CHAPTER XVII.
My dear Lizzy, where can you have been walking to? was a questionwhich Elizabeth received from Jane as soon as she entered the room, andfrom all the others when they sat down to table. She had only to say inreply, that they had wandered about, till she was beyond her ownknowledge. She coloured as she spoke; but neither that, nor any thingelse, awakened a suspicion of the truth.
The evening passed quietly, unmarked by any thing extraordinary. Theacknowledged lovers talked and laughed, the unacknowledged were silent.Darcy was not of a disposition in which happiness overflows in mirth;and Elizabeth, agitated and confused, rather _knew_ that she was happy,than _felt_ herself to be so; for, besides the immediate embarrassment,there were other evils before her. She anticipated what would be felt inthe family when her situation became known; she was aware that no oneliked him but Jane; and even feared that with the others it was a_dislike_ which not all his fortune and consequence might do away.
At night she opened her heart to Jane. Though suspicion was very farfrom Miss Bennet's general habits, she was absolutely incredulous here.
You are joking, Lizzy. This cannot be!--engaged to Mr. Darcy! No, no,you shall not deceive me. I know it to be impossible.
This is a wretched beginning indeed! My sole dependence was on you; andI am sure nobody else will believe me, if you do not. Yet, indeed, I amin earnest. I speak nothing but the truth. He still loves me, and we areengaged.
Jane looked at her doubtingly. Oh, Lizzy! it cannot be. I know how muchyou dislike him.
You know nothing of the matter. _That_ is all to be forgot. Perhaps Idid not always love him so well as I do now. But in such cases as these,a good memory is unpardonable. This is the last time I shall everremember it myself.
Miss Bennet still looked all amazement. Elizabeth again, and moreseriously assured her of its truth.
Good Heaven! can it be really so! Yet now I must believe you, criedJane. My dear, dear Lizzy, I would--I do congratulate you--but are youcertain? forgive the question--are you quite certain that you can behappy with him?
There can be no doubt of that. It is settled between us already, thatwe are to be the happiest couple in the world. But are you pleased,Jane? Shall you like to have such a brother?
Very, very much. Nothing could give either Bingley or myself moredelight. But we considered it, we talked of it as impossible. And do youreally love him quite well enough? Oh, Lizzy! do any thing rather thanmarry without affection. Are you quite sure that you feel what you oughtto do?
Oh, yes! You will only think I feel _more_ than I ought to do, when Itell you all.
What do you mean?
Why, I must confess, that I love him better than I do Bingley. I amafraid you will be angry.
My dearest sister, now _be_ be serious. I want to talk very seriously.Let me know every thing that I am to know, without delay. Will you tellme how long you have loved him?
It has been coming on so gradually, that I hardly know when it began.But I believe I must date it from my first seeing his beautiful groundsat Pemberley.
Another intreaty that she would be serious, however, produced thedesired effect; and she soon satisfied Jane by her solemn assurances ofattachment. When convinced on that article, Miss Bennet had nothingfarther to wish.
Now I am quite happy, said she, for you will be as happy as myself. Ialways had a value for him. Were it for nothing but his love of you, Imust always have esteemed him; but now, as Bingley's friend and yourhusband, there can be only Bingley and yourself more dear to me. ButLizzy, you have been very sly, very reserved with me. How little did youtell me of what passed at Pemberley and Lambton! I owe all that I knowof it, to another, not to you.
Elizabeth told her the motives of her secrecy. She had been unwilling tomention Bingley; and the unsettled state of her own feelings had madeher equally avoid the name of his friend. But now she would no longerconceal from her, his share in Lydia's marriage. All was acknowledged,and half the night spent in conversation.
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Good gracious! cried Mrs. Bennet, as she stood at a window the nextmorning, if that disagreeable Mr. Darcy is not coming here again withour dear Bingley! What can he mean by being so tiresome as to be alwayscoming here? I had no notion but he would go a shooting, or something orother, and not disturb us with his company. What shall we do with him?Lizzy, you must walk out with him again, that he may not be in Bingley'sway.
