He stared out at San Francisco Bay, deciding he'd answer with the facts. "She obviously did a good job raising them. They got scholarships for college. Kelsey is a CPA. Tony is getting a master's degree."
"You're thinking that she did a lot better for them than she did for you." Though Susan spoke softly, she didn't hold anything back. She'd tried to teach all of the Mavericks to express what they felt, what they believed. Some of them had learned it better than others.
"It's not polite to read people's minds," he teased, in lieu of facing her statement head on.
She laughed before turning serious again. "Maybe she was trying to make up for what she did in the only way she could. What she was never able to do for you, she tried to do double for them."
He hadn't thought of it that way. But even though Susan made sense, it didn't lessen the ache inside him. "She did one thing right," he finally said. "She let me stay with you and Bob."
"I love you too, honey." Then she added the kicker. "I'm sure she's hoping she can rebuild her relationship with you. Any mother would want that."
Susan and Bob had taught him to always be honest. Even when it was difficult. And damn, it was hard to admit to her, "I don't know if I can do that."
"Evan, honey, have you ever thought that reconciling with your mother might be less about what she needs and more about what you need?"
"I don't need it." He had Susan. He had Bob and the Mavericks. Theresa had been gone so long that he couldn't even relate to her as a mother.
"When you didn't know where she was, you didn't have to think about it. But now she's brought back all the shadows. You can't have those shadows hanging over you if you're ever going to move on. Especially after what Whitney did."
He'd come home from Europe intending to move on, promising himself that he wouldn't let Whitney steal another moment of his life. But one of the reasons he hadn't gone into Paige's apartment last night was Whitney. If she'd ever found out, there would have been hell to pay. Which meant he was still giving his ex all the power she had never deserved.
"Just think about what I'm saying, okay?"
He smiled despite his dark mood. "I always think about everything you say."
"Sure you do," she teased. But then she gave an excited little yelp. "I just had the most marvelous idea. Why don't you fly the twins and your mom out here? Just for the weekend. So that Bob and I can get to know them too."
He pulled the phone away from his ear to stare at it. "This is a joke, right?"
"I'm totally serious. I'd love to meet your brother and sister. And our house is a nice, safe environment for everyone to get to know each other better. Plus, that would keep your mom away from the ex-boyfriend in Modesto for a couple of days. I'm sure this first weekend will be the worst for her, when she's alone in an empty house."
"This is crazy." Yet he felt an odd kick inside at the thought of a weekend to get to know his brother and sister better, especially with Susan and Bob there to keep Theresa busy.
"What do you think?" she pressed.
"If we did it," he said slowly, "there's not enough room for all of us at the house, so I'd book a hotel for myself."
"Of course there's room for everyone, but I get it. You want to make sure you have somewhere to go, if you need it." She barely paused before saying, "So, you'll ask them to come this weekend?"
He knew firsthand just how good Susan's intentions always were. But while Tony and Kelsey were great, Evan was wary about getting too close too fast, before he knew more about them. After all, that had been his problem with Whitney--he'd seen only what he'd wanted to see and had stupidly let her in. And of course, he wasn't interested in going out of his way to reconnect with Theresa.
Knowing him well enough to guess that his silence was a mask for his reluctance, Susan said, "What if Paige could come too?"
His heart stopped. Paige? God help him. He wanted a weekend with her so badly, he felt lightheaded. Wanted more time with her--talking, laughing, kissing--any way he could get it.
Hadn't he been thinking he needed to stay away from her for her own good? Yeah, right, like that was going to happen. Not when his heart jumped at the first opportunity to see her again.
"She's so good at smoothing over rough patches," Susan continued. "And I know how much you enjoy her company."
His heartbeat kicked up. Does Susan know? Could she read his feelings about Paige as easily as she could read everything else about him?
"She's been a good sister-in-law." He used the phrase deliberately, reminding Susan--and himself--exactly who Paige was. Whitney's off-limits sister.
"She's been a good friend," Susan corrected. "Through thick and thin, Paige has always been there for you." Now his foster mother was the one carefully reminding him that Paige, rather than his wife, was the one who had stuck by him in good times and bad. "She had such fun in the snow at the wedding, I'm sure she'd love to come back to a white winter for another couple of days."
If it was just a white winter that would make Paige happy, Evan could book her a weekend at a fancy spa resort in Lake Tahoe. But what Paige loved most of all--more than massages or fancy restaurants or impressive five-star resorts--was family. Paige would choose a weekend in Chicago with everyone over anything else he could offer. This trip was something he could give her, a small repayment for all she'd done.
Yeah, great rationalization.
Because the truth he didn't want to admit to anyone--especially himself--was that he wanted an entire weekend with Paige. Even if he couldn't kiss her, couldn't touch her when they were with his family, at least they would be together.
*
He called Kelsey, Tony, and Theresa first. Funny that calling Theresa felt easier than calling Paige. Probably because he knew where he and Theresa stood. Whereas with Paige...
Silently cursing his powerful desire for the one woman he could never have, Evan told his assistant to push back his next meeting, then dialed Theresa's number for the second time in as many days.
