“Are they in the city or closer to home?”
“For now they’re closer to home. I’ll have to give up my apartment because it’s considered student housing. I really don’t want to look for a place to live and start a new career at the same time, so I figured staying with my parents until I get my feet on the ground is better.”
She gasped. Speaking of feet, theirs just touched the water.
The cool water skimmed his arches. He wanted to keep her distracted.
“Do you think you’ll miss the city?”
“Yes and no.”
He pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her waist so that her back was to his chest and his chin rested on her warm, soft hair. They simply swayed together and he gloried in how wonderfully she filled his arms.
“There are a lot of things I despise about the city.”
“Like?”
“The noise, the pollution, the people who are perpetually rude like it’s their birth right.”
He chuckled and moved them forward a smidge. Her shoulders tensed, but he didn’t acknowledge her apprehension. His arms crossed over her bare belly, his left hand resting on her right hip and vise-versa. He massaged her skin lightly.
“Was the school you student taught at in the city?”
“Um…” She answered as if it were a difficult question, likely she was having a hard time with their position. The water crested their feet and was now just below mid-calf. “I…what?”
“The school you did your student teaching at, was it in the city?”
“Oh. Yes.”
“Where about?”
Her breathing became slightly labored but nothing like the other day when she suffered a panic attack. With every brush of his fingertips along her skin, her body seemed to relax into his by small degrees.
“With traffic it was about twenty minutes from campus.”
“And how far is campus from home?”
“About forty minutes. It’s mostly highway, but then you get into the city and it takes forever.”
He nudged her forward a step and asked, “Are you considering applying to that school?”
“Yes. They already have my resume and I have a good rapport with the faculty there.”
“How far would a commute be from there to home?”
“Probably about thirty minutes, because it’s not as ensconced in the city as my apartment.”
A light breeze danced across the surface. Branches swayed slowly and he was mesmerized by the way Samantha’s skin prickled from her shoulders to her neck leaving a dusting of goose bumps. The water was warmer than most times of the year, but still cool over their skin. He kissed the side of her neck.
“I think you’ll be a wonderful teacher.”
She grew quiet and he wondered what she was thinking about.
Finally she said, “And you’ll be a great priest.”
His mouth opened and he hesitated. Shutting his eyes, he said, “I hope so.”
“You will. You have this calming quality about you. It’s enchanting. Between that and your looks I imagine your female parishioners will be so up in arms it’ll be worse than the tales of Father Ralph de Bricassart from the Thorn Birds.”
“And are you to be my Meggie? The woman that haunts my dreams and owns a piece of me God will never have?”
She stepped out of his embrace and turned to face him. “No, Colin. Meggie led a tragic life and I won’t sentence myself to such a fate. She was the thorn bird that sang only once then bludgeoned her heart as a price for that short song. When you give yourself to the church, give all of you. It’s torture to emotionally be in two places at once. True love is a complete surrender without regret or ever looking back. You’ll be marrying the church and that’s where your heart must lie, same as I’ll someday give my heart over to my husband without reserve. I’ll never forget our time here, but I plan to work damn hard to. I can’t put myself through a lifetime of wanting what I’ll never have. I will not ‘pierce my breast for the glory of one song’ that’ll never be sung back to me.”
He brushed a wisp of hair away from her face. She was so reasonable yet somehow had an incredibly romantic soul.
“I’ll always envy the man that marries you, Sammy. I’ll confess it first among all sins until the day I die. I know I shouldn’t, but the heart is a muscle with reflexes of its own that we have no control over. You will always be my one thing left unfinished, the masterpiece that slipped away.”
She gazed up at him with slightly trembling shoulders. He wondered if she shook, not because of her fear of the water, but because the reality of his words. He hadn’t lied. He’d never forget her. She was the first and only woman he had ever cared for to such a degree. He needed her then in such a way it shook him to his core.
Slowly leaning down, so not to break the emotionally laden moment, he pressed his mouth to hers. Their bodies touched only at their lips as he sipped from her. Her small tongue skated over his lower lip and he smiled. He had never imagined kissing to be so intoxicating.
Slowly, she took a small step closer to him and her breasts pressed into his chest. Under the inconsequential scraps of fabric, her pebbled nipples gently stabbed into his skin. His arms wrapped tightly around her and the kiss intensified, picking up speed and overflowing with need.
Her body tipped back as he deepened the kiss. He somehow managed to lower her to the ground and settled himself on top of her. She gasped. Cool water crossed their sun kissed thighs and electrified his senses. Her shorts became wet, forming a film over her skin, and sand clumped to their flesh like grits of glue. They were only at the bank, sitting upon the water’s edge, so when he eased her back the ripples of the lake lapped at her hips, but left her shoulders dry.
Dark hair spiraled around her face like a dark halo, small flecks of yellow sand interrupting the solid chestnut sheen. He tugged at the string around her neck and watched as her top came loose. Raising her arms above her head, she knotted her fingers together and rested them in the sand. He pulled both sides of the string toward her belly, flipping the cups covering her breasts back, exposing two tightly puckered nipples.
