CHAPTER XII.
As soon as they were gone, Elizabeth walked out to recover her spirits;or in other words, to dwell without interruption on those subjects thatmust deaden them more. Mr. Darcy's behaviour astonished and vexed her.
Why, if he came only to be silent, grave, and indifferent, said she,did he come at all?
She could settle it in no way that gave her pleasure.
He could be still amiable, still pleasing, to my uncle and aunt, whenhe was in town; and why not to me? If he fears me, why come hither? Ifhe no longer cares for me, why silent? Teazing, teazing, man! I willthink no more about him.
Her resolution was for a short time involuntarily kept by the approachof her sister, who joined her with a cheerful look, which shewed herbetter satisfied with their visitors, than Elizabeth.
Now, said she, that this first meeting is over, I feel perfectlyeasy. I know my own strength, and I shall never be embarrassed again byhis coming. I am glad he dines here on Tuesday. It will then be publiclyseen, that on both sides, we meet only as common and indifferentacquaintance.
Yes, very indifferent indeed, said Elizabeth, laughingly. Oh, Jane,take care.
My dear Lizzy, you cannot think me so weak, as to be in danger now.
I think you are in very great danger of making him as much in love withyou as ever.
* * * * *
They did not see the gentlemen again till Tuesday; and Mrs. Bennet, inthe meanwhile, was giving way to all the happy schemes, which the goodhumour, and common politeness of Bingley, in half an hour's visit, hadrevived.
On Tuesday there was a large party assembled at Longbourn; and the two,who were most anxiously expected, to the credit of their punctuality assportsmen, were in very good time. When they repaired to thedining-room, Elizabeth eagerly watched to see whether Bingley would takethe place, which, in all their former parties, had belonged to him, byher sister. Her prudent mother, occupied by the same ideas, forbore toinvite him to sit by herself. On entering the room, he seemed tohesitate; but Jane happened to look round, and happened to smile: it wasdecided. He placed himself by her.
Elizabeth, with a triumphant sensation, looked towards his friend. Hebore it with noble indifference, and she would have imagined thatBingley had received his sanction to be happy, had she not seen his eyeslikewise turned towards Mr. Darcy, with an expression of half-laughingalarm.
His behaviour to her sister was such, during dinner time, as shewed anadmiration of her, which, though more guarded than formerly, persuadedElizabeth, that if left wholly to himself, Jane's happiness, and hisown, would be speedily secured. Though she dared not depend upon theconsequence, she yet received pleasure from observing his behaviour. Itgave her all the animation that her spirits could boast; for she was inno cheerful humour. Mr. Darcy was almost as far from her, as the tablecould divide them. He was on one side of her mother. She knew how littlesuch a situation would give pleasure to either, or make either appear toadvantage. She was not near enough to hear any of their discourse, butshe could see how seldom they spoke to each other, and how formal andcold was their manner, whenever they did. Her mother's ungraciousness,made the sense of what they owed him more painful to Elizabeth's mind;and she would, at times, have given any thing to be privileged to tellhim, that his kindness was neither unknown nor unfelt by the whole ofthe family.
She was in hopes that the evening would afford some opportunity ofbringing them together; that the whole of the visit would not pass awaywithout enabling them to enter into something more of conversation, thanthe mere ceremonious salutation attending his entrance. Anxious anduneasy, the period which passed in the drawing-room, before thegentlemen came, was wearisome and dull to a degree, that almost made heruncivil. She looked forward to their entrance, as the point on which allher chance of pleasure for the evening must depend.
If he does not come to me, _then_, said she, I shall give him up forever.
The gentlemen came; and she thought he looked as if he would haveanswered her hopes; but, alas! the ladies had crowded round the table,where Miss Bennet was making tea, and Elizabeth pouring out the coffee,in so close a confederacy, that there was not a single vacancy near her,which would admit of a chair. And on the gentlemen's approaching, one ofthe girls moved closer to her than ever, and said, in a whisper,
The men shan't come and part us, I am determined. We want none of them;do we?
Darcy had walked away to another part of the room. She followed him withher eyes, envied every one to whom he spoke, had scarcely patienceenough to help anybody to coffee; and then was enraged against herselffor being so silly!
A man who has once been refused! How could I ever be foolish enough toexpect a renewal of his love? Is there one among the sex, who would notprotest against such a weakness as a second proposal to the same woman?There is no indignity so abhorrent to their feelings!
She was a little revived, however, by his bringing back his coffee cuphimself; and she seized the opportunity of saying,
Is your sister at Pemberley still?
Yes, she will remain there till Christmas.
And quite alone? Have all her friends left her?
Mrs. Annesley is with her. The others have been gone on to Scarborough,these three weeks.
She could think of nothing more to say; but if he wished to conversewith her, he might have better success. He stood by her, however, forsome minutes, in silence; and, at last, on the young lady's whisperingto Elizabeth again, he walked away.
When the tea-things were removed, and the card tables placed, the ladiesall rose, and Elizabeth was then hoping to be soon joined by him, whenall her views were overthrown, by seeing him fall a victim to hermother's rapacity for whist players, and in a few moments after seatedwith the rest of the party. She now lost every expectation of pleasure.They were confined for the evening at different tables, and she hadnothing to hope, but that his eyes were so often turned towards her sideof the room, as to make him play as unsuccessfully as herself.
Mrs. Bennet had designed to keep the two Netherfield gentlemen tosupper; but their carriage was unluckily ordered before any of theothers, and she had no opportunity of detaining them.
Well girls, said she, as soon as they were left to themselves, Whatsay you to the day? I think every thing has passed off uncommonly well,I assure you. The dinner was as well dressed as any I ever saw. Thevenison was roasted to a turn--and everybody said, they never saw so fata haunch. The soup was fifty times better than what we had at theLucas's last week; and even Mr. Darcy acknowledged, that the partridgeswere remarkably well done; and I suppose he has two or three Frenchcooks at least. And, my dear Jane, I never saw you look in greaterbeauty. Mrs. Long said so too, for I asked her whether you did not. Andwhat do you think she said besides? 'Ah! Mrs. Bennet, we shall have herat Netherfield at last.' She did indeed. I do think Mrs. Long is as gooda creature as ever lived--and her nieces are very pretty behaved girls,and not at all handsome: I like them prodigiously.
Mrs. Bennet, in short, was in very great spirits; she had seen enough ofBingley's behaviour to Jane, to be convinced that she would get him atlast; and her expectations of advantage to her family, when in a happyhumour, were so far beyond reason, that she was quite disappointed atnot seeing him there again the next day, to make his proposals.
It has been a very agreeable day, said Miss Bennet to Elizabeth. Theparty seemed so well selected, so suitable one with the other. I hope wemay often meet again.
Elizabeth smiled.
Lizzy, you must not do so. You must not suspect me. It mortifies me. Iassure you that I have now learnt to enjoy his conversation as anagreeable and sensible young man, without having a wish beyond it. I amperfectly satisfied from what his manners now are, that he never had anydesign of engaging my affection. It is only that he is blessed withgreater sweetness of address, and a stronger desire of generallypleasing than any other man.
You are very cruel, said her sister, you will not let me smile, andare provoking me to it every moment.
How hard it is in some cases to be believed!
And how impossible in others!
But why should you wish to persuade me that I feel more than Iacknowledge?
That is a question which I hardly know how to answer. We all love toinstruct, though we can teach only what is not worth knowing. Forgiveme; and if you persist in indifference, do not make _me_ yourconfidante.