She wanted to rip the cell out of Matt's hands to call the woman. But this wasn't just about Ari, was it? She wasn't the only person who had lost someone they loved. "Do you think it will open up old wounds for Karmen's mom?"
Matt curled his fingers around hers, and her heart turned over as though she were doing somersaults on the trampoline.
"I don't know." His voice was so soft, his touch so gentle. "Maybe no one's mentioned her daughter in years, and you'll give her a chance to talk about her. To remember her."
He astounded her with his insight. It was exactly what she'd been trying to say about Gideon--that the memories Zach Smith had given her were precious.
She thought of her mother, and how no one had talked about her after she'd died. Yes, she was a drug addict who had dragged her daughter from filthy apartment to dirty dive, one after the other. But Ari had loved her. "When my mom died and they took me away, it was like she didn't exist anymore, as if talking about her would remind me of some terrible time."
Matt's hand tightened around hers, giving her his strength, his heat, his power. "But you wanted to remember, didn't you?"
"I needed to. Not everything was totally bad. She loved me, and sometimes she'd hug me so hard I could feel that love deep inside." She'd only been able to talk about this to Rosie and Chi. And now, after all these years, she was telling Matt. "How do you remember your parents?" In all the things they'd spoken of so far, they hadn't shared this.
His hand flexed over hers, and she thought he might not answer until finally he said in a quiet voice, "I prefer to remember what it was like in Susan and Bob's house."
She melted for him, for the little boy who'd never found what he needed in his own home. Knowing that made her feel even closer to him. "Everyone's different." She offered him comfort with the rhythmic stroke of her thumb.
For a long moment, he watched her thumb go round and round on his hand, and the heat of his skin penetrated deep inside her. Finally, he raised his gaze from their linked hands. "Karmen's mom could be like you, wanting to remember. Let's call her now. It's not too late." Without letting go of her hand, he picked up his phone again and tapped the number his investigator had texted.
Her heart choking her throat, she listened to his gentle voice, his careful explanation, and finally his thank-you.
"Tomorrow," he said. "She'd like to talk to us. We can be down there before noon."
Ari wanted to throw herself at him, cover him with kisses, and show him how much what he'd done for her really meant. How much he meant.
Because in her heart, there was no going back.
Chapter Nineteen
"Thank you," she said at her hotel room door. "Not just for dinner." She put her hand on his arm, his tendons flexing beneath her fingertips. "For everything."
The way he gazed at her had the breath catching in her throat. But instead of kissing her the way she so badly hoped he would, he said, "Breakfast at eight sound okay? And then we'll get on the road."
Of course she nodded. "It sounds great." It seemed a crime to sleep alone after all they'd shared today, but unfortunately this wasn't a decision she could make alone.
In her room, she wandered past the huge bed to the sitting area with its small sofa and two chairs surrounding a fireplace. Turning in a circle without sitting down, she finally realized the connecting door was still open. Crossing to close it, she saw Matt standing just beyond the door, his gaze on her as if he hadn't looked away since she'd entered her room.
He'd given her such joy--the things she'd learned about Gideon today, the potential for what she might discover tomorrow. All of it encircled Matt, his generosity, his caring.
"I almost forgot to tell you." His voice was raw with emotion and desire. "Noah wanted me to give you a good-night kiss."
That was all it took. She didn't think rationally, didn't want to remind herself that this relationship could never work unless they were both fully on board.
Her body cared only about what she wanted, needed.
Craved.
She threw herself at him, almost launching into the air, and he caught her, hauling her high against him until she wrapped her legs tightly around his waist and curled her arms around his neck. He slammed the connecting door shut and shoved her up against it, his mouth on hers, kissing her until her breath mingled with his as though they were one.
He was so hard between her legs, and she was miles beyond hot, wet, and ready. She kissed him with ferocity, hugged him tighter, moaned her need into his mouth.
