He'd wasted so much time thinking about right and wrong. Yet he was wrong about one huge thing he hadn't considered. While he'd told himself how young she was, how innocent, he'd discovered that not only was she strong and resilient, but she'd also managed to hold on to her hope and joy against all odds.
He'd never known a woman like her. She was utterly fearless.
The one night they'd shared--he hadn't wanted to acknowledge how special it had been. But there was no denying it now.
"Stay," he murmured.
He wanted her in his arms all night. Wanted to wake up in the morning with her. Wanted her to be the first one he saw when he opened his eyes, the first one he touched. Wanted to make her smile. Wanted to give her pleasure.
He wanted her.
*
Ari's dream was pure pleasure, her body cresting a great wave. A wall of heat at her back turned her insides red-hot, and then Matt was filling her, their bodies moving together as though they were floating on the ocean, its waves rocking them.
She wasn't exactly aware of when the dream ended and reality began--only that the pleasure climbed higher and higher, tingling in her belly, spreading out to her limbs.
His chest was plastered to her back, her leg pulled high on his hip, opening her to his possession as he stroked her intimately. Instinctively, she braced her hand on the bed and pushed back on him. She wanted to wake every day just this way, to his hands on her, his breath flirting with her hair, his body buried deep.
He groaned and flexed inside her, his erection a throb that made her ache for more. Her breath came faster, matching the rhythm of his body inside her and the swirl of his fingers between her thighs.
How could her body keep burning hotter? How could these sensations keep intensifying?
There was no one like Matt. No one who'd ever made her feel the things he did. No one who'd made her matter with his words, his body, his kiss, his touch.
"Please, baby," he begged her. "Take me with you."
In the darkness, his hands and his kisses taking her higher, it was his words that released her--knowing that, just like her, he needed to beg, to plead to be taken in and held tight.
And when she plummeted over the edge, crying out her pleasure, the ultimate pleasure was taking him into that crazy, wild plunge right along with her.
Chapter Twenty
The next morning, the touch of Matt's hands over hers made Ari feel that everything would be all right--even as they turned onto Mrs. Sanchez's street and faced the unknown.
She hadn't expected this neighborhood. She'd always thought of Bakersfield as a cow town, with farms and stockyards and fields. But the houses in this neighborhood were mansions. Not in Matt's class, but certainly way above Ari's or Zach Smith's. The lawns were green even after a thirsty summer, and tall, stately trees flanked long driveways.
Mrs. Sanchez lived in a two-story home with dormer windows and a circular drive. Matt parked beneath the portico and took Ari's hand as they climbed the steps to the double-wide front door. The knocker was as shiny as gold.
"I wonder how Gideon felt walking up these stairs." Probably as out of place as she felt the first time she'd set foot inside Matt's mansion.
She wouldn't have been surprised if a butler had opened the door, but they were greeted by an elegant woman, her gray hair piled stylishly and her olive complexion made up tastefully. Her blue pantsuit fit her graceful curves as though it had been hand designed.
"Miss Jones?"
"Yes." Ari stuck out her hand. "And this is my friend, Matt Tremont."
They shook, then Mrs. Sanchez flourished her hand, stepping aside for them to enter. "Please," she said with a smile. "Come in. I'm so glad you called."
In the spacious tiled foyer, fresh flowers adorned a table, potted plants stood in the corners, and a wide, carpeted stairway led to the second floor. She ushered them through double doors into a large, sunny lounge already set with a coffee service. The atmosphere was completely different from Zach Smith's home, and yet, it was just as welcoming. Matt sat beside Ari on the couch while Mrs. Sanchez poured.
"Gideon was such a nice man. It was so thoughtful of him to come see us. My husband was still alive at the time, and I can't tell you how much your brother's visit meant."
"We're very sorry for your loss," Ari said, her throat tight. She knew the trauma of losing someone you loved. Especially family. And this woman had lost both husband and daughter.
"Thank you, dear. Now, why don't you tell me how I can help?"