She answered on the first ring, her voice tentative as she said, "Evan?"
"There are a couple of things I wanted to check in with you about. First, I talked to Greg, and he won't be bothering you anymore."
"You talked to Greg?" She was clearly shocked, her voice suddenly higher than normal.
"He apologized for hurting you." He wouldn't tell her that Greg had asked for money. "But he was also on his third beer in the middle of the day."
"He has a problem with alcohol," she agreed softly.
Evan wanted to ask her how she could possibly pick yet another guy with a drinking problem after running away from her abusive, alcoholic husband. How could she be so blind? How could she make such bad decisions time and time again?
But he'd been blind with Whitney, hadn't he? Marrying her had been the worst decision he'd ever made. Though staying with her so long might have been even worse.
So he understood a thing or two about bad decisions. And turning his back on a woman in distress wasn't a consideration. He'd hold out his hand even to his worst enemy if he or she was drowning. Hell, he'd probably have given his hand to his father if he'd asked for help, even after everything. But his father had never asked.
"Greg's not your problem anymore. If he shows up, call me. A friend knows a guy in the Modesto Police Department who'll drive by your house occasionally.
"Thank you, Evan. You're too good to me."
Her words--and how hard they hit him--nearly had him hanging up before he got to the other reason he'd called. But he wouldn't disappoint Susan. Not when his foster mother had given so much of herself to him--even when he'd been a temperamental, hormonal teenager with a huge chip on his shoulder.
"Susan wants to meet you and the twins."
"Susan Spencer?" This time, her voice was darn near a squeal of shock. "The woman who took you in after..."
His chest, his gut, everything in him, tightened up as he said, "Yes, she'd like to meet you this weekend. We'd fly out on my p
lane Saturday morning to Chicago, if that works for you."
"Of course it does," she said, "but are you sure about this trip?"
He wasn't sure about anything right now.
"I'll check with Kelsey and Tony now, then confirm the travel details."
"I know they'll be thrilled to spend more time with their brother."
Brother. It was amazing how much that word meant to him. Even coming from her.
After they hung up, he called Tony.
"I knew we did the right thing coming to you," Tony said after Evan gave him the update on Theresa's ex-boyfriend. "Thanks a million." Then he laughed and changed it to, "Actually, thanks a billion."
Evan couldn't hold back a smile. Tony had charm to spare, even in the worst situations. "I just talked to your mom about a last-minute trip to Chicago." He explained about Susan--who she was and that she wanted to meet the three of them.
"Chicago sounds great," Tony said. And then, "She's your mom too."
"She is. But there's too much history to get into it all."
"Okay." Tony obviously knew when to let something drop, at least for the time being. "Thanks again. Looking forward to hanging with you in Chicago, bro."
Evan's phone rang less than thirty seconds after they hung up.
"You are wonderful and marvelous and the absolute best," Kelsey gushed. "I'd love to go to Chicago to meet the couple who took such good care of you. And what you did for Mom today is huge. Thank you, thank you."
Kelsey's enthusiasm made his heart flip. She made him feel like a hero.
In business and finance, everyone demanded a piece of him. They either wanted his money, or they wanted him to tell them how to make money. But Kelsey was different. She'd asked him to help, out of the goodness of her heart. And somehow, he'd dredged up the goodness inside of him to do it.
"You're doing so much for us," she continued, "we've got to do something for you. I don't know what. But we'll think of something. Something huge, I swear."
"I don't need you to do anything, Kelsey."
"That's the whole point," she said, as if it should have been the most obvious thing in the world. "We want to do something because we don't have to. You're awesome, Evan Collins."
She hung up before he could set her straight. Before he could tell her he'd done only what he'd needed to, what any person with a soul would have done.
Before he could remind her that helping out her mom didn't mean he was ready to accept Theresa as his mom again.
*
So, really, how was she supposed to fight for Evan?
Paige finished the notes from her last session, then quickly checked her email while her mind mulled over what to do about Evan.
She was determined to fight for him. But how?
Evan had wanted her last night. His kiss, his touch, and the fire in his eyes had confirmed what her body knew. But she couldn't use his desire to bring him closer. Couldn't use it against him. That was Whitney's modus operandi--ensnaring men. As far as Paige was aware, Whitney had never cheated, but she still loved to gather men around her.
In any case, Whitney aside, Paige didn't want to fall into bed with Evan only to have him deny his feelings in the morning.
Because what Paige felt for him was so much deeper. On some level, she had to believe he knew it too. Their souls seemed to speak their own special language. She'd felt it all those evenings they'd talked for hours in his library about books, movies, politics, her work, his work. The connection had existed between them even in college, all the nights they discussed classes and students, science or high finance; daydreaming about how they would shape their futures; talking about their goals, what they wanted to accomplish and how; or even something as simple as what the best classic sci-fi movie was. They'd both chosen The Day the Earth Stood Still, with Forbidden Planet a close second. If she was going to fight for him, she had to do it by showing him how much more they had between them than desire.
Her eyes skimmed the headlines online and flitted over a sidebar without really seeing it.
