“In other news, Jasmine Collins CEO of Jasmine Enterprises died in her sleep in the early hours of this morning at her Cambridgeshire home. She had been diagnosed with a grade two brain tumour. She took the cosmetics industry by storm at the age of nineteen and established one of the leading companies across the world. Jasmine Collins who died Jasmine Jenson aged twenty-nine years old had taken leave from the company last October, no statement was given as to why but it is to be believed one of the most private women in the world had fallen in love and wanted to spend time with a Christopher Jenson who she married two weeks before Christmas. What will happen now to Jasmine Enterprises? Here is Steven Glover with expert advice and had worked personally with Jasmine Jenson…”
I tuned out after that, I knew what was going to happen to her company I didn’t need to hear them analyse it. I remember Jas and her lawyers discussing it a few months ago and on this day a press conference will be called and the press would get their story.
No matter how many times she talked about her business I was still amazed at how much she had accomplished and how much she had separated herself from it because she wanted to spend time with me. I sat back in the chair ignoring the tumbler and grabbed the bottle, there wasn’t enough alcohol in the world to numb the pain in my chest but I was going to give it a good try. I sat for hours not knowing what to think, what to say or do, so I sat still not moving, sometime later another bottle of whiskey was on the table and I swapped it for my empty one.
The days between Jasmines death and her funeral were a drunken blur, I didn’t want to be in her house constantly reminded of her everywhere I looked but at the same time I couldn’t make myself leave. I am man enough to admit I locked myself away and cried for five days. The night before the funeral my mum had taken all the alcohol out of the house so I wouldn’t be drunk for the service.
In less than two hours I would have to bury my wife. For the first time since she died I was welcoming the sleep that was beginning to invade my body, until Jase came in and found me laying fully clothed in the empty bath tub, I couldn’t face laying in her bed knowing she wasn’t going to be joining me. He had been a good friend the last few days, when the whiskey ran dry he was there with another bottle; he would sit and say nothing, just being here for me. Her death had affected him more than he was letting on, my Jas had that effect on people and she didn’t even know it.
“Right, get out of the bath. You need a shower and a shave, your suit is hanging up in the other room, you need to be sober when you walk downstairs mate.” He said switching on the shower for me.
Apart from my wedding day today was the second time I had seen him in a full suit and tie.
“I can’t do it.” I said closing my eyes.
“Yes you can and you will. I promised her I would get you through this and so here I am sober for her to help you. So get dressed, go to the church and after if you want to get comatose drunk I will be here to look out for you,” He said.
I nodded and got out of the bath, he left closing the door behind him.
By the time I made it downstairs everyone was waiting in the kitchen all in black. My mum came over and began straightening my tie, it felt too tight, like it was choking me.
“Did you get any sleep last night?” She asked frowning at the dark shadows under my eyes.
I continued staring out of the window ignoring her. It was reassuring to see them grieving, it showed I wasn’t on my own but that didn’t mean I wanted to share our grief. I escaped outside letting the bitter coldness cover me, waking me from the fog that had descended five days ago. I heard the door open and close, I didn’t bother to see who it was, and no doubt they were only coming out to see me. I would let them find me.
“I had to get out of there.” I said as Alex came and stood next to me.
“I understand, Jas wouldn’t be happy with the atmosphere in there.” He said.
Out of everyone Alex was the only one who could joke with Jasmine about dying, he wasn’t being malicious that was his way of coping; he was the same when our dad left us.
“I’m here for you bro, you are not on your own,” He said squeezing my shoulder.
“Thanks. It is too hard, I feel like I can’t breath.” I finally said tugging on my tie.
“I’m not going to tell you everything will be okay because the way you love her I don’t think you will ever get over it but in time you will be able to breathe again.” He said.
I would have told him I highly doubted it but I kept my mouth shut and nodded.
I heard the cars before I saw them. This was it. When I walk around the corner she will be there, lying in a wooden box. I let out a heavy breath and prepared myself to say goodbye to the only girl I have ever and will ever love.
Nothing could have prepared me for when we arrived at the church, there had to have been over two hundred people congregated outside, they all stopped to stare when they saw us.
Jas would never have believed there were this many people here to pay their respects to her.
I could see some of my relatives and friends but the rest I didn’t know.
Jenna came over and offered her condolences, she stopped to talk to Henry, I guess they knew each other well. Jas had not wanted me to carry her coffin into the church; this was one wish I wouldn’t keep to her. After I walked out that day when she was arranging her funeral, I had caught Mr Brown as he was leaving and arranged for myself and three others to act as pallbearers only needing him to arrange two others to help. I would hold my Jas one last time before all I had was my memories. I made myself look busy listening to how and where to hold the coffin so no one would approach me. They started heading into the church, Henry, Alex, Jase and I stayed by the hearse. Once we had the coffin in place on our shoulders we preceded into the church.
“Trust Jasmine to get the heaviest one.” Alex said trying to adjust the coffin on his shoulder.
“Wouldn’t expect anything less, ay Jas?” Jase added looking up. Looking up at what I don’t know, she wasn’t up there.