Elizabeth could hardly help laughing at so convenient a proposal; yetwas really vexed that her mother should be always giving him such anepithet.
As soon as they entered, Bingley looked at her so expressively, andshook hands with such warmth, as left no doubt of his good information;and he soon afterwards said aloud, Mr. Bennet, have you no more laneshereabouts in which Lizzy may lose her way again to-day?
I advise Mr. Darcy, and Lizzy, and Kitty, said Mrs. Bennet, to walkto Oakham Mount this morning. It is a nice long walk, and Mr. Darcy hasnever seen the view.
It may do very well for the others, replied Mr. Bingley; but I amsure it will be too much for Kitty. Wont it, Kitty?
Kitty owned that she had rather stay at home. Darcy professed a greatcuriosity to see the view from the Mount, and Elizabeth silentlyconsented. As she went up stairs to get ready, Mrs. Bennet followed her,saying,
I am quite sorry, Lizzy, that you should be forced to have thatdisagreeable man all to yourself. But I hope you will not mind it: it isall for Jane's sake, you know; and there is no occasion for talking tohim, except just now and then. So, do not put yourself toinconvenience.
During their walk, it was resolved that Mr. Bennet's consent should beasked in the course of the evening. Elizabeth reserved to herself theapplication for her mother's. She could not determine how her motherwould take it; sometimes doubting whether all his wealth and grandeurwould be enough to overcome her abhorrence of the man. But whether shewere violently set against the match, or violently delighted with it, itwas certain that her manner would be equally ill adapted to do credit toher sense; and she could no more bear that Mr. Darcy should hear thefirst raptures of her joy, than the first vehemence of herdisapprobation.
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In the evening, soon after Mr. Bennet withdrew to the library, she sawMr. Darcy rise also and follow him, and her agitation on seeing it wasextreme. She did not fear her father's opposition, but he was going tobe made unhappy, and that it should be through her means, that _she_,his favourite child, should be distressing him by her choice, should befilling him with fears and regrets in disposing of her, was a wretchedreflection, and she sat in misery till Mr. Darcy appeared again, when,looking at him, she was a little relieved by his smile. In a few minuteshe approached the table where she was sitting with Kitty; and, whilepretending to admire her work, said in a whisper, Go to your father, hewants you in the library. She was gone directly.
Her father was walking about the room, looking grave and anxious.Lizzy, said he, what are you doing? Are you out of your senses, to beaccepting this man? Have not you always hated him?
How earnestly did she then wish that her former opinions had been morereasonable, her expressions more moderate! It would have spared her fromexplanations and professions which it was exceedingly awkward to give;but they were now necessary, and she assured him with some confusion, ofher attachment to Mr. Darcy.
Or in other words, you are determined to have him. He is rich, to besure, and you may have more fine clothes and fine carriages than Jane.But will they make you happy?
Have you any other objection, said Elizabeth, than your belief of myindifference?
None at all. We all know him to be a proud, unpleasant sort of man; butthis would be nothing if you really liked him.
I do, I do like him, she replied, with tears in her eyes, I love him.Indeed he has no improper pride. He is perfectly amiable. You do notknow what he really is; then pray do not pain me by speaking of him insuch terms.
Lizzy, said her father, I have given him my consent. He is the kindof man, indeed, to whom I should never dare refuse any thing, which hecondescended to ask. I now give it to _you_, if you are resolved onhaving him. But let me advise you to think better of it. I know yourdisposition, Lizzy. I know that you could be neither happy norrespectable, unless you truly esteemed your husband; unless you lookedup to him as a superior. Your lively talents would place you in thegreatest danger in an unequal marriage. You could scarcely escapediscredit and misery. My child, let me not have the grief of seeing_you_ unable to respect your partner in life. You know not what you areabout.
