They were exiting the freeway close to her condo when Evan said, "I finally called Susan and told her everything."
She could suddenly feel her heart banging right up against her chest. "Everything?"
Obviously recognizing that he needed to clarify what everything meant, he added, "About Theresa showing up again with Kelsey and Tony."
Disappointment did its best to lay her low, even though she knew better than to think he would have told Susan about their kisses. She mourned the sudden loss of the closeness they'd shared all evening, but she also realized this new discussion had a closeness all its own. So she shook off the slight ache, especially after their wonderful evening together. "I'll bet she's dying to meet your brother and sister."
"If we were on Let's Make a Deal, you would have just won the car behind Door Number Three." Despite his teasing tone, he drummed his fingers on the seat between them, drawing in a deep breath and blowing it out with obvious tension before he said, "She wants all of us to fly to Chicago this weekend."
Paige knew he wouldn't be this conflicted if all of us meant only his siblings. "She wants Theresa to come too, doesn't she?"
"She does. She thinks it will be a low-stress environment for everyone to get to know each other."
"She's right." Susan always was. "So are you going to do it?"
"Maybe."
"What's the deciding factor?"
He paused a long moment before saying, "You." But before she could respond to that stunning answer, he held up a hand. "You've already done so much to help me with my family. It's not fair to keep asking you for more."
"I already told you, this is what family does for one another. You'd do the same for me."
"But I didn't." Regret and guilt were clear in his voice. "So many times, Whitney lashed out at you. So many times, I let you be hurt by her."
"No." It was long past time for Paige to admit the truth. "I let myself be hurt by her." She ducked her head a moment, bracing herself. "I never told you. But when my mom was dying, I made a promise to take care of my dad as well as Whitney after Mom was gone." She still felt the anguish deep in her soul. "But I failed her. Dad went downhill, and I didn't stop it."
"Jesus, Paige." Evan took her hand in his and squeezed it tight, offering her his warmth. "Your dad's death wasn't your fault."
She wanted to fold herself into his arms, but she had to be strong enough to get through this. "I know in my head--" She tapped her temple. "--that he was lost and probably nothing could have brought him back, but..." She shrugged, and then she told him the bigger issue she needed him to know. "Whitney never let me forget it. She reminded me I was failing her whenever I didn't take her side."
"You weren't to blame for your father, and you weren't to blame for any of the lies Whitney told. And you've supported her in every way you possibly could. Until we both realized just how bad her lies really were." He kissed her knuckles so gently she wanted to melt into him. "God, I am so sorry for all her crap."
"Thank you for saying that. But don't you see? I've always taken her crap because it was easier than standing up, or pushing back, or going for the life and the love I truly wanted." She shook her head, feeling the weight of all the things she hadn't done. But that ended now. "I'm done with all that. I'm done letting fear and excuses and, most especially, guilt hold me back."
She wouldn't wimp out this time. Not if there was a chance that she and Evan could make things work.
She'd been a wimp nine years ago--and look how that had turned out.
It was finally time to be bold.
They'd pulled up to her condo by the time she looked him square in the eye and said, "I'd love to go to Chicago with you and your family."
"What did I do that was good enough to deserve you, Paige?"
She smiled then, despite the heavy tension of unrequited desire in the air between them. "Everything good, Evan. Everything."
Then she kissed him on the cheek and slipped out of the car before he could argue with her.
Her fight for his heart was definitely on.
A fight she hoped both of them would win in the end.
Chapter Twenty
They arrived at Susan and Bob's at two thirty Saturday afternoon. "How was the flight, dear?" Susan's smile was so bright it lit up the room.
"Good." Evan smiled, giving her a hug.
Theresa, Tony, and Kelsey had been utterly awed by his luxurious private plane stocked with gourmet food and drinks. Evan had done his best to make them all feel comfortable, but as he had an important Maverick contract the other guys were waiting on him to review, Paige was the one who truly smoothed the way for the three newcomers.