In her position, her breasts appeared less full then they had earlier that day when she’d leaned over the counter of the sink. They seemed smaller, but still magnificently feminine. He brought his hand to her flesh and cupped her breast, granules of sand creating a friction that wasn’t there before. Instinctively he bowed his head and sucked one tight nipple into his mouth.
Samantha moaned and arched farther into his touch. She tasted fresh yet salty. So close to her skin he could smell the fragrant lotion she had used earlier. His other hand found her other breast and cupped it firmly from the soft underside. He dragged his thumb back and forth over the turgid tip.
Sucking her nipple deeper in his mouth, he lightly held it between his teeth as he drew his tongue back and forth over the fleshy nub. She squirmed beneath him and he switched his attention to her other nipple.
Colin kissed and suckled and licked at her flesh until she was a fury of confused moans and movement. Sammy’s slow motions became frantic as though she longed for that satisfying end, but also didn’t want the pleasure to stop. Garbled words of love left her lips.
His body heated to such degrees he could no longer feel the heat of the sun. He was the sun, a fire burning so intensely for this woman beneath him he feared he’d burst into a million pieces and never be able to put himself back together again. She was changing him and once changed, certain parts of him would never be the same.
His mouth crashed down upon hers and he kissed her with the magnified intensity of a million emotions colliding into one. He loved her. He loved her in a way that rivaled even his love for the Holy Father. His body shook, and she suddenly pushed against him and he rolled onto his back.
With quick little movements she climbed upon his body and straddled his hips. Her mouth found his again and their potent kiss continued. As her knees sank firmly into the sand on eit
her side of him, their bodies molded to one another’s. She rocked her hips over him. Their bodies were sealed so tightly together, that if not for their clothing, he would be inside of her.
At the thought of entering her, his entire being shivered. Would she be warm? Soft? Wet? She rode him as she kissed him with so much passion it was as if she could no longer contain it all.
A fire in my heart, imprisoned in my bones; I grow weary of holding it in.
As she dragged her pelvis over his, something shifted inside of him. It was as though she cradled his erection in her hands, every movement sending sensations splintering through him, igniting every nerve. Her touch singed him in such an addictive way he never wanted her to stop. The warmth of her core penetrated her shorts and his. Like tiny fingers tickling his shaft, squeezing, pressing, dragging, she gripped him with her core. He was going to ejaculate. He should stop her, but all common sense vanished.
He gripped her hips so tight he feared he’d leave bruises. His eyes rolled back as he dragged her faster and faster over his hardness. Her head tipped and she sat taller, allowing just the right amount of pressure to give him the most pleasure. He moaned and she cried out. Their breath had become a tribal beat building in tempo and pitch, a ceaseless tattoo, escalating to introduce some grand moment.
Through half closed eyes he watched her heavy breasts sway with each move and it was that vision that threw him over the edge. His muscles locked as his shoulders rose off the sand beneath him. Warm jets of semen poured out of him and coated his thigh. Samantha cried out again as she too found release. Their bodies trembled as one and she collapsed across his chest as breath sawed out of his lungs and blood rushed like wind in his ears.
After a few minutes of simply basking in the afterglow of such an intense climax, she finally admitted, “That was the most incredible experience I’ve probably ever had.”
He kissed her temple. “You’re stunning when you find release. So open and free. It’s what I imagine bliss looks like.”
She smiled, her lips pulling against his chest. She placed a kiss there. “I hate to say it, but I think the others will be getting home soon. It’s almost time for dinner.”
He sighed. “We should probably start heading back.”
Colin didn’t want to go back. He didn’t feel like being around his family. He only wanted Samantha, in his arms, touching his body, conversing for hours on end about nothing and everything under the sun. Damn it all, that their clandestine relationship had to be hidden. Colin wanted to have the right to shamelessly touch her and kiss her whenever the need struck him.
They would return to the house and pretend they were nothing more than polite acquaintances. His brother would have more right to touch her than he. He was suddenly furious with their situation. Not wanting Samantha to detect his stormy mood he nudged her to his side and stood.
“I’m going to take a quick dip to clean up. I’ll be right back.”
The water cooled his temper, but he still wasn’t looking forward to joining the others. As he strode out of the water he caught Sammy with a peculiar grin on her face. Her smile, whatever it was for, was infectious and lightened his mood substantially.
“What are you smirking at?”
“This,” she said sitting on her bottom, feet directly in front of her, and her knees drawn up to her chest. Her palms pattered the shallow inch of water beneath her making soft splashing sounds. She had remained in the water while he swam.
Colin’s grin grew to a full, proud smile. “Well, look at you.”
“I didn’t even realize I was still sitting here until you were gone for about five minutes. Then out of habit I prepared to stand up, but I realized I wasn’t feeling scared or panicky so I stayed and watched you swim.”
His heart pinched with pride. “That’s wonderful, Samantha.”
She grinned at him and they had a moment of quiet reverence for the small, yet enormous accomplishment she’d made. To an outsider it would appear meaningless and laughable, but he knew to Samantha it was like a wall coming down. He understood she’d done more today than she’d been able to do in the past ten years and he was immeasurably proud of her small but incredible victory.