Elizabeth, still more affected, was earnest and solemn in her reply;and at length, by repeated assurances that Mr. Darcy was really theobject of her choice, by explaining the gradual change which herestimation of him had undergone, relating her absolute certainty thathis affection was not the work of a day, but had stood the test of manymonths suspense, and enumerating with energy all his good qualities, shedid conquer her father's incredulity, and reconcile him to the match.
Well, my dear, said he, when she ceased speaking, I have no more tosay. If this be the case, he deserves you. I could not have parted withyou, my Lizzy, to any one less worthy.
To complete the favourable impression, she then told him what Mr. Darcyhad voluntarily done for Lydia. He heard her with astonishment.
This is an evening of wonders, indeed! And so, Darcy did every thing;made up the match, gave the money, paid the fellow's debts, and got himhis commission! So much the better. It will save me a world of troubleand economy. Had it been your uncle's doing, I must and _would_ havepaid him; but these violent young lovers carry every thing their ownway. I shall offer to pay him to-morrow; he will rant and storm abouthis love for you, and there will be an end of the matter.
He then recollected her embarrassment a few days before, on his readingMr. Collins's letter; and after laughing at her some time, allowed herat last to go--saying, as she quitted the room, If any young men comefor Mary or Kitty, send them in, for I am quite at leisure.
Elizabeth's mind was now relieved from a very heavy weight; and, afterhalf an hour's quiet reflection in her own room, she was able to jointhe others with tolerable composure. Every thing was too recent forgaiety, but the evening passed tranquilly away; there was no longer anything material to be dreaded, and the comfort of ease and familiaritywould come in time.
When her mother went up to her dressing-room at night, she followed her,and made the important communication. Its effect was mostextraordinary; for on first hearing it, Mrs. Bennet sat quite still, andunable to utter a syllable. Nor was it under many, many minutes, thatshe could comprehend what she heard; though not in general backward tocredit what was for the advantage of her family, or that came in theshape of a lover to any of them. She began at length to recover, tofidget about in her chair, get up, sit down again, wonder, and blessherself.
Good gracious! Lord bless me! only think! dear me! Mr. Darcy! Who wouldhave thought it! And is it really true? Oh! my sweetest Lizzy! how richand how great you will be! What pin-money, what jewels, what carriagesyou will have! Jane's is nothing to it--nothing at all. I am sopleased--so happy. Such a charming man!--so handsome! so tall!--Oh, mydear Lizzy! pray apologise for my having disliked him so much before. Ihope he will overlook it. Dear, dear Lizzy. A house in town! Every thingthat is charming! Three daughters married! Ten thousand a year! Oh,Lord! What will become of me. I shall go distracted.
This was enough to prove that her approbation need not be doubted: andElizabeth, rejoicing that such an effusion was heard only by herself,soon went away. But before she had been three minutes in her own room,her mother followed her.
My dearest child, she cried, I can think of nothing else! Tenthousand a year, and very likely more! 'Tis as good as a Lord! And aspecial licence. You must and shall be married by a special licence. Butmy dearest love, tell me what dish Mr. Darcy is particularly fond of,that I may have it to-morrow.
This was a sad omen of what her mother's behaviour to the gentlemanhimself might be; and Elizabeth found, that though in the certainpossession of his warmest affection, and secure of her relations'consent, there was still something to be wished for. But the morrowpassed off much better than she expected; for Mrs. Bennet luckily stoodin such awe of her intended son-in-law, that she ventured not to speakto him, unless it was in her power to offer him any attention, or markher deference for his opinion.
Elizabeth had the satisfaction of seeing her father taking pains to getacquainted with him; and Mr. Bennet soon assured her that he was risingevery hour in his esteem.
I admire all my three sons-in-law highly, said he. Wickham, perhaps,is my favourite; but I think I shall like _your_ husband quite as wellas Jane's.