Hauk nodded and broke the twig in half. “I've sworn to protect her and my oath is as good as yours.”
“So I have your word.”
Hauk sighed. “Yes Tahdaon, you have my word.”
Satisfied with his response, Tahdaon turned to leave.
“Tahdaon,” Hauk said, his voice holding a warning that stopped Tahdaon dead in his tracks. “If you want to keep her safe then let your brother's fight for Dalgliesh. Leave the past in the past and focus on what you can accomplish here.”
“Trust me, that's exactly what I plan to do,” Tahdaon snarled, leaving Hauk staring after him.
He had never been very good at making friends and that was about as good as it got.
Hauk would keep his promise, and Tahdaon had put just enough doubt in Hauk's mind concerning Edmund, that he would be on guard around the weasel from now on.
One goal accomplished.
The second would be harder to take care of.
Walking down the hill towards the lake, Tahdaon tore off his clothes and jumped into the icy waters.
But even as the frigid water sliced at his body, Tahdaon couldn't stop the salacious images that came unsought.
It was going to take more than a cold bath to cool the heat in his groin.
Chapter 10
The arrival of Lord Tomias' wife, Lady Amber, and her brood of children set the summer house into a frenzy. By the month's end, the estate had been overrun with uncles and aunts, grandparents and cousins. Children ran through the corridors like wild dogs. Servants whisked around the halls in a whirlwind of activity, and every room in the house was filled to its maximum capacity.
Cara held back as Lord Tomias welcomed another guest into his overcrowded home. Her head was throbbing as she tried to remember the names and titles of Cush's relatives. She recognized a few faces from the banquets that had followed the dedication ceremony, but she had been too preoccupied at the time with Maeve to familiarize herself with those in attendance.
A small sticky hand tugged on her dress, and Cara looked down to find Cush's youngest brother Loc watching her with a mischievous grin.
Tomias and Amber's children shared many of the same features as Cush, but none as much as Loc, and Cara imagined that Cush had looked quite similar when he was four years old.
Reaching down, she brushed the tawny ringlets out of the boy's eyes.
She had never spent much time around children. Even when she was a child herself she tended to shy away from those her own age. Yet for some reason Loc had taken an immediate liking to her, and since his arrival he had never been far from Cara's side.
“What trouble are you up to today?” she asked, bending down so that they were eye to eye.
“I found a treasure,” Loc whispered loudly. “Wanna see?”
“A treasure?” Cara exclaimed, covering her mouth and trying not to giggle as he shushed her.
“You can't tell anyone,” Loc stated adamantly.
“It will be our secret,” she said, mirroring his serious expression. “Will you show me?”
Loc's face lit up and he nodded fervently.
He grabbed her hand and began pulling her towards the back of the house and through the courtyard until they reached a grove of oak trees.
“You promise not to tell?” Loc asked, his tiny face pursed in somber deliberation.
Cara nodded and tried her best not to smile. “I promise.”
Satisfied with her answer, he scurried over to a large hollowed out stump and pointed inside. “Look.”
Worried what might be in the hole, she hesitated. Snakes and dead rodents were as much a treasure to a four-year old boy as gold and silver were to a king.
Taking a tentative step, she peeked carefully over the hollowed out stump and held her breath.
“Aren't they amazing?” Loc said, reaching in to pick up a small carefully carved figurine.
They were amazing. Cara stared in awe at the intricately designed wooden army. Someone had carefully whittled and glazed the small soldiers with such precision and detail that Cara gasped at the beauty of them.
“How did you find them?”
“The big dog man told me they were here.”
“The big dog man?” Cara asked, confused.
“The big mean dog man you came with,” Loc said, looking at her as if she was simple in the head. “But, I don't think he's as mean as Ardon and Eron say he is.”
Cara frowned at the boy's description of Tahdaon. It was obvious he had heard his brothers use the derogatory term. It wasn't like Loc to speak unkindly about anyone.
“You shouldn't call him that.”
“Why?”
“Because it's not nice to call people names. It would hurt his feelings.”
Loc looked down at the figurines and frowned. “I don't want to hurt his feelings.”
Cara smiled and ruffled his hair. She reached into the hole and picked up one of the soldiers. “You're right Loc. This is quite a treasure.”
He beamed up at her. “Do you think I can keep it?”
“You found it so I think the treasure's yours.”
Loc shrieked in delight.
“Here,” she said, handing him a handkerchief that she pulled from her bodice. “Wrap them carefully in this and then you can carry them back to your room.”
He did as she said and Cara watched as he scampered off towards the house, taking great pride not to drop his new toys.
Cara signed and spoke out loud, “Tahdaon you never cease to surprise me.”
He was as much a mystery to her now as he had been the first day they met. The man was still withdrawn and bad-tempered, but over the past few weeks there had been moments like this when she had seen a glimpse of something softer behind his mask of indifference. She shook her head at the paradox he presented.
Cara froze and listened at the sound of shouting in the distance. She recognized the voices immediately. Her heart hammering in her ears, she moved through the shadows of the trees until she found its source.
At the bottom of the hill near the lake's edge, Finn held Helfrich by the collar of his shirt, his face red with anger.