She wanted to do something special, something that would help Evan see they were meant to be together, no matter how many obstacles stood in their way. But what could possibly convince him? What, what, what?
Suddenly, her gaze was snagged by a brief mention containing the words science, fiction, and Mars. Oh my God. It was the absolute best thing imaginable. It wasn't obviously romantic. It wasn't flashy and sexy. But it was so absolutely them. Grabbing her phone, she tapped in a quick text.
Andy Weir is speaking tonight at a bookstore down the street from your office. Do you want to go see him with me?
They'd both loved The Martian. They'd read it at the same time, marveled over it, dissected every chapter. And seeing the advertisement right on the heels of her thoughts about their favorite classic sci-fi movies had to have meaning. Evan answered almost immediately.
Sounds good. Mortimer can pick you up from your office and then we can come home from the city together.
Come home. Yes. The words were sublime, all she could ever have asked for. They made the rest of their arrangements through a few quick texts.
Mortimer picked her up for the ride to San Francisco, but the traffic was horrendous getting into the city despite it being a weeknight. She dashed into the bookstore with no time to spare as the emcee for the evening tested the microphone. It was standing room only, but Evan had saved her a seat, and she squeezed past an elderly couple to slip into the chair beside him.
"You're here." He reached out to squeeze her hand, and she wanted to hang on forever. He was scrumptious in his dashing dark gray suit and white shirt, his tie a shade of topaz and green that somehow emphasized the flecks of gold in his eyes. She wanted to eat him all up right then. But she'd promised herself this night wouldn't be about sex. Or desire. Or need. Or all the physical things she desperately wanted from him.
Before they could exchange another word, the bookstore owner introduced the author to a round of deafening applause. Andy Weir was an incredibly interesting guy. And his publishing story was amazing. When he talked about selling his AOL stock options at the absolute high after he was laid off, Evan gave her a thumbs-up and whispered, "This is my kinda guy." She loved that he could share this with her.
The talk was fascinating, even as Andy got technical. And yet, like his book, he presented the material in layman's terms she could easily understand. He was extremely self-deprecating, and when asked how he came up with the idea for The Martian, he said he was a geek who liked to sit around daydreaming about how it would be possible to accomplish this thing or that.
She nudged Evan and murmured, "Just like you."
And yet it was more. It was like all those nights in college discussing their plans for the future. Daydreaming. Evan had made all his dreams come true.
Except the one about a family and a loving wife.
The emcee opened the meeting up for questions, and the audience went wild with hands in the air. One man wanted to know why the main character in The Martian hadn't taken his situation more seriously, that he was actually a little flip, even sarcastic. And Andy said that he hadn't wanted to write a deep, dark character study, that it was more about figuring out how to solve a really big problem.
"His levity was what I liked best," Evan said to her softly. It was what they'd both liked best. You couldn't keep the hero down, no matter what nature threw at him. He always bounced back.
Like Evan? Would he eventually bounce back? She could only hope.
Some people got into the technical stuff. Others just wanted to know how much he sold his stock options for, or how much input he'd had in the movie, while still more questions delved into the book's themes.
To her, the biggest theme had been about never giving up. With each failure, the astronaut solved another problem. After each setback, he dove right back in. The same with NASA's efforts to save him. No one ever gave up.
And she wouldn't give up on Evan. She would keep o
n showing him how good they were together. No matter what.
If the applause had been deafening in the beginning, it brought the house down afterward. They got their autographed books, had a few words with the author while Evan complimented him on an amazing story. Andy probably didn't have a clue he was shaking the hand of a billionaire who'd waited in the same line as everyone else.
But that was Evan, equally as down-to-earth.
As they left the bookshop, Evan took her hands in his. "Thank you. I haven't enjoyed myself so much in..." He paused, his gaze roaming over her face, tracing the lines of her cheek, her nose, her mouth. As if he were memorizing her features. "Not since our last conversation in my library. Every conversation, in fact."
Her pulse beat harder in the tips of her fingers that he'd captured in his. "I'm glad you enjoyed it."
"You couldn't have chosen anything better." His eyes scorched her, suggesting there was something he might have enjoyed equally.
But she wasn't going to simply fall into bed with him. As badly as she wanted just that. Instead, she would show Evan that they weren't about the power of sex. They were about the power of connection.
Tonight had been the perfect start. And he had given her the perfect reaction, comparing this evening to all the nights they'd come together in his library. All the nights they'd shared their thoughts, their minds, their feelings.
She would not give up. Not on him. And not on herself.
And yet the pull of his body was magnetic, hers swaying into his as she drowned in his deep gaze. She might very well have kissed him if Mortimer hadn't pulled to the curb at that very moment.
"Your carriage awaits," Evan said as Mortimer hopped out to open the door.
She slid in, and Evan joined her. She wasn't sure whether she regretted the lost moment or not. But once they were rolling and they started discussing all the new things they'd learned about their favorite book, Paige found herself transported back to those magical evenings drinking a glass of wine and talking. Tonight had been so right, without conflict or guilt, as they enjoyed each other's company.