All the while, Evan had been almost painfully aware of Paige. How good she looked in her jeans and sweater. How soft her hair was when she flipped it over her shoulder, a few strands brushing his face. How beautiful her eyes were when she smiled. How lovely the sound of her laughter. On top of that, Paige's fragrance had been something new, light and fruity and more intoxicating than the champagne they were drinking.
Every time they'd been together since New Year's was still fresh inside his head, his heart. It wasn't just their attraction that drew him to her. It was the way she made him think. It was how brave she was in facing up to her past mistakes with her sister and her father. It was how confident she was that anything truly was possible.
God, how she must have suffered over that promise she'd made to her mother. He should have known there'd been something like that in her past. But she was so strong, so courageous, so caring. Take the treat she'd planned in San Francisco, suggesting they see Andy Weir together. No one else would have known how much that would mean to him. But Paige did. She was everything a man could need.
But she needed a man who was worthy of her.
And now he needed to get it together. Especially when he was in the same room with Susan.
While Bob was hanging up coats and jackets, Evan made the introductions. "Meet my brother, Tony, and my sister, Kelsey." He felt proud saying it. Theresa had done a good job there.
"Oh my Lord." Susan grabbed Tony's arms, held on to him as she looked up into his face. "You're the spitting image of Evan." Then she took Kelsey's hand. "You're beautiful, honey."
Kelsey blushed. "Thank you."
"I can't wait to get to know you both better. Evan is so proud of the two of you." Then she passed them on to Bob, who gave them each a big bear hug. That was where Daniel had learned how to hug, from his dad.
"And Theresa." She'd hung back, still shy and hesitant, despite Paige's cheerful chatter on the flight. Susan took Theresa's hand in both of hers. "It is so lovely to finally meet you."
"Thank you. You too." But when Theresa's eyes met Evan's again, he read her clear confusion: How can she think it's lovely to meet me when I abandoned my son to her?
Though Theresa had heard of Susan back in the neighborhood and knew she was a good woman, she couldn't possibly comprehend Susan's amazing capacity to love, her willingness to forgive a wrong, her need to make things right. If it was in her power, Susan would make this right too. It was why they were here, after all.
Evan wasn't sure anyone had that power. Not Paige. Not even Susan. No matter how good their intentions.
"Paige, honey." Susan opened her arms again. "Come give me a hug. I haven't seen you since last year."
Paige laughed as they hugged. "Last year was only a week ago."
It seemed like a lifetime. A week ago, he hadn't kissed Paige, hadn't held her or tasted her skin, hadn't dreamed of her, hadn't needed to hear her laughter more than he needed food or water or air.
And he hadn't known he had a family besides the Mavericks.
Susan herded them into the great room. "Have you eaten?"
"You wouldn't believe the food they served on Evan's plane," Kelsey said with a smile that was still more than slightly awed. "And champagne too!"
He smiled indulgently, feeling a tug on his heartstrings. He still couldn't qu
ite believe he had a sister. Or that she could be so fun, so smart, so pretty.
"If you get hungry again, I've put out a few snacks." Susan's version of snacks was a smorgasbord of guacamole and chips, spinach dip with French bread, a platter of shrimp, and bowls of nuts on the coffee table. She'd spent years feeding five hungry teenage boys, after all. "Now come in, make yourselves at home." The massive fireplace and brickwork filled one wall, and a blaze was pumping warmth into the room accompanied by the pleasant crackle of the fire.
Theresa sat on one end of the sectional sofa, and Susan took a place next to her. Tony relaxed into the couch on Susan's right. Bob had pulled chairs to the other side of the coffee table, but before Evan could take one of the seats, Bob sat with Kelsey beside him. That left a corner of the couch for Evan, with Paige next to him. Which, truthfully, was right where he wanted her to be.
"I want to hear all about raising twins," Susan said to Theresa. "I've always marveled at parents who manage such a feat." The way she said it, you wouldn't have thought she'd raised six kids herself.
Theresa smiled fondly at Kelsey and Tony. "They were easy babies. Great kids."