Helfrich held up both hands in surrender and mumbled something Cara couldn't hear.
“Do you think I don't know that?” Finn bellowed, shoving Helfrich away. “I know the rules and the law just as well as you do.”
Finn paced the rocky shoreline and Cara's heart clenched at the pain she heard beneath his angry words. Pain that she had caused.
Helfrich spoke again and Finn's eyes darkened. By his posture, Cara thought Finn would attack again, but instead of charging at Helfrich, he tuned and stormed up the hill towards the stables.
“Coward,” Helfrich yelled at him.
Cara blew out a frustrated breath.
Everything had changed the day Finn had found her with Helfrich.
Finn had made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with her anymore. When she had tried to talk to him, to explain what had happened with Helfrich, he had coldly told her that she was free to do what she wanted. She had heard the undercurrent in his words. She was free to do whatever she wanted, as long as she stayed away from him.
Helfrich had been different with her as well. Their usual easy banter had become forced.
They were both being fools, and she had been the biggest one of all. She had allowed her curiosity to destroy her relationship with both men.
Cara had never felt so alone.
Even Maeve, who had made incredible progress since she had been under Lord Tomias' care, had become trapped in a darkness that Cara couldn't penetrate. In the last week, she had even refused to see Reyn, and Cara worried that although her cousin would heal from her physical injuries, she might never recover emotionally from the hell she had experienced.
Disheartened, she leaned against a giant oak and closed her eyes.
“He'll get over himself,” a low growl sounded behind her.
Cara jumped at the sound and cursed as she
raised a hand to her heart.
Tahdaon didn't apologize for his intrusion or for scaring the living daylights out of her; he merely stalked towards her with his catlike gait and stood next to her.
“He's a fool, but he cares for you,” Tahdaon said, his voice gruff. “Most men don't like sharing their woman, especially when their hearts are involved.”
She stared up at him in shock.
He knew about Helfrich. She could see it in his face.
Did the others know as well?
Her cheeks went hot in embarrassment. She was such an idiot. She couldn't even imagine what the other men would think of her if they knew Finn and Helfrich were fighting, and that she had caused it.
“Relax,” he said, as if reading her mind. “I was here that day and saw what happened. No one else knows.”
“You saw?” she squeaked, feeling even more humiliated. She closed her eyes and covered her face with both hands.
Keeping her hands plastered over her eyes, Cara waited for his ridicule, but he stayed silent.
Minutes passed and Tahdaon still didn't move or speak.
Finally, she moved her hands and forced herself to look at him.
He was leaning against an oak tree, arms crossed, watching her, and the heat in his gaze was scorching.
She tried to speak, but found it difficult to breathe. Her skin tingled, and the very air seemed to sizzle with tension.
His dark hair, which was longer now, had been recently washed and brushed back from his face. Cara noticed a small scar that cut through his right brow, an injury that had come perilously close to damaging his eye. A week's worth of scruff shadowed his handsome face and hid the raised scar that traced his jaw. The sun caught his face when he tilted his head, and Cara noted the dark brown spot in the corner of his left iris that marred his blue eyes. They were characteristics that would have made Finn or Helfrich look unkempt, but on Tahdaon it only added to the aura of power that surrounded him. The image was heightened by his tightly coiled muscles and elevated stature.
She could kick herself for the thoughts that entered her head as she watched him. She had enough trouble already; she didn't need to add another man into the mix. But as she watched his eyes roam over her body the way Finn's had once done, she couldn't stop the slow burn that infused her.
She licked her lips as a wave of desire pulsed through her.
In a heartbeat he was on her, his hands plastered on either side of her body. His face inches from hers.
Cara gasped in surprise, but instead of kissing her like she expected, he pushed away abruptly and let out a string of curses.
Confused by his outburst, and not knowing what she had done wrong, Cara blinked back tears of embarrassment.
With his back still turned, she heard his ragged breath as he tried to control himself.
“I'm sorry if I did something to upset you,” she said weakly.
He turned back towards her and raked his fingers through his hair. “You can't look at a man like that and not expect him to want to rip your clothes off.”
Cara sucked in a breath at his explicit words.
“Oh,” she mouthed.
He took a step towards her and stopped.
“You want my advice?” His voice was harsh.
Cara hesitated. She didn't know if she did or not. Finally, she responded, “yes.”
He frowned and scratched his chin before answering. “Go to Finn. Let him love you the way you want to be loved.”
It wasn't what she had expected him to say. “He doesn't want me. He's made it perfectly clear.”
Tahdaon grunted, “He wants you. No man in his right mind wouldn't. But the man's a stubborn mule. He needs to know you want him too.”
Cara frowned. “Why are you telling me this?”
He shook his head and shrugged.
“And Helfrich?” she asked.
“That depends on you. Do you want him?”
“Does it even matter anymore?”
He arched a brow at her and his voice seemed strained. “You really don't get it do you?”
He didn't explain what he meant and Cara couldn't force herself to ask.
Silence hung heavy between them. She looked up at thick tangle of branches overhead and let out an elongated breathe. Nothing was simple anymore.