Nobody understood why she liked the best of everything, they thought just because she was rich she went for the expensive things because she could but I knew better, I knew the real Jasmine, deep down she wasn’t a billionaire CEO she was a girl who wanted to have a normal life and be loved.
When we walked into the church everyone stood and stared, some smiled at the design of Jasmines coffin. It was mainly black with the Jasmine Enterprises logo in a hot pink colour on the lid and around the sides; even I could see the funny side of it. It was who she was.
I don’t know how I made it to the front of the church, my legs were numb and I was petrified I would drop her. We laid her on the table and took our seats. Jasmine had chosen white Jasmine flowers to be placed around her coffin, it immediately reminded me of our wedding. The vicar began his speech about Jasmines life and about what she had accomplished, she hadn’t spoke with the vicar personally, which surprised me as she had done everything else her self. By the time he begun reading a poem she had chosen I blocked out his voice, I didn’t want to hear anymore. The service was too long; it felt like I had been sitting here for three days. Hearing the sobs coming from behind me was unbearable, I knew Jas would hate knowing they were crying for her especially her mother who sat centre pew on the other side to us, and her sobs were uncontrollable. She was making me angry; I had seen the real Lizzie and how she acted with Jas. I let the original pallbearers carry her coffin back to the hearse ready to be driven to the cemetery, doing the grave side thing was the part I was dreading the most, seeing her coffin be lowered into the ground made it final. No one said a word during the short drive; there wasn’t anything to be said. None of it seemed real, she was always trying to prepare me, always reminding me this day would come where as I would do my best to pretend it wasn’t happening. As soon as the car stopped I jumped out of the car needing to feel the cold air on my skin. The crowd seemed to be following someone in a certain direction so we followed them. The sooner th
is was over the better.
The next thing I knew a small wooden box with dirt in it was being held in front of me, I grabbed a handful of its contents and stepped closer to where Jas had been lowered and released the dirt over her.
Eventually everyone left leaving the people in Jas’s life that mattered to her.
“Come on son, let’s get back to the house.” I could hear my mother’s words but I wasn’t ready to leave her just yet.
“You go, I will wait here.” I said.
“It is okay Fi I will wait with him.” Jase told her.
She trusted him so she left wrapped in Henrys embrace. Even though I heard him say he would wait for me he gave me space and walked away. Alex and Nat’s hushed words made me look up, I don’t know what they could be arguing about today of all days but it seemed Nat won as she slowly walked towards me.
“Alex said today was not the day to give you this but she asked me to give you this to remind you of the good times and I think today is the right time.” She said handing me a small parcel wrapped in black tissue paper.
As soon as it was in my hands she joined Alex and left. I waited till I couldn’t see anyone in sight before opening the parcel. As soon as I saw the black mask I wore to the masquerade ball I could see her logic behind giving it to me, the memories it held I would never forget even if I didn’t have it. I don’t know how long I stood there but eventually Jase came over and suggested we go back to the house and get a drink. I put the mask in my pocket and walked away. She had done herself proud; the service was fitting to who she was. Perfect.
Back at the house I noticed most of the people from the church were business associates of Jasmines, they were chauffeured and standing dressed in god knows how much designer suits. Listening from a far of them talk about her was weird, it was like they were talking about a completely different women. Slowly they began to approach me, telling me how sorry they were, how she was one of the best at cutting deals and how much she would be missed in their world.
Apparently there were some big shots in the house, I couldn’t tell you their names, and they didn’t stay long. I went back up to her room; it didn’t feel like our room anymore. I looked around the room and decided I couldn’t stay here any longer, she wasn’t coming back and neither was I. I packed my clothes careful not to look at her things. I took down the photo collage that I had hung on the wall when I bought my belongings over, we had added loads of our own photographs over the last few months and she was stunning in all of them. I retrieved our wedding dvd from the player and slid it in the side of my case.
The room looked exactly the same as when I first came here, empty apart from the bed and TV and the drawers she got me, it was sad to think she lived in this room and couldn’t sleep with added furniture. It only took two trips to take my things downstairs; Jase was sitting on the bottom step holding a bottle of beer on the second trip down.
“I gathered you would be packing. I will drive you home. It isn’t the same being here now,” He said looking around.
“I know what you mean.” I mumbled.
“Say goodbye and I will load the car up,” He said picking up my bags.
A lot of people had left since I went upstairs, I tracked my mum and Alex down in the kitchen, and Henry was sitting at the table with a bottle of whiskey staring into space.
“I am going home mum, I can’t be here anymore.” I explained not looking at her face.
“Do you want me to come with you?” she asked.
“No I will fine, I want to be on my own.” I said.
I could see the worry on her face,
“I promise I will be okay, don’t worry about me.” I reassured her looking around for Alex, he had joined Henry and Nat at the table.
I walked over, Henry was the one I found hard to talk too, I know how much he cared for Jas even though she thought she didn’t want or need it.