Chapter Twelve
After returning to the house Colin and Samantha slipped passed the others somewhat unnoticed. Luke and Finn were cleaning fish out front while the others helped with other preparations for dinner or disappeared upstairs to get washed up. Colin offered to let Sammy shower first while he remained in the kitchen small talking with his father about the fishing trip and cleaning corn. A while later he went upstairs to shower as well.
As he was drying off he heard the rumble of a masculine voice coming from Samantha’s room followed by her softer tone. He paused to listen and realized it was Braydon.
“I’d rather not put myself through another night of Jen Miller giving me the stink eye as she hangs all over you,” Samantha said.
“She probably won’t even be there, Sam. Come on. We always go to O’Malley’s on Saturday nights. Everyone’s going.”
“Including Jen Miller.”
“Don’t be jealous. I know we haven’t had a whole lot of time together, but you could’ve come on the boat today.”
She scoffed. “Braydon, I am not jealous. I just don’t like being made to look the fool.”
“Well, you could always keep me company so that Jen doesn’t get the opportunity to sneak in,” his brother said in a cajoling voice that made Colin frown.
There was some shuffling around and Colin scowled at the door.
“Braydon, don’t,” Samantha said in a patient but stern voice.
“Come on, Sam. We barely spent any time together since we got here. There’s still a while ‘til dinner. Let’s enjoy it.”
Colin pulled in a furious, tight breath and ground his teeth together. He considered busting into the room and interrupting them, but he was still in his towel and his near naked appearance in front of a guest would make Braydon suspicious.
“Braydon, I said I don’t feel like it.”
His brother sighed. “Fine. Will you be upset if I go out tonight?”
“Do what you want. It’s your vacation too.”
“Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?”
Samantha sighed. “No. I’m just tired. I didn’t sleep much last night and I’m cranky. Go to O’Malley’s tonight. Have fun. We’ll catch up later.”
A few minutes later when Colin heard the bedroom door click closed and the sound of Sammy’s soft footfalls moving around, he tapped on the bathroom door and peeked in. She was standing in the center of the room with her head flipped over, tying her hair into some sort of knot.
“Hey,” he greeted softly so not to startle her.
She stood, her hair flipping back in an arc of brown. When she smiled at him he fought the urge to kiss her. It would be wise to avoid contact with the family so close by and dinner only a few minutes away.
“Hey.”
“You okay? I heard you and Braydon talking.”
She made an expression that told him she found the whole situation unfortunate. “Yeah. I should really talk to him, I tried, but he doesn’t seem to be listening. There’s this part of me that knows whatever we have going will fade by next month with him here and me back at school. Come fall he’ll be back in class and I’ll be teaching my own. I don’t see the point in hurting him and it isn’t like I can use you as an excuse.”
No, it would be best if she kept his name out of it. Their situation was temporary, but the others were not. They all saw him as a son, a brother, and a priest devoid of any sexuality. It would confuse his family to imagine him as anything else. If his mother found out, she would second guess his path, and he knew he was doing what he needed to do by joining the church. The energy it would take to explain this thing with Samantha to all of them and convince them he was still intending to take his vows was a daunting hypothetical he preferred to avoid.
Rather than say as
much, say what she already knew, Colin said, “I think Bray understands how you feel more now than he did yesterday. He’s still your friend, Sammy. If you wanted to go to O’Malley’s I would understand.” But he wouldn’t enjoy her being there with Braydon instead of here with him.
“I know, but I don’t want to go. I meant what I said about seeing him with Jen. I swear I’m not jealous, but because I’m here with Braydon and he does nothing to stop her, he makes me look like a fool. He can do what he wants, but I’m not going to come out with claws over a boy I’m really not interested in, nor am I going to sit there and look like a pathetic doormat. He can take her to bed for all I care, so long as he isn’t flaunting it in front of me and the rest of the family.”
“They have a past, that’s all, Sammy. He isn’t doing it to be hurtful or disrespectful.”
“I know. Maybe their history isn’t as much in the past as they thought. Maybe they need to work some things out. I don’t want to stand in the way either. If he likes Jen he should go after her.”
“Are you always this level headed?”
She smiled. “I giggled like a toddler in a tub today because I sat in two inches of water. You know I’m not of complete sound mind in all matters.”
“You should have giggled. I wanted to. It was a great thing you did today. Don’t minimize it by acting like it wasn’t. I’m proud of you.”
She blushed. “Thanks.”
Like two silly teenagers they watched each other with bashful modesty.
Finally Samantha said, “You better go get dressed. It’s almost time to eat.”
Later that night after the others had gone off to O’Malley’s, and Maureen and Frank disappeared to bed, Colin sat in the den forcing himself to read one more chapter of a book he was too distracted to even remember the title of. It was all gibberish to him anyway.
Sammy was tired. After dinner she had helped the others straighten up and then grabbed a book off a shelf in the den and said goodnight, claiming she had a bit of a headache. Colin’s mother doted over her for a few minutes and then left her to rest. He’d given Samantha a look that promised he’d be up to wake her once the others were all occupied elsewhere. His parents were likely settled in bed by now and the house was quiet, but he needed to wait a little longer.