LETTER XXXIX
MR. LOVELACE, TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE[SUPERSCRIBED TO MRS. LOVELACE.]M. HALL, MONDAY, JUNE 26.
Once more, my dearest love, do I conjure you to send me the fourrequested words. There is no time to be lost. And I would not have nextThursday go over, without being entitled to call you mine, for the world;and that as well for your sake as for my own. Hitherto all that haspassed is between you and me only; but, after Thursday, if my wishes areunanswered, the whole will be before the world.
My Lord is extremely ill, and endures not to have me out of his sight forone half hour. But this shall not have the least weight with me, if yoube pleased to hold out the olive-branch to me in the four requestedwords.
I have the following intelligence from Captain Tomlinson.
'All your family are at your uncle Harlowe's. Your uncle finds he cannotgo up; and names Captain Tomlinson for his proxy. He proposes to keepall your family with him till the Captain assures him that the ceremonyis over.
'Already he has begun, with hope of success, to try to reconcile yourmother to you.'
My Lord M. but just now has told me how happy he should think himself tohave an opportunity, before he dies, to salute you as his niece. I haveput him in hopes that he shall see you; and have told him that I will goto town on Wednesday, in order to prevail upon you to accompany me downon Thursday or Friday. I have ordered a set to be in readiness to carryme up; and, were not my Lord so very ill, my cousin Montague tells methat she would offer her attendance on you. If you please, therefore, wecan set out for this place the moment the solemnity is performed.
Do not, dearest creature, dissipate all those promising appearances, andby refusing to save your own and your family's reputation in the eye ofthe world, use yourself worse than the ungratefullest wretch on earth hasused you. For if we were married, all the disgrace you imagine you havesuffered while a single lady, will be my own, and only known toourselves.
Once more, then, consider well the situation we are both in; andremember, my dearest life, that Thursday will be soon here; and that youhave no time to lose.
In a letter sent by the messenger whom I dispatch with this, I havedesired that my friend, Mr. Belford, who is your very great admirer, andwho knows all the secrets of my heart, will wait upon you, to know what Iam to depend upon as to the chosen day.
Surely, my dear, you never could, at any time, suffer half so much fromcruel suspense, as I do.
If I have not an answer to this, either from your own goodness, orthrough Mr. Belford's intercession, it will be too late for me to setout: and Captain Tomlinson will be disappointed, who goes to town onpurpose to attend your pleasure.
One motive for the gentle resistance I have presumed to lay you under is,to prevent the mischiefs that might ensue (as probably to the moreinnocent, as to the less) were you to write to any body while yourpassions were so much raised and inflamed against me. Having apprizedyou of my direction to the women in town on this head, I wonder youshould have endeavoured to send a letter to Miss Howe, although in acover directed to that young lady's* servant; as you must think it wouldbe likely to fall into my hands.
* The lady had made an attempt to send away a letter.
The just sense of what I have deserved the contents should be, leaves meno room to doubt what they are. Nevertheless, I return it you enclosed,with the seal, as you will see, unbroken.
Relieve, I beseech you, dearest Madam, by the four requested words, or byMr. Belford, the anxiety of
Your ever-affectionate and obligedLOVELACE.
Remember, there will not, there cannot be time for further writing, andfor coming up by Thursday, your uncle's birth-day.