“Call me if you need anything,” Alex said letting go of Nat’s hand and pulling me into him, “I can’t promise but I will try to keep mum away for a couple of days.” He said releasing me.
“Thanks little bro.” I said.
I bent down to give Nat a kiss on the cheek leaving Henry for last.
I didn’t know what to say to him, the only time we spoke was regarding Jas or when he turned up at my place and punched me. He spoke first probably saving me from saying something stupid,
“I wasn’t sure about you at first, but you loved her for her not her money and I thank you for not walking away from her and being there with her at the end.” He said downing the rest of his drink.
There wasn’t anything else left to say, I shook his hand and left before the tears fell, again.
“Do you want me to come in, or we could go for a drink, I did promise her I would look out for you.” Jase said when he stopped the car outside my house. I thought about it for all of two seconds before I knew the only place I wanted to be was on my own.
“No, I am just going to go in, I will let you know if I need you.” I said making no effort to move.
“Okay man, don’t forget to eat as you haven’t got Rose around no more.” He tried to joke.
I had got used to Rose being around, every meal cooked whether you asked for it or not. I got out of the car and with Jase’s help took my bags into the house, he didn’t stick around long and I was left standing here, in a house I hadn’t been back to for months.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Christopher…
I couldn’t understand why I had been called in to the will reading, I had repeatedly told her I didn’t want a penny from her, I thought she had realised that I was with her because I loved her. I couldn’t sit in the chair, I needed to be close the door in case I needed to get out quick. Today was the first day I had seen Henry or Rose since the funeral. Alex and Nat had been called in as well as my mother; I stood as they sat around the large wooden desk waiting for Jas’s lawyer Mr Jones to return.
“Come and sit down Christopher.” I flinched when I heard my mother call me that. Jas had been the only one to use my full name and that was the way I intended it stay.
Mr Jones returned and sat at his desk, he greeted us solemnly as he began opening folders and looked up at us all.
“Right, today the last will and testament of Jasmine Elizabeth Jenson nee Collins is to be read, all persons here present were requested by Mrs Jenson. Apart from the changes made by Mrs Jenson, she requested ninety per cent of her estate, which equals to the sum of one point three billion pounds to be left to the NSPCC charity with the remaining monies to be left to various charities stated. Her properties in the South of France, New York, California, London and Cambridge will be sold and all proceeds will go to the charities stated above.
She starts with Rose Carter, to you I leave my house in Cambridge and all its contents, you made it the home it is and now it is yours, also I leave you ten million pounds.
To Henry Robinson I leave you my apartment in London and all its contents with a payment of ten million pounds, I also leave you the Bentley, it has always been yours anyway. She moves on to Fiona Jenson,” He said looking to where my mother was sitting, “Jasmine wanted you to know how fond of you she was, she leaves you five million pounds, she said it is a small price to pay for you not to have to put up with her mother propped up at the bar everyday and someone as special as you deserves it.” My mother looked like she was going to fall out of her chair, Henry held her hand offering her the support I couldn’t.
“To Alexander Jenson, I leave you my entire car collection apart from two, I know you will appreciate them like they should be. To Natalie Harrison I leave you my entire bag and purse collection, for you both I leave you ten million pounds. Before you speak up and refuse I am not leaving you the money to give up your jobs, it is to make your lives together easier, work because you enjoy it not because you have to.” Mr Jones gave everyone a moment to take it all in. I shouldn’t have expected any less, I knew she would have planned this out, my hea
rt thrummed erratically as the lawyer looked at me and smirked. What was he smirking for? Did he find this funny? He cleared his throat and carried on.
“And finally, to my Christopher. Mr Jones here could be reading out that I have left you with everything but he is not, I know you’re standing by the door in case you need a quick get away so sit down and listen carefully,” Mr Jones stopped until I was seated. It made me happy to know she knew me so well, she never seized to amaze me. I could hear Alex chuckling too.
“She says, now your seated I will carry on, I leave you my Aston Martin, you look sexy as hell driving it and I know you love it so please don’t moan about it, you know it holds good memories,” I blushed instantly as everyone looked at me, how could I forget the memories, I couldn’t think about that right now though, “Please listen to me now as this isn’t a gift I am leaving you. It has been hard for me not to leave you an over the top payment but I understand that isn’t what you want, the only thing you want I can’t give you and I am forever sorry about that. I leave you the sum of three hundred thousand pounds with conditions so stay in your seat because I haven’t finished. I leave you this so you can start your own company, it is more of a loan which you will have to make repayments to a charity of your choice until the sum has been repaid in full, see I can be reasonable sometimes. This is all I leave you so please accept without being difficult, the investments I made over the years have never let me down and I know you won’t either. My last token I leave you is a letter, which Mr Jones will give to you; it says it all for me.
Well I guess that is it from me, this is the last act I can do for you all, please accept my gifts and know you all changed my life in more ways than you could imagine. Live your lives to the full as I would have if I were still with you.” He finished.
I don’t remember how I ended up here at Jasmines graveside. It must have been my subconscious guiding me to read her letter where I could be close to her.