A sudden burst of wind stirred the tree tops and she shuddered.
“Come on, let's get you back in the house,” Tahdaon commanded.
She stiffened at the dominance in his voice. “I think I'll stay here for a moment.”
His gaze darkened and he looked down his nose at her. “I don't want you out here unattended. You saw how easily I came upon you. You put yourself in danger walking alone.”
Apprehension tightened her chest as he vocalized her fears. Since Edmund's threats, she had constantly been looking over her shoulder worried that he would attack again. He was right. She was foolish to be out here by herself.
He made a low guttural sound deep in his throat that conveyed his annoyance. “Go on. I'll follow behind.”
When she reached the clearing, she turned to thank him, but he had disappeared.
Chapter 11
“Cassie stop cavorting about and help me with Cara's dress,” Lady Amber chided, shaking her head as her daughter pranced and twirled around them.
Unfazed by her mother's reprimand, Cassie flung herself on Cara's bed and laughed. “Isn't it exciting? Your first moon ceremony. It seems like all of Lydd has come to join in the celebration.”
Cara managed a smile, but her heart wasn't in it.
At sundown the festival of the first wheat harvest would commence, and Cara would observe the required rituals that would further bind her to Cush and the province of Lydd. She had made similar vows on the altar of Annul, but this festival would secure her ties to the province in the presence of both the Lyddian nobility and peasantry. Tonight they would join together in a display of unity and worship and appeal to Annul to bestow her favor on them.
“What do you think it will feel like?” Cassie asked, her eyes bright with excitement. “To have Annul dwell inside you?”
Cara shrugged and looked down at the floor.
“It's all right to be nervous,” Cush's mother said softly, securing a gem-encrusted brooch to the front of Cara's ceremonial garment.
“Are you afraid?” Cassie asked, jumping from the bed and taking Cara's hands in her own. “I think I would be terrified to have so many people watching me.”
“Cassie!” Lady Amber exclaimed.
“What? It's true. I've never seen so many people before,” Cassie stated.
The girl was wrong, but Cara didn't correct her. It wasn't the ceremony she was most concerned about or the large crowds that had gathered to take part in the festival. What she was most terrified of was what would happen after the ritual binding was over, when she would be left alone with Cush and expected to make a choice to accept or refuse him as a lover.
The choice was daunting, and she still didn't know what she was going to do.
If I deny him, will I make an enemy of Cush and his family? It was that one thought that she struggled the most with.
Almost a full month had passed since Cara and the men had arrived at Tomias' summer house, and the resources he had promised them had been secured. The preparation was complete, and they were scheduled to leave for Crowthorne in two days. It was only because of the Viceroy's generosity that they would do so in comfort.
Lord Tomias had the power to take everything away. Worse, if she angered him, he could betray Maeve's life, and have her taken into custody. She didn't believe it was in the Viceroy's nature to use finances or secrets against his enemies, but she had been deceived before, and it wasn't a chance she wanted to take.
She would do anything to secure Maeve's protection. But giving her virginity to Cush seemed a high price to pay.
She tried to still her resentment, as Cassie continued babbling incoherently. In many ways Cara was just as inn
ocent and inexperienced as Cush's sister, but Cara didn't have the luxury of being as self-absorbed as the girl clearly was.
I should have listened to Tahdaon.
Perhaps she should have done what he had said and gone to Finn. If she had allowed him to take her and teach her, maybe then she wouldn't have so much trepidation about performing the act with Cush. She doubted her reasoning, but still she wondered.
Lady Amber looked at her expectantly, and Cara's cheeks turned red in embarrassment as she realized the older woman had been speaking to her.
“Sorry, I'm afraid my mind is elsewhere,” Cara confessed.
Lady Amber smiled kindly at her and handed her a glass. “Drink this. It will help you relax.”
Cara sniffed at the sweet smelling liquor, tilted her back and drained the contents. She cringed at the strong taste, but the burning sensation soon turned to a warmth that spread throughout her body.
Lady Amber took the cup and patted her hand affectionately. “Cassie, let's leave Cara so she can rest.”
“But maybe she doesn't want to rest,” Cassie whined.
“Cassie,” Lady Amber said in an exasperated tone, and then looked back at Cara. “I will come and get you when it's time.”
Cara could almost cry in gratitude for the woman's thoughtfulness.
When the women had taken their leave, Cara, careful not to wrinkle her dress or mess her hair, laid down on her bed. Folding her hands over her stomach, she closed her eyes and tried to settle her mind.
Her thoughts drifted to her mother. She had been gone so many years, and Cara could barely remember her face, but she desperately wished that she could talk to her now. What would she say? What advice would she give? Would she be proud of Cara for the choices she had made?
It was no use speculating. She was alone, and her choices and the consequences they brought were on head and hers alone.
* * *
“Great Mother, join your daughter,
In the land you have loved,
Annul, be reborn, in the shelter of your womb,
Sacred flame, Grant forgiveness,
Cleanse our hearts, Heal our lands.”
The Lyddian priestess chanted over her, and Cara shivered as their voices merged and vibrated through her.