Ari held her coffee cup but didn't drink from it. "I've been looking for Gideon since he got out of the Army."
"Goodness, you haven't seen him since then?"
Mrs. Sanchez put a hand to the pearls at her throat. Ari guessed her to be in her mid-sixties, with the same Latina coloring as Rosie. Her voice was cultured, and she wore a gold band of diamonds on her left hand.
"No, ma'am. In fact, I haven't seen him since he joined up when I was eight."
"That's far too long," she said sympathetically. "I wish I could lead you to him, but though he used to call me every year or so, I haven't heard from him in...oh, at least two years." Her eyes deepened with sadness.
Matt took Ari's hand as if he knew exactly how hard it was not to let the disappointment creep over her. As she'd told him last night, she was thrilled to have learned so much about Gideon. And she wasn't about to give up.
"Did he ever say where he was when he called?"
"He didn't, I'm afraid. I collected these pictures for you, though." Mrs. Sanchez leaned forward, pulling a manila envelope from beneath the coffee tray. "Your brother was such a good man. He brought some photos of Karmen that he thought we'd like to have." She held the envelope on her lap a moment. "We were so proud of her. After 9/11 she wanted to do something for her country. We lost a nephew when the towers went down. She was in high school then, and she'd always wanted to be a nurse. We got her to agree to go to college first." She fingered her pearls again. "Perhaps I was hoping she would change her mind along the way, but she signed up before she graduated." Her sigh was deep and filled with sorrow. "I was afraid from the moment she was deployed. But you have to let your children follow their path, no matter how much you fear for them."
"She was so lucky to have you as her mother," Ari said as Mrs. Sanchez slid the collection from the envelope and passed over the small bundle.
"You are just as sweet as your brother." She leaned close, pointing to the first photograph. "That's my daughter."
It had been taken on a military base with Army vehicles in the background. "She was beautiful." The woman wore fatigues but no helmet, her dark hair short and thick.
Mrs. Sanchez smiled fondly. "She was such a pretty child, with lovely long, curly hair she inherited from her father. She loved seeing foreign places. My husband and I weren't big travelers, so I'm not sure where Karmen got that bug from."
The next photo was of a group of ten soldiers in desert fatigues, helmets, and guns, all the paraphernalia making them almost indistinguishable.
"There's Karmen." Mrs. Sanchez pointed.
"I thought she was a medic."
"She still had to carry a gun when she went out in the field with the men." Mrs. Sanchez blinked rapidly, until finally she smiled again. "Those men depended on her, and she wanted to be right out there giving them aid."
Ari picked out Zach Smith in the photo next. And then, she finally recognized Gideon standing next to Karmen. She'd remembered him as the boy he'd been, the older brother. But this was a man, broader in the chest, with hard life experience in his eyes.
She held out the photo for Matt to see. "That's my brother." Her eyes stung with tears.
Mrs. Sanchez touched her hand. "My daughter sent us photos, of course, but there was something extra special about hearing about her from a comrade who knew her over there. Your brother told us how many lives she saved and said she was a brave soldier. It's exactly what Karmen would have wanted the men and women she ser
ved with to say about her."
"I'm sure she was one of the best," Ari said softly.
She shifted to the next picture, this one of five soldiers in full gear. Ari picked out Karmen and Gideon immediately. Her heart stilled all over again.
"Your brother said that was his team, even if Karmen wasn't actually under his command, and sometimes they were assigned other medics."
God. His team--they were all gone except Gideon. One of the men looked a little older--probably the married one with children. And the other two, despite their gear, didn't look much older than Gideon had been when he left. All of them gone.
The packet of photos trembled in Ari's hand as she moved to the next one. The group was larger this time, maybe fifteen or so, and the backdrop was unidentifiable--the inside of a tent perhaps, she couldn't be sure. Dressed in fatigues minus the gear and helmets, they all wore big smiles, laughing, arms thrown across each other's shoulders. Once again, Karmen stood next to Gideon, his arm around her just as it was around the man next to him.
