excitement.
Anali gave me worried looks and patted my hand. I knew I couldn't fool her, but I did hope she would respect my privacy, what little of it I possessed, and not ask why I felt so unhappy.