Chapter Twenty-Four
Chase
I felt like throwing my damn phone across the room when Hailey’s phone went straight to her voicemail for the nineteenth time.
Yeah, I’d been calling this girl like a freaking psycho for a whole day and still nothing. Not to mention the numerous text messages I’d sent her. I could understand she didn’t want to answer my calls after I’d drunk dialed her the other night—stupid move by the way—but did she really need to ignore me like this?
After the confrontation with Deuce and Heather, I felt like the final pieces of my life had started to line up. I was over Heather completely, but now I needed Hailey. She was that final piece that had been missing.
“She’s still not picking up,” I told Jonathan who was casually resting on the couch watching me with amusement. “I’ve called her nineteen times and she still hasn’t picked up her goddamn phone!”
“Why don’t you call her one more time and officially become her crazy-ass stalker?”
Ignoring him, I slammed my phone down on the table and slid into the chair at the desk. I was pissed off that Hailey was ignoring me, but I was more pissed at myself for letting the lie go
on for so long. I’d had so many chances to tell her the truth, but I never once did.
Now I was regretting keeping the truth from her. Now it was all coming back to bite me in the ass.
My reasons for keeping this from Hailey were kind of selfish. After I’d gotten close to her, it’d been amazing to see her so passionate about something when her entire life seemed to be so planned out. When she spoke about William C. Lancaster, her face would light up and her eyes would shine. And it made my stomach freak out to see her glow as she spoke about me, even if she didn’t know it was me she was talking about.
“Why do girls overreact to the tiniest thing?” I asked, trying to fight the urge to send her another message.
Jonathan shrugged as he typed something into his phone. “I don’t know, but I’m used to it now. I told you, with Tessa, I just keep my mouth shut and agree with whatever she says. It seems to work and I get lucky.”
“Be straight with me.” I focused on Jonathan. “Did I completely screw everything up?”
“Yeah, you kind of did. You have to see where she’s coming from when she says that your relationship is based on a lie.”
I did see where she was coming from, but what if I’d told her the truth and it’d completely ruined her passion for my music? What if she was disgusted by me? What if she never went to another one of my concerts ever again?
I hadn’t wanted to ruin that for her. I’d wanted to keep her oblivious to the truth for just a little longer. But after that kiss—after that goddamn kiss that made me want to punch something—I had to tell her the truth. Because after that kiss, I just knew. I knew it didn’t even matter if I was Chase or if I was William. This girl loved me. She was the most amazing thing to ever fall into my life, and she wanted me.
Sure, I could forget about Hailey and find someone else. Plenty of girls hung around after every show we did just dying to hook up, but I didn’t want that. I wasn’t that guy. I didn’t want to be that guy.
I wanted to be the guy for Hailey—the guy she deserved. I wanted her to be the only girl in my life. Sure, it was going to be hard. It was going to be so damn hard, but I didn’t want it any other way. We were so different from each other, but there was something about her that just called out to me. Something about her felt so right, even though she was so different to the other girls I’d been with before.
And that was enough for me. That tiny spark that lit up between us was enough for me to want to give us a chance. Because I couldn’t let her walk out of my life knowing that someone like her existed in this world.
I had to fight for her, and I had to convince her to give us a chance.
“Dude.” Jonathan’s voice snapped me from my thoughts and I glanced up to find him staring at his phone. “Tessa said that Hailey finishes her Economics class in ten minutes. You can actually go physically stalk her now.”
At his words, I jumped to my feet. “Are you messing with me?”
Jonathan shook his head. “I’m not messing with you. I just got sick of watching you walk around like some chick with emotional ovaries.”
That was kind of true. I’d been acting a little over the top in the last twenty-four hours. I needed a freaking reality check and to get myself under control.
“Thanks, man,” I said, because there weren’t the right words to really tell Jonathan how awesome he’d been lately about this whole thing.
He’d probably gotten sick of me talking about Hailey a long time ago, but instead of getting pissed at me, he’d helped me out instead. And I wasn’t going to waste this opportunity. I needed to find Hailey and tell her exactly how I felt about her and why I’d kept the truth from her.
“As long as we don’t have to sit around and eat ice cream and talk about our feelings, it’s fine with me.”
A smile spread across my face as I headed out the door and raced outside, weaving in and out of the crowds of people walking around me. A new sense of purpose filled me as I headed toward the building where Hailey’s Economics class was held.
There was no way I was going anywhere until Hailey heard me out. My head felt light when I caught sight of her approaching. She hadn’t noticed me yet and I was glad for the chance to study her without her knowing that I was there.