But he was turned slightly toward Karmen, looking down at her. Ari felt a hitch below her ribs, knowing without a doubt that Gideon had been in love with her. And when she'd died along with the rest of his team, he would have believed it was his fault.
It wasn't true, of course. It was war.
But the woman he'd loved was still dead.
Ari gripped Matt's hand more tightly, and when she looked into his eyes, she knew he'd seen the same thing in the picture. Thank God he was here with her and she didn't have to do this alone.
More than ever, she needed to find her brother, to show him he wasn't alone either.
Though Mrs. Sanchez obviously missed her daughter with all her heart, she managed to keep herself together where a lesser woman would have fallen apart. She showed them the wall of pictures along the upper hallway--Karmen as a baby, a young girl, a teenager, a prom queen, a soldier. She was obviously an only child, though in many of the photos she was surrounded by cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. There were pictures of her in dress uniform with her parents. She had her mother's face and her father's smile. She'd been a beautiful young woman full of promise, and she had given all that promise for her country.
"She never complained about the dust and dirt." Mrs. Sanchez smiled, her eyes far away with memory. "She'd been such a girly-girl. Always the perfect party dress, the perfect hair, the perfect makeup. But Gideon said she was perfectly happy to be one of the guys."
"I'm so glad he was able to share his stories with you."
Ari barely held back tears. Only by reminding herself that she was on the same path her brother had walked, and that she might find him around the next corner, was she able to keep herself together.
When they'd finished the pot of coffee and the plate of pastries, Ari said, "Thank you--we've taken so much time."
"You haven't. You've helped me remember Karmen all over again. In the rush of the day, we sometimes forget to just sit and remember."
"And you've helped me remember my brother." Ari gave Mrs. Sanchez an impulsive hug.
"I hope you find him, dear. If he should ever call again, I'll tell him how to reach you."
"Thank you. For everything."
After they'd said their good-byes and Matt had walked Ari down the steps to his car, she turned suddenly, went up on her toes, and threw her arms around him.
"Thank you," she whispered against his neck as he rubbed his hands up and down her back. "He was just a boy when he left. Now I know the man he turned into." She pulled back and looked into Matt's eyes. "He's out there." Determination fueled her. "And we're going to find him."
"I'll do everything in my power." But he frowned slightly. "I'm concerned that he hasn't called Mrs. Sanchez in two years, though."
She understood his unease, but she couldn't give in to it. "I was just a little girl the last time I saw my brother, but I know how deeply he would take the responsibility for his team--even when he couldn't have saved them. If he's gone into hiding, it's because he hasn't come out of the dark place he fell into when his friends died. He needs me to show him that it wasn't his fault. That there's someone out there who loves him unconditionally." And she needed her brother too. "Look at Mrs. Sanchez. She's lost so much, and yet what Gideon brought her has meaning for her to this day. I can show him that people still love him."
"Any way I can help you, Ari, I will."
She smiled up into Matt's beautiful eyes. "You already have, more than you'll ever know."
*
After dinner at a local Italian restaurant, they'd just finished wishing Noah good night over the phone, when Rafe Sullivan texted again to say he'd had luck with another name on Zach Smith's list. Ralph Esterhausen's wife lived in Lancaster, about an hour and a half south. Ari's stomach was jumpy with anticipation--and hope--that Mrs. Esterhausen might have heard from Gideon more recently than Karmen's mother had.
Matt immediately called, leaving a message when no one answered. "If I don't get a callback tonight," he told Ari, "we'll head down tomorrow morning and call again on the way."
The hotel Matt found for them wasn't a five-star Regent, but it was far better than the kind of roadside motel Ari could afford. And when he asked if she wanted separate rooms before they checked in, she answered him with a kiss that made words completely moot.
The past two days hadn't been all sunshine and rainbows, but even the hard parts were bearable with Matt beside her. Seeing all those photographs, running her fingers over Gideon's image, and knowing he'd called Mrs. Sanchez for years, made Ari believe more strongly than ever that they'd find him.