Pinning her body to the door, he held her face in his hands, dropping kisses over her cheeks, her mouth, her ear, tipping her head to get at her throat. He bit her neck lightly, then trailed back to her ear, kissing her until she trembled with desire.
"What do you want?" he whispered.
"Everything." She wasn't afraid to admit it. But she didn't want to go there alone. She needed him to be as fearless as she was. "What do you want?"
"You." Something rough and potent in his voice took that single word far beyond the physical. "I want to strip you down, bare you one gorgeous inch at a time, and love you the way you deserve to be loved."
Everything inside her turned to liquid fire under the heat of his gaze. He let her slide to the floor, stepping back to look down at her. His fingers traced her curves with barely a touch, making it all the more intoxicating.
Then he skimmed beneath the lapels of her jacket. "I looked at you across the table tonight, the lilac jacket..." He pushed it off her shoulders, let it drop to the carpet, and rested his hands at her waist. "The white shirt..." He tugged it from her jeans, began drawing it up, the backs of his fingers hot against her skin.
She couldn't breathe, couldn't speak, couldn't even say his name to beg for more.
When he pulled the cotton over her head, he stared down at her with such heat in his eyes that she felt spotlighted by his desire. As if she were the only woman he wanted, the only one he'd ever want.
"There it is," he whispered. "All that pretty purple lingerie. I saw the hint of it beneath your shirt, and you have no idea what that did to me." He slid one finger beneath the strap of her bra, brushing down, coming perilously close to her nipple as he dipped into the cup. Then he pulled the straps off her shoulders, letting them hang a moment down her arms. Decadent. Sexy.
Unbearably erotic.
He toyed with her, his hands at the zipper of her jeans, driving her crazy. Finally, he slipped the top button loose. "I wonder if your panties match that lovely lilac." He drew on the zipper, hissed out a breath as he saw the fabric of her panties. "Hell, yes. You can make a man wild with imagining what's beneath all these clothes." Then he hooked his fingers inside her waistband and stripped off her jeans. All the way down, going on his haunches before her. "God, you're beautiful."
He pulled everything off, including her shoes, as she braced herself on his shoulder. His skin burned even through his shirt. Then he looked up at her, his gaze following the length of her body, his eyes as hot as a wildfire. Rising slowly, he let his fingers take the path his gaze had moments before. She trembled for him.
"I need to touch you." He seduced her with his words, his heat, the way he snapped open her bra in the front and moved to circle her nipple with one possessive stroke. She was naked except for the tiny bikini panties.
And she was all his for the taking.
"I need to have you, skin on skin. Now." With that, he stripped away the final wisp of fabric covering her. "You steal my breath. My sanity." His admissions were raw with heat--and emotion.
"You steal my sanity too," she whispered. "And I want to strip you down the same way."
"You took the words right out of my mouth," he said in that low, commanding voice that always made her come apart at the seams. "It's your turn now, Ari."
Her hands on his belt, she didn't fumble. The hot flare of passion burned in his eyes as she undid his zipper with an achingly slow glide. And her mouth watered for his taste.
&n
bsp; Finding the hard jut of him with her hand, she knew taking him that way wasn't something she could do badly, even as inexperienced as she was. He was so special, and she wanted it so much. She stroked him with the tiny pearl of moisture on his tip.
"Everything," he said. "Take it all off."
She stripped off his shirt, caught for one moment by a dusky nipple. She licked him, sucked the nub into her mouth. Then bit him lightly. His body surged in her hand.
"So you want to play dirty, huh?" he whispered. Then he gently steered her to her knees...and she swore every last part of her liquefied.
She tugged off the rest of his clothes until he was gloriously naked, and she was eye level with all that beautiful flesh--thick, full, hard, and long. Up close and personal, she was able to appreciate his magnificence in a way she hadn't that one special night.
Then she took him, just the tip, circling with her tongue, and his body arched, his hands tangling in her hair. "I've imagined this. I've dreamed about you, Ari. Over and over."