Paige shifted next to him, and between them, where no one could see, she squeezed his fingers. Even as wound up as he was over her, the gesture relaxed him.
"People were always so kind," Theresa continued, speaking more easily with Susan than she did with anyone but the twins. "Especially the man who gave me a job the first day I was in Modesto. I used the last of the money I had for one night at a cheap motel. There was a coffee shop across the street, and I went in to ask for work. The waitress said they weren't hiring. But there was a man eating at the counter. He said he needed a receptionist if I was interested. And even when I told him I was pregnant, he didn't retract the offer."
"You'd finally found a safe haven," Susan said in a gentle voice.
"It was a miracle," Theresa agreed.
Susan wasn't looking at Evan, nor had she been speaking directly to him, but her message was clear nonetheless. In the world of his childhood, kids were left alone for hours. They suffered abuse--physical, verbal, and more. But Susan and Bob's house hadn't just been a haven for Evan--it had been equally as miraculous as Modesto had been for Theresa.
Yes, she'd made a terrible choice between him and the twins, but if she'd come home for him first, would any of them have made it out? Or would they all have ended up rotting in that squalid neighborhood, buried by his father's fists?
*
Paige was impressed by Theresa's story. She'd beaten the odds, and the twins had grown into extraordinary people.
If only she hadn't left Evan behind.
"I've worked for Hugh Cramer's company ever since," Theresa was saying.
"He sounds like an amazing man," Susan said.
Beside Paige, Evan sat still as a stone. His expression was just as unreadable. Paige wondered if the thought of Theresa immediately getting a job in Modesto with an understanding boss bothered Evan. Because if she was settled, if she could easily have come back for him, why hadn't she?
"Hugh and his wife were wonderful," Theresa said softly. "They're both gone, and we all miss them so much."
"They were like our grandparents," Kelsey said with fondness brimming over. Tony agreed with just a smile.
"After the twins were born," Theresa went on, "they knew I was juggling the job and child care, so she would often babysit, and he let me bring the kids in with me. I also needed to keep borrowing money from them." She glanced at Tony and Kelsey, who smiled encouragingly. "But I paid it all back." She took a deep breath, one that didn't seem to do much to center her before she said, "I don't know how I can ever pay you both back for what you did for Evan." Her voice was watery, tears obviously close.
Paige felt Evan stiffen beside her. Aching for him, she gave the only thing she could with everyone around them--a gentle brush of his shoulder with hers.
Susan patted Theresa's leg. "My dear, we're the ones who have to thank you. It was a privilege to have him." She looked at Evan with deep emotion shining in her eyes. "We love him with all our hearts."
"We love all our boys," Bob said in agreement.
"Look at all those games on the shelf," Kelsey said, clearly afraid that they were about to degenerate into a tear-fest. "You must have a lot of grandchildren."
Evan tensed once more, and worry flickered on Susan's face as she glanced at him. Paige knew they were thinking about the same thing. Whitney and her pregnancy lies. All the grandchildren Susan didn't have.
Fortunately, Bob jumped in to save them all. "We have one wonderful grandchild from our foster son Matt. Noah is nearly six. We adore him. But Susan and I love to play games in the evening."
"When you're not bingeing on Sons of Anarchy," Paige teased, hoping to lighten the mood. "You even got me addicted to it."
"When you're done, you've got to try The Walking Dead," Susan said like an overexcited teenager.
Evan groaned like any son would when embarrassed by a parent, and everyone laughed. Everyone but Theresa, who was carefully watching the interaction between Susan and Evan. Not with jealousy, but with regret.
It was clear to Paige that Theresa wished she could have been the mother Evan needed. But could Evan understand that?
"Why don't we play a game?" Susan suggested. "How about Skip-Bo?"
"Do not let her con you into playing that," Bob said. "She wins every time."
Susan shrugged. "What can I say? I'm lucky at cards."
"How about Yahtzee?" Paige said, spying the game on the shelf.
"We used to play that a lot," Tony said.
Theresa smiled. "It was thrifty entertainment."