Hailey’s head was down, her face pale and her expression withdrawn as she slowly ambled in my direction, not realizing what was about to hit her. She was about to find out how stubborn I could be. As determined as she was to avoid me, I was twice as determined to confront her.
“Hailey.” I was surprised by how much control was actually in my voice. I felt like a complete wreck inside. I wanted to demand answers from her about how she could avoid me so easily, but I had to keep it together.
Her head jerked up and she stared at me like I was some sort of disease. Her mouth formed a tight line and she quickly folded her arms across her chest in a protective stance.
“Have you thought up some other way to humiliate me?”
Her tone was biting and made me take a step back. I didn’t want to overwhelm her; I just wanted to get through to her. She had to understand my reasons for doing what I did. She had to forgive me. Because I needed to be with this girl. If I wasn’t with her, then my life was never going to be the same again. I couldn’t be happy knowing that Hailey was in this world and she wasn’t with me.
“Listen to me,” I said, my voice calm and steady, “you need to know why I didn’t tell you the truth about who I really was—“
“Chase, you know what?” She cut me off, giving me a firm look. “I’m not interested in hearing any more lies from you. I can’t handle this today. Why don’t you just leave me alone?” A rush of emotion surged its way through my chest, and I unfolded her arms and pulled her towards me. “Because you’re the only goddamn thing I think about, Hailey. Ever since you kissed me, all I’ve wanted is you. We both know that we have something amazing between us, so why are we playing these games with each other? Yeah, I made a mistake. Well, that’s life, Hailey. People make mistakes all the time. Not everything can be perfect and planned out, but we can try. That’s all we can do. We can try to make this work if you let us.”
Hailey’s eyes grew wide and her expression softened as she gazed back at me. “Chase, I don’t-”
But suddenly, I wasn’t listening to a word she was saying. My fingers had brushed against her hands, and I stopped breathing. There was something on one of her fingers on her left hand, and as I slowly gazed down, my stomach sank like a rock. There was a ring on her finger. And it was fucking huge.
Tensing, I dropped her hands and took a step back as I started putting the pieces together.
“What the hell is that?” I pointed to her finger, but I alread
y knew what it was.
Hailey frowned and held out her hand as though it was going to poison her. “B-Braxton proposed.” Her tone had turned soft and she looked like she might break down into tears at any given second.
But none of that was really registering. All I saw was that fucking ring on her finger. It was having an effect on me like acid burning through my stomach.
“And you said yes.” My voice sounded distant and far away, like I was on some other planet and Hailey was a freaking alien. She must be. Why else would she agree to marry someone who wasn’t me?
“I-I did. But-” She stumbled over her words, clearly upset.
But what reason would she have to be upset? She’d just accepted her boyfriend’s proposal. Even after everything we’d been through together, all the ways we’d gotten under each other’s skin, she was still willing to be with someone else.
It was easy for her. It was easy for her to let go of me. So I had to let go too.
“Well,” I stalled, trying to think of what to say without sounding like a jerk. But I wanted to sound like a jerk. I wanted to rip that damn ring off her finger and talk some sense into her. But I had no right. I’d lied to her and she’d decided to shut me out of her life. “I hope you’ve found the guy you want to be with.”
Her bottom lip shook as she studied me with a lost look in those green eyes that I’d come to know so well. “I have found him.”
And that’s all I could hear. I couldn’t hear another damn word. I needed to walk away now before I completely lost it.
“Chase, wait!”
Not wanting to listen to another word that came out of her mouth, I blindly made my way back to my car. There was a weird buzzing in my head as I made the short drive back to the apartment, like I’d suddenly been hung upside down and all the blood had rushed to my brain. It was making it hard for me to think about anything else. All I could see was that huge rock on
Hailey’s finger.
How could she choose him over me? How could she just forget about our time together?
How could she move on when there were so many unresolved feelings between us?
And suddenly all those feelings hit me like a rush, and my mind overflowed with words and memories and mistakes. I was fucking angry but I was also upset and going a little insane over this girl.
Hailey made my life amazing—she challenged me, and irritated me, and made me laugh—and now she was gone, just like that. This shit was seriously messed up.
When I got back to the apartment, Jonathan wasn’t around and I was kind of glad to be alone, even if it was only for a little while. Walking over to the desk, I pulled out a sheet of paper and a pen, and collapsed into the chair.
My fingers flew across the page; I was unable to get the words down fast enough. Every single emotion I’d felt since I’d met Hailey spilled free. Heartbreak wasn’t what I’d experienced with my psycho ex; heartbreak was this.
Heartbreak was being shown glimpses of a future with someone you knew was right for you and then having everything ripped away before you even got a chance to be with them. That’s what heartbreak was, and that’s what losing Hailey was like.
I can feel you slipping away…