Knowing he'd dreamed of her the way she had of him, the moment overwhelmed her, and she took him deeper.
"Jesus," he whispered through a sizzle of breath.
The sound made her feel beautiful and wanted and powerful. Power was something a girl like her had never found before. It wasn't even something she'd known she wanted until the moment he gave it to her.
Then he hauled her to her feet, kissing her openmouthed, his taste still on her tongue. "You feel so damned good," he murmured. "But it's too soon. This night needs to go on forever. And I can't control myself around you."
She didn't hold back her smile. Refused to hold back anything. "Then don't."
He lifted her high and gently tossed her on her stomach in the middle of the bed. He climbed after her, stalking her, pulling her up on her hands and knees and moving in behind her, his thighs taut against hers.
"Are you sure you mean that?" His words were harsh with need as he ran his hands down her back to her hips, resting them on her bottom. The things he said and the way he touched her made her feel raw and needy, her skin sensitized all over.
She'd never expected to find a man she could be so totally open with, so completely available to, giving him anything he wanted, and yet trusting that she'd be okay. Not just okay--amazing. She wouldn't let herself be afraid to ask for everything. To ask for him.
"Yes." She wriggled back against him, loving the way his muscles tightened against her. "Take me, Matt."
"I will." He pressed a hot kiss to her shoulder. "But I want you to close your eyes and feel first. Feel what you do to me, Ari."
Nudging her legs farther apart, he slipped his rock-hard erection between them, stopping just short of entering her.
He was hard and pulsing against her sex, and with her eyes closed, her senses came totally alive. She was lightning ready to strike at any moment. When he slid a hand under her belly and found the center of her arousal, it was the ultimate--and the very best--shock to her system. She felt him everywhere, his fingers slip-sliding over her until she throbbed madly, his big muscular body blanketing her, his mouth on her neck, his kisses in her hair, his breath at her ear. There was delicious friction everywhere, beautiful sensation all over.
"Matt." Everything he did made her body surge and crest. It was so good. Too good. Scary good. She wanted to be fearless, but she was in so deep now that it frightened her a little. "I don't... I can't..."
"You can. For me, Ari. Only for me."
With his words, she shattered, his deep voice wrapping around her, his arms tight and possessive. She shuddered with a pleasure so intense that she lost all thought--there was only his heat surrounding her, taking her higher.
"I love how ready you are for anything," he murmured. "For everything."
She trembled with the sensuality of his touch. "Don't stop."
"I already told you," he whispered as he hauled her back against his hard chest, her legs splayed open over his. "I can't stop. Not when I'm with you."
She couldn't see his face, could only feel his heat between her legs, his breath in her hair. Instead of pushing into her, he simply held her against him as he ran his big, strong hands over her belly, her breasts, up to her throat. He nudged her head aside to give him access to her neck and caressed her with his tongue, licking in tantalizing paths.
"Put me inside you, Ari. Make us both feel good. So damned good."
She loved that he knew so many different ways they could be together. Even slightly kinky ways. Especially those.
"You brought condoms," she said as she reached back and realized he already wore protection.
"I didn't plan this," he whispered against her hair. "But I'm a man who's learned to be ready for anything. And still, I wasn't ready for you." He buried his face against her neck. "You were standing in sunlight the first time I saw you...and you were perfect. I've been trying so hard to fight what's between us."
"The first time I looked at you--" She felt overfull with emotion, but it no longer frightened her. "I knew you were special. When we finally spoke, once I learned what a wonderful father you are, what an incredible man..." She covered his hands with hers and held them over her heart. "I started falling. And I can't stop."
"Ari--" She heard the groan of conflict in his voice. "I'm not a hero."
"You are, and you don't even know it." She tipped her head back against his shoulder to look at him. "I'm not fighting what's between us anymore. And I don't want you to fight either."