Just as she knew deep in her heart that Matt was so much more than a one-night stand.
His touch, his gaze--and especially his kisses--told her that she mattered to him. She loved the way he'd held her hand as they talked with Mrs. Sanchez, as if she belonged to him. As if he understood how badly she needed his solid presence beside her.
After seeing the pictures today, Ari was certain her brother had lost a woman he'd cared about deeply--and that it had devastated him. If Gideon had known how it all would end, would he have kept his heart safe? Or would he have fallen for Karmen anyway?
But Ari already knew the answer. Her brother would have risked his heart no matter what.
Just the way she was risking hers for Matt.
If it one day turned out that she'd misjudged Matt's feelings...well, she'd deal with it when she had to. But right now, all she wanted was to confirm the beauty of life by making love to him over and over, then falling asleep in his arms.
Their room had a king-size bed, a small sofa under a bay window, and a big bathtub. "I made sure they gave us the room with the largest tub available." He cupped her cheek, his lips so close to hers, his body warm, enticing. "Why don't you take a bath while I run a few errands?"
"Errands?" Instead of getting naked with her right this second?
He was planning something, and judging by the burn in his eyes, it had to be good. And he knew her well--a few minutes to decompress from the high emotions of their day would be nice.
"Yes." He kissed her for long, sweet moments, their breaths almost one. "Errands."
"And after your errands?" She let her heated question hang between them.
He gave her one more wicked smile--and a kiss so hot it started a fire inside of her--then left.
Slipping into lavender bathwater a few minutes later, she closed her eyes and went over everything she'd learned about her brother. When sorrow threatened, she pushed it away.
Close. She was so close. Not only to finding Gideon--but so much closer to Matt too.
Being with him like this was her dream come true, as well as everything Rosie and Chi had warned her she couldn't have. But they were wrong. She had it right now.
And she wasn't letting go.
Chapter Twenty-One
Ari had just climbed out of the bath when Matt returned. By the time she walked into the bedroom, wrapped only in
a thin bathrobe, she found him sitting on the small sofa, a bottle of champagne in an ice bucket and a plate covered with a cloth napkin on the coffee table in front of him.
He didn't say anything, just gazed at her with such heat she actually lost her breath. "Should I put on some clothes?"
"No."
Oh God, just one little two-letter word was enough to make her whole body tingle. She bit her lip, wishing she were experienced enough to know the next move to make. But then she remembered his hand engulfing hers as he sat beside her today, sharing her emotions, soothing her, simply being there, as if nothing else was more important than that moment--and everything eased.
"Come here." His deep voice was full of so much sinfully hot promise that her legs trembled as she crossed the room, the robe still tied tightly around her waist.
"Have some champagne."
He poured one glass for her, one for him. The burn in his gaze scorched her as she sipped, the bubbles going straight to her head.
His eyes followed her every move, lingering on her lips while she drank and tracking her when she set down the glass. "Good?"
She nodded, licking the sweetness from her lips.
"And about to get so much better," he murmured. "I'm going to make you feel so good you won't think of anything but my touch. My kiss. My body inside you. I want to help you to forget everything bad. Tonight there will be only this, us, together." He dropped his voice even lower. "Now take off your robe. Slowly."
As he leaned back, stretching his arms along the sofa, Ari's heart beat so hard she could feel the pulse in her fingertips. No one but Matt had looked at her as though she was the sexiest thing he'd ever seen and he wanted to devour every inch of her.
Instead of untying the robe's sash, she slowly slid the fabric off one shoulder, revealing the swell of one breast as well.
"Perfect."
God, his voice, that word, his eyes on her. She pushed the robe off her other shoulder, letting the thin terrycloth fall to the upper curves of her breasts. Turning her back to him, she glanced over her shoulder, then shrugged and the robe fell to her hips, leaving her naked to the waist.
"So pretty." His words were raw with need.