"And Tony liked it because he always won," Kelsey put in. "Even though I'm the numbers girl."
"Well, you'll all have some stiff competition with this one." Bob jerked his thumb at Susan. That was one of the things that Paige loved about the Spencers--the way they teased with such love in their eyes.
They cleared the food remainders off the table, and while everyone was preoccupied with carrying things to the kitchen or sifting through the games on the shelf, Paige drew Evan aside. "How are you doing?"
"I'm fine."
She growled at him, "You know I hate it when you say fine like that."
He laughed softly, and she felt a tingle low in her belly. "I'm not going to lie and say this is the easiest social gathering of my life. But it's a heck of a lot better than last Sunday."
She wanted to lay her head on his chest, as if listening to his heartbeat would confirm his feelings better than his words could.
"Did it bother you to hear about Theresa's experiences bringing up Kelsey and Tony in Modesto?"
"A little." She appreciated his honesty a great deal. Especially knowing what it cost him. "But it also cleared up a few things."
She smiled at him. "I'm so glad you feel that way."
When he returned the smile, she wanted so badly to kiss him. Right then and there in the middle of Susan and Bob's living room. With everyone watching. Soon, she hoped. Soon, leaning in to kiss him in front of everyone would be as natural as breathing.
"Thank you for coming here this weekend." He brushed a lock of hair from her cheek. "I can't imagine doing any of this without you." His fingertips lingered on her face. "I wouldn't want to."
She melted on the inside. Not just from his caress, but from the amazing things he'd said. His gaze on her burned with desire, tracing her face, sweeping down to her lips, as if he imagined putting his mouth on hers.
Before she could put voice to any of her swirling, growing feelings--or steal the kiss she could practically taste--Tony called out, "You any good at Yahtzee, Evan?"
"Wait and see," Evan said with a smirk.
"Sorry in advance when I crush you, bro."
By the grin that spread over Evan's face, Paige knew how much he liked it when his bro egged him on.
Still, Paige's stomach twisted. Because once she and Whitney ha
d grown into teenagers, they'd never had that kind of relationship. And now they never would.
"Paige?" Looking back up into Evan's eyes, she saw concern deepening the hazel color. "Are you okay? You look upset."
He'd been honest with her. She could do no less with him. "I was thinking about Whitney. How we were never very good together as sisters."
"You were." His words were impassioned. "You were the best sister she could ever have hoped for. It's her fault she never knew how to love you the way you loved her."
With his heartfelt words, Paige felt a spell weaving itself around just the two of them, drawing them closer and deeper together.
"Time to get your caffeine fix," Susan called out, carrying two carafes while Bob carted a tray of mugs and cream and sugar. Theresa followed with a big plate of cookies.
Even then, the spell didn't break. Because Paige could still feel the threads of attraction--and strong emotion--connecting them.
*
The game was fabulous. They laughed and cursed and groaned and had a marvelous time with each roll of the dice.
"You can't use a calculator." Tony snorted at his sister when she fished one out of her purse.
"I'm an accountant. We do everything better with calculators."
"I'm not touching that one with a ten-foot pole." Bob's eyes widened to saucer size.
Everyone laughed. Even Theresa. And she wasn't the only one having a good time. At long last, something seemed to let loose in Evan too.
Was it spending time with his new siblings?
Was it realizing that the ghost of his mother wasn't nearly as horrible in real life as it had been in his head all these years?
Or was it the bond Paige felt growing moment by moment between herself and Evan?
He rolled and one of the dice fell off the table. He leaned down to get it, searching on the carpet, but somehow found her leg instead, his hand gliding up the half boots she wore, as if he hadn't been able to resist touching her.
Paige flushed, almost gasping out loud at the sensual touch.
When he finally came back up with the die, Susan pointed a finger at him and said, "You better watch out for him."
Paige's heart stopped beating. Does Susan know?
"He was always the quiet one, our Evan," Susan continued. "But then you'd find he'd done something tricky, like switching out the dice under the table."