"How can I?" The words came out on a growl as he cupped her chin and kissed her. "How can I keep fighting when I see how good you are with my son? When having you in my arms is hotter than I'd ever thought possible. When I think about you all day--all night."
His exquisite words pulled her closer, became a part of her, and now, finally, she needed to do what he'd commanded in that sexy voice. Shifting her hips back toward his, she slid onto his beautiful erection, one glorious inch at a time. They both held their breath until the moment of complete connection, his chest to her back. She felt stretched to her very limits. And filled all the way to her heart.
As he moved inside her, his hands roamed down her body, leaving fire in their wake. And when he slipped his fingers between her legs, stroking her most sensitive spot, she hovered right on the edge of total bliss.
"I can feel you everywhere."
"I feel you, Ari." Holding her tightly, he continued that intoxicatingly slow rock-and-roll of their bodies. "You're so soft. And so strong at the same time. So sweet. So perfect." Shifting his hips, he reached a spot inside that made her tremble and quake, and when her body involuntarily rose to a faster pace, he held her hips, forcing her to match his slow, erotic, mind-altering rhythm. "Slow, baby. Slow and wild."
She moaned deep in her throat, the sound so rough she couldn't believe it came from her.
"I know." His voice was harsh, overwhelmed. By pleasure. By need. By her. "I'm right there with you."
Her legs shook, her breath quavered, her mouth falling open with small cries she couldn't contain. Then everything shot down to the point where their bodies met, where he filled her, joined with her, where they'd become one.
And she exploded over him.
GodYesAri
The words he said--groaned--blurred together as he never stopped moving, never stopped touching. Hands everywhere, their skin sweaty and slick against each other.
When she couldn't remember her own name, let alone his, he withdrew and rolled swiftly to his back, lifting her onto him so they were chest to chest, face to face, heart to heart. "Again. Like this."
As she took him deep inside once more, she closed her eyes, relishing that he was her perfect fit as sensation began to build all over again, slow and heated.
"Put your hands here." He brought her palms to his chest.
She leaned over him, the angle changed, and she gasped. He grinned, the sexiest smile on the planet. "Yes. Right there. That's where I want you. Hot and wet and trembling o
ver me. All around me."
And then he found her with his hand again and everything inside her burst into flame one more time.
When she finally resurfaced, she was on her back, with him tall above her, her legs draped over his hips. He pulled them high, holding her at the ankles, her feet bracketing his ears.
He'd turned her into a wild thing tonight. But this--having him in so many incredible ways--ways she hadn't even known existed.
She clutched the comforter in her hands, threw her head back, and cried out, wordless sounds, his name, God. The pleasure was relentless. Never-ending, so that she was barely able to tell where one climax ended and another began.
Finally, he came down over her, falling with her into ecstasy, clutching her so tightly that she could barely breathe. She could only pray he wouldn't fight what he felt for her anymore.
And she wished with everything in her that it would never end.
*
After long minutes in his arms, Ari laughed softly. "Oh my God." Her breath was warm against his ear. "I didn't know it could be like that."
He cradled her close, moving slightly to the side so he didn't crush her frame. "It's never been like that before." Only that one beautiful, perfect night with her had come anywhere close.
Tonight, he'd wanted to experience every ounce of pleasure he could wring from her. Through her climaxes, he'd barely been able to hold himself back, the effort tensing all his muscles--until the moment hit him when he had no choice but to take her hard and fast, losing himself in her. Finding himself in her. Until there was nothing but sensation, her taste on his lips, her soft skin, her scent dragging him deeper. Until there was no real world outside, no thought, just the silkiness of her limbs around him and the pulse of her body--liquid heat, molten desire in his arms.
Even now, he was so crazy with need for her that tension coiled through his body, heated him, hardened him again, making his blood crackle in his veins and his skin hum with electricity. She'd hit every pleasure point, and yet he still had to squeeze his eyes shut in an effort to try to regain his control.
But he'd never had any control with Ari. Not when his need for her had always won out over what he believed to be right.